Danny Trixter trying to fix JJ face paint, he might have forgotten about humans being very squishable compared to ghosts.
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Danny Trixter trying to fix JJ face paint, he might have forgotten about humans being very squishable compared to ghosts.
HELLO KIDNAP VICTIM!
THE CAPTAIN IS CURRENTLY INCAPACITATED AND I HAVE STOLEN HER DATA PAD.
Really? They put you in a closet? That kinda sucks!
Want some food? Like, uhhh... we got ration bars!
@evil-henchman-official
YES PLEASE I AM HUNGRY
Wheb can i leave ?
No. 54
////
Henchman and Villain / healing with a kiss
////
"And will you report this back to your Organization?" Villain asks before kissing the bruise on Henchman's wrist bone. The movement is feather-light, clinical in its quickness, and Henchman flexes his fingers to pull the sensation downward, away from their chest.
"Our organization," Henchman corrects.
"Yours," Villain insists, breath washing over Henchman's arm, "I am not a member by a choice."
"You failed to report the extent of your abilities," Henchman continues, holding back a shiver as the lurid blue-black swell of their arm dissolves into an even brown. The throbbing pain fades, echoing into his bones. "That's another violation."
"The ability comes and goes," Villain murmurs, running his thumb over Henchman's mended skin, testing it, "you must understand. I couldn't display it during the test."
"I'm sure you could've relayed it to one on of the proctors. They would've written it down."
Villain laughs, "Oh, but they would've demanded a demonstration and I would've had to give one of the proctors a smooch." His touch slid up Henchman's elbow and idled over the hand-shaped bruise striped across their bicep. "And it wouldn't have worked anyway. There's some prerequisites involved."
"May I?" He asks, his palm steady against the back of Henchman's upper arm. The weight of it should alarm Henchman, but the relief in their forearm is poignant; the chilly aftermath of Villain's power thrums beneath their skin.
Henchman nods and Villain leans down, setting a quick kiss in the center of the bruise, then another farther up.
Only two? Henchman thinks, in spite of themself. Over the blooming buzz of healing, Henchman focuses on the itch of each kiss, and considers wrenching their arm from Villain's gentle hold and stomping out of the room. They do neither and take a deep breath.
This isn't what they're here for.
"I won't report your power," they resist a stutter as Villain drops their one arm and reaches for the other, taking their hand in his own, "because it's low grade and non combatant, though I heavily recommend that you file your own report. If you're a registered healer, you'd be granted certain allowances during emergencies."
"I'm telling you," Villain huffs, bringing Henchman's hand toward his mouth, "that it doesn't work as well you think it does." He looks toward Henchman for permission before kissing their swollen knuckles. The sensation jolts up Henchman's arm. "My power requires a certain degree of camaraderie."
"Then I'm sure you could familiarize yourself with your squadron."
Villain flattens his forehead to the back of Henchman's hand and sighs, "that wouldn't be enough. Besides, I have no desire to be friendly with my squadron. I only intend to do my time and then leave as soon as Supervillain relinquishes his command of me."
"You would lose all of Supervillain's protections if you leave after the war." Henchman voice breaks off as they backtrack. Enough. Enough?
"I could care less."
"You'd risk your life and honor. For what?" Unease twists Henchman's gut. They imagine Villain, bereft of power, soft-skinned and bleeding mortal blood, somewhere far beyond the city's protective ring. To refuse the longevity and power granted by Supervillains was unthinkable.
Villain moves his head away from Henchman's hand and smiles, "I'm afraid that's something I can't tell you."
Henchman swallows, dropping their hand in their lap. Of course. If Villain had given them an answer, Henchman would've had to relay it straight to their higher ups. Villain was marked for high risk of desertion and mutiny.
"I understand." A tightness builds in their sternum.
"It's nothing against you." Villain places a reassuring hand on Henchman's knee.
Each touch feels like a brand. The next time they report to Supervillain, Henchman fears he will see every point of contact, every small indulgence they've allowed themself.
"Do you have any more injuries you'd like to me heal?"
