what it's like dating lohen
ok.
so.
the thing we first need to get straight about lohen is that man has absolutely no sense of self preservation when it actually matters (probably pre story quest)
he'll walk into monster-infested ruins. Alone. Smiling. Gets stabbed. "...Huh." Pulls the spear out. Keeps fighting.
Medics: "CAN YOU STOP DOING THAT."
"Doing what?"
the 5th company was WORRIED for you when you started dating. because the lohen that THEY know once walked into a morning briefing like
Lohen: "Good news."
Entire company: "...No."
Lohen: "Today's exercise involves surprise attacks."
Entire company: "Please no."
Lohen: "Excellent enthusiasm."
you fell in love with the man who voluntarily exposed himself to concentrated dandelion pollen so he'd stop being allergic and now misses the side effects.
the confession was.. weird.
he tried to give you poisoned flowers and you never knew it was from him
eventually he had to outright say "i'm trying to court you"
When he asked you out, it was somehow even less romantic.
"You make surviving the day more enjoyable."
"...Is that your version of 'I like you?'"
"...Yes."
"...I'll take it."
bro is literally a golden retriever trapped inside a battlefield gremlin
The Knights expected him to become softer after dating. They were... technically correct. Around you. Everyone else? Still a menace.
Five minutes after lovingly holding your hand... He's hiding in a tree waiting to ambush Varka with a net.
Emotional range: 😊 You. 😈 Varka.
he's surprisingly clingy. not dramatically. just.. always touching you somehow. Holds your hand absentmindedly. Hooks a finger through your belt loop if you're walking through crowded streets. Rests his forehead against yours while thinking. Wraps an arm around your shoulders without realizing he's done it. If you're sitting beside him… Congratulations. You're now an armrest.
his love language is "i kept you alive. now kiss me"
brings you food because you forgot to eat.
repairs things before you notice they're broken.
walks on the side closest to traffic.
quietly checks exits every time you enter a building.
memorizes your routine.
Not because he doesn't trust you.
Because he wants to know where to find you if something goes wrong.
If you're injured?
He appears.
Nobody knows where he came from.
You barely finish saying:
"I think I scraped my—"
He's already wrapping the bandage.
his version of romance is "i found a really dangerous cave.... wanna go together?"
He genuinely thinks this is an excellent date.
Other ideas include:
hunting a lawachurl.
climbing Dragonspine.
investigating suspicious ruins
monster tracking.
"walking" (ends up covering twenty kilometers).
Candlelit dinner? Sure. As long as there's a monster nest afterward.
absolutely SHAMELESS eye contact. his sense of humor never improves either.
He already studies everyone.
His partner?
Even more.
You look up.
He's looking at you.
"...What?"
"Nothing."
"...Then why are you staring?"
"You smiled."
"..."
"...I wanted to see it again."
He says things like this with complete sincerity. Then goes back to casually sharpening a spear.
he's weirdly domestic. he loves helping with chores and claims it's "efficient"
Ends up making everything into a competition.
"Whoever folds laundry slower washes dishes."
"...Why?"
"Motivation."
Cooking together?
He follows recipes...
Exactly once.
Then starts experimenting.
"...Lohen."
"What?"
"...Why is there Jueyun Chilis from Liyue in the pancakes?"
"...Curiosity."
He trusts you.
Completely.
If you say: "I've got this."
He believes you.
Doesn't jump in unless you actually need help.
But if someone genuinely threatens you?
The smile disappears.
Immediately.
Even the other Knights suddenly become interested in something else.
He doesn't realize half the things he does are romantic.
Casually tucks your hair behind your ear while talking.
Brings you flowers because "they reminded me of your eyes."
Falls asleep with his hand still holding yours.
Remembers every tiny thing you casually mention.
Then acts confused when everyone calls him smooth.
"I just... paid attention."
his gifts alternate between a pretty flower, a rare ore, monster claws, handmade crossbow, expensive tea, incredibly toxic poison.
you eventually learn how ot be immune to his chaos
Everyone else: "WHERE DID LOHEN GO?!"
You: "...Ceiling."
Everyone: "..."
Lohen, upside down in the rafters: "...How'd you know?"
You: "You always hide there."
Lohen: "that's hot."
the 5th comany ships it so hard
his gifts are concerningly thoughtful
Normal people buy jewelry.
Lohen buys:
reinforced gloves
custom daggers
emergency medical kits
waterproof cloaks
specialized camping equipment
Then one day...
He quietly hands you a tiny carved wooden animal.
"...You made this?"
"Mhm."
"...When?"
"Couldn't sleep."
It's a perfect little carving.
You treasure it forever.
He pretends not to notice.
his pain tolerance is offensive. you asked him to rate his pain. he says 3. his arm is currently broken btw.
lohen usually sleeps like someone who's spent years in the field.
Very lightly.
One weird noise?
Eyes open immediately.
But if you're sleeping against him...
He relaxes.
More deeply than anyone has ever seen.
The Fifth Company notices he actually looks rested now.
One knight whispers:
"...They're good for him."
Another whispers back:
"...Don't tell him that."
varka's favorite hobby is watching you two be accidentally romantic in public.
lohen doesn't always say "i love you constantly". he says it. just differently.
"Tell me when you get back."
"Eat before you leave."
"I've already sharpened your weapon."
"Walk behind me here."
"Take my coat."
"You're tired."
And, perhaps his favorite:
"I've got you."
Matter-of-fact.
Completely unquestionable.
Because if Lohen says he's got you...
Then as far as he's concerned, the whole world would have to get through him first.
--
pls help me i'm falling down such a big rabbit hole for this man HAHAH GET IT GET IT RABBIT BECAUSE HIS CONSTELLATION IS
ok nvm.