Need to get something off my chest. I didn't want to talk about Heeseung right now. But with so many conflicting opinions, I'm wondering if Heeseung DID want this?
If he did want a solo instantly—that is fine. But the timing of this happened so illogically, that I can't HELP but think about it. This is just a rant. So.
So, here is my version of the timeline:
It's 2025. Hee released dial tragedy, and it sounded really good. And that was around... summer(?). Heeseung thinks he is definitely ready for a solo album, but he needs to get Bad Desire, the concerts, and Knife over and done with.
Hee suggests his ideas to the team once they hit November. At this point, filming En O clock. He is ready to go. He thinks he can do it within a group, and this would be a point in his life that really boosts his artistry.
The label decides that he should wait—discussions start in December of what he should do—this may include renewals, schedules, and anything to do with his solo.
He gets told that this isn't possible with their schedule. Even then, Hee wants to try and negotiate this, and he properly fights to make an album of his own while being in the group. He gets called greedy and "putting his ambitions above the group," and Hee falls into doubt. He doesn't know what to do.
Cue conflict in his head, the day dreaming, and the zoning out. At this point, it's ending December. En O clocks are filmed, but Heeseung is deeply conflicted.
January, he gets given more options of what he can do. He is told there is NO room for his artistry even though other artists are allowed time to do this. Manipulated more. Therefore, the desire to leave rises and emotions run high.
They have their comeback and are filming BTS of the comeback stages where he is visibly seen being distant on camera. My guess is that he told Jungwon/other members, and they decided that they couldn't get involved too much. But that Heeseung's idea of a solo is good. They support him. They know he talented af.
Then, cue all the interviews and shows where he says they "are planning/working on their tour," and he smiles when he accidentally "spoiled" it. They even have their comeback live where he is seen happy, less distant. So, at this point, Heeseung may feel positive with the members' support.
February arrives. He does his life, and everyone acts normal. Jungwon comes live a few more times. So does Jay. And all the members. They know discussions are happening, but nothing is negative as of yet.
Then comes the news of the fancalls, the Melbourne concert festival, and they film a video where all 7 of them are also discussing that they are excited to go! Fan calls are promoted as 7 members when fans purchase the tickets for each event, expecting Heeseung.
Heeseung is getting more irritated with being kept on hold with his album. He keeps asking. And then, March arrives. He damn well knows he needs to do something about it. Then, they deliver a dumb ultimatum on a random weekend in March that pushes him into a corner. He is now conflicted again, manipulated to be thought of as greedy, and is thinking about his future. He tells the members. They are a little bit pissed, and there could have been confrontations.
Could be the reason why all members were "sick" on that one event last week. Things went down.
Another fancall, but he says, "we're planning on coming to Europe" — indicates that they were planning for a tour.
9th March, he goes to Shanghai for the fancall. Riki isn't there because of politics. And he knows he has to make a decision.
9th-10th March overnight, something must have pushed Heeseung to do this OR the label pushed him to do this to either: cover up a scandal he did; cover up a scandal in HYBE (bc yes, Bang PD also had some criminal sentence given to him); they are hard launching Heeseung for no reason without his group; Heeseung genuinely was pushed to the brink for some reason. And does so in the middle of promotions. This is where the big gap is that we don't know among many others (and has caused fans to spiral).
Now, I want to reiterate—if Heeseung wants to leave the group, that is fine. But the lack of closure of why he left now rather than later, what pushed him to drop Enhypen, and why Belift couldn't make space for his creative freedom is now what fans demand. It doesn't make sense as to why this happened.
That is what I demand. I need the whole truth. From him. Not from AI generated letters, but from his own mouth, from the members as well. But, considering how much he was talking about touring, being with the others for their 10th anniversary, and doing activities in 2026 AS A GROUP, his words don't match this action, and has left us MORE confused.
So, for this to suddenly happen overnight means something must have happened to push this decision. I know it wasn't planned:
They planned their Melbourne trip. (Heeseung is not going to be there and cancelled his flight).
En o clock was filmed, edited, scheduled, and released for 3 weeks now. (It has now been postponed until April, even though they left it as a 2 part episode where part 1 clearly has Heeseung edited in).
They had fan calls scheduled (postponed and/or cancelled until later this month).
They have so many more activities they talked about (tours, solos, being together).
So no. It wasn't planned because otherwise, this wouldn't be as disorganised as Belift is trying to hide it as. It is the messiest departure I have ever seen with no explanation, no transparency, no truth as to what made Heeseung supposedly "choose" to commit himself elsewhere after all this in such a last-minute decision.
Onto my other point—if Heeseung genuinely chose this with all his mind, why are the members having to act as if Heeseung doesn't exist? Isn't this something he chose to do? Why wouldn't the members want to say something in SUPPORT of Heeseung going solo, knowing that the media has BLOWN UP in backlash against this decision. If this was Heeseung's whole decision, then the members, Heeseung, should reassure the fans themselves. Not the label—the members themselves. They have to act as if he was never there, which isn't a good look for anyone.
Next. It was so rushed. Usually, with departures, the member leaving usually has one last goodbye in person. Not dramatic but visible. But for Heeseung, it was a letter, no appearance, and now, we don't know where he is, if this is really in his best interests.
Next, onto his letter and statements. The belift statement said he has a distinct and different music style.
Okay? So? Lots of groups do their concept as a group and solos, and you know what? This brings in more attention and money to the group as a whole. People have speculated that Belift pressured him to do so in order to get double the amount of money—but that also is weird. If this was about money, they could still get that same amount of money even if he was IN a group. The thing that really upholds that is their timing and creative freedom. They didn't give that to Heeseung, made him feel guilty and trapped, and now, this.