Henchman shakes their head, though all of their aches bubble to the surface: the scrape on their back, the bruise on the crest of their hip, the creak in their knee. The prospect of treatments elsewhere, beyond the safer realm of their arms, dries their mouth and sends their chest ticking. Their foot rattles a stilted rhythm against the leg of their stool.
"Okay then, there's one last thing before we're done. Could you look at me?"
All too fast, Henchman does.
CW : Nonverbal Whumpee
Decay
"Behave yourself, Whumpee."
Whumper said before leaving Whumpee alone with his henchman. Whumpee just nodded, looking at Henchman with hopeful eyes. Wishing that he wouldn't treat them like Whumper did.
"What is it, little one?"
Henchman asked, chuckling softly as he ruffled Whumpee's hair. Whumpee just smiled, feeling a bit better with him. Maybe if they were being really nice to Henchman, he would help them get away from Whumper? Whumpee could tell they were a nice person.
Henchman crouched down in front of them, tugging their lips opened with his thumb. He shook his head in sympathy. "He really did cut your tongue, huh?"
Whumpee nodded, watching Henchman stand up straight again. "Poor kiddo. Do you want to eat? Or do you want to take a nap?"
Whumpee reached for their pen and paper, scribbling down their answer.
I have eaten with my Master earlier. He never let me take a nap, though.
Henchman chuckled. "Don't worry, kiddo. You can take a nap as long as you want."
Whumpee beamed up as they followed Henchman to Whumper's bedroom. He tucked them in and ruffled their hair for the last time before walking out of the room. Whumpee curled up in the blanket as their eyes drooping low, drifting them off to their slumber.
~
"Whumpee, little one, wake up…"
Henchman gently shook Whumpee's shoulder, watching as they stirred up from their sleep. Whumpee looked at Henchman in confusion but before they could say anything, Henchman pulled the blanket off of them, signalling them to get up.
Whumpee just obeyed, still in their drowsy state as they rubbed their sleepy eyes. Henchman brought them to the one corner in the house, where they could see Whumper's ceramic vase. Specifically a gift from his mother.
Henchman pushed Whumpee's forward, looking at them with a stern expression. "Break the vase."
He ordered and Whumpee could feel blood drained from their faces. They quickly shook their heads, not wanting to be punished by Whumper.
Henchman crossed his arms. "Do it, now."
Whumpee backed away, making Henchman got furious as he pushed them again roughly and took their hands from behind. He guided their fingers to grab the vase and Whumpee instantly let out incoherent mumbles with their desperate voice.
Henchman squeezed their hands tightly. "Stop saying nonsense and break the vase!"
Whumpee shook their heads repeatedly, tears were streaming down their faces. When they finally grabbed the vase, Henchman pulled them to step back a little, positioning the vase to be directly above the floor. Henchman gripped their shoulders, not allowing them to move.
"Let it go."
He ordered. Whumpee was doing their best to hold the vase, to prevent it from falling. But they were sweating bullets, their palms felt slippery against the ceramic surface.
Please don't let me do this, please don't let me do this, please don't let me do this
They couldn't do it anymore. The vase finally slipping away from their hands and crashed to the floor in a thousand pieces. Whumpee's sobbing got louder. They were so afraid of what would happen if Whumper found out.
Henchman was just smirking down at them. He leaned in closer and reassured them in mock-sympathy.
"Aww, look at what you've done. Whumper would be sooo mad at you…!"
Henchman laughed loudly, leaving Whumpee alone as they stared at the remaining pieces of the vase.
~
Whumpee wrote down their apology letter to Whumper, telling him that Henchman was the one who forced them to break the vase. They hoped Whumper would understand and believe them. They just needed to greet Whumper first before Henchman did. They would make sure Henchman got what he deserved.
As they were busy with their letter, Henchman put down a glass of milk on the table. A look of betrayal was clear on Whumpee's face as they looked up at Henchman.
But Henchman just feigned innocence, pushing the milk towards them. "Drink it. You must be thirsty after all that crying." He chuckled.
