Whole Work Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death (described in detail), Rape/Non-Con (implied threat of)
Category: F/M, Gen
Fandom: Fallout 4
Chapter Word Count: 3.6k
Whole Work Relationships: John Hancock/Female Sole Survivor (Main Pairing), Paladin Danse/Female Sole Survivor, Edward Deegan/Female Sole Survivor, Robert Joseph MacCready & Sole Survivor, Sole Survivor & Nick Valentine, Arthur Maxson & Sole Survivor, Deacon & Sole Survivor, Preston Garvey & Sole Survivor, Sturges & Sole Survivor, Mama Murphy & Sole Survivor, Sole Survivor/Sole Survivor's Spouse, Father | Shaun & Sole Survivor, Synth Shaun & Sole Survivor
Whole Work Characters: John Hancock, Sole Survivor/Original Female Character, Paladin Danse, Edward Deegan, Nick Valentine, Robert Joseph MacCready, Arthur Maxson, Preston Garvey, Mama Murphy, Father | Shaun, Deacon, Elle Douglas (oc)
Additional Tags and Excerpt Under the Cut
Additional Tags: Commonwealth Minutemen, No Beta We Die Like Kellogg, Porn With Plot, Smut, Monogamy, Multiple Relationships, Canon-Typical Violence, Not Canon Compliant, Drama, Romance, Action/Adventure, Pining, Angst, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Found Family, Suicidal Thoughts, Hancock is Endgame, Break Up, Child Death
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Elle’s conversation with Nate had been decidedly one-sided, but nevertheless, it had been good.
For a while, she updated her husband on her life as he lay in his open cryopod. She spoke when she had a subject to discuss and she lapsed into silence to study his handsome, frozen face when she did not. She spoke of Shaun, of their marriage, of Hancock. She told him what had happened to Danse, and updated him on Nick and the Sanctuary crew. Elle discussed her family at length, letting Nate in on all the newest revelations she’d had about her father - ones she would have discussed with him long before, had he been around to listen as she had them.
She told him of The Institute, and explained what had happened to her during the assault on the Prydwen.
She apologized for missing him, if he’d been expecting to see her that night, in the afterlife.
She cried.
She laughed.
Finally, after an hour or so had passed, Elle Douglas decided that she was finally ready to do the thing she had been putting off for the last two years:
She floated the idea past Nate first, of course. Elle described the beautiful, sun-drenched valley below the entrance to the Vault.
She didn’t sense any disagreement, and so it became a settled matter.
There were some preparations she had to make, and some favors she needed to call in before she could accomplish her plans. With the clock on her PipBoy showing a little before high noon, she stood.
I've been very scared to pick up a pencil or to start writing... but I managed to do *something* today and it didn't turn out as bad as I feared it would....
The (nsfw) details for Kinktober 2023, Day 26 are just below the cut!
Minors, please don’t interact.
Pregnancy with Vault Tec Rep x f!Sole
This poor man deserves a damn break, and so here's this! The vault tec rep seems to have a little following of people that love him, and I'm here for that. If he's a sad ghoul, I love him too, darn it. So, here's a bit of love and softness for this sweet guy.
I hope you like it! <3
*Also, just a note, I used the name that Death Shroud headcannoned for him, cuz I couldn't fathom writing "vault tec rep" 70 or so times 😅 Plus... it's not the most romantic name in the world for someone to call their partner by.
So his name is David Dwecker. But feel free to give him any name you see fit! I really did like that name for him though, so that's what I went with.*
and if you haven't seen/heard Death Shroud, do yourself a favor and give it a watch! chadfallout76podcast is the creator, so be sure to check out their blog as well! I would link him here, but... He doesn't need to see this, lol.
Here is the link to my Kinktober 2023 Event List so you can stay up-to-date, or re-visit these works as you please.
Included: Pregnancy, pregnant sex, dancing, kissing, lovemaking, tiny bit of a voice kink, body worship, little bit of a belly kink, fantasies, simultaneous orgasms, creampie, aftercare, cuddling, so much sweetness, it might give you a bellyache.
Words: 4k
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Blue, speckled beams of light poured through the half-open window, bathing the room and highlighting the points of Sole’s face, the wisps of her hair, drifting with the pair’s subtle movements over the living room floor. Soft, sweet tunes, so delectable he could very nearly taste them on his tongue, weaved through the air, caressing their ears and setting their souls alight with romance.
