#emotionallabour

[betterlyf]

Emotional labour refers to situation when one feels the need to suppress emotions at work. Does this sound like something familiar?

[ladyspeechsankofa]

Because it’s Black Friday... Because so many people are spending lots of money... In honor of Black, Brown, and Indigenous Femmes... I am reposting this little gem. I Dear you reading this, Have you benefited from the emotional labor of a black woman a brown woman or indigenous women at some point in your life?(Trick question the answer is yes) Have you benefited from the physical labor of Black women, Brown women, and Indigenous women? (Trick Question the answer is yes) Have you benefited from the oppression of Black Women, Brown Women, and Indigenous women? (Trick Question the answer is YES) Have you been “ entertained” by a Black, Brown, or Indigenous woman? (Trick Question the answer is hell yes you have) Has a Black, Brown, or Indigenous women helped to heal you? (Another trick question!!! The answer is yes!) Then reparations are in order. Here is 1 of many opportunities to support Black, Brown, and Indigenous women. Support Black, Brown, and Indigenous Women Thread. Instructions: Dearest Black, Brown, and Indigenous women post your Cash$ App, PayPal, & or PayPal or other forms of digital payment information below. Feel free to list your services, business, or needs. Everyone else - choose at least 2 people to and contribute to their financial well being. If you have $2 to spare, give $2. If you have $5 to spare, give $5. If you have $10 to spare, give $10. If you have $20 to spare, give $20. If you have $100 to spare, give $100. If you have $10,000 go spare give $10,000. Black women, Brown women, Indigenous women heal you. We liberate you. We support you. We educate you. We care for you. We stand with you. We stand up FOR you. We love you. We fight for you. We help you. We are you. The LEAST you can do is pay us. Your loving donations / reparations are greatly appreciated. Thank You. I love you. I live you. Cash App - $Ladyspeech PayPal - [email protected] Venmo - LadySpeech Sankofa Feel free to share this post. Love LadySpeech #Reparations #SupportBlackWomen #TrustBlackWomen #BrownIsBeautiful #BlackIsBeautiful #ProtectIndigenousWomen #Balance #EmotionalLabour #PhysicalLabour #DigDeepAndGive #BrownPride #BlackPower https://www.instagram.com/p/BqiXUDNhWGJ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=6whe4epmlo6p

[janeelend]

📚Corner of Thought: Weaponised incompetence is domestic abuse. We just gave it a cute name.

Somewhere along the way, we started calling it “weaponised incompetence,” like it was a meme instead of what it actually is. It is not that he cannot cook, clean, plan, or remember. He manages a job, hobbies, games and friends. His brain works perfectly fine when it benefits him. Suddenly, it breaks only when it comes to shared responsibility.

So you pick up the slack. You remind, organise, carry the mental load for two adults and call it a compromise. But compromise is two people bending. Not one person bending until they disappear.

If someone consistently opts out, you do not have a partner. You have unpaid labour with a romantic label. There is nothing cute about pretending to be helpless so someone else has to be exhausted.

Competence is respect. And you are allowed to want respect in your own home.

J.✨

Read full article: https://medium.com/@janeelend

[carolemellie]

Dying in Installments

I don’t remember the first time I started dying—maybe it was when they called me “the responsible one”and handed me the weightwithout ever checking if my spine had grown in yet. Since then, I’ve been crumbling quietly.Piece by piece.Expectation by expectation. I was a child when I became their anchor.Braiding my sister’s hair with handstoo tired from carrying my mother’s sadness.Soothing…

[marksmusingsuk]

Always the First to Message—But Not Anymore

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been the one to reach out. The first one to check in, the first one to make sure everyone is okay, the one who sends those messages that say, “Hey, I’m thinking of you” or “How’s everything going?” It’s like I’ve made it my job to make sure that people know they aren’t alone, that someone out there actually cares. But what do I get in return? Absolutely nothing when I need it the most.

It’s hard to explain the feeling of being the one who always initiates. You try so hard to stay connected, to be the person who brings others up, who reminds them that they’re seen and loved. You think you’re creating bonds, building friendships, showing care and concern. But when things aren’t going well in your life, when your world is falling apart, those same people you’ve reached out to time and time again? They disappear.

