I told my church choir director about my plan to transition last night. We were both several drinks deep at the bar and having a heart-to-heart. He was supportive and said he is ultimately very excited to see me becoming myself, but admitted he feels not having me as a soprano in his choir would be a huge loss. Naturally, I’m pretty conflicted about that. I really hate to inconvenience people, and I’m terrified of people pitying me when my voice isn’t what they remembered, especially when it’s inevitably going to be in that crackly unstable place for a while.
On a lighter note, when he saw me, he said he thought I had already started transitioning. I’ve lost a little weight this summer and got a good haircut so my face is a little less round than usual right now. Plus I have like, dark peach fuzz on my face naturally even without HRT, which he touched like “what is this?” I said, “It’s my mustache, any questions?” It was a weird interaction but we had a good laugh about it. I feel a real kinship with him. He’s an older gay man and really makes an effort to understand me. I think of him like a queer role model, and I think he thinks of me like a young queer to take under his wing. I’m glad we have a good rapport, and I sincerely hope I can keep singing for him while my voice changes.