saw a post about how early season 2 dean carried the guilt of his father telling him to kill sam if he can’t keep him safe from azazel and that hurt me deeply
imagine your father. the one who commands you. the one who tells you to protect your brother at all costs to the point of having to carry your brother through his childhood with both being a mother, father and brother. to learn how to change a diaper before you’re old enough to ride a rollarcoaster and then be told by the man you looked up to. the man who you’re deathly afraid of. that you need to kill the boy you raised. to be told that you have to take the shot to kill off the kid you love. god that would kill me. i’d sob i dunno
Chapters: 6/?
Fandom: Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Project Hail Mary (2026), Iron Lung (2026)
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: The Convict | Simon (Iron Lung)/Ryland Grace, Adrian/Rocky (Project Hail Mary), Ryland Grace & Rocky, Ryland Grace & Eva Stratt
Characters: Ryland Grace, The Convict | Simon (Iron Lung), Rocky (Project Hail Mary), Adrian (Project Hail Mary), Eva Stratt, The Hail Mary Computer | Mary (Project Hail Mary), Project Hail Mary Team | Petrova Taskforce Characters
Additional Tags: POV Ryland Grace, The Convict | Simon Has a Prosthetic Arm (Iron Lung), Found Family, He/Him Pronouns for Rocky (Project Hail Mary), Journey to Erid (Project Hail Mary), Everyone Needs a Hug, The Convict | Simon Was Raised In a Cult (Iron Lung), Eden is a Cult (Iron Lung), Engineer The Convict | Simon (Iron Lung), Happy Ending, Ryland Grace & Rocky are Best Friends, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Coltland AU, Ryland Grace and Colt Seavers are Twins, Colt Seavers Haunts the Narrative, Ryland Grace and Colt Seavers and Sierra Six | Courtland Gentry Are Siblings, POV Alternating, Mild Gore, no AI, Fuck AI, slowburn, Mutated The Convict | Simon (Iron Lung), Amputee The Convict | Simon (Iron Lung), Author Has Watched Iron Lung (2026), Author has not played the game Iron Lung, Ellie Iron Lung, The Anomalies (Iron Lung), Touch-Starved Ryland Grace, Touch-Starved The Convict | Simon (Iron Lung), Pilot The Convict | Simon (Iron Lung), This was supposed to be a quick joke fic why'd it get serious., Plot Twists, Alludes to death, Ryland Grace Has a Bad Time, Sick Ryland Grace, Eridian Culture & Customs (Project Hail Mary), The Convict | Simon Has a Bad Time (Iron Lung), Everyone Has Issues
Summary:
Inspired by: @emzebear (Bear) and a lot of various swap Aus, along with General bloody Mary content from many other creators!
Another convict is on loan for PHM, though after an accident it forces both Simon Eden and Ryland Grace onto the ship, and due to many complications Simon ends up in a coma for a long time. After he wakes up the Trio learn to live with each other in attempt to survive, some attempting to hide secretes from each other, eventually reaching Erid and have a few complications while attempting to settle down.
In short; An AU where Simon also worked for the Project Hail Mary, and was forced onto the ship alongside Grace, now the two of them have to learn to live each other in space, as they both recover from various trauma.
Forewarning: Alternating English and Japanese names, be aware. I've chosen to exclusively color Arachnus' and Arachnia's names so that people skim-reading (you know who you are /silly) don't get them confused. Most of this will be in reference to my rewrite project, but very little about his general character has been changed. This isn't another Venoct situation where he got flanderized with every successive entry, thank God... (Let's ignore the anime segments. It doesn't exist. It doesn't exist. IT DOESN'T EXIST.)
Oh hey.
Introducing the first entry in my trilogy of posts regarding Enma's generals. This one, as you gathered, is for General Tsuchigumo (Arachnus), leader of the Bony Spirits.
To start, I should probably explain the name thing.
Being a Classic Yo-kai, Tsuchigumo is his true name. However, due to the names encompassing a species of Yo-kai rather than individuals, the Classics need to go by an alternative name to avoid confusion with their kin. Arachnus chose his based on necessity, but he greatly prefers his true name and will accept "Tsuchi" as a nickname.
