Jul 17
#bleh#tadc#vent art#Jax#Zooble#Transfem Jax#trans jax#okay now to ramble about the personal stuff that made me even draw this to begin neith#with*#ahem first of all I’d just like to say.#fuck.#after that. just hhdhfjdhd I know people#the closest person to me in my whole entire life. the person who has been there been with me quite literally since the womb#is trans#and. despite being raised exactly the same as me. and being the same age and the exact same environment#they are so fucking calm about it. they don’t seem to be at all at odds with who he is. she seems to be perfectly content with where they’r#at. and it’s so fucking brutal#to have someone#with the literal EXACT. SAME. upbringing as me. in the EXACT SAME position as I am right now. be so open with who they are.#it leads me to think this has to be something else with me because im not sure about it like everyone else I know is. everybody I know are#all so fucking confident in their identities and are so loud and proud to be themselves and it makes me.#ughfjfffmfjdhhffkmfdms#im so jiscerslly jealous of them. I am so sickeningly jealous of how confident all my friends are but especially my own twin#ugh. idk I make myself feel sick every time I think about it#it just feels so unfair I guess? because at least with all of my friends im like. okay. we were raised differently and are in very differen#environments and stuff#so it would be silly to assume our experiences with this stuff would be the same. but I have no fucking excuse when it’s my own goddamn twi#ifhdkgdhdj anyways. onto the not as personal stuff. these two’s dynamic intruiges me a lot. the most repressed trans woman vs the most open#queer and transgender person ever. I’d imagine that zooble’s first week or so being there was rough for Jax.. probably made ignoring her.#um. issues. a lot more annoying and difficult with this new very accepted queer person around. ok i have more to say but im out of tags…