Feb 14, 2025
It's been three hours and I'm still giggling about "....belt."
seen from India
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Spain
seen from India
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Martinique
seen from Spain
seen from Spain
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Singapore
seen from South Africa
seen from India
seen from India
seen from United States
seen from Spain
seen from United States
It's been three hours and I'm still giggling about "....belt."
exandria unlimited: divergence: episode 1: it's bad here
nobody escaped the GOT intro unscathed, did they
ryback?
ruidis mentioned
that's so cool, I hate it"
I think I audited the wrong class"
elder dorf!
level 0!
I didn't know that was a thing
dex FOUR??
level No
matt. brennan. it's been fifteen minutes. are you seriously gonna make me cry.
I'm gonna fight brennan in the parking lot
this hallucination is gonna kill me and matt both
brennan child voice
this man has THIRTEEN HIT POINTS
this man has FOUR HIT POINTS
"she isn't a healer, she's a preserver" oh I like that
"it's the 20-sided one" alex
"you want my help this time?" I love Nia
this scene would start just as I sit down with food
"it probably just tastes like ash" "it ALL tastes like ash"
I love everybody in this scene. they're all gonna die so hard.
keph are you okay (no)
alex: would
these level 0 stats give me so much stress
ah, mordAurum. gold dragonborn. I get it.
oh. oh him big. him real big.
him still only got 10 hp
he has an intelligence of 6 he knows what he's doing
"a lost, giant child" :(
brennan is banned from putting children in his games
liam's face
"matt if you would like to have more than 4 hit points -"
ba ba ba, ba barbithrix
that's too many, put some back
liam r u ok
"we understand you have many infirm here" yes that's why it's called the infirmary
druid?? dwarf druid??
growing things!!!
hope symbolism!!
garen is making FRIENDS
the halls of partying
"party punishment?" hey I've seen most of severance that's absolutely a thing
LIGHT FLEAS
INFESTED WITH HOPE
not the lion king 2 "~deception~"
using the cough for good
oops, oversold it
stop! putting! children! in! hell!
alex: would
even evil has standards
"it's SO bad"
just wedge this poor big man in the wall
these dragonborn children are going to kill me
crokas is going to kill me
alex and matt keep giggling at the most sixth-grade things, I love them
"are you sick?" "of this shit? yes."
"like the flower?" "hurhgh?"
I did also think it was the flower originally
"I didn't name me" dskfjhslk
matt sounds like Billy Bones from the beginning of treasure planet
not the tragic sibling keepsake
liam mentioned the dice roll pendulum swing earlier and it is going to swing back SO HARD
bless bugs!
"until someone else's bones caught you" uncalled for
"what's your armor class?"
literally shoot first ask questions later
"what do you do?" "oh, fuck!"
ready for this tpk
"this guard died because his helmet stabbed into his brain"
100 years of frustration behind that swing
fine dwarven crafts
vomit action
"it's bad here"
"I don't think I did that"
oh not the trex rumbles
"it looks like fingers" no thank you!
no wait is it roots
IT'S ROOTS
"sticks." I LOVE HIM
he's old, that happens sometimes
"there's bugs in here."
ah.
what does THAT feel like in stone-sense
there is a god-fight happening upstairs
MEECES
FUCK YEAH MEECES
this is almost definitely stormlord & wildmother v strife emperor
roll that beautiful hammer damage
disabled dragon DISABLED DRAGON
"why'd you do that to your arm" crokas
HAMMER PUNCH
fuck yeah meeces
three what now
rip The Boys
"when it walks Exandria with a purpose"
"I saw him comin'." Can ya hear 'im? Those gears and gyros clickin' and whirrin' like the devil himself??
fuck yeah, apocalypse setting
everything in between gets you individual body parts
rip The Boys
matt stop helping
"are you weakest at the shoulder or the elbow?"
"I'm gonna faint" that's dungeons and dragons baybee
meeces!
they found their cheeses
fuck these six giants in particular
bugbear!!
hugbear!!
I will not get attached to starmian I will not
fuck yeah luck feat
hey in ferelden that cheese is a decent shield
"sorry, vox machina, git gud" liam
"a god's shinguard looking like the statue of liberty"
oregon trail ass checks
ah yes, the mythical rain
found the cannibalism
well I guess the hand-soup was already cannibalism
liam o'brien spellcasting flavor text my beloved
I! Love! Him!
alex
good pinecones
this is what happens when you put "death" in your literal name
brennan do we need this level of detail
I don't. I don't need this level of detail.
matt: I put the team('s rolls) on my back
"yeah, that's what happens when I talk shit"
rip nia
I will not get attached to starmian
this is why I did not get attached to starmian
his job is to be old and die so we can learn and be sad
"…shit"
"will you flee?" "would it help?"
