Second treatment: done.
I requested they do it over 90 minutes again like the first time. (Usually, subsequent treatments are 30 minutes.) I’m trying to throw everything into the hat for symptom management. I’m not sure it does anything but it’s worth a try. Usually slowing IV treatments down can help with immediate side effects (not necessarily delayed ones like mine).
The kiddo met me prior for breakfast. I had pancakes.
I also took her to the bank because she needed a cheque to be deposited.
We even got some other things done like emails, texts and setting appointments that she needed help with.
I feel bad because I just don’t have enough time with her and so many things are put on the back burner. Her current support worker finally just stepped up to cover more hours while waiting for her second support worker (who went on a LOA over 6 weeks ago), is away. Luckily, she’ll be returning in about 3 weeks.
The kid will be coming out on Wednesday to stay with me for a week. If this treatment goes like anything like last time, Wednesday will be my most horrible day. The kid said she will come and be by my side, clean and do whatever I need her to do. I know this is not only the case as she’s autistic and can be very challenging to communicate with sometimes, but I believe her heart and intention is 100% in the most compassionate place. So I’ll act with grace and gratitude and see how this goes. I’m not always the nicest person when I’m sick as a dog, writhing in pain so this will be a huge test for me as well. I’m staying hopeful that all goes well - especially with my dose reduction and new medications.
Anyway, I woke up with my hair a bit on the scruffy side. I contemplated a haircut for about 4 seconds. 😂
Tomorrow is my last 2 volunteer health coaching calls. I thought they were last week but I recalculated and was wrong. They both had 1 more. So, I will be wrapping those up. They’re both very lovely people and I’m not complaining in the slightest, but I do need some time off. I hope to return in September, pending my health stuff. If I’m still not stable, I’ll make the decision to “retire” at that point.
There are so many things I miss doing that I hope to get back to. The 2 biggest ones being comedy and running.
I’ve faced the fact that running is an absolute long-shot BUT stranger things have happened. All I need is about 6 months (give or take) of my hip bones healing rather than going the other way. It could happen. It could not. Time will tell. For now, I’m trying to still walk as much as I can when my body allows. Walking is awesome for health. No shade to the walk - but f*ck, man… it’s just not the same. lol.
As for comedy, I have a few barriers with that.
1.) 95% of comedy shows are in the evenings and that’s really tough on me.
2.) Most comedy shows are on the mainland. It’s hard for me to travel there and takes even more energy out of me.
3.) The comedy program I’m part of focuses heavily on writing jokes about mental health. That feels a bit shitty at the moment. I’m having a hard time finding the funny in my situation. I know it’s there, but it definitely feels “delicate” right now.
Note: #3 is my biggest barrier. I know if I get through that one, the other 2 will start to feel easier and I’ll feel excitement over dread. I’ll get there. Maybe not right away, but hopefully in the foreseeable future.
Anyway, I’m feeling really tired, spinny and moderately nuts right now. The darn steroid does that to me every time. I’ve already done some dumb little things today without thinking. The biggest one is buying 3 delicious scones and a cream puff at the bakery, today before my infusion. When I got home, I put the beautifully sweet scones in a container to seal and eat at a later date to prevent them from going stale. However, I was going to eat the cream puff. I was looking so forward to that damn cream puff. But what did I do? I crushed up the slimy box, threw it in the garbage. I noticed the garbage was pretty full so I tied it up and put it outside in the garbage can. Then I came back in. Where is my cream puff? F*ck. Fuckity. F*ck. F*ck. I threw it out. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. Sad. Sad. Sad.
So I ate a scone, instead. Wasn’t the same. 😂 Boo.
Anyway, time to take some Ativan to combat these steroid jitters. Then finishing my audiobook.
If you got this far reading, Thankyou so much for continuing to follow along my story. I hope you have a lovely weekend. 💕
PS: I’ve put together a “walking playlist” below - all Canadian 🇨🇦 music + all artists I’ve seen live at some point (some multiple times). Not ranked in any particular order. Except for Nickelback. They go to the bottom. 😂 (I saw them just once because they opened at the Juno Awards in 2009.) I’ve seen many more bands but Tumblr only lets you tag 10 songs so there may be more playlists in the future. 😉