She was warm and plush in his grasp, her arms wrapped around him tightly, hanging on his shoulders as the pair swayed with the delightful melody. Though Sole's face was a bit too far from his for comfort, it was a necessary deprivation, David supposed. The need for that distance being the great swell of his love’s stomach pressing into his as they leaned in close as they could.
The Vault Tec representative hummed along with the tune, some well-known romantic din with Sinatra or Nat King Cole or someone of the like, but he was too focused on her to decipher the exact words, the correct artist. David could feel the fatigue beginning to drag at her, felt her weight resting more heavily on his shoulders, and he felt his hands grasping more tightly to her hips, to help steady her pace, her steps, as they swayed about the room.
It was something he always made time for. No matter the work, no matter the life disasters and the fleeting time, he and Sole were never to miss a date night; and what was a date night, without a dance? Without song? Without this blissful closeness?
He swears, her state only made it more necessary.
She was everything to him, even when she wasn’t holding his very future within her. Now, though? He wondered if there was anything he wouldn’t do for her.
“You really are perfect, love.” David whispered, and heard her smile in the way she sighed.
“I don’t feel perfect.” She mumbled, looking down at nothing in particular. “I feel bloated and clumsy and sore and tir–”
“Sweetheart," He interrupted gently, "Why didn’t you tell me?”
He’d felt her growing heavy, sure, knew that she was fatigued, that bedtime was definitely upon them very soon– sooner every night as the months passed– but sore? She was in pain, and still danced with him?
“Come here.” Gently, David stepped back, keeping his hands in place as he began to guide her to their bedroom.
“I’m a little sore, not helpless.” She chided lightly, as he helped her take a seat at the foot of the bed.
David only shook his head as he bent to his knees and pulled her slippers from her undoubtedly aching feet. Despite her weak protests, Sole’s head fell back with a sigh as he began to massage over her and ease the soreness within.
The room was cool from the breeze that blew inside from the open windows. David could smell blossoms in the air, whatever grew below their bedroom window, so light and fragrant. The room was dim, with only one bedside lamp to keep the night at bay, but it cast a warm glow that only emphasized his love’s natural radiance. Crickets sung outside, frogs croaked from their place down by the stream, life teemed all around them and lulled him into a deep sense of safety, of belonging.
It felt… unfamiliar, fleeting almost, and something pressed to the back of David's mind, like a knock at the back door, like someone speaking to him through water, he couldn’t quite make it out.
Sole’s hand grabbing his shoulder pulled him from those thoughts easily, and they blew away like winter leaves.
“I can hardly feel my feet now, after that.” She smiled warmly, if not tiredly, her eyes half-lidded. “Thank you, baby.”
“No trouble at all, love.” His hands moved up her calves, squeezing and kneading as they went. “Any more… requests while I’m, um, down here?” He ended his question with a chuckle, as fizz seemed to bubble and tickle in his stomach.
You’d think, after all this time, as many times as we’ve been together, I wouldn’t get so flustered at the mere thought of it.
He couldn’t blame himself though, not when his Sole was, well… she was his everything. His home, his happiness, his family, his love, all wrapped into one.
David didn’t know a single person could be so many things to him.
“Kiss me?” Sole spoke up in a quiet voice, one that sounded just as bashful and breathless as he felt.
Another boon of her current state, he thought to himself, as his lips immediately pressed to the bare inside of her thigh. She was so needy when she was pregnant, she made him feel like a different man, one worthy of those heady desires. Not like he usually felt, like some Joe Schmo who’d only ever existed on the other side of someone’s front door. A man in a suit and a hat. No discernable personality, no passions beyond his subpar job.
She made him feel wanted, exceptional, desirable on more than a ‘average man who has a steady job’ level. It was a biological one, instead. She wanted him, in every way a woman could. And she wanted him, she chose him to be with, even with every possible alternative out there available to her.
That, beyond all things, made him feel truly... feral.
It was a state David Dwecker didn’t know he could find himself in, not ever in his life, but it was how he felt in this very moment.
He fought with that instinct as much as he could, taking his time moving up her body, being gentle with her, despite the way his hands shook and his breath picked up with desire. Her words had been clear, but vague at the very same time. Kiss her, yes, he could very much do that, but where? Down where he was kneeling? Should he rise up and capture her lips with his, kiss over her rounded belly? Should he just opt for all of the above?
