u dont know how weird it is to be older the age u swore you'd be dead when u were 9

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u dont know how weird it is to be older the age u swore you'd be dead when u were 9
no matter how deep the abyss is, you'll still walk through it with me
i perpetually feel like i need to bash my head into a brick wall until i cannot feel anything anymore
i. hate this so much i just wanna write without worrying about it being a masterpiece without worrying about conforming to my style without overthinking every single stupid worthless line without having to be the best to be perfect even in this just like everything else in my life without comparing myself to everyone under the sun without fucking sucking at this so much i hate words i hate words i hate words
sometimes I'm sitting with my family & realize, I have nothing to say to them. I feel like it's not my place to sit.
There its coming... the sunday effect.
.
u ever just get so sad for no reason