"that is what strength is for"
vestige?? crokas get vestige???
"belt."
I love him SO MUCH
exandria unlimited: divergence: episode four: from eternity until forever
HOW many hours??
BABIES
I have no idea what's happening, I just looked up & saw sam's kids
oh, apparently sam's youngest is a they? good for them
y'all are gonna make matt cry
pullover hoodies my behated
give me zippers or give me death
"big."
"what else am I supposed to say about that"
matt who u textin
child? stabbed child??
"maybe she just hasn't slept in a century" mood
"oh you were homeschooled"
well that's one way to do it I GUESS
brb changing my bsky name to A Woman With A Ruined Vibe
A Cube of A Woman
"I know I cannot hear you but please hear me" :(
"keep faith in a god far away"
"strength starts now" bless crokas
the noise alex made about celia's unreadable dice
I have been tempted to title every single one of these posts Please Read Edda-Earth but like. please read edda-earth.
"she watches elton john perform in vasselheim"
"why do I call you boss when you're my mom"
crokas developed an existential crisis
well okay crokas has probably been having a crisis for a while, he just got 6 int and a month on a boat to put words to it
liam spent an entire campaign having a conniption every time sam refused to reroll a 1 and devoted his life to harassing halfling players
are you there key it's me fiedra
wait I'm only half paying attention are we sure it's him
okay yeah it's him
brennan should grade on a curve
if that's the last thing crokas ever says to fiedra he's going to throw himself into the ocean
"it's the perfect episode to kill people"
liam
well
WELL
giant monk shit GIANT MONK SHIT
THERE ARE NUMBERS BESIDES THOSE
THERE ARE. NUMBERS. BETWEEN. THOSE. TWO.
well.
this is SO EARLY for a break
I keep getting pulled away from my computer kdfjslk
garen in color??
crokas ready to just tear the city down
and he's valid
"don't clench so much" made me unclench my jaw dksjfslk
"laura bailey would be so proud of you"
near-death experience will do that to you
(let's play "did crokas mean 'boss' as a 'that's what I call my mom now' or did crokas mean 'boss' as 'too little too late, the status quo persists'")
(cooldown is the only thing tempting me into a beacon sub)
I Desire Updated Art
AGAIN? FUCKING AGAIN?
flashbacks to pike's stealth checks
MAP
I'm crokas and I can breathe in space
no plan survives contact with a -3 dex
"question about invisibility" "can you see it"
matt making a hallway rq
alex no you're not a vampire anymore
oh NOW a fly speed of 30 is awesome, matt
"I DON'T LIKE THIS [SHIELD]"
THE DEVIL? FROM THE BIBLE?
you can take liam out of orym -
brennan: please give me literally any reason to Exalt your vestiges
"I got to shut the fuck up"
STOP FIDGETING
liam's face is my face
"you have a better relationship with a key"
plot twist the kid is asmodeus
matt just had the same idea I did
okay but: if you know there's a chance the kid is The Devil, From The Bible, but you don't know for sure, do you still help the kid on the basis of That's A Kid
(I know they don't know but)
"I ignore hardness. With the hammer."
remove the pillar from the board
NOT THE GAREN V PILLAR MAP CAM
OIL CAN
not the godzilla laser down the gullet
aw, he did mean it as "that's what I call my mom now"
KEY
THE DEVIL
FROM THE BIBLE
"I don't care" is such a badass thing to say to The Devil, From The Bible
"I need to know what I don't know, right now" time to watch 400 hours of d&d content
can't bullshit a bullshitter
"YOU'RE A FUCKIN MACGUFFIN"
"add timothy to your inventory"
"I have an Exalted Timothy?"
his last act was trying to save garen
you can't make me not ship it
matt's not helping me not ship it
"in draconic, that erro taught him" lays in the floor
(they keep calling him "erros", that means something else, stop that)
"I lied 8D"
quietly passing alex a tissue
"don't fuck it up"
kephkedriel cult one-shot when
crokas walking the earth comic when
alright, who had Crokas Cobalt Soul
bend? swamp? stilben?