Second—this is still about Heeseung's statement regarding how he doesn't want to be greedy—again, lots of groups do this and it is NOT seen as greedy. Unless you don't have eyes, solos have gotten great attention. E.g:
These artists, in one way or another, have brought attention and money in for themselves and their groups, all while keeping their creative freedom.
So, for Heeseung, it comes down to his team manipulating him into thinking otherwise. Heeseung also mentioned doing it in the company's suggestion, further reinforcing the idea of how the management team were not supporting him, pressuring him into choosing one or the other—
Which makes no damn sense. Even if he did choose their "suggestion", it still implies he was given an ultimatum and no choice. He was forced into a corner. Which is a problem that fans have.
Someone on tiktok also mentioned that it could be a contractual issue and it physically does not allow Heeseung to make solo music.
But that doesn't link to why he did this so ABRUPTLY. He could've left after Melbourne, after fan calls, and in a more softer way too. This was a smack in the face.
This clearly wasn't planned. It's messy. It's vague. And it has kept the fandom in the dark. Causing this explosive mania in the media. If Belift want us to truly support Heeseung, they would address our questions. Heck, get Heeseung and the members to reiterate that they should support this because it IS HIS decision.
"What if the dude wanted to go solo?"
Hm well, this again doesn't explain his abrupt exit with all the schedules. Usually, artists are happy about a decision being made. Why should he hide? Yes, maybe he is drained, but it doesn't explain why he can't make another post or why the members can not come in support of him. I will support Hee no matter what, but with the timing and schedules, it seems odd and strange. Also doesn't explain why they would do so in the middle of the week. Not to mention how much he's been emphasising tours only a few weeks ago. We need an explanation.
"You guys are being dramatic."
Well, yeah, sorry to be dramatic, but what the company has done is also dramatic. The energy is just being matched since it came out of nowhere.
"Petitions and protests aren't gonna do anything. What if he doesn't come back anyway."
You're right. It could do nothing. But it could also force an explanation out to fans about WHY Heeseung left so abruptly knowing they had schedules lined up. What was his reason? I need to see the truth bc i genuinely hate being left in this ambiguity of what is going on rn. Most of the people saying this genuinely are not part of the fandom and don't understand the sudden mania. These Petitions actually show the label how POORLY this was handled because of the confusing timing and how his actions have confused everyone. In fact, these Petitions could show how they need to be transparent in order to calm the masses down and clarify.
"He's probably sick of the mistreatment."
Yeah, sure. But then, it doesn't explain why he would stay under the same label when the burdens would just increase. With the members, he could face the burdens together. Going solo under the same label wouldn't do as much justice, I fear. It would be the same amount. Less people. Idk.
"I thought you guys hated Belift and wanted him to be creatively free. Why are you guys not letting him???"
God. The way these people pmo. First of all. He isn't even leaving Belift. He's allegedly going to be a soloist under the same group. Second of all, we are saying all this because HE ISN'T CREATIVELY FREE. Let me explain. He can't be creatively free in a group, and they couldn't be bothered to give support to him, but if he's alone, Belift will let him be creative? It isn't US not letting him be creatively free. Its Belift who is limiting him for no reason, saying that being in a group and doing solo projects is "greedy/putting his ambitions over the group" when in reality, this wouldn't be true. Letting him? Bro, we want him to be creatively free, but it shouldn't require him to leave the group; in this case, we are saying that Belift SHOULD make time for him within the group. To do so outside the group feels like it's isolating him. And if this is what Heeseung truly wanted—to leave for creativity, I still think it says a lot about how the label is restricting the other members, too. Additionally, can they not let Heeseung come on and say this to calm everyone down? Let him be visible. Let him be here for the fans who are panicking. Maybe he doesn't want to, but I think this whole incident is not helping Heeseung if he did decide to do this. So, maybe let him calm the masses? I'm confused as to why he can not stay in a group and be creatively free. That is a question I would like answered, but it wasn't in his sudden departure. Another reason why fans are going crazy.
"You guys are being parasocial. He's not dead."
Lol, what. A lot of things in many people's life gives them a safe corner (lol me), but just bc I'm upset, doesn't mean I'm parasocial. I know this is a man I have never interacted with. Idk what goes on behind the camera, but again, when fans are kept in the dark, they tend to speculate.
Adding to that note, since fans are speculating and such, why haven't the members ADDRESSED IT. I will accept whatever path Heeseung chooses, but this supposed decision has made the members act like he doesn't exist, as if they need to erase him and have left fans confused.
Simple solution. Address the confusion, the questions as I have addressed above (about the timing, cancellations, and the members), and shut the mania down. This silence from the company and members isn't helping anyone at all, especially Heeseung. If they want us to be satisfied with thst decision, let Heeseung speak fr. Let the members voice their support. Right now, it seems stiff and uncertain.
Another note I would like to add is:
DO NOT go onto other groups/producers/makeup artists or whatever and ask them to do something about it. Seriously. I think yall pissed off the producer when he has nothing to do with the company. We are targeting BELIFT and Enhypen. Don't go under TXTs account and spam Heeseung in such a silly way. Also, don't wish this on other groups (except ADP, Tarzan, Super Junior😹😹✌🏼. They deserve to go fr). DO NOT take information from twitter from random people because this is easily spread as misinformation and we don't need crazy theories right now. We need logic. Please be mindful of how you read and comprehend things before blowing it up!!
And another thing: for the other fandoms being so petty. "Well, they said bad things about Jin at the MAMA awards".
