#eoldir

[feddy-34]

haldir calls éomer a horse fucker (pogron roch) when he's pissed

[feddy-34]

this is so éomer and haldir

[xyriath]

Playlist title: I'LL BUILD YOU A BOAT

AHAHA FUCK YOU.

Laughter Lines: Bastille

Into the West: Annie Lennox

I Bet My Life: Imagine Dragons

Still Alive: Lisa Miskovsky

Twenty Seven: MS MR

Rootless: Marina and the Diamonds

And the World Was Gone: Snow Ghosts

Avalanche: Walk the Moon

Heartlines: Florence + the Machine

Your Bones: Of Monsters and Men

[mangopuffs]

Eoldir. 11, 9, or both.

11: Collarbone Kiss/9: Jawline Kiss  

Eomer kisses him again, his beard scraping against Haldir's skin, and Haldir sighs in satisfaction, reaching up to grip Eomer's long hair. 

"You like that," Eomer murmurs, nuzzling against him again, and Haldir tips his head back obligingly, biting back a moan as Eomer trails a line of kisses down his jaw and curving down the side of his neck. 

"There is not much about, ah..." Haldir blinks dazedly when Eomer bites down lightly on his collarbone, "...about you that I...that I do not like."

"A compliment?" Eomer pretends to reel with shock, but Haldir feels his lips curving against the tender skin at the base of his throat. "Impossible."

"Enough," Haldir says, his voice rough, his skin burning where Eomer's lips have touched. "Kiss me again," he demands, and Eomer does.

[xyriath]

I wrote a thing for mangopuffs with our guilty pleasure ship because she drew me zombie apocalypse Connor which she should totally post

Part 1 of idk more than 1

#

Éomer rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands as he stared at the screen hopelessly.  The image of his dead character lay still on the screen, clad in some of the best armor found in the game.

And it hadn't done him a damned bit of good.

"And that's that."  The voice of their guild's best hunter, Marchwarden, crackled to life over the voice chat program.  It always grated on Éomer when he heard it, a British drawl that always somehow seemed to contain implied contempt for whoever its target was.

And as the leader of the failed raid, Éomer couldn't help feeling that it was aimed directly at him.

"I'm up for another try if you all are," piped up Samwise, one of their healers.  "We've almost got this boss down."

"Same!" Éomer could hear Ringbearer, Samwise's roommate (or perhaps "roommate"—Éomer still wasn't sure which) call over the mic.

Éomer sighed.  The two of them were great guys—heck, Samwise even seemed to have named his character after himself, which was almost endearingly adorable—but they had been in the raid for three hours and—

"I'm out," Marchwarden cut in, sounding almost bored.  "I've got work in thirty minutes, and I'm already supposed to be ready."

"I'm done, too."  Strider, their warrior, was less of one, admittedly—Éomer was actually quite fond of him, especially his voice. Not that it was ever possible to tell how attractive someone would be from their voice, but....

"I think we're calling it for today, then."  The raspy smoker's voice belonged to Angmar, their other tank and a paladin.  "Same time next week?"

"We can try later," Éomer prompted. "This weekend, if everyone is free."

There was muttered conversation amongst them until Marchwarden spoke up again. "I have work, as I've mentioned multiple times.  They're calling in a lot of overtime this week."

"Where do you even work?" Angmar asked with a sigh.  "Must be miserable."

Marchwarden snorted.  "Wouldn't you like to know."

"No need to be rude about it," Éomer snapped into his mic, but a bright beeping noise told him that Marchwarden had already left the room.  A moment later, the guild chat flashed that his character had gone offline.

"So, next week again." Éomer concealed the disappointment in his voice, settling instead for confident raid leader. They had done well, of course, but they still had two bosses to go before the final encounter.

The players dispersed, making their way to cities and repairing their armor and going off to do other things.  Éomer scowled as he stared at his character.  A resurrected knight who was a harbinger of ice and destruction and it had spent most of the last two hours facedown on the floor.

The phone rang, and he quickly pushed his headset off, barely managing to untangle it from his hair before it finished ringing.  He quickly pushed the "Answer" button.

"Éowyn.  Hey."

"Oh, thank god.  Are you done with your raid yet?"  Though the words had an edge of desperation, there was still teasing in them.  Éowyn, while she too played the game, had always been one for fighting against other players rather than bosses and monsters.

She also happened to play on the opposite faction as Éomer, which led to some friendly, if aggressive, teasing.

"Yeah."  He didn't elaborate.  Éowyn didn't push.

"I really hate to ask, but I just got called in to work and I have to be there in twenty minutes.  Faramir's on his business trip—"

The pieces clicked into place.  "The doctor?  Mary?"

