#everybodyhasabrain

[everybodyhasabrain]

We can learn how to feel anxiety.

[everybodyhasabrain]

Giving trust to yourself is one of those luxuries you probably didn't know you were missing in life but now you'll never want to be without it again. It's like when somebody gives you a tanker full of truffle oil--then you don't even want your Cocoa Puffs without it. This is a luxury we've been carving a deep hole for in our lives. Every time we check, when we retext, every opinion we don't voice, when we avoid responsibility, with every emotion we question, we tell our brains: don't trust himherthem. We carve out a trust-shaped hole in our lives like that Phantom-sized gap in your garage. Château Margaux. Ambergris (is whale vomit). Trust transforms. Want to push your girlfriend away because you're afraid she'll leave you? You can trust yourself to handle being alone, so pour yourself into that relationship like champagne into a hot tub. Want to spend another hour rewriting that email to your boss because you're afraid you'll get fired? You can trust yourself to handle making mistakes. Launch that like a private space flight! Want to spend all day obsessing about whether you're secretly evil because of something horrible you might have done in 1999? You don't need to know! Trust yourself to share kindness in this moment. And trust only gets better the more you use it. Trust is the anti-antique, a Louis XIV you can actually sit in. Try to wear it out! You can't. Craftsmanship. Brain-made. Exceptional everyday. Tired of frivolous essentials? Give yourself trust.

[everybodyhasabrain]

[everybodyhasabrain]

When we talk about thoughts in our heads that we don't like and we want to get rid of, we often talk about just that: getting rid of the thoughts. But in many ways, that's the problem, not the solution. It can help to explore why you dislike those thoughts and what you're doing to unwant them. If you didn't want the sky to be blue, you'd need to spend a lot of time and energy getting upset about the color of the sky and trying to avoid it or control it. But the sky is just there. Like a thought, the sky can't do anything to you. But you can try (vigorously) to do a lot of (miserable) stuff to it.

[everybodyhasabrain]

Last week I wrote a bit about my past anxieties bubbling up since I started working for myself. This week, I wanted to share some of the things I do to manage them. Some I started when I still had a full time job, and I’ve just adapted them to fit my schedule.

Over a year of experimenting with different things, I’ve found that they work best when they’re:

Easy to repeat

Challenging, not defeating

Enjoyable (at least a little bit)

Flexible at different times of the day

Exercise

Before I started working from home, I was already used to running regularly (both inside and out) a few times per week. Running has been a huge part of helping me stay in shape and a great reliever of stress. The only downside was that it was hard on my knees, and I noticed the stress catching up with me after 5 years of active running.

Now that I have more flexible time and can exercise during the day, I decided I should try some different things. I picked a couple of routines from Nike’s Training Club app, and was completely destroyed after every workout for the first few weeks. It was working muscles I never knew I had, and I felt a pretty wimpy after lifting 5 pound weights for the first couple months.

Whenever I felt my weakest, I remembered how I absolutely hated running before I loved it. It just took some time, repetition, and patience. So I took the same approach with these new exercises, and repeated them 3-4 times per week, slowly increasing the weight and speed. Almost a year on, those 5 pound weights became 45 pounds. Never thought that would happen!

Eating Well

I never seriously considered changing my diet until I was really in control of making my meals for breakfast and lunch (my wife usually makes amazing Mexican food for dinner, so I’m usually happy with that). After years of eating cereal for breakfast and lunch out during work, I used my new found time to explore new habits.

For breakfast, I became an oatmeal lover. By itself, it’s not that much better than cereal, but add in a bunch of fruit, maple syrup, yogurt—and it becomes a healthy bowl of stuff that lasts me well into the middle of the day.

For lunch, I have a few rotating dishes I make. One is a sort of egg taco—with beans, corn tortillas, salsa and a bit of cheese. The other is a quinoa bowl, which I’ll mix with an assortment of veggies and protein-usually celery, black beans, tomatoes, and red peppers. They’re perfect for getting me through the rest of the day—especially for my workouts.

With all the meals I cook now, I try to keep the ingredients as low cost and fresh as possible. And I’m not too picky about making the same thing with the same ingredients every day. If a certain fruit or vegetable is in season, I’ll mix it into one of the dishes somehow.

Creating Stuff

I’m at my best when I’m making things, which usually means drawing or taking photos. So I try to make sure I have the tools to do one of those at almost any time. I have a small notebook and pen that will fit in a pocket, and a smartphone for taking photos when I’m out and about. Even during a busy day of work, I make sure to fit something personal and creative in. Otherwise feelings of self-doubt and worrying over accomplishments start to take hold.

I make little projects that keep me inspired often: a black and white photo series of city buildings, an illustrated portrait series of my favourite jazz artists, or a photo series of people and their favourite thing to cook. I think of the things I’m curious about, the tools I have to explore them, and figure out how to make something fun out of it.

Reading

I started reading in the mornings regularly a few years ago, when I still had a full-time job. It began as a way to limit my usage of my phone and social media, but it turned into something that is a big passion of mine now. Even if it was just 10 pages or so, it completely changed the pace of my mornings. Reading slowed things down enough so that I didn’t feel rushed every day.

Books that were short and easy to read were my starting point, and I branched out into the harder stuff later. Like exercising, I stuck to a simple daily routine and used that to grow. This year, I’m on my way to finishing 22 books! Here’s what I’ve read.

Cleaning

I saved this one for last, because it’s my new found thing that I secretly like. Since my workplace is my apartment, there’s a little more motivation to keep it clean and tidy. This doesn’t mean I’m spending all of my time wiping stuff down and polishing—it just means I put more effort into it, and I make a loose schedule.

I put things like dishes and clothes away when they’re washed as soon as I can, and make sure to clean tables, do laundry, and vacuum stuff at least once a week. I’ll organize papers or bills for part of the day if they’re piling up. It’s a comfortable schedule, and it works best if I do these things on slow work days—so I don’t have to think about them on busy days.

It’s important to note that I don’t do all of these things every day. But they’re handy chunks of routines I know I can use to manage my anxieties in a constructive way. Sometimes, I still have overwhelming days where few routines work. But it’s still something, and it’s been good to have a sort of ‘recovery toolbox’ I can pick things from.

If you’re starting your own recovery toolbox with routines like mine, I’d recommend starting slowly and simply. Some activities might clash with your work schedule and personal life—it’s important to be mindful of those when making any big changes. I’ve tried to make the most of what I had, and patiently worked up to the big stuff later.

– Matt

[everybodyhasabrain]

So everybody has varying levels of improvable mental health.

[ocdfree]

Hey, I thought I'd recommend this guy's videos at youtube, his channel is everybodyhasabrain he talks about tips for OCD and support. He also has a tumblr with the same name and a website and stuff, just something to check out!

Awesome stuff. I'll check it out. :)