an exploding lion primary
So. Uh.
Reading about Burnt Lions here has…it all sounds really familiar. As in ‘oh shit that me’. And it….it sucks. It really does.
I’m….trying to unBurn. I found a Cause that is right. But it’s-I am afraid of becoming awful via unBurning.
I’ve wanted to be a Snake or Badger for the longest time, but now I find myself looking at people, people I like, and thinking ‘if it’s you or my Cause, I’m dropping you like a hot rock’. And that just, it makes it really hard to actually care about them! To give a single solitary shit.
On top of that I’m-how do healthy Lions cope with people telling them they’re wrong? Or that they need to ‘show their work’ and justify the beliefs they hold?
I’m retreating from people even though I don’t want to because my Cause is literally an army of one and I feel so maimed trying to constantly fight to be allowed to believe I’m capable of being right about anything. The only way I can see to attain integrity of self is to just..stop loving or trusting all others.
I don’t want to be a huge jerk. It’s just I can’t see any other option.
Ouch. Sorry friend, but this really reads like a Lion primary in the process of Exploding. But you’re worried about Exploding. So that’s good.
I get that you’ve been Burned. I get that it hurt, and still hurts. But it’s not healthy or sustainable to think of yourself as an “army of one.” Lion primaries heal by going off on their own and sitting with their own thoughts, it’s one of their most distinctive characteristics, but this isn’t that.
It’s okay to think that your Cause is more important than your people. But here’s the thing - there are plenty of other people who also feel that way. They’re out there.
You ask me how healthy lions cope with people telling them they’re wrong, or asking them to show their work. My answer to you is - that you don’t owe an explanation to everybody. You don’t have to listen to everybody. Some people are toxic, and some people are not arguing in good faith. But you need to have some people - even just one person - who you respect enough to listen to. And what you’re doing right now, asking me what I think? This is good. I’m a person.
Sometimes you’re in a place in live where loving people - or trusting people, wow, relatable - is really hard. But so long as you’ve got people who you respect, you should be okay.