"Yes, exactly."  Éowyn's daughter, Éomer's niece, had been having significant issues with being underweight in the past couple of years.  "Her appointment is in two hours, but I'll be at the firm..."

"Don't worry about it," Éomer cuts in, unexpected relief choosing through him at the opportunity to leave the house.  "I'll be over there as soon as I can."

—

Mary was as thrilled to see her uncle as Éowyn was relieved, and after a quick kiss on the cheek she was out the door.  Mary of course wanted to play horses, and after a long play session and lunch, they were walking into the doctor's office.  Ten minutes later, and a light call of, "Mary?" had him looking up from his phone.

Into one of the most gorgeous faces he had ever seen.

Though the initial long, white-blonde hair briefly suggested femininity, but any look that was remotely longer quickly dismissed any such notion.  It was a strong, proud face, almost harsh, but extremely attractive, the long, pale hair softening his looks to strike an appealing balance, especially with the way sections of it were drawn away from his temples and tied into a bun to reveal an undercut.

“Unca Ey-mer?”

Mary’s insistent tug on his arm snapped him out of his daze, and he leapt to his feet.  “That’s us.”

He could have sworn that he saw a slight smirk on the nurse’s face as they headed back.

—

Though the nurse—Aldir, Éomer thought he had caught Mary say—focused mostly on Mary, Éomer could have sworn that he shot him a sidelong glance.  And another.  Once, he was positive that that gaze of raised eyebrows had been turned on him, a curious expression on that face.  But Mary occupied most of his attention as he took note of her chattering with a seriousness that Éomer shouldn't have found as charming as he should.  Mary, of course, adored it.

"The doctor will be in to see you soon," Aldir said pleasantly, then glanced at Éomer.  "I haven't seen you here before.  You are...?"

"Uncle," Éomer said quickly, glad that Éowyn had added him to Mary's file a while back.  The man had a lovely British accent, composed and refined in a way that fitted him.

"Uncle…?"

"What—my name is Éomer.  Certainly not your uncle."

"Haldir," the man replied, shooting him a brief smile before leaving the room... and leaving Éomer staring.

—

Éomer paid just enough attention to the doctor that he would be able to relay the message to Éowyn, but he did zero in on one thing: Mary would need to return on Saturday when the test results came in."

"She'll be there," he promised instantly, meaning every word.

And when Éowyn looked slightly pained at the news that she would need to go in Saturday—her firm had requested that she come in that weekend, too—the look of relief on her face when Éomer mentioned off handedly that he would be taking Mary was even more of a bonus.

And, of course, about an hour later, when Mary began crying because she realized she’d left her doll, Éomer was the first to volunteer to retrieve it.

—

He made it there right as the office was closing, and wasn’t sure if he was nervous or excited to see who was currently out in the waiting room.

“Here for yourself?” Haldir murmured, giving Éomer a glance-over and obviously failing to spot Mary.  “We’re closing soon, but if you can make a convincing case…”

“No, not for me,” Éomer clarified hurriedly, barely managing to keep from outright blurting the words.  “I just… Mary left her… doll,” he finished, feeling more than a little silly.  He tried to explain.  “It was a gift from her great uncle.  It means a lot to her.”

Haldir held up one finger—it was a long, finger, though strong-looking, larger than Éomer would have expected.  “One moment.”

He disappeared into the back, leaving Éomer fidgeting.

Luckily, it was only a few moments before he returned, the lost doll in hand.

“Oh, thank you,” Éomer breathed, closing his eyes for a moment in relief.  He reached out to accept it, swallowing as their fingers brushed briefly together.

“She’s lucky,” Haldir mused, watching him.  “To have you for an uncle.  You’re quite devoted.”

“Well, I am her favorite.”  Éomer tries to grin at him, still feeling oddly off-balanced.

“Does your sister not have any other siblings, then?”  Haldir’s jibe was softened by the… somewhat good-natured tone of his teasing.

“And that is none of your business,” Éomer replied loftily with a nonchalant shrug that took quite a bit of conversation to pull off.  “And now, I’ll let you close.”  He turned to go.

“Make sure you keep an eye out for the doll on Saturday,” he heard Haldir call after him.

Éomer tried to tell him that it wasn’t that unusual that Haldir remembered the day of their next appointment.

—

Éomer logged in briefly on Saturday, but he was too distracted to do anything productive, instead sitting around in the main city waiting for something to happen.  He did see Marchwarden’s Night Elf run by a few times—had he changed her hairstyle again?—but it wasn’t long before he saw the notification that he had logged off, as he had mentioned a few days ago.

And then his watch beeped to notify him of Mary’s appointment, and his computer was off before he was even logged out.