As a bit of bonus preface, I am drawing more inspiration from his source material (folktales told of the tsuchigumo and such and the lore behind the yōkai as whole), so if Arachnus starts pulling some weird shit you've never seen him do before? Know Level-5 are cowards (/hj).
Background
The tsuchigumo are a species of spider yōkai best known for their powerful illusion magic and command over the earth itself. Per their nature as purseweb spiders, they are very reclusive and spend most of their lives underground in tube-shaped burrows, only leaving if they absolutely must. Once they reach that age where they become Yo-kai, their diet shifts dramatically as they must now consume larger prey. It starts small, picking off large locusts and cicadas, but as they grow bigger, so does their appetite. They become too big, their subterranean home can no longer house them, then they flee into the mountains to seek better refuge. This comes at a cost, however, as none of the inhabitants carry enough meat to sustain them for long. Some tsuchigumo even start to resort to eating lesser spiders to stave off starvation and curb competition. Survival of the fittest, as they say...
Arachnus was different. If anything, he was the smartest among them.
While all his kin wasted their energy blindly hunting for what little sustenance they could find, Arachnus hibernated. The less energy he wasted, the more likely he was to bring home something suitable. No measly morsels, always the fattest deer or even bear he could find. His wits were the only thing that kept him safe when humans began encroaching on his territory.
Food became more scarce, now there was competition far faster and far stronger than any tsuchigumo native to these mountains.
If they wanted to survive, they had to risk it all for food.
Squabbles over feeding grounds became lethal, entire armies trudging through the mountain pass would go missing, and humans became all too aware of their not-so-friendly neighbors. They took up most of the tsuchigumo's only sources of food, and now they were forced to descend from the safety of their mountain hollows to feast on human livestock. Rarely any returned.
The desperation became so extreme, those that did survive ended up bringing the human farmers that tried to kill them to their nests to feed.
Arachnus would be the only remaining tsuchigumo left alive after hundreds of years of conflict between them and the human settlers at the base of the mountain. His size was far below how big he should have been at his age, so many long years of malnourishment made his molting cycle both slow and inconsistent. He resorted to decorating his den with the remains of his prey in an attempt to keep unwanted company away. He longed for the day he could be free of this famine.
But maybe miracles can happen...
Drowsing the day away, Arachnus would be stirred from his starved slumber to the disoriented sight of a towering figure approaching him.
The smell of rot was now joined by the stench of dankness, red eyes wide and peering down at him.
It was an ōgama.
Arachnus jolted awake, staggering to stand as he tried to ward off this behemoth fearlessly lumbering closer. His warning signs did nothing.
He was too weak to put up a fight, starvation sapping any energy he had to fend off against the toad hunched forward to examine him. He was on his last legs, may as well offer himself up to put an end to his suffering faster.
"Another Yo-kai... Just eat me and be done with it."
Hearing him speak made the ōgama back up and sit before him.
"Ah, you talk! Now why would I do that?"
"You came into my abode searching for food, no? This famine affects us all, but even a beast as clever as I cannot escape the food chain. Go on."
"Ah, I take it I'm not the only ōgama taking refuge here? My apologies for scaring you, little spider, but I am perfectly well fed. You need not worry."
"Then why walk past all of my warning signs? How do you know my weakness isn't another trick? What is stopping me from turning you into my next meal? Judging by your size, you could feed me for the rest of the month."
"Because I have seen you, little spider; the hunger has left you immobile and you are quite small for a tsuchigumo, you creatures never attack anything you know you cannot kill."
"Then answer my question, Ōgama; why are you here?"
"I came to see if you were alive, that is all."
This made no sense. Why did this ōgama care if he lived or died?
"What business is it of yours if I am alive?"
"Well, no creature deserves to die such a slow and horrible death. Say, I have friends in the village beside this mountain. I could acquire something for you to eat, if possible."
Was this really happening? An ōgama showing empathy for another creature? These things don't even care for their own species, and this one is stooping down to help a tsuchigumo? Unbelievable.
"Hah! An ōgama being selfless? I never knew such beasts could have a sense of humor."
"I have learned much on my journey to get here, Tsuchigumo. Are you implying you wish to turn away my charity?"
"...Very well, do as you please."
The toad departed the cave, only looking back once before hopping out the door and bounding down the mountaintop.