Sole didn’t seem to protest, when he did in fact, decide to act upon that final thought. David’s lips traveled up over her thigh, his hands following the movement, asking, as they reached the hem of her sleep dress. His eyes met hers, voicing a silent question with raised brows, and she nodded, her expression already ripe with yearning.
His fingers glided along the soft fabric, swiping it up over her stomach, revealing her bareness beneath it. David felt his breath catch at the sight of her, her little belly button, mere days away from popping from the pressure of her growing stomach, squiggly marks lining the skin there, so lightly, so endearingly, her sweet folds, already glistening with that want that always astonished him.
“Beautiful.” He rasped out between kisses, “So beautiful.”
He felt the slight raise of her stretch marks against his bottom lip, and her belly quivered from her catching breaths. She didn’t have it in her to refute him now, not with arousal bubbling up inside her.
Sole’s hands went to his head, one caressing the back of his neck, while the other had fingers digging into his scalp, massaging him back in her own way.
Soft music drifted in from the living room, romantic and sweet as it met his ears. Her growing sighs and breaths were no less melodic to him, and he felt heat building and building beneath his skin. As such, David’s kisses became feverish, more hurried as his hands reached her chest and his mouth followed close behind.
Sole raised her arms up for a moment, allowing him to pull the dress completely off over her head. He couldn’t even pause to take her in, as he almost always did. Instead, his lips went straight to her now-bared breasts, mouthing over the warm mounds softly, so as not to hurt her.
David knew the way they must ache, and by the way she gasped as his lips dragged over a nipple, he held himself back from his over-impassioned appreciation of them. His arms braced on either side of her head, holding his body up enough that he wouldn’t put any unnecessary weight onto her, and finally, his lips moved upwards to meet hers.
This kiss was different from the others, sloppy and unrushed, exploring each other like they hadn’t a hundred times before this, and he felt affection wash through him, felt it ebb and flow like ocean waves within the sheltered harbor of their shared contact. Sole’s hands returned to him, nagging at his cotton t-shirt, until he pulled back to remove it in a flash. His lips returned to hers in an instant, incapable of being away from her any longer, as she gratefully explored his skin, running her fingers like lit matchsticks over his flushed chest, his heaving shoulders, and trailing blazing marks over him. David pulled breaths in between his teeth, straight from her mouth to his, tasting every last bit of her, of the dessert they’d shared, of the nighttime tea she’d sipped while he’d readied the radio for their dance. He savored all of it like this would be the last time he had the chance.
“I love you, darling.” He said into her, and Sole released a whine that sent surges of energy through every vein in his body. “There isn’t a single thing about you that I don’t love.”
“Mm, love you too, honey.” She gasped out her response, and he pulled back to let her catch her breath. “Need you. Need you, David, please.”
Her hands squeezed at his shoulders, dragged over the soft swell of his chest, pressing there and encouraging him downward.
He smiled, feeling a sort of prideful contentment swell inside him.
She needs me.
“Where, sweetheart? Where do you need me?”
Sole bit her bottom lip so prettily, looking away with a shy little grin; and though, at that point, she didn’t need to answer for him to know what she wanted, David waited with his brows raised in expectation.
“You’re being rude to your wife, Mr. Dwecker.” She said with a pout, and he could only chuckle, giddy at the way she spoke to him. The way she called him her husband.
It'd been long enough that he should be used to it by now, but how could he be? Every day with her was a novel event.
“No, come on, sweetheart.” David braced himself on one hand, so the other could press to one soft cheek, and turn her eyes back to meet his. “Tell me where you need me.”
A roll of her eyes and a bit of a whine later, and finally Sole broke.
“Need you in me, baby. Need you inside, need your… your cock.”
David’s breath caught at that, at her words. They were more than he could’ve hoped for, and he felt his head reeling, his cock aching in his pants, his vision clouding with a hazy little vignette at the way pleasure surged through him.
“Yes, ma’am.” He leaned down to kiss her one last time, short but passionate as he dragged his tongue over hers, and then backed away.
His hands helped her scooch further up on the bed, fluffed the pillows so she could lean back comfortably. He moved away, but for a moment, to remove his sweatpants and drop them to the carpeted floor. Then, crawling his way back onto the bed, he lovingly spread her soft thighs as far apart as they could go, and slotted himself between them.
