#editing exercise

[curebumblebee]

divine

[theriu]

Sure, I'll try this! Thank you, River! :) Technically three paragraphs, but they entail a single section before cutting away. So:

Even there deep within the earth, the air was frigid. The lit torch cast dancing shadows about the room that continually caressed the stone map of Hydaelyn. Pawns with symbols were strategically positioned across every single continent. A patient eye looked over the map, judging each of its options. Every day for years it had looked over this map and updated it as needed. And now?

Now, a clawed hand reached forward and tipped over the pawn that rested in Gridania. Upon the pawn was engraved the family crest of Clan Khaghh.

“Begin...here.”

Heyyyy, thanks for joining me on Ask the Editor, Neomikey! :D Happy to oblige! Quite frankly, this one took me a few reads to really find edits I could suggest. Your structure and grammar are overall solid, and it has great tone and atmosphere that draws in the reader. But let's dive in and see what we can do to give it a little extra polish!

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Even there deep within the earth, the air was frigid. A(1) lit torch cast dancing shadows about the room and(2) continually caressed the stone map of Hydaelyn. Pawns with symbols were strategically positioned across every single continent. A patient eye looked over the map, judging each of its options. Every day for years[,] it had looked over this map and updated it as needed. And now?

Now, a clawed hand reached forward and tipped over the pawn that rested in Gridania. Upon the pawn was engraved the family crest of Clan Khaghh.

“Begin...here.”(3)

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This sentence has three "the"s in it, which felt juuust a little repetitive. Unless the torch is especially important in this sense (THE torch), changing "the" to "a" should serve the same purpose.

". . . cast dancing shadows about the room that continually caressed the stone map. . .": Since the most recent noun before "that" here is "room," it reads as if the room, rather than the shadows, is continually caressing the map. An easy fix!

This is so nitpicky that I didn't even bother making the change, it's more of a handy tip for publishing: When I do a final review of a manuscript, I always convert the ellipse sign (...) to a full ellipse (. . .), per Chicago Manual of Style (CMOS) guidelines. But it's not worth worrying about at this stage; in fact, I have a macro on my keyboard that automatically converts every ellipse symbol in a manuscript at once!

And aside from the one comma addition, that's all I could find! Thanks for sharing your work, let me know if you have any questions, and happy writing! =D

-River/TheRIU

[manyotherroadsyettorun]

the doctor - in the end 

this is part one of a two (maybe more) part edit exercise of yours truly. Thank you for taking a few seconds out of your time to check this out! as I said this is an exercise in editing for me. It started as just a bit of an honour towards Chester Bennington (Linkin Park) who passed away three years ago. I've always loved this song so much and am a huge LP fan. So it's always been a rough day when his dead comes around. then it was an edit of trying to edit with different fades (I love me a fade but I'd realize beat wise other stuff is nice as well) Then, while I was editing this bundle of pain, I realized that this was a beautiful oppertunity to show a dual POV edit. Which means that I'm gonna edit the exact same song, but from the Masters viewpoint (also because Sasha deserves ALL THE FREAKING awards for his portrayal of the master) I purposefully didn't edit the coloring in this, cause I think it's a keypoint to what the story was telling in 12x10. this is for all the people that don't like change (to showcase what both Jodie and Sasha bring to the thirteenth era) you know who you are :) If you like what i do please consider a sub on youtube, it would make my day :)

[ajmcgeewrites]

John Wick 2: A quick fix

John Wick 2: A quick fix

A friend recently got around to watching this movie and reminded me of the minimal-reshoot revisions that I posited back in May of last year! So without further ado, here’s how I would have edited John Wick 2 to make it slightly more coherent (though we all know you’re just watching for the action anyway).

https://twitter.com/skylit1/status/1130539966482796544

I find rewriting movies in…

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[andayyyy]

Instagram vs Reality

There is a subreddit that exists known as ‘InstagramReality’. The premise of r/instagramrealityis exposing poorly done facetune or Photoshop to show the reality behind social media posts. It isn’t meant to bash those who do it, but to bring the light the disparity that exists between online and real life. A lot of people fall into a really negative mindset when they see ‘Instagram models’ that…

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[andayyyy]

Editing Exercise - Sparking Joy

Editing Exercise – Sparking Joy

When you don’t have the space or the artistic ability to make a mural, you get creative.

It’s not my cleanest edit in the world, but it still made for good practice on how to edit out large areas of space while trying to keep the tones the same. I still had some areas where I was a bit too heavy handed with the burning, and you can definitely see it.

The more you know for next time I…

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[andayyyy]

Editing Exercise - Floating on Cloud Nine

Editing Exercise – Floating on Cloud Nine

This was one of my most widely requested edits, and surprisingly one of my most liked photos on Instagram. I was on the fence on whether I wanted to post a behind the scenes on it, but at the end of the day, it’s just a picture. I’ve learned from from others in the creative field, maybe I can encourage someone else to do the same.

In 30 seconds or less, you can make a person float by either…

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[andayyyy]

Editing Exercise - Take it Slow

Editing Exercise – Take it Slow

It’s been a long while since I did one of these posts, but I figured I’d give it a shot again. You can check out my other Editing Exercises here. Anyway, on one of my off days, I took a walk around town and practiced with some long exposure shots. It didn’t really catch a lot of attention, but it was one of the hardest photo composites I ever did. Take a look:

I started with three separate…

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