HenchmenForHire

Hello! I am a newly graduated henchman looking for mad scientists and evil villains to work for! Evil ask box open! (this is just a blog for funsies to escape the horrors TM)

[henchmenforhire]

Greetings and salutations!

Hello! I am a recently graduated henchmen from Henchmen college, looking for work to fulfil most of your evildoer needs! My skills include: - Organising and sorting your evil schemes - Ordering in things for said evil schemes (chemicals, vats of acid, shark tanks, etc) - Making sure you lighting in the lair is dim enough to be mysterious and evil but still workable in! - Drawing up graphs for your evil inventions and machines - Will always tell you how evil and devious your plans are - Can push and press evil levers and buttons (very important) - Will do an evil laugh along with you if asked I am happy in any field ranging from a low-level goon/minion to an assistant for villains and mad scientists the like if you give me a chance! Thank you for your time and have a wicked day! ψ(｀∇´)ψ

[henchmenforhire]

Hey, my henchman isn’t very active… he’s been lethargic and sad…

do you know what I could do?

Hmm, that is rather troubling, I'm sorry your henchman isn't doing too well :( There could be a number of reasons why he's not as active as he used to be- of course, it's always best to your henchman first! Ask what's wrong or what he wants or needs- that kind of thing! If not then maybe he's lacking enrichment- give him more levers and buttons to push, more (fake) plans to comedically mess up. Aaand if none of that works: emotional support lab pet. You have no idea how much that'll boost moral for both your henchman and your other minions if you have any!

[henchmenforhire]

Sometimes you just gotta put your lab rat pet in the naughty timeout cage for their horrid goblin crimes :/

[henchmenforhire]

Hello. I am a contractor who is interested in your services in the area of villlany. However, before any business, how may I know if you are as well trained as you claim to be?

Ah hello there! Thank you for contacting me!

I understand your concern but rest assured I am as well trained as I claim I am! If you need proof of this, I have a portfolio right here with all my evil doings that can (hopefully) assist yours! 🗂 As well as an official henchmen license! Though I know only some places need this 🪪

Aside from that, I've been training for the role of a henchmen for years now, as did my father, and his ather before him! It is a role I've been working to fulfil for years now! Hope all this is evidence enough ^^

[henchmenforhire]

Greetings and salutations!

Hello! I am a recently graduated henchmen from Henchmen college, looking for work to fulfil most of your evildoer needs! My skills include: - Organising and sorting your evil schemes - Ordering in things for said evil schemes (chemicals, vats of acid, shark tanks, etc) - Making sure you lighting in the lair is dim enough to be mysterious and evil but still workable in! - Drawing up graphs for your evil inventions and machines - Will always tell you how evil and devious your plans are - Can push and press evil levers and buttons (very important) - Will do an evil laugh along with you if asked I am happy in any field ranging from a low-level goon/minion to an assistant for villains and mad scientists the like if you give me a chance! Thank you for your time and have a wicked day! ψ(｀∇´)ψ

[science-bastard]

oh goodie! i happen to be hiring! :]

[henchmenforhire]

Oh splendid! That was rather quick (I was expecting to wait longer than this)!

I will admit, I am not entirely sure of the process for this, but I'm happy to send you my portfolio! Maybe an interview if it doesn't interrupt your schedule! (o゜▽゜)o☆

[henchmenforhire]

@edithsheerens unfortunately my area henchmen aren't granted to have their own evil lab/lair if they are not employed by a suitable evil yet :(

But I do have an apartment! I can show that if that suffices?

[omtai]

Wee guy got fucking vaporised. Who cares

[henchmenforhire]

told him to be careful with the shrink-vaporizer :/ we literally went over this in Evil Lab Safety 101

[henchmenforhire]

@edithsheerens Absolutely! He won't get away for long, I assure you!

(Or at least momentarily incapacitated so you can have future encounters if that's more your speed!)