Now, he paused, taking in the glorious sight of her.
Her thighs were warm in his hands, smooth to the touch, her hair was mussed against the pillow, her eyes half-closed, her chest heaving with her breaths. Sole was the very pinnacle of attraction, of vivacious, robust health that had him gawking at the marvel of her body. She was bursting with life and glowing like the rays of the setting sun. She was a natural wonder. David felt she could do anything, if she could do this. If she could love him, hold his entire future inside her, if, through everything she’s been through, and everything that she would go through still, she could be her tenacious, gentle, passionate, self, if she could be that and more, his Sole was surely divine.
To see her spread this way, just for him, he felt privileged, like he didn’t deserve to even lay his eyes upon her, but gracefully, Sole allowed it.
He would never squander that, David promised himself. Not when the baby came and he lacked sleep and sanity, not when she was weary and cross with him, not even when they were old and wrinkled and the world had changed beyond the point of recognition, he would always treasure the fact that he was the one lucky enough to be able to love her like she deserved.
“What?” He heard her voice through the haze of his own thoughts.
David blinked at her.
“What are you looking at?” She wasn’t teasing him, no, Sole sounded almost worried.
How long was I staring?
“Is something wrong?”
“No!” He said, quickly as his clumsy lips could manage. He still felt like he was in a dream, somehow. “No, sweetheart, just… can’t get enough of you.”
He scooted himself forward, releasing her thighs to let them fall on either side of him as his hips met her, and he let his stiff member rest overtop her pubic mound. One hand went to his erection, pressing it so the underside of his shaft would put pressure onto her clit as he began to rub it forward and back over her.
“Didn’t mean to make you nervous, love.” He said apologetically as he moved, “Sometimes, I just can’t believe this is all real. That we’re doing this, starting a family, that… that some schmuck like me gets the privilege of being with you every night.”
Sole’s breath caught, and he saw her eyes glisten in the dim lamplight.
“You’re not just some schmuck to me, David.” He could see the way she wanted to reach for him, to comfort him, but her gravid belly wouldn’t allow for that kind of movement.
He reached for her instead, leaning forward so his free hand could grasp with one of hers. She squeezed it tight.
“I love you, I want you, want this for us.” She was growing more and more breathless as he rubbed over her, and David felt her slickness beginning to collect on the underside of his cock. "No matter what you think, honey, you’re– ahh, you’re worthy of it. All of it.”
A groan left his throat at that, at the way his chest utterly ached at her words, as he felt emotion collecting in his eyes just the same. On the next rub of his length over her, he felt the tip of him catch at her entrance and, almost unwittingly, he pressed inside.
Sole gasped, and her eyebrows creased together at the sudden feel of him, but she opened up easily. Her wetness eased the way for him, letting his length slide all the way in on the first stroke, until his hips met the back of her thighs. David couldn’t help the lewd moan that left him. He felt heat rise all the way to his ears, felt a primal satisfaction warm his chest, tighten the muscles in his stomach, automatically causing him to begin little pulses of his hips against her.
Sole's walls sucked him in in response, her sweltering heat clenching until he felt like she was choking him. It was difficult, then, to begin his first few thrusts, as she tightly held onto him like a vise.
“Feel so good, darling, s-so warm.” His voice came out somewhere between a breath and a growl from his efforts, “So perfect.”
He took care, as she loosened enough for his pace to increase, as his words and actions made her gush more wetness onto him. David had to catch himself, had to make sure he was being mindful of her state. He watched her expression for any sign of discomfort, but all he could discern was bliss.
Sole’s fingers gripped at the bedsheets as she felt him spread her apart, rubbing against all those sensitive spots inside. She gasped and moaned with his attention, with his effort, with the heightened pleasure that her hormones only exacerbated. One free hand moved down to where they were connected, David’s fingers gathering a bit of her slick before he began to rub over that sensitive little point nestled in her folds.
Sole’s hips began to buck up towards him at the new pressure, and he tried to angle his hips along with her. He pushed forward just as she reared up off the mattress, rubbing the head of his cock as deep inside as he could manage, until he felt another telltale squeeze of her walls around him.
“D-David…” She moaned his name, and he thrust harder than he meant to.
