#equineengineer

[collectivestuck-blog]

69

-- audaciousArchitect [AA] began a bulletin -- -- siliconSwashbuckler [SS] broaches -- -- intenseImpressionist [II] broaches -- -- phaithfulPhysician [PP] broaches -- -- bebopBelter [BB] broaches -- -- equineEngineer [EE] broaches --

BB: yo EE: hi everybody :)! EE: its been like forever since we all talked II: yeah SS: Everybody okay? BB: yea EE: yep! PP: I’m glad to hear that. AA: The Genesis Frog is complete. EE: hes kinda cute! EE: all blinky and rainbow colored PP: I hope you have him somewhere safe. I’d hate to lose him at the last second to some unforeseen disaster. AA: I placed him in a hermetically sealed container I crafted from pieces of the Forge. I personally vouch for its security. BB: ok II: are we done then? AA: Not yet. He needs to be delivered to the center of the Battlefield on Skaia so he can grow. AA: All of Derse will stand in our way. SS: My mom says they’ll take care of the queen. AA: They won’t be able to deal with her. She’s too powerful. SS: I trust my mom. If she says she can do it, then she can. AA: Tell her to stay away. We’ll find another way. SS: No. She said she’ll do it, and we need to fight the king anyway. AA: The queen is beyond the power of anyone below god tier as long as she has the ring. BB: i say we let her do it BB: ive seen her kick ass AA: I will not let anyone else enter harm’s way when I can prevent it. BB: what EE: do you want me to tell them? PP: Tell us what? AA: Our mutual enemy placed my father in her throne room. We were unable to rescue him before he received fatal injuries. BB: oh shit BB: sorry dude SS: …Wow. SS: I’m sorry, man. Are you okay? AA: I'm over it. AA: We don’t have time for pity parties. We have to get this frog to the Battlefield. II: okay II: well all go there now AA: Wait. AA: This will be the finale. It will test us beyond anything we’ve faced. PP: You have a point. Are we really ready for this? II: were all god tier PP: Is everyone comfortable with their abilities? BB: fuck up peoples luck BB: im good at that EE: yep! EE: i think i can focus on just whats about to happen and make sure nobody gets hurt AA: This will be a difficult operation. We’ll need to carve our way through the entire Dersite army, and that will be the easy part. AA: We need strong leadership to see us to victory. BB: ug II: fine II: tell us what you want us to do AA: Actually, I was hoping someone with experience would take the lead. AA: Steve, we’ve reached the end of the game. What happens now? SS: …Wait, what? AA: You’re the one with the best game credentials. And we all trust you, don’t we? PP: Absolutely. EE: yep! ;) BB: im cool with that II: agreed SS: …Really? AA: You’re clearly the best for the job. AA: So, what do we do now? SS: …Uh. SS: Okay. Before the final boss, we finish all the sidequests and get the best gear. Did everybody complete their quests? II: I did BB: me too PP: As did I. EE: i think my quest was just to help make the frog, so i did! SS: Okay, so. We have a lot of grist. Can we make better weapons? AA: I’m fairly certain I’ve already made the greatest weapon in the game. EE: um EE: we do need to save a bunch of grist for the ultimate alchemy BB: what EE: i think its part of making the frog grow :/ SS: Okay, we can probably do fine with the weapons we’ve got. SS: I think all that’s left is some last minute grinding. EE: :O! EE: steve! >:/ PP: That’s incredibly inappropriate! SS: Woah woah! SS: Not like that! SS: I mean getting the last bit of experience we need to earn the best moves! SS: I’m pretty sure this is one of the games that resolves romance plots after the finale anyway. PP: …We are going to have a talk when this is done. SS: It was a joke! BB: rofl AA: My consorts did make mention of something called a fraymotif. I took the liberty of investigating and found that they were unnecessarily expensive, so I disregarded them. AA: We should have enough funds now. BB: oh hey BB: thats weird BB: i think i have one already EE: :O you do? BB: yea BB: when i put on my white glove i can do this dance move BB: its really fucking strong AA: Fascinating. SS: Okay, so we should all get as many fraymotifs as we can. Don’t worry about hording boondollars. BB: shit BB: i was gonna retire on this BB: buy my own island BB: jamestown SS: Trust me, islands are way overrated. PP: Shall we meet again in an hour? SS: Make it two. Everybody do whatever you need to get ready, and we’ll meet on the Battlefield. AA: Understood. BB: whatever you say fearless leader EE: see you guys soon! ;)