matt's been over here writing poetry this whole time
HA
matt like "the fuck are you doing now"
old 👏 man 👏 yaoi
ART
"gotcha :)"
dramatic tissue toss
ART 2X COMBO
"this world that you created"
if there's one thing liam's gonna do it's go straight for the emotional weak points
brennan just sitting back with popcorn almonds
liam's show now
if this is legit the last game set in exandria I'm gonna break down crying six weeks from now when they announce it
like I'm whatever about them moving on but this? this, in hindsight, will destroy me emotionally
exandria unlimited: divergence: episode three: dynasties and dystopias
First time doing this in notepad++ bc Fuck All That Noise, let's see how that goes
(context is microsoft is putting notepad behind a paywall)
the way it's going is I managed to get pulled away from my computer for the EXACT length of the ads lmao
yk I guess I could have used Sublime Text. ah well, I'm here now
one-shot of keph's cult when
oh celia's top is Nice
so is alex's
SO IS LIAM'S EVERYBODY STOP BEING PRETTY (don't actually)
otto no
this is just the mafia. this is how mafias start.
fiedra hugging their knees
"DON'T LOOK AT ME" mood
you can't make me cry about the kids fifteen minutes in, it's illegal
the colors in nia's art are so tasty
like a claddagh but a locket?
knowing mentor? not knowing mistress? am I misremembering something?
crokas is her kid now. joint custody with fiedra
you can't make me cry about the mom twenty minutes in, it's illegal
fiedra
AH knowing mentor same thing, interchangable god name
(I have not read Explorer's Guide to Wildemount)
okay but fast forward twenty years and torm's hill has a guard force called the seven swords
garen be nice
erro puts the team on his back
turn into goldfish and throw yourselves off
you're (mostly) level one, you're practically gods, it'll be fine
skeleton crab bucket??
"bones."
she's little, she's hard to see
"DANGIT"
"you're all under arrest"
why do I drink things while watching this, I inevitably choke-laugh
garen be nice
CAPTAIN GUBBLING
captain gubbling one-shot when
I am the snow guardian, guardian of the snow
"with our crosSBOWS"
"who doesn't like joy? you sort of have to"
GOD I wish I liked D20, brennan's NPCs are some of my favorite NPCs
"he left a boot"
"or drag a hoe" BE STRONG CELIA
(one time my brother and I got sent away from the table bc my dad kept talking about a "broken hoe" and we could not. stop. giggling.)
"is this the sea"
what is liam doing to his character's parents this time
dead parents AND dead spouse, he's going for a hat trick
crokas no
"you can't breathe down there"
crokas rushes in
if the only fire is a candle, the meal was cooked long ago
thee shield
"there has never been a week like this week"
liam
nat 20 to stealth into the trap
I'M SORRY WHOMST
YELLS
crokas solve puzzle
gee crokas how come mom lets you have TWO vestiges
patia counts, shut up
meanwhile nia gets thrown off the mountain
liana throws herself off the mountain
I was joking
I was JOKING
I stepped away, is the moonweaver hiding in liana?
oh, moonweaver WAS liana
please read edda-earth
OH nia is the proof of concept for clerics!!
moon bone cheek light bone hook hand car door man
"yeah! yeah we will!"
my roommate's been playing avowed and at one point I just turned around and went "is that fuCKING MERCER"
I just remembered that the moonweaver canonically tried to murder artagan for being a fuckhead
you broke crokas
did the orb give him an int point
it gave him SIX points!! it DOUBLED!!
can't wait for them to need those 20s later
ORB OF AVALIR
I didn't even clock the wis bump!!
no shut the fuck up immediately I will cry on you
HE MADE IT
I WILL CRY ON YOU
I STILL want someone to play cerrit's great-great-whatever descendant
"boarding a ship" shut the fuck your mouth
"I'm gonna end up carrying that, aren't I"
crokas is getting used to knowing things
"I don't know if I like smart crokas. he scares me."
does matt realize he's still "holding" the hammer
"I just realized how weird kephkedriel is"
is anyone here old enough to remember when windows would ask you Where Would You Like To Go Today when you turned the computer on
still no respect for crokas
them's ents
"would you like some magic nuts" BE STRONG ALEX
LIAM
alex fought so hard and liam just dove straight for the low-hanging nuts fruit
aw, I was wondering if he'd take draconic from the thing, I also like this better
they had to get at least one
"that's for the theatre people at home" "I'm right here" "go home"
ah yes, the magic 8 ball spell
not. what I was expecting.
"matt's running up to his bedroom"
yeet a tree onto the field
yeet a bunch of fire onto the field
matt just made me remember 311, I will be crumbling into dust presently
guys you're still only level one please
YOU'RE LEVEL ONE
GAREN ISN'T EVEN THAT
we love a tail attack
he remembered!!