Arachnus went back to resting in his web, stomach turning as reek of the carcasses he surrounded himself with set in. He had barely any energy to clean his den, he was too tired and too hungry to risk stepping out any longer than a few minutes. He had to do it now, while he's awake. Maybe if he's lucky, he'll stumble across a squirrel or something to tide his cravings over...
By nightfall, the ōgama had returned to the spider's den, an unconscious cow held in his mouth as he dropped it before the exhausted Arachnus, and watched with pride as the spider was roused by the sound of a body hitting the floor of the cavern. As far as Arachnus was concerned, his unwanted visitor wasn't coming back, but he was pleasantly surprised.
"I've never managed to capture a cow this large on my own before... How did you find this? Why give it to me?"
"I'm not as greedy as my size would lead you to believe, little spider. Her human caretakers were more than willing to part with her, I went through the effort of incapacitating her for you. Go on, feast. You desperately need it."
He hesitated, but Arachnus couldn't resist long. Feeling the heft of the cow before him with a shaky forelimb, the way the skin squished under the pressure of his touch... Such thick, juicy meat... and it's all for him...
The hunger struck, and so did he.
Fangs pierced through thick hide, ripping the cow open so he could regurgitate enough digestive fluids to liquify the beast's innards. That process didn't take any more than a minute or so, and before the toad had even a second to say a word, Arachnus latched onto the open wound again to drink his fill. Oh, how delicious it was to finally indulge in such a feast.
"My, aren't you a messy eater."
That cow would be nothing but an empty sack of flesh and bone by the time Arachnus was done with her. He sat back to take a moment to catch his breath, pedipalps working to clean the off his fangs. This was the most full he'd felt in decades, it was blissful...
He looked up to give the ōgama his thanks for this generous act, but he was gone.
The spider's little heart, weak as it was, metaphorically sank at that. Perhaps he hadn't noticed him leave? He made for some rather pleasant company.
Ah well, not much Arachnus could do about it now. Best get to cleaning this corpse, he had a new skull to add to his collection.
Maybe they'd cross paths again someday.
Ascension
The Yo-kai World (Yōmakai) was now under Enma's rule. It was time to bring its children home.
Thousands of spirits were called back to their home in the netherworld, eager to be granted their newfound purpose. Hostility in the human world had grown too great, which meant this was likely a call to arms. No more would Yo-kai be subjected to mistreatment at the hands of man.
During this time, two unlikely companions crossed paths again.
"Whoa, Tsuchigumo? I hardly recognized you, you've grown since we first met! Your stripes are coming in nicely."
"There's a face I never thought I would see again... Hello again, Ōgama. You've... also grown quite a bit."
"Bah, hardly any bigger, but thank you regardless. Enough about me, has your status improved at all?"
"I've managed to molt more than once since our last meeting, your aid was more than appreciated. Thank you."
"I'm glad my efforts were well spent. You look healthier."
"I am not in perfect health by any means, but I'm still surviving."
"Any improvement is a good one. Perhaps that was why you were called here? Maybe Enma took pity on you."
"Tch. I doubt it. We shouldn't waste time here, he awaits us ahead."
Upon arriving to listen to their new lord's order, Enma announced that he sought to form a council. Nothing extravagant, just some new voices to be seen and heard as they tried to shape this new rulership. Only a select few Yo-kai would be chosen for this role, Yo-kai that could be trusted with such power.
First there was the divine beast Kirin, then Yao Bikuni (Mermadonna), then the young Master Nyada...
Then came a decision that shocked everyone:
"You, little tsuchigumo. Step forward."
Arachnus approached, bowing before his master.
"Tell me; how long have you been roaming the earth above, little spider?"
"I know not, Great King. I know only that I have been left alone in my territory because of man's encroach. My brethren have all long since been slain or succumbed to hunger. I am the only remaining tsuchigumo on that mountain."
"Hmm, then you must be quite old among your kin. You are rather small for your age."
"Indeed I am, Great King. Many years of rationing meals has left me unable to molt often enough."
"Why have you been rationing meals, little tsuchigumo?"
"Humans have given I and my kin much competition for food. The others would spend days at a time, scouring the mountain and forest for something to eat, often wearing themselves down to the point of perishing. I conserved energy to allow longer hunting trips. It was not efficient, but it allowed me to survive. I suppose my absence in hunting has led to the wildlife population recovering once competition had disappeared."