Holy shit. If we're gonna talk abt toxic fandoms, let's start with ARMYs because I'm BOTH of these. The utter irony to be petty about being asked to help with the petition is met with such aggression that it genuinely boils my blood. They're not obligated to help, of course, but you don't need to hold that over another fandoms' head when you know damn well it wasn't all of them, and say "I don't care. Why would I help you when yall said xyz? " Genuinely immature asf and chronically online asf.
As I've said. The point of all this isn't to necessarily bring him back for good. It is being done because fans are aware of the strange timing of it being in the middle of the week, that he has said things conflicting with this event, and that it clearly wasn't planned. The point of these Petitions or protests is to demand Belift to let the members be heard and seen together and see their reasoning. And for our questions to be answered. For Heeseung to, at least, be seen one more time. Not to disappear on a whim. This sudden event has left us all confused on why. We just need that answered.
And update: the members posted on weverse one by one. Probably to calm the fans. But I'm lwk still restless and need answers. It's day damn 4 without Heeseung. I'm going crazy.
Anyway, this is just a pinch of my thoughts. And you don't need to take it to heart. It is just my speculations. So yeah. I miss him :( I wish we could hear from him.
SYPNOSIS: heeseung is a great best friend. he’s great to talk to, play games with, and…have sex with?
PAIRING: best friend!heeseung x fem! reader
CONTENT: best friends to lovers trope, hee is a posessive bastard, college au, hardly any fluff, lots of jealousy, smut (MDNI, hee is a soft dom, kissing, p in v, no condom (wrap it up!), cream pie, nipple play, groping, one hickey lol, tell me if i forgot anything)
there’s no doubt that heeseung and you are best friends.
everyone who knows heeseung, knows you. and everyone who knows you, knows heeseung. you two are a packaged duo that can’t be separated.
you met heeseung back in middle school and instantly bonded over video games. there wasn’t a day that passed where your phone wasn’t blowing up with texts from heeseung demanding you to get online.
you both would play together hours and talk about the most random things. it was a great comfort.
when you two got older and entered highschool, he was officially your best friend. you two would always be together. you’d skip classes together, spend lunch break together, and walk home together.
all was great.
until you both started college.
luckily, you both picked the same college to pursue your dreams. but heeseung had changed a bit since you guys left highschool.
he was still a great friend, of course.
he was always there for you, made you feel important, and never disappointed you.
but he grew very possessive.
whenever you would talk to a guy alone, heeseung would spawn out of nowhere, immediately grabbing onto your waist and glaring at the guy. every single guy would give you a weird look before leaving.
he didn’t like sharing you, that much was clear.
and you didn’t mind that. not at all. in fact, you enjoyed it. because it made you feel special, worthy, his.
it was a regular day. you were at your dorm, waiting for heeseung to come over to play video games. you fluff up the pillows in your bed, fix the warm blankets, and grab all the snacks he likes.
two firm knocks echoed throughout your small dorm, and you speed walk over, containing your excitment.
you open the door and there stands heeseung, holding a bag of snacks. how sweet of him.
“hey, come in!” you smile, moving aside to let him in.
“thanks,” heeseung grins as he takes off his shoes and plops down on your bed. you lock the door and come sit beside him.
“you didn’t have to get snacks, i had some,” you sigh and heeseung simply shrugs in response.
“i’m just too great a friend, aren’t i?” he stretches his arms out and you smack his chest, earning a groan from him.
“shut up. now come on, let’s play!” you give him a controller and sit up straight, his actions mirroring yours. you both loved playing different games together. and today, you both were going to play call of duty.
it took you guys a few hours, lots of laughter, insults, and shoves. until you both put down your controllers.
“fuck, i’m tired,” heeseung exhales, leaning back in the pillows and holding your teddy bear close. the one he gave to you on your birthday a few years ago. it was big, white, and soft.
“me too,” you yawn, laying down. heeseung glances over at you when your phone vibrates.
“who’s that?” he asks with furrowed eyebrows, already reaching for your phone before you even attempt to. it was natural at this point, for him to check your messages for you. it was something you did for him, too.
you close your eyes, yawning once more, “who is it?”
“what the fuck? why's…why’s jay texting you?” growls heeseung, shutting your phone off and throwing it on the bed. he clutches the teddy tighter.
your eyes open and you look at him “what’d he say?”
“he said he had fun last night, what the hell did you two do?” heeseungs eyes narrow, and he sits up, making you do so too.
“what’s it to you?” you give him a pointed look; he was always jealous, but this was too much. way too much.
“what’s it to me?” heeseung laughs bitterly. he leans in closer to you, “are you two fucking?”
“what! no-“
“then what?” he interrupts you, his expression furious. he tosses the teddy to the other side of the bed.
“we just…kissed. that’s all,” you murmur, looking down at your lap.
heeseung clenches his jaw and stays silent for a few moments. you wait impatiently for him to speak.
“you guys kissed.”
“yes, and what’s it to you?”
“i wanna be the only one fucking kissing you, y/n!” heeseung snaps, his arms thrown up in the air. you blink once, then twice. and you finally process what he just said.
“wait, what…” you trail off, watching as he scoots closer and closer to you on your tiny bed, until your noses are touching.
“you know what i said,” his breath is warm against your face. he gently moves a strand of hair behind your ear. “come on, let me kiss you. i’m great at kissing, much better than fucking jay.”
you hesitate, but the hungry look in his eyes makes you give in. you lean in just a bit, and his lips are on yours. you gasp in surprise as his hands fly down to your waist, gripping hard enough to leave marks. your shaky hands gently touch his face, angling his head towards yours.
his tongue meets your bottom lip, probing you to open your mouth. you let out a small gasp when his tongue battles yours, a delightful feeling of warmth making heat pool in your stomach.