Whumpee pondered for a moment. They did feel thirsty, and it's been such a long time since Whumper gave them sweet drinks. Whumpee wrapped their fingers around the glass and slowly lifting it up to drink the milk. Henchman left the room and Whumpee continued doing their work.
They kept writing and writing until they suddenly yawned, feeling awfully sleepy. They tried rubbing their eyes but they just kept nodding off on their seats.
Whumpee rested their heads on the table, closing their eyes to sleep for a few minutes.
~
Whumpee jolted awake as they heard a sound of the door being slammed. They saw Whumper on the doorway, eyes full with rage glaring down at them. Whumpee's eyes widened, scared of seeing Whumper like that when they saw Henchman stood behind him, smiling devilishly.
Oh no, he did not—
Whumpee panicked, searching for their apology letter when suddenly Whumper grabbed a fistful of their hair, rising them to stand on their feet. With gritted teeth, Whumper spat out. "Henchman told me everything."
Whumpee could hear the sound of their heart beating so loudly to the point it hurts. To the point everything was hurting so much they barely could function anymore.
They tried to speak, desperately trying even though it came out as whimpers and whines. Whumper sighed in frustration, dragging them by their hair as their body slid across the floor to the basement.
"I told you again and again, don't touch that vase!"
Whumper unlocked the basement door, throwing Whumpee in and walked slowly towards them who immediately scurried away to the wall. He narrowed his eyes at them before grabbing one of his tools. "Give me those naughty hands."
Whumpee's eyes widened and they immediately hid their hands behind their back. Their fingers trembling and they silently pleading that Whumper would have some mercy on them.
Whumper frowned, taking a step closer that made Whumpee flinched. "If you don't obey, I will cut off your legs too."
Whumpee got more scared and panicked hearing that. They held out their hands slowly and hesitantly to Whumper. Whumper sighed softly, rubbing their tears with his thumbs.
"This will teach you a lesson."
~
Part 2
@nothing-but-glitter-and-lashes @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees
Orange cats are the henchmen and black cats are the evil masterminds, except they aren’t much smarter. People just listen to them because they have a fancier cloak.
Some people : "Oh the villain is so hot, I wanna date them / make them be better / be corrupted by them."
Me, an intellectual genius but emotional mess sprinkled with chaotic energy : "Let's date their second-in-command/main henchman. If this one can put up with their boss' shenanigans, they're at least prepared to deal with my shits."
A core tenet of the Henching profession is to do as little harm to civilians as possible. If one's personal opinion differs from this, we condemn you as an employer; we will not back any Henchmen that refuse to play The Game.
(We would normally include any relevant bylaws etc. but <wild gesticulation towards modern administration>)
A powerful member of the Union of Henchmen has this to say:
"Jesus H Christ himself was the best henchman ever, and he still had a stable job before being literally nailed to a cross. He built it himself y'know that? Q carpenter, and one learned of a mortal at that God damn. Pardon the blasphemy; Yeshua asked it of us at literally every party he attended. Belaboring the point but He [Yeshua] kept insisting on the creation of some falling blade device. He'd just assaulted some bankers, was yelling about some "FRENCH REVOLUTION" and we chalked it up to cave-shroom-soup."
A glory capitalism to you all. And die.
UoH
Greetings and salutations!
Hello! I am a recently graduated henchmen from Henchmen college, looking for work to fulfil most of your evildoer needs! My skills include: - Organising and sorting your evil schemes - Ordering in things for said evil schemes (chemicals, vats of acid, shark tanks, etc) - Making sure you lighting in the lair is dim enough to be mysterious and evil but still workable in! - Drawing up graphs for your evil inventions and machines - Will always tell you how evil and devious your plans are - Can push and press evil levers and buttons (very important) - Will do an evil laugh along with you if asked I am happy in any field ranging from a low-level goon/minion to an assistant for villains and mad scientists the like if you give me a chance! Thank you for your time and have a wicked day! ψ(`∇´)ψ