"I see. You are quite a wise creature, little tsuchigumo. Being forced to navigate such an unfortunate situation has displayed your will to survive, but more importantly it has shown that you are smart enough to choose your battles. You would make a wonderful representative of your species."
"Me? With all due respect, Great King, but I am not fit for such a role. I am far too small and far too meek for a position of such high status."
"Ah, you misunderstand this position. You are among many Yo-kai who have suffered. Your experience is vital to understanding theirs. Your wisdom would be crucial in shaping this world to better, not just the lives of your kin, but our people's lives. Will you help me, Tsuchigumo?"
"...I understand now. It would be an honor to serve your council, Great King."
"Wonderful. Go now, Nurarihyon awaits you beyond the palace doors. He will oversee your care. I'm certain you are famished after your trip here."
"I-I appreciate the offer, my lord, but it is not--"
"No, I insist. You are terribly malnourished, after all. Please, indulge yourself. You are an honored guest here. Once your health and size has improved, we can discuss your role going forward."
"Th-thank you, Great King. This kindness will never be forgotten."
On that day, Arachnus became one of the first members of what would later become known as the Elite Yo-kai Council, among some of the most powerful and experienced Yo-kai in history.
Over time, his growth sped up now that he was no longer stunted by starvation. He went from a startling 1.12 meters to a much more believable 2.86 meters, all in the span of a year. Of course, molting in such quick succession exhausted him greatly, but now that his size had drastically improved Arachnus could finally feel his strength returning. He no longer felt so helpless, now he felt that he could take on whatever came.
Then began the War Between Worlds.
This was the war that divided humans and Yo-kai even further, as humans began openly expressing disdain for the spirits that shared this realm with them. Enma had warned them dozens of times before, but they refused to heed his word. Punishment must be dealt.
Yo-kai historians have documented the Bony Spirits general's performance in the war quite well. Arachnus was no longer the sickly little spider he once was, he had become a hulking arachnid with enough power to split the earth and move mountains. His command over the earth was second to none, reshaping the land to force the opposition to either travel further or walk away from the battle altogether. His aid was crucial in securing territory for Enma's armies.
To add to this, it wasn't just his earthbound magic that improved with his health. Arachnus' illusions were now stronger, more efficient, sometimes even so believable that his own comrades would sometimes doubt their own eyes. He was a threat beyond just physical, he didn't even have to be anywhere near the battlefield to turn the tides in his fellow soldiers' favor.
It was his invaluable support and knowledge that earned Arachnus his promotion to general. Once just a starving spider living on Mt. Middleton (Kiuchi yama), he was now one of the most highly respected and feared Yo-kai in history.
Humans realized they were incapable of fending off the power of Enma's armies, and so conceded defeat to avoid further casualties.
With peace reestablished in the human world, Arachnus and the other Elites retreated into the shadows until their strength would be needed again. That time would likely be sooner than he'd hope...
Yo-kai could now return to the human world, but safety was not guaranteed. Any Yo-kai caught causing disrupt to the daily lives of humans would be swiftly captured and sealed away. Many Yo-kai were too afraid to travel to the surface again, but others were too homesick not to return to their places of origin.
Arachnus was no exception to this.
He had to see how much his old domain had changed since he left.
New World
Returning to the land of the living after centuries of absence was certainly something. Much had changed in that time. Humans were less afraid of them than they had been in the years prior to the war that caused the divide, and many of them would rather attack than risk another Yo-kai causing a disturbance.
While traversing the old mountain he once called home, Arachnus stumbled across a new resident housed within one of the dozens of empty hollows left behind by the tsuchigumo who once lived here. It was an odd specimen; half-spider, half-woman, yet she had all the lust for blood as her relatives.
Testing his luck, Arachnus tapped a limb against the silk strung across the entrance, catching her attention in an instant. Upon further inspection, despite being so much younger than him, the Yo-kai was nearly larger than he was.
"Halt. You are not man. Have you come in search of a mate?"
"No. I've been exploring my old territory to see what all has changed since my departure, I was not expecting to find a creature quite like you. Do you have a name?"