“heeseung, w-wait,” you whisper, pulling back, your hands on your thighs. his eyes fly open and he gives you an expectant look, big hands still planted at your waist. you bite your lip, feeling shy all of a sudden.
“i won’t…fuck you unless you want me to, baby,” heeseung says quietly, his voice gravelly. the endearment makes your heart race, and you shake your head instantly.
“i…i want you to,” you hitch, and his lips are on yours again. this time, his hands are roaming your back. your fingers thread through his hair, cherishing the silkiness.
heeseung gently pushes you down until you’re laying flat on your back with him hovering over you. he stops kissing you to just stare at you. your face. your cute fucking face.
“you know if we do this, things won’t be the same, yeah?” heeseung murmurs, his fingers tracing circles on your stomach under your shirt. you nod, and that’s enough for him.
he begins to kiss your neck, making your back arch. it was heaven. he lightly sucks at the junction where your neck meets your shoulder, forming a hickey. you freeze.
“did you just-“
“shh, don’t worry,” he whispers against your neck, shutting you up with a filthy kiss. you kiss him back, your eyes fluttering shut as a strong hand os his holds both of your wrists above your head.
“heeseung, this feels…”
“…good? i know. can i take your shirt off?” he murmurs against your lips and you nod. he lets go of your wrists, and with trembling fingers, he pulls your shirt off you. he leans back to look at you before placing soft, delicate kisses near your cleavage.
“heeseung…” you moan softly and he grins wickedly. his fingers reach behind your back, finding the clasp of your bra and unhooking it slowly. he removes your bra and stares, like really stares at your tits.
“fuck. that’s hot,” he mutters before he’s sucking on your left nipple. you gasp, your hands flying to tug on his hair once more. he uses one hand to squeeze your free breast, and the other to roam your stomach.
“heeseung,” you whine softly as he sucks hard enough to make your nipple sore. he lets go with a pop, and takes off his own shirt.
“touch me, don’t be shy,” heeseung chuckles, watching as your hands touch his chest. your fingers trail down to his happy trail, catching him by surprise as you grope his hard on through his pants.
“fuckkkk,” heeseung groans, his head falling back slightly as you palm him. he grabs your wrist and shakes his head. “not yet, baby. you can’t do that to me yet.”
you giggle in response, and he smiles softly, his hands running up and down your sides. “i wanna see you, baby, i can’t wait,” he says, and licks his lips, watching as you lift your hips. he removes your pants and underwear in one go, leaving you completely naked.
he stares for a few seconds before taking off his belt, along with his jeans and boxers. your gaze is immediately drawn to his dick. he was huge. his tip was red and angry, precum dripping down.
“oh. wow,” you say in awe and heeseung laughs in return.
“let’s see if you’re wet enough, yeah?” before you can even respond, your legs are being spread, and heeseungs fingers come to slide against your folds. you moan softly, your legs closing instinctively. wet slick gathers on his fingers and he hums, “definitely wet enough,” he winks, sucking his fingers dry.
heeseung settles himself so his dick is lined with your entrance. you hold onto the sheets underneath you, taking deep breaths. this was happening. it was really happening. you were going to have sex with your best friend.
“you good, baby?” comes heeseungs concerned voice, stroking your cheek gently. you nod in response, a genuine smile forming on your lips. he was so considerate, even in a heated moment like this.
“i’m okay. just be gentle, please?” you whisper with hopeful eyes and his eyes soften. his other hand comes to cup your other cheek, squeezing gently.
“of course, y/n. i never wanna hurt you. if it hurts, you tell me, yeah?”
“yeah.”
heeseung smiles and gives your ass a firm slap before gently pushing himself in. he goes in slowly but consistently until he’s filling you up. it felt fucking incredible.
“holy shit,” you both say in unison, causing small giggles to escape both your lips.
“you feel…fuck,” heeseung groans as he presses his forehead against yours. “you have…you have no goddamn idea how long i’ve wanted this,” he confesses.
“me too,” you moan as he begins to thrust at a slow but steady pace. your hands fly to his back, holding onto him.
“just like that, baby, yeah,” he moans in your ear as he picks up the pace. your nails dig in his back, and you moan back.
“fuck, oh my,” you whimper when he hooks your thighs around his waist, making him be able to go deeper inside you.
“say my name, y/n, come on,” heeseung grunts in your ear, his hands cupping your ass cheeks and squeezing every now and then to keep himself grounded.
“heeseung, fuck!” you cry out, feeling the intense pleasure build more and more.
“you’re such a good girl, aren't you? hold on for me, baby,” heeseung burries his face in the crook of your neck, and you let out a shuddering breath. he squeezes your breasts, and you feel like you’re seeing stars.
“heeseung, i'm gonna cum,” you warn him breathlessly, and he grunts in response.
“then cum for me, y/n. i got you.” heeseung squeezes your breasts firmly, his thumbs rubbing over your nipples before letting go.
you cum, a silent moan escaping your lips at the release, and he follows soon after, his hot load seeping into you. he keeps his face buried in your neck, and your hands find their way to his hair, gently scratching the back of his head. you both remain in silence for at least a minute, just hearing each others heart race. acknowledging what just happened between you two, and how it made you both feel.
“that was so good, hee,” you whisper and he lifts his head, sweat crowning his forehead.
“i told you…i’m great at kissing.”
“this was a lot more than kissing, though?” your eyebrows furrow in confusion, your fingers now gently rubbing his cheeks. heeseung smirks in response, interlacing both your hands with his.
“yeah, that’s the point. i’m great at kissing, but what i didn't tell you is that i’m amazing at fucking.”