Haldir was there again.  And this time, Éomer knew that he hadn’t missed the long, significant look he shot the two of them—he shot Éomer—when he called Mary’s name.

“Bringing your niece again?” Haldir asked, tone light and nonchalant.  Éomer thought.  He wasn’t sure—the guy looked like he would be good at hiding things.  Mysterious stranger and all that.

“I help out where I can.”

“I haven’t seen you around here before.  Is why I mention it,” he replied with a shrug as he showed them into the room.

“Do you remember all the people who come through here?” Éomer retorted.

Haldir paused for a moment after they all entered the waiting room, watching Éomer.  Right when Éomer was beginning to get uncertain at the silence, Haldir said thoughtfully, “Only the ones who catch my attention.”

He glanced at Mary.  “You two wait here.  Doctor Beorn will be in soon."

And then he turned and left, leaving Éomer staring after him yet again, mouth hanging open slightly.

—

Mary wasn't able to understand why her uncle was so flustered, and Éomer could only deflect so many questions without feeling his face heat up, especially when they continued after Haldir returned—"Unca Aymer, why are you so red?"

And of course, when Éomer was waiting for the post-visit paperwork…

"You know, she's right.  You might want to go in for a checkup yourself."

Éomer started, turning his head quickly to see that unfairly long, pale hair framing Haldir's face.  He was usually quite pleased with his own hair—after all, it was blonde as well—but he couldn't help feeling a twinge of… well, envy.

"Flushing can be a symptom of a lot of different things," Haldir drawled, and Éomer simply watched, unable to tell if he was mocking Éomer or… something else.  "Fever, tachycardia, arousal, fibromyalgia, hyperglycemia, exposure to certain toxins…"

"I don't—"  Éomer's brain took a moment to process all of the words, and when it finished, he froze.  "Wait, what?"

"Toxins," Haldir said matter-of-factly.  "What do you do for a living?  Anything that might expose you to anything dangerous?  Heavy work, maybe?"

Éomer was not imagining the lingering glance Haldir gave his arms.  Was he?

"Vet," Éomer managed to get out, clearing his throat.  "Equine veterinarian."

That actually broke Haldir's cool composure.  He looked… pleased.

"So you also work in the medical field, then.  That's good to hear."

"Is it?"  Éomer knew it was, but hearing Haldir say it seemed to mean something entirely different.

"It is," Haldir said thoughtfully, gesturing for Éomer to follow.  He did, though not so far that Mary, sitting in her chair and engrossed by a Highlights magazine, left his sight.  "Alcohol can also cause a flush like this one," he mused, leaning closer as he slowly backed Éomer into a corner.  "How are you with drinks?"

"I'm—fine."  His voice was strangled as he tried to keep an eye on Mary—

Until Haldir's face obscured his vision—

And then hands took his face and pulled it forward, lips pressing firmly against his.

It was a hell of a kiss, deep and slow and drawn out in a way that shouldn't have been so fantastic coming from a man Éomer had seen twice, but he leaned into it, kissed back for all he was worth as his surroundings seemed to spin around him.

Haldir eventually pulled back, leaving Éomer gasping, and he simply gaped in a daze for a few moments.

Of course, then his thoughts won out over the haziness: Mary!

He quickly glanced over Haldir's shoulder, breathing still unsteady, scarcely noticing when Haldir took his hand.

"Don't worry," he murmured.  "I've asked a coworker to keep an eye on her for a few moments."

"What—"  Éomer tried to turn his attention back to the other man.

"But those few moments are up."  Haldir reached around behind Éomer, placing a hand between his shoulderblades and pushing forward gently, propelling him towards where Mary was waiting with another nurse.  Mary was, of course, totally oblivious as to how out of sorts her uncle was, just as Éomer was completely oblivious to the slight, knowing smile the other nurse flashed in his direction as they left.

It wasn't until Mary tried to take his hand as they walked to the car that he realized there was something in his hand.

Lifting it, he pulled out a small, crumpled piece of paper with one name and seven digits scrawled across it.

[mangopuffs]

"OTP: Almost Killed Gimli" I am dying omfg

THE ONLY OTP TAG THAT MATTERS

[xyriath]

Modern day Eomer and Haldir meeting through tumblr

Eomer's blog is--oh god, it's totally an anime blog.  He's got no patience for like 90% of the popular tumblr media (he maybe saw half an episode of doctor who once) and he's maybe a little bit (read: totally) an anime snob because he's really picky about what he watches.  Hellsing and Fullmetal Alchemist and probably Blood+ or something, maybe a little bit of Chrono Crusade, and one of his favorites is Rurouni Kenshin but he's not so much a fan of the anime; never was able to get into DBZ or Yu Yu Hakusho but probably worships NGE.