"The residents below call me "Jorōgumo," I suppose that is my name. Am I to assume you are one of the tsuchigumo?"
"Right you would be in that assumption. If I may ask, what brought you here, Jorōgumo?"
"I was born here, likely long after you abandoned this place. What does it matter to you?"
"I see you are not faring any better than I did before I left this mountain behind. When was your last meal, spiderling?"
"I once fed on the soldiers attempting to climb this mountain, but their numbers have dwindled... Why? Were you going to offer yourself to me?"
"Quite the opposite. I was going to offer taking you home to the Yo-kai World with me. These lands are no longer suitable for us spiders, you would surely starve out here."
"Tch. Why would you, a tsuchigumo, ever feel the need to do such a thing?"
"I took inspiration from an old friend, I will say that much. I expect nothing in return, Jorōgumo."
"I suppose I could, but I will warn you once: if you so much as imply this is a trick, I will not hesitate to behead you myself, Tsuchigumo. Do not test me."
"I know better than to double-cross a female, you've no reason to distrust me."
And so we meet the Yo-kai who would later become Arachnia, the spider Arachnus would grow to love like a sister. Their bond started as mere circumstance, but Arachnia would later come to appreciate her relative for coming to her aid that day.
I won't go into much detail here on her, Arachnia is better explained in her own post and this is supposed to be about her brother.
During her time staying in his care, Arachnia would begin yearning to interact with humans in a less threatening setting. Arachnus, similarly curious yet far more cautious, would join her in her quest to see what human civilization had grown into in since they left this world behind. They would need a way to hide among man, something spiders like themselves were more than capable of doing.
The two spiders would spend an evening across the country, watching a pair of village guards, studying their bodies to get a better understanding of the forms they were about to take. Once they felt their efforts were sufficient, it was time for the test.
All of their limbs vanished, their eyes concealed and their exoskeleton exchanged for fair skin and soft hair. It was terrifying at first, feeling so exposed and defenseless, but for Arachnia it was second nature. For Arachnus, it was like he wasn't even himself anymore.
Their next step was learning how to appear human: learning how to walk upright on two legs, how to interact with them, finding clothes that fit, what to do when someone gets suspicious. Each of these was a task made only easier by their connections to the Yo-kai World and the residents there who were once human themselves, whom contributed much to this social experiment Arachnia was set on conducting. They would even spend the days helping one another maintain balance while learning how to walk in these forms.
Over time, Arachnus grew to enjoy this new form and the benefits that came with it. No more hiding away in a hole, now he could stroll into town without fear of being attacked by terrified onlookers. It was a lovely time.
Until the residents began noticing patterns.
Each day, this mysterious figure with black hair and a frightening gaze would come, wander throughout the village, then vanish. Something wasn't right.
One day, one of the locals would approach Arachnus pretending to need help with something. Not wanting to raise suspicion, he agrees. He would be led to the outskirts of town, and before he could question what he was needed for, he found a knife in his back, hissing in pain.
The man responsible for the attack stepped back and watched as this suspicious entity collapsed before him.
He did not bleed red.
No. It was not only turquoise, but ectoplasmic.
He was a Yo-kai.
They knew.
The blade was ripped free from his back, but before the man could attempt to strike again, he found himself yanked to the ground by the soil at his feet. By the time he could stand, Arachnus was gone. All that was left was a puddle of radiant blue blood.
Elsewhere, Arachnus had shed his clothes to try and bandage the wound. He thought he was safe. He thought he did everything right.
Not even this would be enough, would it?
Maybe it was just one person. It'd be different next time.
How naive he was.
The attacks would only worsen from here.
It started small, but the escalation was not gradual, rather exponential. One assailant became two, then four. It got to a point where his only chance at surviving was through either weaponizing his magic to drive them away, or turning his fangs on them.
He eventually had to abandon that village altogether for his own safety, but would it really matter? Unless he concealed more of himself from the public eye, only then would the attacks stop, but even that wasn't guaranteed. He spent all this time adapting to this body, all this effort on making himself look as human as he could, and it all amounted to nothing.
No more.
Until the day he's forced into the human world, Arachnus would not set foot in this realm again. He couldn't take it anymore.
But truth be told, stubborn as he is, it isn't impossible for him to change his mind.