✉️ ni-ki x f!r ( ≧ᗜ≦ ) fluff ───── ❗️ reallyyy soft, gentle pining 💭 heyaa!! I'm new to tumblr, so please don't expect this to be perfect 🙏🙏🙏
reb𝑙ogs & 𝑓eedbacks
You were lying on the grass, summer pressed against your skin in golden waves, the hum of cicadas fading into the background. Beside you, Ni-ki had one arm behind his head and the other fiddling with the cap of a peach soda bottle.
The two of you weren’t saying much. You didn’t need to.
The sky above looked like it had been painted in pastels—pink brushing into soft blue, the clouds lazily drifting like they had nowhere to be. Ni-ki turned his head toward you, brown eyes soft and a little sleepy from the sun.
“Hey,” he said suddenly. “Do you think people’s eyes can look like fruit?”
You blinked, squinting at him. “Huh?”
“Like…” he paused, clearly trying not to laugh at himself. “Your eyes. They’re like peaches.”
You choked. “What, Ni-ki, what does that even mean?”
“I dunno,” he shrugged, now definitely laughing. “They’re warm. Soft. Sweet.”
You stared at him, cheeks heating faster than the sun could manage. “That was the worst compliment I’ve ever received.”
He sat up, still grinning. “But it made you smile.”
You hated that he was right. You were trying so hard not to. You sat up too, brushing grass off your skirt, trying to look anywhere but at him.
He offered you the peach soda. “Here. It reminded me of you. So I brought it.”
You took it, eyebrows raised. “You’re weird.”
“And yet,” he teased, tapping the edge of the bottle with his finger, “you always end up next to me.”
You looked down at the soda in your hands. It was chilled, still sweating a little from the cooler he always dragged around for days like this. You liked that he remembered what flavor you liked. You liked that he remembered everything.
“You think everyone sees the world like this?” you asked, still staring at the sky. “Lying in the grass, drinking peach soda, wasting time with someone who makes everything feel... slower?”
Ni-ki tilted his head. “Not everyone. But we do.”
You glanced at him. He was looking at you in that way again. The way that made you forget what day it was. The way that made you feel like your whole life was building up to this tiny, quiet moment.
Without saying a word, you leaned your head onto his shoulder. His free hand found yours.
No fireworks. No big gestures. Just warmth. His hand in yours. The soft fizz of soda. The kind of silence that only exists between people who really, really like each other.
And under the peach-colored sky, Ni-ki whispered, almost to himself,
you learn that love isn’t always enough and can’t save everything.
❛ content 3.7k words, royalty!au, knight!male reader, prince!sunghoon, impossible love, they are nawt happy, sunghoon is kind of cold at first, reader call sunghoon 'my prince' & 'my love', angst, making out, slightly suggestive, cursing.
❛ note omg this is the first time i’ve written something like this, but i poured a lot of effort into making the emotions and situations believable, so i really hope it resonates with you!
the flickering candlelight cast long shadows against the cold stone walls of the prince’s private chamber, but the room felt suffocating in a way that no shadow could ever explain.
you knelt in front of sunghoon, your back straight because that's what a knight should look like, but your shoulders hunched because you didn't know how to hold the weight of what you were about to tell him.
“your highness…” you began, your voice a quiet rasp, carefully controlled but laced with something raw — something barely contained. “i'll get rid of her for you.”
the words spilled out, desperate, earnest, and dangerous. you knew they were too bold, too reckless, but in this moment, there was nothing more important than removing the threat looming over him.
you didn't even realize how tightly your hands were balled into fists until you felt your nails digging into your palms. you looked up at him, searching his face for something, anything — but all you got back was that unreadable expression he always wore.
the one that made him feel like he was miles away even when he was right in front of you.
for a moment, the only sound in the room was your breathing, uneven and shaky. sunghoon didn't say a word. his gloved hand hovered near yours, but he didn't touch you.
that, more than anything, made your chest ache.
you couldn't stop yourself. you reached out, your fingers, calloused from years of service and battle, were gentle as they clasped his hand, your touch as tender as ever — so gentle it almost felt wrong — though the rest of you screamed with the weight of your emotions.
you had never dared to show this side of yourself, this rawness. you had always been the strong knight, unwavering, a protector of the prince, of the crown. but now, in this desperate hour, your loyalty, your love, your sacrifice, spilled out in front of him, uncontrollable.
“my prince— my love,” you tried again, your voice breaking on the words, and you hated how small you sounded, how vulnerable.
but there was no hiding from him. not now.
"please. i'll do it. i don't care what it costs me. i would rot in prison if you asked me to. i would go to the ends of the earth, beyond the gates of hell, if it meant keeping you safe. keeping you away from her."
you didn't mean to say that last part, but it slipped out anyway, and now it was just hanging in the air between you, like an accusation. like a confession.
you expected him to get angry. to pull away completely. but instead, something in his eyes shifted.
for the briefest second, his guard dropped, and you saw it — saw him. the sunghoon you'd fallen for, the one who smiled at you like you were his whole world when no one else was watching. the one who kissed you like it hurt to let go.
but it was gone as fast as it came, replaced by that same cold, unreachable mask he always wore. he pulled his hand back sharply, and the ache in your chest turned into something sharper, something that made it hard to breathe.
“you don’t know what you’re saying,” he said finally, his voice tight, controlled.
but you knew better. you knew that the mask he wore was thin, fragile. it wasn’t anger that clouded his features. it was despair.
“i never asked you to do this. not for me. not for anyone. i never wanted you to.”
you didn’t flinch, even though his words cut deeper than he could have known. you couldn’t afford to.