They skip over the messy stuff—the parts where you’re broken, hurt, and vulnerable. They don’t take the time to ask how you’re really doing. They don’t care about the real stuff because it doesn’t come with a shiny favour or benefit. When you’re not in a position to help or offer something in return, suddenly, you're invisible. The emotional labour I’ve put into these relationships feels one-sided, and it’s exhausting.

I’ve realised that people only message me when they want something—whether it’s advice, a favour, or just someone to talk to when they need to feel better about themselves. When the tables are turned, though, there’s no reciprocation. No genuine concern when I’m struggling. No one checking in because they care about me as a person. Instead, I’m left staring at my phone, wondering why I always end up alone in my thoughts, when I’m the one who always tried to be there.

And don’t even get me started on the people who know I’m struggling. Those who know that my mind isn’t right, that I’m walking through life with an emotional weight that’s crushing me, and yet they continue to turn a blind eye. I’m sure they’ve noticed. How could they not? But there’s no “How are you doing?” No “Is everything okay?” No “Do you need to talk?”

They know I’m broken, and they know there’s nothing they can get from me right now. So they don’t bother. Because if there’s no favour in it for them, why invest any energy in me? Why take the time to support me when I can’t give them anything in return?

I see it now, loud and clear. And I’m done.

I’m done being the person who always initiates. Done being the one who sends those messages, always trying to hold the connection together, while the other person just drifts off, waiting for the next time they need something from me. I’m done offering my time and energy to people who wouldn’t even notice if I disappeared from their lives, because I’m just a convenience to them, not a priority.

Yes, I’m talking to the ones who’ve used me. The ones who’ve only called when they needed something, and only when it suited them. The ones who’ve taken from me and never once thought about giving back. I’m done with you. I’m done giving pieces of myself away to people who couldn’t care less.

And no, it’s not just about the handful of people who genuinely care. I’m not throwing them all into the same category, because I know who you are, and I appreciate you beyond words. But this isn’t about you. This is about the others—the ones who don’t care enough to ask how I’m doing unless it’s to ask for a favour. The ones who’ve known I’ve been hurting and haven’t reached out.

So here’s my message: Fuck you all. I’m done. I’m not the emotional dumping ground anymore. I’m not the person who always has to be strong for everyone else while my own strength is drained. I’ve spent too many years giving and giving and getting nothing in return but the same cold silence when I need someone to lean on.

If you want something from me, you can ask someone else. Because from now on, I’m saving my energy for the people who actually give a damn about me—not just when it’s convenient, but all the time. For the people who see me as more than just someone they can use. For the ones who check in when they know I’m struggling, not just when they want something. For the people who actually know what it means to be there for someone.

I’ve learnt my lesson. It’s time to stop being the first to message, the first to care, and the one who always makes the effort. From now on, I’ll wait. I’ll wait for the people who actually want to show up for me, just like I’ve shown up for them. If you’re not one of those people, then this is goodbye. And I’m not sorry.

[mybodyliberation]

I was inspired by a recent post by @curvesncurlsuk (please go and read it) about being an empath and not falling into the trap of taking on huge amounts of emotional labour. It got me really thinking because I often view things and experiences through the lenses of others instead of myself. So it's definitely time to do some rewiring. • What do you hope to emotionally or mentally rewire? • • Outfit: @grass_fields #fbf #mentalhealthmatters #selfawareness #emotionallabour #igwriters #selfcareday #african #blackgirlstravel #selflovebringsbeauty (at Marylebone London) https://www.instagram.com/michellehopewell/p/Bvmaj26H1eI/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1fhdtwbft485r

[sarahnason]

A Retired White Dad, A Story in Three Acts

Act 1: Months 1-6: I Am Making Up All Those Lost Years To Your Mother Act 2: Months 6-12: Doing Housework Is Hard And I Talk About That A Lot Act 3: The rest of time: I Am Supposed To Be Relaxing Stop Asking Me To Do Stuff

[faunawolf]

Found some super great tiny ‘zines on #menstruation and #emotionallabour by @kmortizx at a cafe in #Bushwick - really makes me want to make ‘zines again. 😀 https://www.instagram.com/p/Bog447glPTm/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=y10ns29svk2q