Individual Headcanons
I'm doing this now because the nittier, grittier details are best saved for when I do the masterpost with him and Toadal Dude.
Arachnus' human form is not meant to be so restrained. His extra arms and eyes are supposed to be shown in this form, but due to how poorly it was received in public in the Yo-kai World, he opts to mask both features.
He is supposed to have natural claws in human form, but he keeps them either voluntarily filed down or hidden entirely.
His fangs seem to be the only socially acceptable part of him, so they stay out at all times. He will bare them if threatened.
In private, he'll often strip himself down to his hakama to let his other four arms loose, just so he doesn't lose his dexterity.
Arachnus is very likely somewhere on the autism spectrum. He's got a very sensitive palate, cannot stand fitted clothing, and has been repressing an oral fixation his entire life.
Soba is one of his most cherished comfort foods, and one of the very few foods he and Toad agree on when they're conflicted on dinner plans.
Arachnus absolutely hates raw fish, enough to the point just the smell alone will trigger his gag reflex. You'd hate to be present for the first time he actually tried the stuff.
Toad is the one responsible for helping him overcome his aversion to new foods, and has even succeeded in getting him to tackle his painfully low spice tolerance.
Arachnus, like all spiders, is sensititve to vibrations. He can feel any grounded motion within a 7-meter radius. Much of the Yo-kai population float unfortunately, meaning he has been caught off guard by Venoct and Kyubi on numerous occasions.
He is an avid bookworm in his free time, and is very invested in human literature. Any spare time he can find will be spent at the library or the nearest bookstore.
Most of his personal library is composed of romance novels, but he has found a new love for the mystery and fantasy genres.
Arachnus seldom enters his true form in the modern day, but his armor was fitted for his spider form. Any major battles will be fought in his true form.
And that will be all for Arachnus today. Stay tuned for the sequel to this post in the following few days, there's a LOT of stuff to go over with the generals.
This is rather short relative to how much I had planned, but that's because he and Toadal Dude are better discussed alongside one another. Toad will be getting his own post soon.
Thanks for your time and patience, and sorry that this took so long.
Another AU within an AU! I got a question a while back asking about what the worst ending for D is. It's this AU! It came about from a conversation between @alexthebordercollie , @whenalltheeyesopen , @ranchsoda92 and I. Thanks to @whenalltheeyesopen for this summary!
Okay, so time to summarize
Mad King D!!!!
How It Happens
The entire premise of Good Ending applies here up until the end of Project Deicide. The two Bill Ciphers die, the world is saved.
The difference comes right afterwards.
In the Good Ending canon, D lives on the Compound for years after Deicide, because the Eusophontarians feel protective of him. For a few months after Deicide, D is still devoted to the now-dead Bill Cipher; after a few months, he suddenly becomes disillusioned and his healing journey begins. H, meanwhile, has just killed his husband and lost a big chunk of everything he owns, so he's hiding from shame and suicide on the Compound as well. They live there for a decade and a half. Jean-Paul was coerced into joining Project Deicide and is kept on the Compound against his will for a short while, but eventually establishes his own life and is perfectly content; Oleander, LS, the Eus, and eventually D go out of their way to keep him from being coerced or abused again. Little Stan and Scalene live with them as a family. Big Stan comes and goes, managing his business but spending time with the others regularly.
In Mad King D, H moves back to 08 immediately. D goes with him, because he can't possibly be without H. Jean-Paul comes, too - he does not get a choice in this, because if D wants him, D gets to keep him, and axolotl save anyone who tries to stop H from making D happy. (D is still too delusional and out of it to fully register or care that this is unconsenting.) LittleStan and Scalene stay on the compound for a while and eventually go to 04.
At first:
H wants D safe and happy, so essentially D ends up in a perfect gilded cage. In Good Ending, the process of teaching D how to be an autonomous person is long and painful; in this version of events, though, H is much more interested in D being comfortable than in D getting better. Jean-Paul still occasionally tries to advocate for D, but for the most part, D is just living his life in a world of cushions, snacks, and little luxuries, exactly as delusional and unstable as he is in Main Canon.
Big Stan is trying to take care of D, too. He wants to take him away from H, but he physically can't; H is powerful and D doesn't want to leave. JP hates Big Stan in most of the post-Deicide Good Ending timeline; in this version, though, Big Stan is the only person left who's on JP's side.