BRENNAN THEY'RE LEVEL ONE
matthew
alex is in suffering
(matt and liam are having the time of their lives)
"laura bailey would be so proud"
do not say "mouthful of nut", do not say "mouthful of nut" -
dear The Dice please let him pull this off
shove IS a bonus action
aw, he can count now
"pelvically"
awakened shield!
"what time is it?" "it's clobberin' time"
dagger dagger dagger
well. crossbow dagger dagger
fuck yeah unicorns
these fucking nerds
I ship these old men so badly
thousand burning suns, etc
"flecked with white stone" I WILL CRY ON YOU
"I will cry as much as I am asked" "usually you have to pay good money for that" matthew
"I'm not carrying it"
ofc they made this silly moment heartwarming/breaking
alex you have to stop quoting stuff under your breath. I understand, I am that person. but also.
this is what breaks garen
big "ELVES CAME FROM SPIRITS" energy
"by road's end" BRENNAN
armley
his house is named sleevely
bc you keep your armleies in y- [giant hook yanks me off stage]
key's cursed
key punned, yeet the key
this is the lockpick thing merle had in balance
"I wish I was still dumb"
quick get fiedra a ukelele so she can apologize properly
MAH BOI
[elderly stammering]
garen get on that fucking boat so help me
GAREN GET ON THE BOAT
insight check the key
cross-examine the parrot
"whatdayisit"
exandria unlimited: divergence: episode 2: be the change you want to see in the world
pfft calling themselves out for the marathon ad read
the dragonbjorn
"this is where the belt goes"
A PAPER
either they have backups ready for when these guys die or they somehow survive
"crokas is a creature of legend" correct
I'm torn on the split screen bc I like being able to see their expressions but I miss seeing everybody else's expressions
"you don't have to worry about me" "s'my job" I love him
tall people privilege
liam getting to experience the full spectrum of dice rolls
FIVE?
roll for pneumonia
crokaaaaaaas
not to get distracted from everybody dying to death but matt looks really good in that shirt
"unless you're throwing something at us" always a possibility
gond :(
LIAM
"SIX :D"
brennan don't DO that
not the letter opener
what did brennan do to liam's backstory
he made liam's backstory a refugee camp
I mean even the slapdash medical training nia has would probably be a godsend
…no pun intended
"that one I can stop. I can't stop this." listen I'm already emotionally compromised you can't make me cry
I need art of this hobgoblin immediately
I need art of both of them
"miracles abound. we're all about to die!"
"we can put her on a shelf!" wild robot vibes
"you are family to us" what did I just say about making me cry
is brennan mean enough to kill the mom and make those crokas' kids now
every word that comes out of everyone's mouth is a death flag
"fiedra thinks she might have died and this is the line to get into hell"
"in which case she would also be looking for the other members of her gang"
not the fever hallucinations
"the ill-advised kindness of strangers"
fiedra goes in the overhead compartment
"unfortunately that pillow's a rock"
who's siri went off
oh god it feels like home
what did I JUST SAY
lmao the hunt for the booze
the dice said get fucked up
dwarf thanksgiving
where's grog
YEAH roll for meat
matt who u textin
wild how after one episode I'm more deeply invested in these characters than I was after 50+ episodes with bells hells (or whenever I quit watching)
(the crown keeper members don't count, I loved them already)
erro :(
crokas :(
"or if it simply clarifies a gift he already had"
go find fiedra, she needs protein
TIGER TABAXI
idk what non-copyrighted name they came up with for tabaxi, they're tabaxi
oh right I forgot about his arm
"just an old drunk" "well I LOVE this old drunk"
roll to prevent a riot
"congratulations, you didn't die!"
can you use ale to sterilize? is that a thing?
"let's not think too hard about that"
brb I have to go fight alex for his mug
…..is Nez's name a play on "pince nez"?
crokas is a Good Boy
fiedra threatening bitches with a boozy scalpel
medical dagger
"what?"
oh no it's cute
THE BOYS
not all the boys?
"I think keph might be like 200 years old"
keph joined a cult?
"we simply left"
"he's still out there" "don't say that. makes me feel bad."
crokas making sure nobody trusts that motherfucker
"your coterie" immediately looks at alex
"this fucking guy"
alex does such great faces
I hope this guy gets eaten
why couldn't he get fantasy pneumonia
fucking carpetbagger
quality ink and paper you say
"you say anything and I'm on him. that's my whole job."
