#eggman rant

[transfrogwithcoolsocks]

[kitkatclubcopia]

ALT text: I'm making a call out post on my tumblr dot com. Beetlejuice 2, you fucking sucked. Tim Burton fucking killed my goddamn wife, he died getting poisoned by HIS wife and I said THAT BACKSTORY FUCKING SUCKED!!!!! They took out their shitty ass screenwriting abilities. And they ruined the fucking storyline. He fucked Beetlejuice (my wife), so guess what, so I'm gonna fucking review bomb the shit out of this movie. Watch out letterboxd. I'm coming for you. How'd ya like that Tim Burton? IM WRITING A BAD REVIEWWWWW!!!!!

[psidrako3]

Higher beings, these words are for you alone:

The radiance is a bitchass motherfucker, he's infecting my fucking kingdom. That's right, he took his orange ass infection shit and is infecting my fucking kingdom, and she said,"It would spread THIS far." and I said,"that's fucking discusting". So I'm headed to the City of Tears to say,"Radiance you have a weak infection it will spread to dirtmouth and that's it." And guess what my plan is:

*PureBoi.exe*

That's right baby, no thought, no mind, no voice look at that it looks like a pair of tweezers and a rag.

You infected my kingdom and THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, SUPER HOLLOW SUCC

*PureBoiVaccum.exe*

Except I'm not stopping there, IM EMBRACING THE VOID

*ShadeLord.exe*

HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, GODSEEKER, I EMBRACED THE VOID YOU IDIOT

You have 23 hours before the Shade Lord devours the fucking Earth, now get out of my sight, before I destroy you too.

[hasspartacusdoneanythingwrong]

Day 643

Kris: I've come to make an announcement: vritra the dragon's a bitch-ass motherfucker, she locked up my present. that's right, she took her dragon-fuckin' lip vajra out and she locked up my fucking present, and she said her vajra was "THIS BIG," and I said "that's disgusting," so I'm making a callout post on my tumblr.com: vritra the dragon, you've got a small vajra. it's the size of this chestnut except WAY smaller. and guess what? here's what my vajra looks like.

that's right, baby. all girth, no quills, no pillows- look at that, it looks like an overcooked hotdog. she locked my present, so guess what, I'm gonna punch the earth. that's right, this is what you get: MY SUPER LASER FIST!!

except I'm not gonna punch the earth, I'm gonna go higher; I'M PUNCHING MOUNT EVEREST! how do you like that, the Dalai Lama?! I PUNCHED MOUNT EVEREST, YOU IDIOT!

you have 23 hours before the punch debrrris hit the fucking earth, now get outta my fucking sight, before I punch you too!

[sexy-zeitreise-detektiv]

Eva: I've come to make an announcement: Jonas Kahnwald a bitch-ass motherfucker. He fucked his fucking aunt. That's right. He took his steampunk lookin' rusty time machine out and he railed his FUCKING aunt, and then he said "wir passen perfekt zusammen :)", and I said "that's disgusting!!". So I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com - Jonas Kahnwald - you got a clonky time machine. It's the size of this walnut except WAY bigger. And guess what? Here's what my time machine looks like: That's right, baby - hand held size, no tubes, no ugly ass chess design. Look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked his aunt, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck his dimension. That's right, this is what you get! My SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on Winden, I'm gonna go higher. I'm pissing on the moon! How do you like that, MERKEL? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss DRRRROPLLLETS hit the fucking nuclear reactor, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too.

[pixelpurr]

I've come to make an announcement: the coronavirus is a bitch-ass motherfucker, he cancelled my fucking band trip. That's right, he took his bacteria-fuckin' microscopic virus out and he cancelled my fucking band trip, and he said his virus was "this dangerous," and I said "that's disgusting," so I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com: COVID-19, you've got a small virus, It's the size of these US students' combined wills to live except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my immune system looks like: that's right baby, all points, no quills, no pillows— look at that, it looks like an immune system and a bong. He cancelled my band trip, so guess what, I'm gonna cancel the UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT. That's right, this is what you get: MY SUPER LASER PISS!! Except I'm not gonna piss on the United States Government, I'm gonna go higher; I'm pissing ON THE MOON! How do you like that, Trump? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss drrrrroplllllllets hit the fucking White House, now get outta my fucking sight, before I piss on you too!

[mixx-exists]

I'VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT

Shadow The Hedgehog's a bad guy, he cried on my wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog quilly tears and he cried on my dear wife, and he said his tears were "This big" and I said that's disgusting, so I'm making a callout post on my tumblr dot com, Shadow the Hedgehog, you've got small tears, it's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller, and guess what? Here's what my cat looks like: PFFFT, THATS RIGHT, BABY, ALL POINTS, NO QUILLS, NO PILLOWS. Look at that, it's got like two ears and a tail. He cried on my wife so guess what? I'm gonna cry on the Earth. THAT'S RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER LAZER TEARS! Except I'm not gonna cry on the earth, I'm gonna go higher. I'M CRYING ON THE MOON! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, MRBEAST? I CRIED ON THE MOON, YOU FOOL! YOU HAVE 23 HOURS BEFORE THE TEAR DROPLETS HIT THE EARTH NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I CRY ON YOU TOO.

...

I'm so sorry ebbxjsjwbcjjsjx

@star-g you know what's up

People of the internet I give you, the censored Eggman rant. About Shadow the Hedgehog's tears.

[radiokilledthevideost3r]

eggman rant but its remus sanders

I've come to make an announcement: virgil sanders a bitch-ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking husband ! That's right; he took his spider fuckin' webby  dick out, and he pissed on my FUCKING husband , and he said his dick was (imitating virgil) "THIS BIG" (regular voice) and I said "that's disgusting"! So I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com: virgil sanders, you got a small dick! It's the size of this walnut, except WAY smaller! And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like! (remus makes explosion sounds with his mouth) That's right, baby! Tall points, no webs, no pillows — look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong! He fucked my husband, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the Earth! That's right, this is what you get! My SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the Earth, I'm gonna go higher! I'm pissing on the MOOOOOON! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, THOMAS!? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss DRRROPLLLETS hit the fucking Earth! Now get out of my fucking sight, before I piss on you too! i did it i made something beautiful