-- equineEngineer [EE] bids goodbye -- -- phaithfulPhysician [PP] bids goodbye -- -- bebopBelter [BB] bids goodbye -- -- intenseImpressionist [II] bids goodbye --

AA: Steve. SS: Yeah? AA: You can do this. AA: I’ve never said it before, but I am impressed by you. AA: And I’m glad to call myself your friend. SS: You know, Greg. You can be really annoying some times. SS: But even when you’re acting smug, it’s because you’re cool enough to deserve it. SS: And I’m glad we’re friends too. AA: I wouldn’t follow anyone else. SS: I’ll try not to let you down. AA: I already know you won’t.

-- siliconSwashbuckler [SS] bids goodbye -- -- audaciousArchitect [AA] bids goodbye --

[collectivestuck-blog]

56

After a wonderful eternity, you finally break your kiss to breathe. Greg seems just as stunned as you.

TIFFANY: So, uh, hi. GREG: Hi yourself.

Your face is flushed. There's a tingle that's running through your whole body.

GREG: So… TIFFANY: So. TIFFANY: Can we make out some more?

Ugh!

Your stupid BadgerBud chimes, totally killing the mood.

And it's a weird message too. All blank. You try highlighting the empty spaces.

-- anonymousAdvisor [AA] began badgering equineEngineer [EE] --

AA: Hello, Miss Orrin. I'm afraid we haven't the time for proper introductions. AA: I am a friend of Mister Garrison and Mister Stelios. And I would like it if you would consider me a friend as well. AA: But we're on a very tight schedule. AA: Your beau's father won't last long. EE: what? EE: gregs dad is in trouble? AA: Indeed. AA: Mortal danger. AA: You are capable of rescuing him, but you must act now. EE: umm EE: youre some weird guy who wont even type in a legible color EE: why should i trust you? AA: Ask your alternate selves.

You open your infinite sight, and your doomed selves have the same conversation. In some of them, the creepy stalker guy sends a picture of Greg's dad being ripped apart by the queen of Derse. By the time those versions of you receive the picture, it's too late to save him. Greg never forgives you.

EE: eep! EE: okay! EE: what do i do? AA: I have taken the liberty of placing your dreamselves in position outside the Derse royal palace. AA: If you inhabit them now, you can stage a daring rescue. AA: But you must act quickly. EE: so we need to go to sleep? AA: Immediately. AA: Should you need assistance, I can provide. EE: yes! EE: hurry!

You lock eyes with Greg. He's confused. You plant a quick kiss on his lips, and then you both lose consciousness.

[collectivestuck-blog]

48

-- phaithfulPhysician [PP] began badgering equineEngineer [EE] --

PP: I think that should be high enough to reach the gate. EE: lemme see EE: ooo! EE: yeah that looks great! :) PP: Give it a test. I’m not sure how structurally sound it is.

--

You finish brushing Marie’s hair and approach the spiral staircase Liz made. All the stairs are embedded around a column, stretching all the way up to the enormous portal in the air. You lean your weight onto the first few stairs, and it holds. Liz has better architectural skill than she admits.

--

EE: its perfect! PP: And you know where this will take you?

--

You peer into the folds of paradox space. In another timeline, a version of you describes the nature of the Gates. You repeat her explanation.

--

EE: yeah EE: its like halfway across my planet EE: close to the atomic cymbal PP: What is that?

--

Your temporal sight again shows you the answer.