H, meanwhile, throws himself headfirst into his old lifestyle of drugs, parties, and loose sex. However, H used to be an invincible god; now, he's an old man with poor body sense and blood pressure issues.
H dies within months, possibly weeks or days.
H's death:
Bill loyalist Ciphertologists get H drunk and then get him to overdose. Using necromancy, they make sure his soul can't escape to the afterlife and force him to be present while they torture and abuse his corpse in every conceivable way. H's soul is bound to a ratty, dirty doll. It isn't set in stone what kind of doll it is, but we're leaning an extremely girly puppet of some sort - puppet in particular because having a nice easy way to stick things inside it serves their purposes for what they want to do with it.
While the cultists are still abusing H's corpse, D walks in on them and instantly destroys them. The doll was on H's body, so he takes it; since it's the last thing that touched H, he can't bear to part with it. At this point he doesn't know that H's soul is bound in there.
The Early Days
In 08, whoever is the biggest gun is in charge. D is extremely fucking powerful, because his magical specialty is channeling Bill Cipher's weirdness magic, and that stuff leaked everywhere in 08 when Hill died. D is ruling ("ruling") 08 as a figurehead: he doesn't care at all about politics or leadership, but nobody can unseat him from this place where H lived before he died. He keeps Jean-Paul and the doll with him. The doll is sometimes perched on H's old throne.
Jean-Paul is miserable, and he still blames H for his misery. (I'd say it's not unreasonable - that guy kidnapped and enslaved him, leaving him to be inherited by an insane wizard.) Every now and then, when D isn't around, he'll kick the H doll.
One time, D caught him doing this. He immediately set JP on fire in a dissociative haze. A moment later, he comes to, and douses the flames in horror at what's happening to his friend. He does not remember that he did it or why he would have done such a thing.
JP doesn't risk that action again.
The Visit to McGucket
Jean-Paul eventually starts to figure out that the doll is H. When this happens, he's no longer willing to use that thing as a punching bag, because that's H, there is a person in it, we need to get him out!!! JP may hate the guy, but this is horrible!!!
He manages to get D to realize that it's H, and D is absolutely ecstatic. He is so happy! He thought his friend was dead, but he's not! Everything is good now. 🙂
JP: But we need to help him
D: Why? 🙂
JP: We need to get him out!
D: Why? 🙂
JP: Or- or at least get him the ability to move and communicate!
D: I don't understand. 😦
JP: ...He'd probably be happier if he could?
D: Oh! 🙂 Okay. 🙂
So, the doll gets taken to Fiddleford McGucket of 08, famed antimage.
Fiddleford is able to give the doll the ability to speak. Immediately, the doll starts sobbing uncontrollably.
D panics, and almost immediately that doll is no longer able to speak.
D: Oh. 😦 It can't speak. 😦 There's no way of ever making it speak. 😦 That's a shame. 😦 Oh well. 🙂
D cannot be convinced that what just happened happened, and he's too powerful a mage to be contained, so he takes his friends and goes home.
Fruit to the rescue!....?
Fruit shows up! 😄
What exactly happens to Fruit in the Deicide and immediately post-Deicide portions of the story is a little wobbly, but usually we have her in jail during Deicide. (She ate a political summit of about five hundred heads of state.) Regardless, she gets out of jail and comes to find her friends.
She finds Little Man and is really excited!! 😄 😄 😄
BUUUuuut he's acting kinda weird. 😦 😦 😦
.....
.......Okay really weird
..........And he's kinda scaring FuzzButt
Fruit and D hang out for a while, but Fruit needs to go feed her cats and D doesn't want her to leave. Fruit is insistent; she tries to take Jean-Paul and leave. D is not okay with this. D uses his godlike magic powers to restrain her and try and convince her to stay. When he can't do it, and when she keeps trying to get away - Ouroboroi are notoriously hard to contain - he makes sure she can't leave by turning her into a jade statue.
Before he does that, though, he chops off a big chunk of her tail. He needs that! Ouroboros meat is the secret to immortality, and he never wants to be separated from his friends. 🙂
Just Before the Wandering God Days
D is insane, needless to say. Jean-Paul is enslaved and spends most of his days trying to make H-Doll's life a little bit less of a living hell by reading to him, cleaning him, helping him keep up with the news, and showing him things he thinks he'd like to see. H-Doll desperately, desperately wants to die. Jade-Fruit, if she can think at all, is internally screaming with rage nonstop.