"you don't have to ask," you shot back, and this time your voice didn't shake. you were done pretending. "i'd do anything for you, my prince. you know that."
you wasnt stupid. you were well aware of your place in the world — you always had.
you were a nobody, an orphan, a lost soul abandoned by everyone who had to claw his way out of the streets just to survive. you'd lost everything before you even knew what it meant to have something to lose. you didn't even deserve to be in this room with him.
but sunghoon had chosen you.
he found you in the rain, a chance encounter that had changed the course of your life forever. he had seen something in you that no one else ever had. he had brought you into the fold, given you purpose, given you a future — though you had never dared to imagine what that future might hold.
and somewhere along the way, you'd given him everything in return.
without question, without hesitation.
you had become his knight, his loyal protector, but more than that — his secret lover, when no one else was watching. you had given your body, your heart, your soul to him, knowing full well that it could never be enough.
sunghoon was the prince. his future, his throne, his empire, everything came before you, before your love. and you had accepted that, as painful as it was.
but now, this woman — olivia, the woman sunghoon had been promised to, was the final blow. she wasn’t worthy of him. she couldn’t love him the way you did. she didn't even deserve to be near him.
her every action, her every smile, was a mockery of everything sunghoon stood for. and you, as his knight, as his lover, couldn’t stand to see him bound to someone who would tarnish his name. someone who would drag him into the mud.
“that woman will drag you down with her,” you said, and the words came out harder than you meant them to, but you didn't care.
your hands was still clasping his as if you could somehow hold onto him, keep him from slipping away.
“she frequents brothels. she has not an ounce of loyalty in her. she would make you appear incompetent in the eyes of your people. your enemies would see it, and they will use it against you. she'll destroy everything you've worked for.”
you could see his jaw tighten, his fingers flexing slightly, as if resisting the urge to throw something, to lash out. the room felt heavier with each passing second.
but he didn't say anything. not yet.
“i’ve had her followed,” you continued, your tone fierce now, fueled by the rage and protectiveness you couldn’t mask. “i know what she’s been doing, where she's been going. and i can’t— no, i won’t let her ruin you.”
sunghoon’s breath quickened, his chest rising and falling with each labored inhale.
his entire body had stiffened, the tension radiating from him like a tightly wound cord threatening to snap. you could see the storm brewing behind his eyes — the conflict, the weight of everything he carried on his shoulders.
because deep down, he knew you were right.
you had seen things. heard things. you had watched olivia, followed her every move. olivia was poison. she had seduced every man in her path, her charms a weapon she wielded without mercy.
and her engagement to sunghoon wasn't love — it was a calculated political arrangement. a tool to strengthen the empire, to solidify alliances.
but at what cost? his heart? his future? the very essence of who he was?
sunghoon finally met your eyes, and there was no hiding the conflict swirling within them.
he opened his mouth as if to speak, but the words never came. instead, silence fell between you, heavy and oppressive, as though the weight of his situation was too much for him to put into words.
his father, the emperor, had fallen ill, leaving sunghoon to take the throne far earlier than he had ever expected, far earlier than he was ready. his younger sister had been sent away to marry the tyrant of a neighboring empire, leaving sunghoon to stand alone amidst the chaos.
alone with all with all the expectations and burdens of the empire on his shoulders.
your chest tightened as you watched him, your heart aching with a love so deep and consuming it made your breath catch. you wanted to reach for him, to hold him, to take some of that weight from his shoulders and carry it yourself.
"you deserve someone better, my love," you said quietly, your voice breaking with the emotion you had kept buried for so long. "someone who will stand by you, someone who will love you. not this woman."
at first, sunghoon didn't respond. his eyes narrowed slightly, his gaze growing colder. but it wasn’t aimed at you. it was directed inward.
you could see it, the bitterness and frustration that had been simmering inside him for weeks, for months, for years. it bubbled to the surface now, spilling over in a way he could no longer control.
"i never wanted this," he whispered, his voice so quiet it was almost swallowed by the silence of the room.
the words weren't for you, not really — they were more for himself, a confession dragged from the deepest parts of his soul.
"i never asked for this. i never asked to be emperor. i never wanted to marry her. but my parents, my duty..." his voice cracked, his fists clenching. "they've left me with no choice."
the rawness of his admission struck you like a blow, but you swallowed the ache rising in your throat. this was the ugly truth you had always known, the truth you had seen in the quiet moments when he thought no one was watching.
sunghoon was a man trapped in a cage of his own making, bound by a life that demanded everything from him but gave him nothing in return.
“i would kill anyone who stands in the way of your happiness,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper now, raw with sincerity. “if that’s what it takes… i will do it without hesitation.”
sunghoon didn't say anything. he just stared at you for a long moment, his expression unreadable, but you could see the conflict in his eyes. the way his walls were crumbling, piece by piece.
and then, with a sharp, decisive movement, he broke.
before you could process what was happening, his hands were on you, pulling you up to him with a force that stole the breath from your lungs.
his lips crashed against yours, desperate and hungry, as though kissing you was the only way he could keep himself from falling apart completely.
it was sudden. it was urgent. it was desperate.
it was everything you had been holding back for so long, all at once.
his kiss slammed into you with a force that left you breathless, a bruising, consuming need that neither of you could suppress anymore. you felt it deep in your bones, the way his lips moved against yours with a hunger that bordered on fear — as if he was afraid that if he didn't kiss you now, he'd lose you forever.
you didn't hold back. you couldn't. your hands gripped at his waist, pulling him closer, trying to erase the space between you as if it was the enemy. your fingers curled into the fabric of his coat, desperate to ground yourself in the heat of him, the reality of this moment.
his lips tasted like fire, like the only answer to every prayer you had ever whispered in the dark. and his hands, god, his hands, they clutched at you with the same frantic energy, like you were the one thing keeping him from shattering into pieces.