"fuck! that! fucking! guy!"
I love when brennan says a lore thing and matt just nods approvingly
PHRASING, brennan
apocalypse lesbians
oh no, she's a bitch
"we thought it was the right thing to do, so we done it!"
bluray, got it
I mean if you've already been branded for it you might as well own to it
not the battlefield earth reference
"don't just give 'em to your friends!"
"the oxen are in it with us!"
he rolls like a beast when hammers are involved
marlath I don't know what you're doing but I know you need to fuck off
"he cheered too hard! he passed out!"
great now I'm crying about the bugbear
well. shit.
VOMIT WEAPON
MAP
everybody being so excited for their minis brings me such joy
he's old, it happens
"one of the kids" alex no
fuck yeah shovel guy
I need an anime-style crokas Battle Activating
yesssss put that shit in my VEINS
yes use the mug as crokas' mini
"he gives excellent piggyback rides"
"grotesque. I love it." matt gets me
how. how many hitpoints does erro have.
kenku!!
I'm love
"when they drop get their shit!!"
"kill that dick! take his sword!"
emotion-based power incontinence my beloved
GODZILLA BREATH
double it bc he's wearing metal armor
the godzilla laser charge noise
alex's dragon noises my beloved
THOR HAMMER THOR HAMMER
"we'll unpack this later!"
they get color art when they get their first level AHHHHH
"what do tens look like?!"
"nia is the ten!"
BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD
god I missed enjoying critical role
"miracles, when they touch the real world, get dirty"
nia you're a cleric now, fix him
kiri no
erro no
brennan he's not deAD YET
LIAM YOU'RE NOT DEAD YET
STAB YOUR WAY INTO YOUR FIRST LEVEL
RIP THE LEVEL OUT OF HIS GUTS
crokas saw fiedra do a stab and just sat straight up out of the dirt
MONK?
I did not see that coming. absolutely thought he was going barb
BITE HIS FACE OFF
roll chomp damage
"get karate chopped by godzilla"
I am pleased that the "guest gets hdywtdt" trend continues with all three of them
stonks
"be made again"
"that's what I get for getting cocky"
"he gets a plus three" "for why?!"
(I am not satisfied with that "they're soldiers", BRENNAN)
hey if we could stop this that would be great
ranger!!
"what's a spell?!"
vex'ahlia whispers across the eons: "hunter's mark"
tail attack TAIL ATTACK
MATT
CELIA
liam o'brien spellcasting flair my beloved
the way the skyrim level-up sound played from behind me just as nia came back up
otto!!
"I will never be brave again. that's the last time."
luz :(
I mean I love the narrative but. luz :(
matt.
crokas rumbling the water
(please look up alligators rumbling the water it's wild)
fiedra get your boy
what is on alex's cup that he can't have it on the table
or is it just Big
CROKAS
"…..WHAT."
the kids!
the kids have names!
celwyn and celdria!
what did I say about the crying
that's his mom now
"it means you saved us"
I was okay until I saw alex tearing up
(that's a lie, I've been a mess the whole time)
MARLATH
marlath over here trying to invent organized crime
they're gonna kick his ass
marlath
celia's little stabbing motions under the table
"it's too heavy to flip"
you can't flip The Table matt
I take it back matt flip the table
is liam gonna find a way to romance matt again
fiedra hatched him?!
nia don't do that
"don't let her leave"
garen's secret stash sdfjslk
tail-slap marlath
"gigantic monk shiiiiit"
well crokas and marlath don't have lips, so
matt don't punch brennan just bc he's being marlath
the stabbing with the pencil
not standing on the tail
FUCK YEAH FIEDRA
fiedra said cut capitalists' tongue out
"you should get that looked at"
smother capitalism in the cradle
"well. you're very frightening."
garen level??
alex settling in for Matt Storytime
"tough as nails. old as dirt."
know who I miss? dariax. I miss all of the exu crew but there's just something so delightful in watching matt-as-dariax.
[crashes in through the wall] there was CROWN KEEPERS CONTENT and NOBODY TOLD ME???
I cannot articulate why I love EXU so much, it's not NOT high fantasy but it's much more street-level than, say, vox machina fighting a literal god, but there aren't ZERO stakes as long as opal's having pizza and margaritas with the spider queen, and we don't get to see a lot of their development as we drop in on various points in their timeline, but it's very clear they would still jump in front of a train for each other, and it's 95% chaos but god that 5% dramatic hits like a fucking truck when it comes in, and and and
tl;dr exandria unlimited Good, please Give More