Here is a comic about being an over dramatic egg. Thanks as ever to the angels who support the comic I appreciate it so much.If you want to join them linktr.ee/tomorjudy Here is the script:
Everything is Somewhat Repaired: Glastonbury 2008
It was the year Amy Winehouse punched an audience member. Her set was incredible.
I had recently met Jane and we were running around like berserk kittens. I was in my pre-transition "cursed sailor" phase and had a new shirt.
Some kind hearted person called out to me "I like your costume". But the day had stretched deep into the night and this berserk kitten sailor was a sack of ragged nerves and unhinged ego.
I angrily yelled back "it's not a costume! it's just clothes!" It was rude and unkind and I'm embarrassed to think about it now. But I do think there's something telling there.
yeah, I was trying really hard to find a bearable way to be a boy and was defensive as all hell. In retrospect I could laugh it off, like If I was going to be in boy drag it might as well be fun, right?
For all it's scattered magic, that night I still wasn't ready to tell myself the truth. I was never a cursed sailor, I was a girl. But at the same time I desperately wanted my life to feel real and not make believe.
Footnote Thank you Jane for holding my hand tight, making the world wild and exciting, and us indestructible. that weekend. and still.