--

EE: in case we fuck up really badly EE: it lets us reset everything EE: but like everything everything EE: so we probably shouldnt do that X\ PP: Pardon my interruption, but where are you getting this information? PP: I was under the impression your sprite didn’t talk. EE: yeah maries quiet :/ EE: im seeing it from other mes EE: i think its part of being a seer EE: i can look at all the alternate timelines and see what other versions of us do PP: Oh my. PP: That sounds useful, if rather disturbing. PP: How much information can you gleam from this? It would be nice to know what we should and shouldn’t do. EE: its kind of hard EE: all of the other versions of us are from doomed timelines EE: so i can see what they do but its not a good idea for us to do it PP: Doomed timelines? EE: yeah :( EE: theres only one alpha timeline and thats us PP: So there are alternate parallel versions of us that are doomed to… failure and misery, I assume, merely because they aren’t us? EE: yeah EE: it really sucks PP: There must be something we can do. EE: no EE: thats what dooms some of them EE: they say not to worry though EE: things will be okay for them EE: the important thing is that you and i do what we have to do PP: …I refuse. PP: I will not give up on them so easily. PP: But I won’t push the issue now. PP: So go ahead and enter the gate. I’ll find you on the other side.

--

You stare through the multiverse. Some versions of you attempt to climb the stairs, which collapse and leave those yous plummeting to horrible deaths. Others are suddenly attacked by enormous GRASS OGRES, and the strife turns terrible. If you focus, you can tune out the ones who fail right now and see just the ones whose deaths come later. All of this disaster is kind of depressing, so you shut out your infinite sight.

Your ascent is unremarkable. No horrors assail you, no tragedy befalls you, no misfortune awaits you. At the top of the stairs, you step through the gate.

It deposits you on a hill overlooking a vast plain. At its center is the Atomic Cymbal, the construct used for performing a scratch. Its brass surface stands in stark contrast to the grassy fields around it. The herds grazing and galloping across the landscape stay far clear of it. Something that powerful deserves fear and respect.

You take one last look through your other selves, searching for any who might cause a scratch. There are some there – in the infinity of paradox space, you can find a version of yourself that does almost anything. Sifting through the visions, you find them. Every one working with Greg and Steve to reset the universe after terrible failure, and every one falling to the hordes that appear at the threat of a scratch. The Incipisphere resists the attempt with everything it has, and you’re never strong enough to stop it.

You’d better not fuck up, then.

[collectivestuck-blog]

45

You decide to take a rest on a nearby pew. Walking across your planet is a tall order, and the bell your quest demands you ring never seems to get any closer. All the fireplaces may give the place a cozy feel, but it’s not great for making a long journey comfortable. At least word of your pilgrimage has travelled, and your mouse friends have scurried out of their holes to offer you supplies. The only payment they accept is readings of scripture; you don’t know that they fully understand the words you speak, but they certainly seem happy to hear them.

Which is more than you can say for the imps you’ve encountered. On a lark, you tried converting one through the Word rather than the book. It lasted through four verses before clamping its hands over its ears (you think; it’s hard to tell how weird carapace creatures hear) and begging you to go away. You had to put the poor thing out of its misery.

You take a sip from the canteen that Duchess Margaretta Alderdice generously donated to your cause. There haven’t been any rivers or lakes that you have seen to provide water to these blessed creatures, but you certainly won’t turn down such a thoughtful gift. They show true compassion, and your heart swells to think of how wonderful everyone has been.

Then you receive a message.