“Hngh, yes, darling?” His voice was labored as he continued, feeling himself grow harder, more desperate, with every press into her searing warmth. “What is it?”
“I’m close, honey.” He saw the way her rounded stomach tried to clench with the pleasure flowing through her, how sweat had begun to shine over her glowing skin.
“Yes.” He nodded, breathless. “I feel it.”
David leaned back somewhat, his hands going to her hips to haul her closer, as close as he could manage, and he lifted her just a smidge to get the proper angle before he pounded against that soft, spongy spot at the very back of her.
Sole cried out, and he felt his cock pulse inside her tellingly.
“M-me too, dear.” David nearly choked, “‘M close.”
Sole couldn’t respond though, not with words, as she arched her back, as her hips stuttered and she came with a broken moan. He felt her wetness gush onto him, felt her body tremble in his grasp, and the pressure of her, that desperate, wanting squeeze around his member was more than enough to set him over the edge, and he released with a cry of his own.
David’s hips bucked shallowly as his cock pulsed out ropes of his seed into her still-clenching walls. His grasp on her was tight, the way his hands held her to him and kept himself steady, kept him from collapsing overtop her as his energy faded from a roiling flame into a pleasantly sizzling bed of coals.
Sole’s eyes were closed as he felt the last of his spend leave him, as he felt himself growing soft within her, and reluctantly, David eased himself out.
The air was suddenly cooler than he remembered, against his clammy skin, the wetness coating his hips. He shivered as he stepped off the bed and grabbed a towel from their bathroom. It happened in a daze, as he moved to clean them both, as he gathered the blankets together and wrapped them about their tired, spent bodies, and blissfully, he held Sole in his embrace as she drifted off.
He didn’t sleep right away. In fact, David found he couldn’t, even with his fatigue, he felt… a sort of unrest that made fear prickle beneath his skin. It was back, that whisper at the back of his head, that woeful sound that had his eyes wide and his heart racing.
Something was… was wrong, even though everything felt right with the world. With Sole asleep in his arms, with the cool night, the warm blankets, the crickets’ song outside, the radio droning from the other room.
Suddenly, David felt very far away from it all. Like he was in another’s skin, like this world wasn't his own. He was afraid to sleep, in case he woke up somewhere wrong, afraid to even blink. But he could only hold out for so long.
Then he was blinking awake.
The ghoul sat up with a start, feeling the blanket gather around his heaving waist as he looked wildly around the shadowy room.
It was a hollow ruin of his dream.
The smell around him wasn’t fresh blossoms, but stagnant water and stale dust. No cricket song poured in, only silence and the groan of the wind through bare tree branches. It wasn’t pleasantly cool, but cold with the drafts whispering through the cracks and holes in the shabby walls of the Sanctuary home he found himself in.
It all came flooding back, and sadness permeated his skin, his heart.
Slowly, with a shaking hand, David pressed the pads of his fingers to his scarred and textured face. His breath caught momentarily, but a movement stopped him from despairing.
Sole…
She was the commonality. The one constant in this world, and the one of his wildest dreams.
“Honey?” Her voice asked tiredly. “You okay?”
“Fine, sweetheart.” He whispered, all the warmth of his dream contained in those words. “I’m just…”
David turned to her, and leaned down before he could even finish, kissing her lips, her cheeks, caressing her with his time-ruined hands with all the gratefulness of a man that thought he'd lost his love for good.
Sole giggled at his attention, trying to kiss him in return, but he was too feverish, too unpredictable with his overwhelming affection.
“I’m so happy to see you.” He kissed her again, until she groaned against his lips.
“Mm, David, sweetie, I’ve been here all night, all week.”
“I know, love, I know.” He moved over her completely, and Sole wrapped her legs around him, rubbed her smooth hands over his shoulders.
“So, what’s brought all this on, hm?”
“Missed you when I was asleep.” He breathed against her neck, “Love you so much, Sole, I want… I wish…”
His movements paused as he remembered.
In his mind’s eyes, he saw her before him, he felt the delicate raise of her stretch marks against his lips, he yielded to the soreness of her breasts, moved slowly and carefully around the swell of her belly.
“What?” She prodded gently, and David blinked.
His throat was tight, his mind fearful, apprehensive.
“I… I dreamed we, that you…”
He looked into her eyes as his confidence wavered, and she made him feel brave. The affection he saw there… even when he now looked like this. After 200 years of suffering, after her hardship and grief, they’d both lived. Survived through it all and made it here, to this.
