he knows this . as much as part of him imagines it all as something fun , almost like an adventure that he can't describe , he knows there's nativity to that . what he wants , what the others in the band want , was going to be a lot of work . & just winning a contest wasn't enough to get them what they wanted . he knew all of this .
[ @suga2k : ❛ i won't lie, it won't be easy. ❜ ]
" --- do you have any advice ? " he tilts his head , leaning into the hand resting on his cheek , eyes burning bright with curiosity & intrigue . if anyone would know anything about how hard this whole thing is , & how to take control of it , it had to be dana , right ? " like . what's one thing you would do differently if you were me type stuff . "
From the post I’m calling the fic-specific questions meme:
For “Indelible”, #8, and #12.
[Just as a note, clicking the link will open a new window.]
8. Was there anything I only learned about the fic after I had finished it? (themes, motifs, symbolism, etc)
Themes/motifs/symbolism after the fic was finished? Hoo boy, that’s kind of a tough one. I mean, I knew going in that there was going to be a struggle between Ori wanting to know more about soulmates — and about his soulmate, specifically — and the fact that Dwalin definitely wasn’t going to talk to him because Dwalin was worried about propriety. But after the fact, I think I was so ready for the fic to be finished that I hadn’t really gone back and tried to examine it with a critical eye?
Now, granted, part of that is the fact that there’s been long stretches of time when I just couldn’t reread my own stuff. When I’m able to reread it without wincing, it’s a victory, so yay.
Um. Geez, I’d like to think that there’s symbolism in the way that Dwalin and Nori are willing to do whatever it takes to protect Ori, even if it’s not necessarily legal, and it’s definitely without Ori’s knowledge. I’d also like to think that there’s some symbolism with Nidi as well. I mean, in my head, I’ve always ended up reading his name like “needy”, and in a way, Nidi really does need that family contact, but at the same time, he sort of ends up acting like he doesn’t need it. In “Formative Assessment”, I meant to give him a bigger part, but he ended up being the only one of Nori’s kids that really does find a family who cares about him.
I wish I could think of other things that sort of cropped up after the fact where I can look back at the fic and go, “Wow, I hadn’t intended on doing that, but it just sort of happened, and that’s awesome!” but I’m having trouble?
I know that in the trippy dream sequence, the four most important people in Ori’s life show up, and it’s Dori first, because Dori will always mean the most. And then Balin, because Balin ended up becoming a father/uncle figure to him because of the apprenticeship, and then Dwalin, and then Nori. Nori was supposed to be the final clue that Ori was still unconscious, but at the same time, the disconnect between Ori and Nori is kind of telling. I mean, in Revisions, Ori ends up wanting to be close to Nori and reconnect with him, but the dream sort of ended up being a short-hand for what Ori has felt like in the major relationships in his life. Of course, Fili and Kili end up not showing up, but they’re his friends, not his caretakers.
The fire and ice dichotomy when Ori was unconscious was interesting, because Dwalin is an ice figure — he’s figuratively cold to Ori, but he’s the kind of cold that’s blistering hot to the touch. And then the living world as a fire that hurts too much to handle is another one, though again, Ori was covered in ice water in a freezer, so no surprise there. ^^;
12. Did any thing about this fic’s reception surprise me?
Part of me wants to say that I’m surprised that it got as popular as it did. Then again, I think I was also surprised that so many people ended up siding with Ori like they did? It’s one thing to think that the POV character is sympathetic, but I think I always worried that Ori would come off sounding like a self-absorbed whiny kid instead of a dwarf who’s trying to find his way in the world and not quite managing it.
I’m a bit surprised that people like it because it’s well-written, but that’s kind of my own self-esteem issues rearing their ugly heads. Compared to the writers I like and look up to, I feel like “Indelible” is a slapdash thing held together by flimsy plot twists, bailing wire, and nervous smiles that hope you won’t see the man behind the curtain.
It’s especially surprising to encounter people who say, “Oh, yeah, I’d started reading that before. I should really go back and finish it now that it’s finished.” From my experiences in fandom, if you’re writing a long fic and you don’t keep up the tight schedule of posting once a week or twice a week or whatever, no one is ever going to look at it again unless, twelve years down the line, they happen to remember it, and go, “Oh! It’s actually finished!” and then they sit down and read it, or something. It’s like, if you’re posting a fic, you either need to be so good that you can get the chapter right the first time and you can post immediately, or you need to write the fic ahead of time, and then deliberately space out the chapters so that people will read and comment on the current chapter, but you’re not flooding them with chapters that they’ll just zip through, and you only get the one comment at the end.
So, I figured as soon as I hit the first writer’s block with the fic, I figured that I lost whatever momentum I had, and I was just going to finish the fic because I didn’t want to leave it as a WIP. I’ve done it before, and I never feel very good when I’m reminded of them, because then I feel guilty for having left them hanging. :(