(IRL he's like this scene kid/skater punk-who-doesn't-skate/screamo mashup type guy who wears dark and/or torn clothes and fingerless gloves and sometimes eyeliner and never combs his hair quite as much as he should)

Haldir, of course, is a hipster to his bones, and his blog is filled with pretty girls and boys in hipster clothes and relaxing colorful gifs like "Be happy" and "Never stop dreaming" and neon signs of "We see what we want" and bikes and landscapes and cameras and space and Tolkien quotes and his instagram feed and vegan recipes (so his followers think that he's vegan--but really he can't manage to give up hamburgers).  And selfies, of course; gorgeous selfies of himself with his giant thick-rimmed glasses and his white-blonde hair and mildly snobby expression.

Haldir meets Eomer when he's in his Attack on Titan phase.

(Eomer had sworn not to get into the anime, courtesy of his snobby side, but he quickly found himself totally sucked in and basically shocked all of his followers, though most admitted that it probably did him some good)

Eomer posts some screenshot from an obscure anime with a caption on it that's easily misinterpreted as an inspirational quote and Haldir reblogs it.  Eomer sees the tags and is like "wtf is a hipster blog reblogging my stuff" so goes to the url

and then he sees a selfie

and the rest is history

(+follow)

[xyriath]

Eoldir? As in Eomer/Haldir? ... Tell me more...

I

UM

ok YES it started as a CRACK SHIP but is rapidly ruining my LIFE and it’s all mangopuffs's FAULT

But basically what IF Haldir got badly injured during Helm’s Deep instead of killed (TECHNICALLY he didn’t die in the book so I refuse to believe he died in the movies so shhhh) so had to be treated with everyone else from Rohan (or you could tweak it even more and involve Pelennor because everyone loves Pelennor amirite) so of course he’s stuck there for a bit because he can’t travel with those injuries and just

He’s super proud and Eomer is also super proud so of course there would be CLASHING and glaring at each other and since Haldir is an honored guest of Lorien and all that Eomer unfortunately can’t IGNORE them

so they just start digging at each other and they are totally NOT eyefucking okay but seriously it seems like every time they’re in the same room or even in a close proximity they just happen to gravitate towards each other and end up trading barbs (“Oh did you even do any work today because your hair says otherwise” “well if looking like I’ve been rolling in the muck is an indication of hard work you must have been doing much of it indeed”) and lbr Eowyn and Eomer’s riders and the elves who stayed are 100% done and just like “CHILDREN PLEASE” but can’t bring it up because they don’t want their heads getting bitten off and meanwhile poor Faramir’s totally confused over here but Eowyn is just like “don’t worry about it *pat pat*”

(lbr they probably start a pool on when they’re going to end up screwing out of frustration; the smart money’s on two more months but Eowyn’s betting for three weeks with the two of them concealing it for that many months and she actually really ships it okay because she’s seen her brother genuinely angry/frustrated and this is Not It so she knows that it’s nice for him to have someone to get his energy out with. ahem.  Also she thinks they’ll be good for each other since Haldir maybe needs to get over himself a tiny bit and Eomer will not put up with his bullshit and maybe vice versa a little)

The two of them eventually tearing each others’s clothes off in Eomer’s room and Haldir pinning him to the bed

Eomer not having a lot of experience with guys

The two of them having to deal with both each others’ stubbornness and prejudices (though this is a damn fantasy novel so I can have queer people not being in constant fear of death for their orientation bye)

Haldir discovering that the proud prince of Rohan is a tempting target to tame (though not break; never break)

Eowyn hearing the thumps from Eomer’s rooms and smirking because she knows she’ll win the bet

Moments of unexpected tenderness as they realize how much they mean to each other

Haldir gifting Eomer a supple leather collar with golden inlay of horses and Eomer startled at such a beautiful gift

The two of them eventually becoming a fixture and an expectation for those around them

Eomer being wounded in battle and Haldir not realizing why he’s panicking so badly

Haldir resisting the call to Valinor for his steady horse prince

Eomer growing older and insecure about his age while Haldir remains the same

Haldir beginning plans for construction of a boat to Valinor and Eomer refusing, insisting that his people, his family, his sister, need his service.

Eomer old and tired, though still not frail or feeble, with sharp eyes and a stern face with dignity like his uncle’s, and Haldir looking the same as the day they met.

Haldir’s black clothing contrasting the shocking white of his hair as he stands at Eomer’s tomb, unmoving, unseeing, mourning his loss of Eomer, and cursing the fleeting nature of human lives.

OTP: Almost Killed Gimli

(alternatively, OTP: Lethally Blonde)