i think the saddest thing about loki’s run journey into mystery is that he never really had a chance. no matter what he did it was always going to end the same way. but he still picked the option that would at least save everyone else.
@queenofchaos7 and @polizwrites asked for more on the cracky time travel AU and since the post would get way too long if I’d just keep adding to it, it’s got its own ‘verse name now.
So it turns out Captain America didn’t actually murder a god. [And now that Tony’s thinking about it, it’s really too bad that he hasn’t. That would’ve made one hell of a headline.]
As soon as he finishes his mini-freak-out which Tony will never admit to having had, he’s got the suit run a check. Loki’s definitely still alive though there’s still the potential damages from a substantial headwound to consider. For the time being he’s unconscious though, so Tony labels that a potential future issue and moves on. Too the much more imminent issue that is Rogers [and potentially Banner, Tony hasn’t missed their interactions that speak of a far closer relationship than their files indicated] is insane.
Also possibly brilliant if his jumbled explanation about breaking mind-control through a concussion is true. Unfortunately that’s just about all that explanation explains because--
“Loki’s the mind-controller not the mind-controllee. Why would your first response be to bash his head in?” But well. Tony’s been confused, in over his head and off his game since the get-go, but he’s also Tony Stark. And the scepter some SHIELD underlings have carried off gave him the creeps so.
“You think Loki was controlled by the scepter?” Romanoff asks, narrow-eyed gaze not leaving Loki’s body for a moment.
Rogers shrugs. “If he was I didn’t want to tip off whoever’s pulling the strings.”
Whoever, Rogers said. Tony presses his lips together before he says something he’s not yet sure how to articulate. Because granted, it sounds more plausible than the idea that the scepter is some sort of cursed artifact that acts on its own to a certain degree but they’re talking magic here and Tony is by no means its biggest advocate but that’s a very specific suspicion. Especially considering he’s implying that the scepter also functions as a monitoring tool of some sort.
Tony side-eyes Romanoff, but her expression is unreadable and whatever she’s thinking, she doesn’t seem eager to share.
“Okay,” is what Tony settles on because when in doubt agree with the crazy supersoldier who just knocked out a god. “But how did you know cognitive recalibration would work?”
It’s a good idea, Tony’s not gonna lie. But there’s something off about all of this, so much so that it’s itching at Tony and letting things go isn’t his strong suit.
Rogers looks him dead in the eyes and says, “I saw it in a movie.”
Tony’s still trying to decide whether the asshole is fucking with him or whether he’s serious when a deafening crack sounds and the floor beneath them wobbles dangerously. There’s a terrible tearing sound as a chunk of metal on the ceiling above them is literally ripped off and then a huge blond guy drops down into the helicarrier right in the middle of them.
Tony’s got his repulsors aimed at the stranger who is way too tall not to be an asshole before the dramatic cape he’s wearing even registers. It’s gratifying at least that Romanoff is also aiming a gun at the guy because Rogers and Banner sure don’t seem bothered.
That’s when Tony notices the hammer.
“It’s just not a good day to be mortal, I suppose,” he quibs. Then promptly regrets it when the blonde guy who Tony’s 80% sure is Thor -- as in brother of Loki, the guy lying unconscious at their feet, fuck -- snaps his head around and.
Beams.
At Tony.
“Man of Iron!” he booms because what use do you have for an indoor voice when you’ve already ripped a hole through the ceiling. “I am gratified to see you well!”
He takes two steps towards Tony with an air of determination that makes Tony want to turn the other way and run, which doesn’t make sense at all because this doesn’t seem to be an attack? A second later the foreboding feeling makes perfect sense when the guy who is probably Thor reaches him and pulls Tony into a hug.
Lifting him off the ground and all, which is just overkill and also Tony isn’t that fucking light, especially not with the suit on.
“What the fuck.”
The words come out muffled against the stupid cape. Seriously, what an asshole.
[Tony wants it noted down in the protocol that Banner, Rogers, Romanoff and Loki are no help at all and how sad is it that Loki is the one with the best excuse? At least Romanoff hasn’t lowered her gun.]
You: Steve blocked the infinity gauntlet for all of 3 seconds
Me, an intellectual: Tony, a non-superpowered individual went head to head with a Titan. He fought him with human technology he made and still managed to make Thanos bleed - a feat only achieved by him and Thor (a god). He also blocked the gauntlet with his two bare human, un-serumed arms and had time to pull one arm back (without being crushed) to form a sword which he used to try to stab Thanos. So, I stan (1) Icon.
Okay but now that Loki got over his adoption trauma and writes dramatic self-insert fanfiction theater for all of Asgard to see, there is no excuse why they wouldn’t make dumb ice puns at inopportune moments.
they refer to the last six years as having had "a little meltdown"
the first and most important requirement to be an avenger is you must have copious amounts of self-loathing. you’ve really gotta hate yourself. that decision you made? wrong. how you’re fighting? not good enough. you’re a monster and a savior and you’re saving the world but letting everyone down.