Oh, also, remember that Fruit meat? D is eating it, D is forcing Jean-Paul to eat it, and D is lovingly feeding it to H.
"But Eyes," you say, "H is a doll. How does he eat?"
Seamripper.
One day, D just wanders off into wilderness.
Wandering God Days
D begins to wander the countryside. This guy becomes the kind of thing you see in folktales: he'll show up at random houses and demand food and shelter. If you refuse, there's a fifty percent chance you and everything you own is destroyed and a fifty percent chance he sadly wanders off into the night.
D is easy to mistake for H, if you don't know what happened. He only wears H's clothes out of mourning. He ends up with only one eye after Jean-Paul's third escape attempt*. He has godlike power. Regardless of who you think he is, though, he's a creature of horrible portent: because he hates rain, he will drive droughts; he will murder people on a whim; when he "helps," he'll often make things worse. His "rule" is making 08, which was already a bit of a shithole, fall apart completely.
Jean-Paul's three escape attempts
JP is miserable, needless to say. He also doesn't have access to his medications or any mental health support, so he's... not okay. (This has only been referenced in veiled terms in the meta, but Jean-Paul has a psychotic disorder that was debilitating when he was young.) The only thing keeping him sane is taking care of H. This is no small task: in order to get the rotting meat out of H, he needs to convince D to let him take the doll out of his sight for a bit. He does this by convincing him that he needs to help H clean up, since he finds it hard to do now that he's physically disabled. (This isn't a lie or anything. Being a doll is a pretty big disability.)
The first time Jean-Paul tries to run away, D frantically searches for him, finds him, and begs him not to do that again. You can't run away, PG, he says. I can't be without you, PG. I feel like I'll do something horrible if you leave.
Jean-Paul is too scared to run again for a little while, but eventually, he does.
This time, out of terror that he'll lose his friend again, D hugs JP very hard to his chest, and magically fuses him there. For a while, JP just has to live as an appendage of D. He's eventually able to convince D that he's unhappy that way, but the trauma makes him so afraid of running away that he panics if D is even a little further away than usual or out of his sight.
(This is good news for D! He gets to keep his friend closer than before! 😊)
The third time Jean-Paul tries to run away, D tells him that he's going to do a ritual. D is scared of losing him again, and wants to do a spell so they can share sight. Jean-Paul doesn't protest because he can't.
Then, after setting up the ritual and preparing Jean-Paul, he scoops his own eye out.
This is freaky and upsetting to watch, of course, but nowhere near as upsetting as when D comes at him and JP realizes that he's next. He panics, and D has to hold him down - which is very strange of him! D did tell him he was going to do a ritual, why is he being so uncooperative now? 😦
Anyway, JP is still bleeding and in pain while he watches D eat his eye. Then, D takes his own eye and holds it out to JP.
JP tries to bolt away. D grabs and restrains him again.
D puts the eye in JP's mouth, but he spits it out. D ends up having to shove it down JP's throat, which is very difficult and unpleasant! 😦
To make matters worse, JP throws up!! D has to hold his mouth shut to keep the eye from falling out!
JP is convulsing and wretching, vomit leaking from the corners of his mouth, while D holds him still with a distressed look on his face, not sure why JP is so upset. Eventually, JP calms down enough to figure out that he has to swallow back his own bile or D is not going to let him go. He manages to swallow and keep it down with great difficulty.
Soon, the spell settles in. JP can see himself through D's eye in double vision with his own sight. It's very uncomfortable and dizzying.
What happens to the others?
Oleander is pretty fine. She's not happy about what happened to her patients, but what's she going to do? She keeps doing her job.
D is looking for Scalene, since he loves her and she's a connection to H. Oleander and the Eus are able to keep him out of the Compound, but regardless, Little Stan flees with Scalene to Earth; Big Stan helps him.
Big Stan will still occasionally visit D, but every time he does, he's afraid D will kill him or do something else horrible to him. It's not an irrational fear.
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That's the main body of this AU. There are several potential endings.