“I dreamed that we were having a baby.”
Sole stared with wide, vibrant eyes, first looking at him, and then at something far past him, deep in thought.
“Is that…” She started, being careful with her words, “Is that something you want? Something that’s… possible?”
He shook his head mutely.
“I-I don’t know if it’s possible, but… But I dreamed about it, and when I did… Well, it’s hard to think of anything I want more.”
Her smile almost caused him to faint, the genuine joy he saw there made his arms shake.
“Y-you think you would want to, well, that you might…?”
Sole was nodding even before he trailed off, and David’s grin mirrored hers.
A second chance. He thought, as he leaned down to kiss her, and she met him easily, pressing in until they were both breathless.
“I… I want to try, at least.” She panted out, “In all honesty, I’ve been thinking about it too. Just… didn’t know how to approach it.”
She leaned in and kissed him this time, her hands on either side of his face as their lips met in a cacophony of feeling.
“A family…” Sole breathed out with a contagious smile as her head fell back onto the pillow.
“A family.” He repeated, his voice firm, stubborn in the way it wanted this. The way he would dream and hope and speak it into his reality.
I’ve been feeling Gage lately. Enjoy more raider boyfriend stuffs. :)
The way you walk- regardless of how it is- in Gage’s eye; You are walking like the big, bad Nukawolrd OverBoss.
The way you sleep. He is a light sleeper. A very light sleeper. So, he wakes up a lot in the night and just watches the way your chest rises and falls with each breath. Listening to your snoring- which he says would scare even a Yao Guai away- in the silent of the night as the crackling of the nearby fire casts dancing shadows upon your face. Sometimes the feint sound of the nuka cola theme mixed with the noise you produce in your sleep- makes him feel just relaxed enough to doze off again.
The taste of your sweat coating his lips after he plants kisses anywhere on your body. Occasionally, he likes to nip, causing beads of crimson to form- which he is all to happy to lap up. At first you complained- not wanting the other raiders to see the marks- but, admit it; you missed it when he stopped- so you gave him permission to do it again.
Your protectiveness when it comes to him. Even though when the tables are turned- he would NOT save you from danger. Unless there was a guarantee he wouldn’t be hurt or killed saving you.
The way you defend his name when one of the raiders in Nuka world speaks poorly of him. Of course, the favor is returned 10 fold as anyone who utters a single bad word or opinion about you- has never been seen or heard from again.
76 with danse and a f!sole, please! - “three times i didn’t return your feelings and one time i did.” 👉🏽👈🏽
in this house, we love and support danse. <3
did this turn out longer than i expected? absolutely.
prompt 76: “three times i didn’t return your feelings and one time i did.”
-
Danse:
the first time, he was injured, taking an unexpected shot from a raider camping on the roof nearby.
“you’re hurt. lay down.” danse hissed under his breath as sole pressed down on the wound located on his shoulder. sole had dropped the bullet on the desk nearby her, grimacing at the sight of his blood staining it.
“i’m fine.” he bit back the sharp breath that threatened to release as he rejected soles offer. “it’d be a waste of time if we were to halt for such a minor injury.” stubbornness. of course. it was something that the paladin was great at and it was no mystery to the people who surrounded him.
sole shot danse a sharp glare as she forcefully pushed him down to the bed. “and it won’t be a waste of time. a few hours wouldn’t hurt, you know,” she let out deep sigh as she caught the harsh tone painting her words, “you always preach about me taking care of myself, i think it’s time for you to follow that.”
as much as danse wanted to argue, he couldn’t deny the fact that she was completely right. everytime she refused to receive care or neglected her health and well-being, he was constantly on her case about it until it drove her insane. instead of talking back, he remained silent as his head hit the pillow under him. “glad we settled that.” she laughed and ran her hand on his shoulder, sending a shiver down his spine. he closed his eyes, feeling her hands work on his shoulder as she cleaned it up and have it proper attention.
he hadn’t known how heavy his eyes were and how exhausted he actually was until the warmth and tenderness of soles touch lulled him to sleep. how long he had been out of it was something he couldn’t answer but felt himself wake him up enough for him to hear the words that left soles mouth. his eyes remained closed, showing no signs of him listening, but every word imprinted in his mind.