-- equineEngineer [EE] began badgering phaithfulPhysician [PP] –

EE: liz :’( PP: Oh dear. What happened, Tiff? EE: i yelled at greg for being a jerk EE: and now im not talking to him PP: I see. EE: im just so mad!! EE: why does he have to be so difficult PP: I’m afraid that’s just Greg. EE: i was kind of looking forward to doing all this with him EE: maybe get a chance to be alone EE: but then it turns out he put steve in real danger! EE: and i just want to smack him! PP: Let me guess. He said something about making Steve face his fears to become a better person. EE: something like that EE: he cant just be a normal cute smart guy PP: You’ve already heard my thoughts on the matter. EE: you and your freudian excuses PP: I don’t think this technically falls under Freud’s theories. EE: whatever EE: just ugh EE: i think im going to let him sit for a while EE: you and i can do stuff instead

--

You have been rather negligent in your server duties. Come to think of it, your server hasn’t helped you either. Everyone else has been so busy with their own problems that you’ve been kind of forgotten. Not that you’re complaining, of course; you’re more than capable of keeping yourself busy, and you’d rather they handle their affairs than trouble themselves with you.

Oh dear. And this is why.

-- audaciousArchitect [AA] began badgering phaithfulPhysician [PP] –

AA: Liz. I know you’re talking to Tiffany. PP: Just drop it, Greg. PP: I’ve already heard it, and I happen to agree with her. Your behavior, as always, was deplorable. AA: You’ve heard what Tiffany said Steve said. PP: Do you deny making him climb a fifty story ladder without help or safety measures? AA: It’s not that simple. PP: Isn’t it? PP: We all have Slopbox now. We can share grist. Resources aren’t a constraint. AA: It was efficient timewise as well. PP: So is a ramp. But you didn’t build him a ramp, did you. AA: It was all I could think of in a hurry. PP: First, you weren’t in a real hurry. There was no ticking clock saying you had to get Steve through the gate immediately. You wanted to brush him off quickly so you could go back to flirting with Tiffany. PP: More importantly, I know you can think better than that. You know you can think better than that. PP: You wanted to see Steve in danger because it makes you feel good. AA: It was for his own benefit! PP: How many times do you have to say that before it becomes true? AA: He needs to be challenged so he can see that he’s capable of more than he shows. Without a firm push, he just languishes and makes himself look terrible. PP: And you are so concerned about that. PP: You don’t want Steve to look good. PP: Because if Steve is as good as you say, he’s smart, funny, charismatic, and most importantly, not some kind of sociopath. PP: And Tiffany won’t give you the time of day. AA: Look. Just tell her to unblock me so I can explain. PP: No, I don’t think I will, Greg. PP: In fact, I think that was the smartest thing she’s done since all this started. PP: You do need to just how unpleasant you can be. PP: So I’m going to follow suit. AA: You can’t do this! PP: It’s for your own benefit, Greg. PP: Think of it as a chance to grow.

-- phaithfulPhysician [PP] blocked audaciousArchitect [AA] --

You really shouldn’t be feeling this smug.

--

PP: I’m sorry about that, Tiff. PP: So. Let’s get to work on getting you through that gate.

--

[collectivestuck-blog]

44

This is the strangest thing you’ve seen in a long time. It’s as though someone decided to design a man-made volcano. The surface is polished to a mirror sheen, with temperature and pressure gages at regular intervals. Reinforced tubes run down the face into the floor, presumably to transport magma to safe containment. You can see bolts where the individual plates that make up the structure meet.

It would be a lot more impressive if it worked, though.

-- audaciousArchitect [AA] began badgering equineEngineer [EE] –

AA: Tiffany. Can you find me? EE: maybe EE: gimme a sec EE: aha! EE: found you! ;) AA: Any idea what I’m looking at here? EE: woah! EE: umm EE: lemme see EE: oh! its the forge! AA: It appears to be a volcano – or at least a reasonable facsimile. EE: yeah EE: its part of your quest AA: My quest? EE: hang on EE: steve wants something

--

Well. While she’s busy with him, you should see if you can obtain any more information.