your fingers traced the sharp lines of his jaw, sliding down to the curve of his neck. every inch of him was warm under your touch, and you were desperate to memorize the feel of him, the way he trembled under your hands.
sunghoon's breathing hitched against your lips, and it only spurred you on. you deepened the kiss, tilting your head, pulling him further into the storm that the two of you had created. his body shuddered against yours, and you knew it wasn't just from the intensity of the kiss — it was the weight of everything unsaid between you. everything that was about to break between you.
but in this moment, none of that mattered.
the kiss spiraled into something more urgent, more primal. you felt all the years of silence, of restraint, breaking apart with each desperate touch. his lips were soft but demanding, moving against yours with a frantic hunger that you had never seen before.
his tongue traced the edges of your mouth, sending a rush of heat through your veins that left you lightheaded. you couldn't get enough of him — his scent, his warmth, the way his hands slid up to your shoulders and clung to you like you were the only thing anchoring him to this damn world.
it wasn't enough. it would never be enough.
you felt the sting of his nails digging into your shoulders through the fabric of your uniform, but it didn't matter. the pain only made everything sharper, clearer. you wanted all of him, every jagged piece of the man who had captured your heart so completely, no matter how much it hurt.
but then, just as suddenly as it had begun, it stopped.
sunghoon pulled back, his breath coming in short, uneven gasps. his lips were swollen and red, his eyes wide and glistening, as if he was trying to process what had just happened. he looked wrecked, like the weight of the kiss — the weight of what you both felt — was too much for him to bear.
and you hated how cold the room felt now, the warmth of his body already fading as the space between you returned.
you didn't let go of him. fuck, you couldn't. your hands were still trembling as they rested against his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart beneath your palms. it was wild and erratic, matching your own, but even that wasn't enough to soothe the ache building in your chest.
"sunghoon, my love..." you whispered, your voice barely audible.
but the sound of his name coming from your lips made his eyes dart to yours. there was fear there. fear, frustration and something that looked like regret.
“you— you don’t know what you’re asking of me,” he muttered, his voice tight and strained.
his gaze darted away, his hands falling from your shoulders as though the contact was too much to bear.
“you want me to abandon everything. everything i've ever known. everything i was born to do. everything i've ever been. i can’t… i can’t do that, y/n.”
the words hit you like a knife to the chest, and you felt your throat tighten. you could feel the truth, the brutal reality, beginning to claw its way back into the space between you. sunghoon was trapped. as much as he loved you, as much as he wanted to be with you, he was bound to the empire.
you had known this would happen. you had always known it would come to this, but hearing it from him, hearing the defeat in his voice, the finality of it, was way more than you could handle.
"i can’t lose you," you said, your voice trembling. "you know i would give up everything for you. i would leave this place, leave the kingdom, everything, just to be with you. please. we could escape. we could run away and live a life just for the two of us. i don't care about the empire, about the politics, or about your engagement. i only care about you. about us."
for a moment, his mask slipped. his face flickered with an emotion so fleeting, you almost thought you had imagined it — it was a spark of something that looked like hope.
and then, for the briefest heartbeat, you saw him.
the man beneath the title. the sunghoon who had laughed with you under the stars, fought beside you on countless battles, kissed you in the quiet shadows where no one could see. you saw the sunghoon who had stolen your heart and, in return, made you believe in something greater than yourself.
but the moment didn't last.
sunghoon stepped back, retreating into himself, his expression hardening into the stoic mask of the prince he was trained to be. the weight of his crown, of his kingdom, settled back on his shoulders. he was no longer the man you loved.
he was the heir — bound by duty, by legacy, by chains you couldn't see but could feel pressing between you.
“you think i don’t dream about that?” sunghoon's voice cracked, his frustration spilling through the cracks in his composure.
his fists clenched at his sides, his knuckles turning white as he struggled to hold himself together. his eyes bore into yours, searching for an answer, but there was nothing you could give him. nothing either of you could say would change the truth between you.
“you think i don’t want to run away with you? to leave all of this behind? i’ve dreamed about it every day since i met you. every fucking day. but i can’t. i can’t just abandon everything that’s been entrusted to me. i can't abandon my duty, my family, my people. they're counting on me. i can't be selfish, not even for you.”
his words cut through you like a blade.
you wanted to scream, to beg him to stop, to tell him that he was allowed to be selfish, that he was allowed to choose happiness.
but you couldn't. instead, you stepped closer, your heart breaking as you reached for him, your voice trembling as you tried one last time to reach the man you knew still lived beneath the surface.
“you don’t have to carry it alone. let me carry it with you. let me be the one who stands by your side, always. please, you don't have to do this on your own.”
for a moment, he faltered. his shoulders sagged, and his gaze fell to the floor. the weight of what you were asking settled over him, and you could see the war raging inside him — the push and pull of duty and love, of obligation and desire. and for just a moment, you thought he might give in.
but when he lifted his head again, his eyes were filled with a sadness so deep, so consuming, it left you out of breath.
"if i run away with you..." his voice was strained, barely audible, but you could hear the pain in each word. "i would be nothing. a fugitive, a traitor to my people, to my family. and you... you would be too."
his eyes flickered up to meet yours, and the anguish there made your breath catch.
"you deserve more than that, y/n. you deserve to be free. you deserve someone who can give you everything without holding anything back."
your head shook before you even realized it, tears stinging your eyes as you took another step closer. the space between you still felt too vast, too unbearable.