“you gotta take care of yourself, danse.” the way his name left her lips made his heart flutter, “i love you too much to lose you.” he wanted to say something, anything, but he laid still despite the urge to do so. danse felt the warmth leave his face, and a blanket being put over his body as he pretended to sleep during it all. “not that i’d ever say it out loud.”
she didn’t have to say it out loud. he had heard every single letter that echoed within the room, leaving his heart beating and mind full of wonders. instead of bringing up the topic the next morning, he fell quiet and pushed it away to the back of his mind as if he was never listening in the first place. there was no room in his life for a relationship, especially over someone he felt no romantic feelings for.
or so he thought.
- -
the second time around, danse finds out who he truly is. in the midst of chaos, all the people he’s ever trusted had turned their backs on him without a second thought, shunning him out of their lives. the reassuring hand on his shoulder was the only reminder that not everyone had the same intention of doing so.
“danse, look at me.” she crouched down to his level, watching as the former paladin leaned forward, hunching over the bed. he had concealed his face with his hands to hide the devastation that was written all over his features. he didn’t acknowledge soles presence nor did he respond to any of her requests, much to soles distress. “danse.”
silence only followed after regardless of her voice calling out to him. with a soft sigh, she peeled off his hands from his face, eyes softening sadly at the distraught expression written all over it. it takes her a moment to keep herself together before she can properly speak to him. her hands travel to either side of his face, caressing his cheek. “i know it’s hard right now, and i know you’re going through hell,” he tried to swallow the lump in his throat, eyes glistening with tears. sole notices this but doesn’t say a word, not knowing what was going through the former paladins mind at that moment. “but i will always have your back until the end of time.”
as expected, danse just stares at her with distraught eyes and gave no response. sole doesn’t take mind to this and continues, brushing her thumb over his cheek soothingly, “it doesn’t matter if you’re a human or synth, it will never change how i feel about you. you’re the most important person in my life danse, and you will never be nothing,” she fights back the tears that threatened to spill, knowing she has to be the strong one in this situation, “you can push me down a million times and i’ll always get back up. you won’t be alone. you will never be alone.”
her arms snake around his shoulders as she pulls him into a tight embrace, her hands gripping the fabric of his shirt. “i love you, danse. i will always love you for who you are and who you’ll be. nothing will ever change that.” he doesn’t acknowledge her words nor does he return it back, but let’s a tear slide down his cheek as he envelopes his arms around her torso.
those words lingered a little longer than the last time it had left her mouth.
- -
the third time, shes deadbeat drunk, nearly to the point of blacking out as preston supported her, standing in front of danses doorway. he held a nervous smile as he tried to let the words down easy, “sorry, danse. she got a little carried away.”
he cocked a brow up, irritation clearly plastered all over his face as his eyes flickered to sole for a mere second. “just a little?” preston smile died down as he shrugged awkwardly, unsure of how to respond. danse let out a small huff, stepping forward to take sole into his arms, looking at the lieutenant before shutting the door. “i appreciate your assistance. have a good night.”
he carried her to his bed, laying her down on the bed as she dozed off, not far enough to sleep. she still had the strength to remain awake despite sleep calling her name. danse went to the kitchen and brought back a bucket of water and a towel, setting it on the nightstand near his bed.
“what were you thinking?” he chided her, wiping her face down with cloth gently, removing any signs of alcohol. “i understand that it is normal for you to consume alcohol, but this is unhealthy, even for you!” he didn’t mean to be harsh- danse was just terribly worried. out of their time of being together, he’d never seen her like this, only going as far as seeing her tipsy and whatnot.
he noticed the guilt in her eyes and instantly regretted scolding her. “ ‘m sorry, danse. i didn’ mean to make you worry. just needed to take my mind off things.” she slurred with half lidded eyes, “don’ hate me, please. don’ be mad.” danse sighed heavily, placing the cloth into the bucket. he looked at her, his voice much gentler than it was earlier, “i’m not mad and i don’t hate you. just don’t do this next time, it doesn’t benefit you in any way.” he hesitated for a moment before speaking up, “feel free to speak to me. you don’t need to go to these measures to ease your mind.”
she stared up at him, and for the first time, he felt his heart beat in a way he was unfamiliar with. “ ‘re you worried ‘bout me?”