GREG: Shiva. What is this quest I supposedly have? SHIVASPRITE: user.aspect = SPACE SHIVASPRITE: getQuest(user.aspect) SHIVASPRITE: user.quest = forge.stoke() SHIVASPRITE: for(int i = 0; i < planet.getFrogCount(); i++) SHIVASPRITE: user.quest += getDNA(planet.frogs[i]);

That’s… interesting. You have to make this volcano erupt, and then… something about obtaining DNA from frogs? Liz mentioned frogs, and you assume that all of the sealed compartments you keep seeing are where they’re kept. You can’t imagine how you’re supposed to get their DNA, though. Perhaps that will be more clear once you stoke the Forge.

Which will be quite the task by itself. Assuming the volcano is active at all, you’d need something drastic to set it off. Tiffany seems to have gained a great deal of information all of a sudden. She likely knows something.

--

AA: Tiffany. Tell me more about the Forge. EE: greg!!! EE: >:( AA: Pardon? EE: steve told me about how you were a dick to him! AA: I was no such thing. EE: you made him climb a huge ladder! AA: I offered him the most efficient method of reaching his gate. It saved both time and grist. AA: And it meant I could return to working with you. EE: oh no you dont EE: dont try to make this about us EE: you need to stop fucking with steve AA: I’m just doing what’s best for everyone. AA: Steve needs opportunities to grow, and you and I need to progress as far as we possibly can. EE: >:( EE: greg why do you have to be a jerk all the time AA: I have no idea what you’re talking about. AA: If people happen to react negatively to me, that’s their problem. EE: >:(!!! AA: What do you want from me, Tiffany? EE: i want you to apologize to steve! EE: and then to stop being such an asshole! EE: god greg! EE: youre really smart and cute and confident and stuff! EE: why do you have be a jerk too! AA: I have never intentionally been a jerk. EE: really? EE: >:( AA: Okay, perhaps occasionally I have been unnecessarily harsh to Steve. But only for his benefit. AA: He needs someone to push him. EE: no EE: you need someone to push! EE: >:( AA: I most certainly do not. EE: dont give me that! EE: i see right through you! EE: its not enough for you to be cool EE: you have to be cooler than everybody and make sure they know it! AA: Preposterous. EE: im not talking to you anymore greg EE: you want to be better than everyone else then fine EE: go be perfect by yourself

-- equineEngineer [EE] blocked audaciousArchitect [AA] --

Wh…

What?

She…

She blocked you.

That’s impossible. You’re a SMOOTH OPERATOR.

Sure, you act a little arrogant, but that’s part of SMOOTH OPERATING. She likes that. She said so.

…What do you do now?

[collectivestuck-blog]

41

-- equineEngineer [EE] began badgering audaciousArchitect [AA] –

EE: greg! AA: Tiffany. I’m glad to see you. EE: im glad to see you too! ;) AA: How are you acclimating to all of this? EE: its kind of weird EE: but this place is so cool! AA: I assume you’re ready to start toward our goal. EE: yep! EE: …uh EE: what goal is that? AA: First, we need to build up to the gate over my house. AA: I’ve already obtained plenty of grist. EE: woah! :O EE: you’ve really been busy AA: Just waiting for you, my dear. EE: gimme a sec to figure out how to build

--

While she fiddles with your house, you take a moment to catch up on the rest of the BadgerBud messages you received while you were busy. Apparently Steve and James discovered another piece of the Phernalia Registry.

--

AA: Tiffany. EE: hmm? AA: There should be a CD in the Registry. Deploy it for me. EE: okay

--

The CD slot on your armor opens, and you slide it in. With the infinite processing power of the most advanced clothing of the future, you have it installed almost instantly. You look at your team’s shared storage. Steve has cluttered it with grist and…

Tsk tsk. Really, Steve? Showing off these abject failures? This just makes him look like an immature idiot.

He has so much more potential than he shows. You want him to succeed – you really do – but he keeps holding himself back. He never had someone to push him before, not like you did. His jealousy is a double-edged sword; he really should be man enough to ignore how great you are and focus on himself, but his self-imposed rivalry has driven him to grow. If he had the confidence due someone of his intellect, the girls would be all over him. Still, if he needs you to serve as both goal and inspiration, you’ll do it. You make a mental note to chide him for displaying his failures so openly. A SMOOTH OPERATOR needs to watch his appearances.

