Jul 9
AM I SEEING IT RIGHT???? THATS A FUCKING ANACONDA
#beast 💀
AUTHORS RISE
Where's my Erling Haaland Size kink fics 😭🙏🏻
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AM I SEEING IT RIGHT???? THATS A FUCKING ANACONDA
#beast 💀
AUTHORS RISE
Where's my Erling Haaland Size kink fics 😭🙏🏻
no one | erling haaland
summary: let it be a surprise. just fluffy and relationship shit.
note: i apologize if there’s any orthography errors, english is not my first language. plus tell me if this is too long or too short, cause i feel i got carried away but also feel like it could be longer. thanks!
if you’ve ever wished for something, it was that erling wasn’t as busy as he was most weeks. however, in days like this it was almost a blessing.
you had prepared a surprise dinner for the two of you, wanting to show erling your acknowledgment for how much effort he was putting into the world cup training.
you’d made a perfect steak, mashed potatoes, an amazing salad, and bought a good wine. you had until 8 pm to finish all the details.
it was 7:45 pm, you were putting on a good outfit, but not too much. you knew erling came freshly showered after training, but he came home in joggers and hoodie set.
why were you so nervous? you had cooked for him before, if anything was wrong, he’d never complain about it. he was the most thankful person you’ve ever met.
maybe it was the fact you were telling him you were pregnant. it could be.
you had found out that morning, an hour after he left. your period was two weeks absent, it wasn’t casual, you were worried. not for the pregnancy, but because it wasn’t something you had planned.
you knew he wanted kids. you’d talked about it. but not for it to happen now, it was somewhat obvious. he was in the peak of his career.
did you fear his reaction? maybe. your reaction wasn’t pretty either, you had cried, laughed and questioned your future, all in the span of an hour before you called your mom.
“why aren’t you happy?” her question made your stomach close, you didn’t understand the reason for your mixed emotions, “you’ve wanted to be a mom for as long i can remember. am i wrong?”
you shook your head, your mom’s eyes softened and she smiled with a relief sigh.
“i know it’s scary. i felt it too. but erling and you have a precious love between the two of you, why would something that came out of that love be bad?”
those words had resonated on your mind since you closed that call. she was right. erling loved you, that wasn’t a doubt. but did he want this as much as you did?
the sound of the door opening dragged you back to the dinning table, where you were awaiting for erling. you heard him leave his stuff on the floor as he entered.
“my love? wow, it’s smells incredible!” he said while walking towards the table. his eyes opened in surprise as he saw all your preparations. “you know our anniversary isn’t for another month, right?”
“i know, dummy. sit down” you greet him with a kiss and he smiles in your mouth as you do, “eat, tell me how it is”
“i bet my whole family this will be the best meal that my mouth is gonna touch,” he smiles, he doesn’t waste another second and took a spoonful of mashed potatoes into his mouth
he groaned with approval, that made you happy. at least he enjoyed his dinner before the news.
“i’m happy you like it.” you started to eat as well, you congratulated yourself in your mind, it was really good.
“like it? i love it. what do i owe this pleasure to?” he continued enjoying his plate as he ended talking
“nothing, i just know you’ve been busting your ass off due to the world cup. and i wanted you to know i love you. more than anything in this world.”
his hand got yours, and caressed it for a second before talking.
“i love you more. thank you, for this and for everything, really, you’re the best.” he smiled as he brought your hand to his lips and kissed it carefully
the evening continued with the usual routine of asking how his day was, if anything new happened in training, if he had the chance to talk to his family, etc.
“aren’t you having some wine?” he asked as he filled his glass with the red juice
“nop, i’m sticking with water tonight” your fingers wrapped around your own glass and took a long sip. you were trembling underneath the table, your leg shaking continuously
he continued to talk about some changes the team had made into the tactics, but you couldn’t focus on anything but the news you were about to give.
“do you wanna watch a movie? you can choose this one” he said smiling, but you flew out of your seat before he could even get up
“wait, don’t move. there’s one more thing.” you said as you walked—ran—to the kitchen for the little box you had made for the surprise
it wasn’t that elaborated as you would’ve wanted, but, it was perfect. at least for the short notice.
his smile grew bigger, “god, another gift? thanks, my love” you put the box in the table as he grabbed you and pulled you into his lap
“open it.” your expectancy showing through your words
his fingers opened delicately the box, you felt his body tense underneath you. his eyes scanned the content for a second before asking.
a stuffed bunny, a baby norway jersey, some baby mittens and the pregnancy test that stated “pregnant”.
“what— is this a… wait, what?” his words stumbled into gibberish, he couldn’t formulate a coherent thought
your eyes had started to fill with tears and your voice shook between your words
“i’m.. i’m pregnant. i know it wasn’t the plan but-” you were interrupted when he pulled you into a hug
“this is the best thing that could’ve ever happened to me” his voice cracked, your tears wetted his hoodie, your hands ran through his hair with caress
“do you really think so?” you asked after a few seconds into the hug
“of course, love. what else would it be?” he said as he took distance to look you in your eyes
“you are just beginning the best part of your career.” your explanation sounded so incoherent when it came out of your mouth
“do you think i care more about my career than my life with you? i’d give anything to have a family with you.” he cleaned your tears with his thumbs and a smile drew in your face
“fuck. i feel so stupid for even doubting this was a happy moment.” he laughed, leaving a kiss in the corner of your mouth
“i’m sorry if i ever made you think that. i’m more than happy to have a little bundle of us.” his smiled could heal every inch of your heart that had been hurting
“we’ll have a little haaland coming our way in 9 months…” thinking about it was one thing, but saying it out loud still felt unreal. the mere fact of knowing you would go from being two to becoming three made you weep with emotion all over again
“i can’t wait for it, you’ll be the best mommy.” his hands flew to your belly for a gentle rub, “but i doubt he’ll or she’ll be little. you do know i was almost 9 pounds at birth, right?”
“wait, what?” you laughed and shook your head, "well, i'm happy to have your giant babies."
"i'm happy you're having them." he left a kiss in your lips with sweetness before carrying you to the couch and started talking about everything he was gonna buy for the baby
THIS:
reminds me of THIS:
I'm sorry to everyone.
@gloryflarea (for you 🫡)
Erling Haaland Thunder Kick Football Meme
This explosive football parody design imagines Erling Haaland unleashing a devastating Thunder Kick with anime-level power and intensity. Featuring an exaggerated action scene, dynamic impact effects, and comic-inspired artwork, the design captures the unstoppable energy that has made Haaland one of the most feared strikers in world football.
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A tribute to unstoppable strikers, powerful finishes, and the feeling that whenever Erling Haaland steps onto the pitch, something spectacular is about to happen.
PEEPALS
I got your requests and I'm working on it!!! They're so cute and they'll be up soon it's just that eheheheh
It's my birthday tomorrow 🙈🫦so I'll probably post by tomorrow night or day after ehehehehehhe
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