“of course i’m worried. anyone would be if the person they cared about neglected their health.” he felt himself pull back, a blush creeping onto his face as sole grinned softly, almost childlike. he had seen her grin a thousand times before, so why did it suddenly feel so different now?
“ ‘m glad you care ‘bout me.” she happily whispered, “next time, ‘ll come to you if somethin’s on my mind.”
“please do so.” he coughed, tucking her in so she wouldn’t be cold for the remainder of the night. sole continued to gaze at him lovingly, and he felt his chest tighten at the sight of the expression on her face. “i’m here for you.”
“thank you for caring ‘bout me. i love you, danse.”
those three words filled the air again, only this time it affected him in some way. the way his face turned red, his heartbeat rang through his ears, and how choked up he became when he processed them was entirely foreign. he couldn’t tell if he liked it or not, but it certainly didn’t feel unpleasant.
“rest, sole.” was all that came out instead of a proper response. she hummed in approval before closing her eyes in content. “m’kay.”
even long after sole fell asleep in his bed, he remained in the same spot he was in moments ago, unconsciously admiring soles features as one question lurked in his mind.
why couldn’t he reject her?
- -
out of all the times he could’ve returned her feelings, fate decided for it to be this one. danse swallowed the anxiousness in his throat as he waited for soles return, knowing that she was a day late from the date she was scheduled to come home. he tried to do anything and everything he could think of- build a cabin, mod his armor, mod some weapons- but the more time went by with no sign of her, the more he began to lose his sanity.
she never returned home late, even in the craziest of situations she found herself in, she always came back on time or maybe a little earlier if she was lucky. then again, in the commonwealth you could never know. he bombarded preston with questions, growing impatient at soles absence and demanding answers he knew the lieutenant himself didn’t know.
“i’m sure the general has her reasons, danse. you can’t put her down so easily.” it was prestons way of reassuring danse that sole was perfectly fine and would make it home regardless of the dangers out there. danse wasn’t convinced, not one bit.
he lied in bed, staring restlessly at the ceiling at images of sole popped into his mind. danse missed her smile, her voice, her touch- he missed sole and it was killing him inside and out. all his memories led up to the one that always seemed to linger in the back of his mind, but never properly confronted due to his cowardness. suddenly, he feels a burning pain in his chest as tears begin to rise in his eyes, a soft sob escaping his mouth as it reverberated off the walls to remind him of how much soles disappearance had affected him.
“i love you, danse.”
and it hits him like a train. he shouldve told her everything he’s felt about her instead of trying to push it away and avoid it with every fiber of his being. he should’ve held her in his arms a little bit longer and told her how much he appreciated everything she’s ever done for him and how much she’s changed his life. this pain was unbearable; he couldn’t breathe or think right and the tears fell uncontrollably as his words came out strangled for no one to listen, “come home,” he cried, “please.”
and when sole does come home the next day, he drops everything he’s doing and runs up to her as fast as his legs could take him, nearly pushing down any settlers that dared to block his path. before she could let a word out, she felt his arms wrap around her as he pulled her into a tight embrace, burying his head into her shoulder. sole had been caught by surprise, nearly losing her balance as the man nearly crushed her lungs out, removing any air out of her system.
“woah, woah. whatd i miss?” she’d joke, wrapping her arms around danse, who refused to loosen his hold on her. once she realized he was trembling, she pulled away, holding danse on both his shoulders, a look of concern on her face. he looked terrified and it didn’t suit him well. “danse? what happened?”
and just like that, those destined words left his mouth before he knew it. “i love you, sole. i’ve always loved you. i’m sorry for not saying it sooner, i-i..”
sole blinked in surprise, a blush spreading across her face at the sudden confession. “w-what-“ she couldn’t even come close to completing her sentence as danse interrupted her, stammering.
“when you didn’t come home... i was so scared.” he cupped her cheeks gently, his voice barely a whisper. sole leaned into his touch- it was so warm and tender. “i was so scared id never see you again. i was afraid of losing you.”
sole took one of his hands and placed a soft kiss on his knuckle, “you’re never gonna lose me. i told you i’m never gonna leave you alone and i meant it.” she whispered into his skin, “i love you too much to do that.”
danse pulled her in for another embrace, taking in her scent as she wrapped her arms around his torso tightly. he placed a soft, gentle kiss at her temple as he caressed her hair. “don’t ever do that to me again.”