--

EE: okay greg! EE: i made all the way up!

--

She made a series of floors, supported by white columns and connected by staircases, stacked up to reach the gate. You start your climb.

--

EE: :O !!! EE: greg! EE: youve got trouble!

--

The ground rumbles, and you see a massive swarm of Steel Imps charging at your house. Not a problem – earning enough grist to build up this high shot you up your Echeladder to AUGMENTED ADEPT. The imps charge up the stairs, flailing each of their four arms in wild swings.

You never asked for this, but you’ll sure as shit take it.

SLICE!

Your Hidden Chainblade whips out of your gauntlet, beheading three imps with one slash. The rest pause and look amongst each other. Eventually, they push one forward, and it raises its arms sheepishly. You lunge, carving it in two.

The remaining imps scramble over each other to get back down the stairs.

As you smirk, an enormous hand grabs onto the floor. The TITANIUM OGRE pulls itself up and snarls at you.

Pistons on your legs give you extra push as you dash forward, drawing your blade across its ankles. The teeth tear into its silver hide, and it howls as it drops to its knees. You leap up, slicing through its neck. As you land, you’re showered in grist. The Chainblade slides back into your armor with a flick of your wrist, and you brush your hair out of your face with your other hand.

SMOOTH.

OPERATOR.

--

EE: :O greg… EE: THAT WAS THE COOLEST THING EVER!!! AA: Hardly. It wasn’t even a challenge. EE: ;O AA: Do you see any more? EE: i dont think so EE: theyre all running away

--

All too easy. You make your way to the top of your house. One final staircase leads up to the gate.

--

EE: wait! EE: do you know what happens when you go through that? AA: No. Only that it’s where I need to go. EE: are you sure? EE: we just got back together EE: i dont want to lose you again ;( AA: Don’t worry. AA: There’s nothing through there that I can’t handle. AA: Especially if you’re helping me. EE: okay EE: i trust you

--

You know she can still see you, so you look up, kiss your fingers, and hold them up. Then you walk into the gate.

[collectivestuck-blog]

39

You wake back in the Land of Salts and Sonance without your usual cheer. Two burdens lay now on your shoulders. Your awakening on Prospit instilled in you all the knowledge due you in your role as a Seer. You see – in a sense beyond your mere physical eyes – the constructs of the game, and the infinite worlds beside you just out of reach. It is a terrible burden you’ve been dealt, to see every doomed timeline and know where and why they went wrong. If you so choose, you might be able to contact all those doomed Tiffanies and Gregs and Elizabeths and Steves, but you would never be able to save them.

More importantly, though, your mom wasn’t there to wake you up.

You only caught the door of your room closing when you sat up in your bed in your tower on Prospit. After you got your bearings, you flew around a bit. The other two Prospit dreamers’ rooms weren’t far away, so you wandered over. Liz was already gone from hers, but Steve was there. You didn’t want to intrude on his reunion with his mom, though; Liz had said that he was worried about her. The figure wandering the streets looked like Greg’s dad, so you’re pretty sure he’s okay.

But your mom wasn’t there.

You head back into your house and up to your computer. Hopefully one of your friends knows something.

-- equineEngineer [EE] began badgering siliconSwashbuckler [SS] –

EE: steve? SS: Tiffany! You made it! SS: I am so glad to hear from you. EE: im glad youre okay too! :) SS: Are you ready to get started? EE: not yet EE: i saw you on prospit SS: Oh, your dreamself is there too? SS: That’s cool! EE: im glad your mom is okay SS: Me too. SS: I was sure that I had lost her back there. SS: But apparently some weird guy saved all our parents so they could wake us up. EE: my mom too EE: ? SS: Yeah. Didn’t she wake you? EE: no EE: i didnt see who it was but i think it was gregs dad SS: Eeek. SS: He scares me. EE: me too X( SS: My mom said all our parents made it. EE: phew SS: I guess we should get started. I know I’m not your server, but I can still give you some advice. EE: thanks steve! SS: No problem. Did Liz deploy all the machines for you? EE: yea EE: and i got a bunch of grist when i saved that mole SS: You have moles on your planet? SS: Man, everybody has great consorts except me. EE: oh steve ;) SS: Go ahead and try some alchemy.

