young man growing into himself @transcountertenor - Tumblr Blog

Remember that even good changes can make us feel depressed, because, as creatures of habit, we're resistant to change. That doesn't mean that it wasn't the right choice.

iscariotapologist

today in church one of the priests referred to trans people as "those who are growing into the gender they were called to be" and i'm kind of enjoying the idea of like....divinely ordained top surgery

followthebluebell

ahperrytheplatypus

Currently workshopping mine a la Iron Man

one of my nipples finally looks like a nipple 🕺

#top surgery

sleep schedule officially fucked beyond recognition someone explain why I didn't fall asleep until 10:00 AM!!!!!

#my ability to sleep was stored in my tits evidently #truly it's stored in the ability to sleep on my stomach but that ain't happening for a while #AND i had nightmares to boot!!#nightmares that they had to put the drains back in me and there was so much blood it overflowed #and my house was full of people disgusted by me and taking all my snacks :(

sacred-portal

transcountertenor

ok so preamble: my fiancé is an organist for a Roman Catholic Church that has actively fired staff members for being gay. Like in the past year. So he’s been very discreet about me in front of his coworkers.

I have been in a depressive slump because I’m just tired all the time and pent up with cabin fever. I haven’t been shaving and am surprised by how much facial hair I can actually grow when I don’t mess with it. Between that and top surgery, I am actually starting to pass a little bit.

He asked me to come with him to mass today, just to get me out of pajamas and out of the house for a little while. I reluctantly agreed because I recognized it might be good for me.

We got there and his boss (priest) came up to us to say hello, and my fiancé had a look of panic for a moment before introducing me as his roommate 😭

bit of ewwphoria I suppose

transcountertenor

bruh why do you keep making pretty doe eyes and giggling at your roommate?? 🤨

#he’s an idiot I love him mind body and soul #he’s getting fired and sent to super hell though

ok so preamble: my fiancé is an organist for a Roman Catholic Church that has actively fired staff members for being gay. Like in the past year. So he’s been very discreet about me in front of his coworkers.

I have been in a depressive slump because I’m just tired all the time and pent up with cabin fever. I haven’t been shaving and am surprised by how much facial hair I can actually grow when I don’t mess with it. Between that and top surgery, I am actually starting to pass a little bit.

He asked me to come with him to mass today, just to get me out of pajamas and out of the house for a little while. I reluctantly agreed because I recognized it might be good for me.

We got there and his boss (priest) came up to us to say hello, and my fiancé had a look of panic for a moment before introducing me as his roommate 😭

bit of ewwphoria I suppose

#trans #transgender #ftm #trans man #ftm trans #lgbt

i sit

in my desolate room

no boobs

no titties

#Top surgery recovery is going so great

coughed too suddenly in my compression binder and I think I broke a rib

#I am not kidding

it-appears-that-bruno-has-deact

#Yes :( I’m going insane

love listening to my husband practice piano

he’ll be reading through hymns and inevitably he’ll shift it into jazz or bossa nova or add the lick somewhere in there and just be like “oops 😗” looking back at me for my disapproval

my parents were/are very cool why am I then still full of unhealed trauma?

#It was probably kids my own age #And the Roman Catholic church #And teachers #And society in general #But I have had the natural instinct to tear myself to pieces since I was born it feels like #To hide in dark places and hiss when approached #Even by loved ones #I wonder if I will ever feel like something other than a wretched thing

scramratz

It sucks there seems to be a concerted effort to distance the transfem and transmasc communities from each other. If it weren’t for trans women, I probably wouldn’t have realized I was trans until much later in life.

The cis women in my life were so miserable in their womanhood, I thought that misery was normal. Seeing trans women actually love and fight to be seen as women made me question my own misery

#THISSSS #trans women who were women on purpose #Women who loved themselves when they were feminine #Made me realize femininity was not in fact inherently worse than masculinity #It was simply not for me

asunnysadgirl

#Been listening to game grumps to fall asleep the past two weeks #They soothe me

transcountertenor

tmi

well.... I fucking caved

I got an erection and absentmindedly went to touch it and just immediately nutted

this has never happened to me before

suppose it's what I get for trying to be consistent with my testosterone again but jesus christ I hope this doesn't mess with my healing

the doctor told me to wait one more week at least yesterday 😵

maybe I'm just being overly cautious and anxious but I've done everything right so far and I don't want my fucking libido to ruin this for me

AND I HATE THAT THIS WHOLE SITUATION IS GIVING ME GENDER EUPHORIA BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE A PENT UP GUILT RIDDEN CATHOLIC TEEN BOY 😤

transcountertenor

and you know what's fucked up

I'M STILL GODDAMN HORNY

tmi

well.... I fucking caved

I got an erection and absentmindedly went to touch it and just immediately nutted

this has never happened to me before

suppose it's what I get for trying to be consistent with my testosterone again but jesus christ I hope this doesn't mess with my healing

the doctor told me to wait one more week at least yesterday 😵

maybe I'm just being overly cautious and anxious but I've done everything right so far and I don't want my fucking libido to ruin this for me

AND I HATE THAT THIS WHOLE SITUATION IS GIVING ME GENDER EUPHORIA BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE A PENT UP GUILT RIDDEN CATHOLIC TEEN BOY 😤

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

young man growing into himself