"i don't care about the empire, sunghoon," you said, your voice breaking as your hands cupped his face. you needed him to hear you, to understand. "i care about you. i always have."
he closed his eyes at your touch, his features twisting in a way that made your heart clench painfully. a shudder ran through his body, and for a fleeting moment, you thought he might finally let go. that he might finally let himself choose you.
but when his eyes opened again, they were filled with a deep sadness — a sadness that had always lingered beneath the surface, but now it consumed him fully.
“i love you,” he whispered, the words barely audible, as though saying them any louder might destroy him completely. “i love you more than anything. but i can’t leave this kingdom. i can’t abandon my father, my people, my duty.”
the finality of his words slammed into you like a physical blow. your chest tightened, your lungs straining to take in air as the truth settled heavily around you. there was no more room for hope, no more room for the dreams of a future you had once dared to imagine.
it was over.
the empire had claimed him.
and you… well, you had always known that you would be the one left behind, hadn't you?
the silence between you stretched out, unbearable. you felt your hands fall from his face, trembling as they rested uselessly at your sides. your heart ached with the kind of pain you didn't think you'd ever recover from, but you knew you couldn't fight anymore.
you had given him everything — your loyalty, your love, your very soul — and now you had nothing left to give. now he was slipping through your fingers like sand.
“i can’t ask you to choose, sunghoon,” you whispered, your voice raw and broken. “but i can’t stay in a kingdom that has no place for me. not when it means losing you.”
his eyes met yours, his face a mask of conflicted emotions that only made the ache in your chest worse. his lips parted slightly, as though he wanted to say something, anything, to stop you, to make this all go away. but no words came.
and you knew, deep down, that there was nothing he could say.
with a shaking breath, you took a step back, letting your hands fall to your sides. the coldness in the air felt like a physical blow, and you felt as though you were standing at the edge of a cliff, the ground crumbling beneath your feet.
“goodbye, my love,” you said softly, your voice trembling but steady enough to carry the weight of your heartache. “i’ll always love you. always.”
his eyes widened, panic flashing in them like a warning flare. but you didn’t wait for him to respond. you turned away, your heart shattering with every step you took away from him.
the door to his chambers opened with a low creak, and you stepped out into the dimly lit hallway, your feet carrying you farther and farther away from the only person who had ever truly mattered to you.
he didn’t chase after you. he didn’t call your name.
SUMMARY: A frosty winter night. You and Jake are lighting sparklers together at a New Year party — chatting and teasing — it's quiet and comfortable when it's just the two of you. But good things never last.
GENRE: Angst, sfw ;WORD COUNT: 641
Author's note: I was going for a feeling with this short fic ^^ I wanted to try capture the essence of a cold night ❆
"It's pretty..." you watch intently as the sparkler comes to life in his hands.
He smiles, puffs of mist drawing from each steady breaths. The light is painted across his face in unsteady flickers, allowing fragments of his skin a golden hue. His rough jawline is unstrained despite the biting cold, his expression tranquil.
Your body eases, allowing yourself this moment of oblivion.
Clouds loom above the frosted pavilion, burdening the winter sky.
You examine his face, swimming in his defined features. The flame reflects deep in his eyes, drowned away once his heavy gaze lays upon yours.
"What are you waiting for?" He questions, his eyes now filled with mirth.
Your breaths are shallow, each inhalation burning your lungs. Your nose is raw, fingers clammy beneath grey mittens. He gently brings the sparkler closer, prompting you with a soft tone.
"I'm... scared to get burnt," you quietly confess. The metal rod hesitiates under his grip, you watch it spark between your bodies.
Jake is the first to break the silence, "It may look scary, but it cant hurt you."
"What if it does?" Your voice falters, carried away by the wind. You swallow sharply, not meeting his gaze.
"I'll put it out before it ever reaches your fingertips..." His voice is a breathy whisper, bear hands clutch yours, slipping the metal rod between your fingerless gloves. His hands are textured and calloused, small cracks pattern his knuckles and between his fingers, frostbite. He pulls away, and with it dissipates a familiar warmth.
A bell sounds and your eyes fly open along with loud cheers. The mood is lightened by Jake's laughter at your startled expression, "Did you forget what occasion it is?" He teases as the countdown begins. You look down to the sparkler embarrassed, twirling it between your finger, now used to the feel of the flame within your grasp. Jake was right, something that once appeared dangerous can actually be harmless, and quite beautiful. You feel Jakes gaze linger over you, but the moment is interupted once his head tilts away. The clock strikes twelve and a bell tangs announcing midnight. "Happy new year everyone!!" The crowd cheers.
You turn to Jake at the sound of his light chuckle, assuming he was watching the people gathered, but his head is tilted up as he peers into the sky.
His teeth are gritted, a distorted smile soaked in regret. Then it's gone, concealed in a heartbeat. Your brows furrow, doubting what you had seen — a pained expression never spoken of — your lips part to speak his name but he's already facing you.
His eyes filled by your reflection.
One swift movement is all it takes for his hand to be under your chin, drawing you near. Your eyes widen and time itself seems to hold it's breath — he raises your beanie ever so slightly the feel of his heated breath against your skin.
A soft kiss is placed upon your forehead.
Its warm, sweet, the heat permeates your skin, extending throughout your body— Melting your heart.
Then it's over.
You let out a short gasp as he breaks away. "Where are you going?" You try to ask, "Jake...?" No response. His back is turned, his feet are moving. Away from you.
Down the icy steps, along the frosty grass. He vanishes between the shoulders of smiling faces.
...
"Ouch-"
You instinctively drop the sparkler, a blunt tap of thin rod on the icy concrete. You rub at your fingers, removing your gloves.
Your vision blurs beneath wet eyes.
He isn't coming back.
And all that's left is the fading traces of his gentle kiss.