--

You know that if you concentrated, you could see all the other yous’ alchemy attempts, and you could see which ones work and which ones wouldn’t. Instead, you shake your head and clear your thoughts. It’ll be more fun if you don’t know what’s coming.

Obviously to start you’re going to need adventuring clothing.

Lab Gloves && Horseback Attire = CHEMIST’S CHAPS

The pair of riding pants you created are made of a material you don’t recognize – it’s elastic without tearing, and it has enough friction to keep you from sliding off the saddle. On the  waistband are warning labels informing you that the pants are shielded from alpha, beta, and gamma radiation, insulated against heat and electricity, and resist corrosion. Gleefully you slip them on.

Lab Gloves || Horse Calendar = LUSTRIOUS LAB COAT

Your new coat is made of horse hair; it’s silky smooth, like snuggling up to Marie and wrapping her around yourself. The same warning labels cover the inside of the coat, rather than marring the gorgeous exterior.

Okay, these clothes are practical, but you need something with more pizzazz.

Chemistry Set && Homecoming Dress = ELEMENTAL EVENINGWEAR

The ball gown is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. It shimmers a brilliant orange, as though it’s made entirely of sequins. On the shoulder is stitched a small square with the letter H in it. You tap it a few more times. As you scroll through the elements, the dress changes color to match the flame produced when burning that element. You stop at Barium, leaving the dress a muted green. At some point you have to find the time to wear this and strut your stuff. The neckline is just low enough to drive Greg crazy.

Steedsprite nuzzles up to you and snorts. In the distance you can see a herd frightened about something. That’s right; if you’re going to keep dealing with imps, you should probably make something to defend yourself.

Riding Crop && Mortar / Pestle = CROP DUSTER

Your crop is now a hard white ceramic. As you swing it, little flakes sprinkle off it.

Blech. You need something way better than that.

Crop Duster || Chemistry Set = TOXIC TRUNCHEON

Now your crop looks normal – aside from glowing a bright green. You draw a pair of matching gloves from your new coat and pick it up. When you swing it, you accidentally hit the lamp over your bed. Within seconds it dissolves into a puddle of goo.

Yeesh. You should leave this in your Strife Specibus.

--

EE: im back! SS: Did you make anything cool? EE: i made a bunch of new clothes! EE: and the hottest dress! :O SS: Oh man. I hope I get to see it. EE: maybe! EE: oh! gregs back! EE: im going to go see if he needs my server stuff SS: Oh, okay. SS: Be careful, Tiffany. EE: you too steve!

-- equineEngineer [EE] ceased badgering siliconSwashbuckler [SS] --

[collectivestuck-blog]

33

-- equineEngineer [EE] began badgering phaithfulPhysician [PP] –

EE: liz! PP: Tiffany! Are you ready? EE: liz my house is on fire! PP: Oh no. PP: Are you safe? EE: no! EE: MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE! PP: Okay. We’ll get you to safety. EE: HOW?! EE: greg was crushed by a meteor and my laptop exploded and now my house is on fire and there are meteors everywhere! EE: i dont know what to do! EE: i dont want to die! PP: It will be okay, Tiff. I’m going to rescue you, but I need your cooperation. EE: i dont understand! how is this stupid game going to help? PP: I don’t really understand either. But it does. PP: Greg and Steve are working on figuring out how this works. And they’re both waiting for you, worrying out of their minds. PP: We’ll get through this. Together. EE: …okay EE: what do i do? PP: I’ll walk you through it. Just keep calm. EE: umm PP: Right. House on fire. PP: Don’t panic more than you must.