Last thought before I fall unconscious: human twins Roman and Remus find some tinies and treat them as toys. Roman dresses them up and makes them kiss like dolls. Remus straps them to the tracks of his toy train. Choo-choo motherfucker >:)
(that last line ‘Choo-choo motherfucker’ gets me every time oml XD anyways here’s the prompt for the week, posted a day early!)
Check out more of my writings at @hiddendreamerwriting!
Warning: gross. Remus being Remus again. Also injury.
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“Alright you two, that’s enough!” Their mother scolded, nearly booting the twins outside the door. “Go play outside for a while.”
Roman glared at his brother. “It’s your fault.”
“My fault?” The child in question gasped dramatically. “You’re the one who wasn’t playing right.”
“Fairy tales are supposed to have happy endings!” Roman stomped his foot.
“That’s boring.” Remus groaned. “Why doesn’t the dragon ever get to eat the hero?”
“Ugh, you’re so gross.” Roman stuck out his tongue.
“You’re the one that’s gross.” Remus stuck his own tongue out. “Who cares about a dumb wedding? That’s a stupid ending.”
“You’re a stupid ending.” Roman retorted creatively. He dodged, watching Remus bring his tongue closer. “AUGH! Don’t lick me! MOM!”
“Mom can’t hear you.” Remus taunted.
“Well then she can’t hear you either.” Roman said, giving his brother a shove.
“Augh!” Remus panicked, grabbing onto Roman’s sleeve and unbalancing them both to go tumbling down the hill.
“Owwwww…” Remus whined, having crashed them both into a bush. Roman was rubbing at his head as well. “That one was your fault.”
“Remus, shhh.” Roman blinked, spotting something just beyond their crash landing. Remus was mercifully quiet, noticing Roman’s conspiring smile.
There, in a clearing just entering the forest, the twins spotted four individuals each hardly larger than their little hands. The group sat atop a circle of mushrooms, levitating tiny teacups between them and giggling as their wings danced in the sunlight.
“Fairies.” Roman whispered, as if it wasn’t already obvious.
“I want the green one.” Remus decided, pointing.
“That’s not green, that’s yellow.” Roman rolled his eyes.
“It’s green if I want it to be green.” Remus stuck up his nose.
“Uh oh.” Roman hushed. “I think they noticed us.”
Indeed, there had been a fluttering of wings, and now the fae were all glancing at the bush that served as their hiding space. The one dressed in periwinkle petals took a few steps forward, trying to peer into the darkness.
On three. Roman and Remus seemed to agree, nodding with their twin telepathy. One…two…
“AAAAAH!” Remus came charging out, startling all the little things so much that it was easy to dive and surround all of them. Roman lunged his arm out, grabbing the one closest to the bush in his fist.
“Don’t crush them!” Roman protested, standing to emerge from the bush. He watched as Remus scooped them all towards himself and made a sort of basket with the front of his shirt.
Remus giggled, his clothing wriggling as he held the makeshift pocket closed. “They tickle.”
Roman couldn’t help but agree. Just the one trying to flutter out of his hand tickled his fingers pleasantly with its nervous struggles. “Aww, you’re so cute!” Roman cooed, bringing the fairy higher. “It’s okay, little fairy, I’m not gonna hurtcha.”
“I’m gonna take these back to my room.” Remus decided, carefully beginning to waddle back up the hill.
“Our room- hey! You can’t have all three!” Roman’s arms swung at his sides, jostling the fairy as he ran to catch up with his brother.
“Finders Keepers.” Remus teased.
“Well, I found them, so then they’re all mine.” Roman argued.
“You can have one.” Remus relented, the twins by now used to sharing, even if Remus liked to take larger portions. “And not the green one.”
“Yellow one.” Roman stuck his arm out. “Wait, stop. You can’t go in the kitchen, mom will see us.”
“…to the window!” Remus cried instead, running towards the side of the house. Here the twins could look through the glass, seeing their room perfectly split in half. On one side the walls were red, with Roman’s golden bed pressed into a corner and an army of stuffies surrounding it like a true knight. On Remus’ side the walls were puke green, and had an assortment of beheaded stuffies that were both his own and any of Roman’s unfortunate enough to find themselves on Remus’ side of the bedroom.
“Ugh, it’s too heavy.” Roman grunted, trying to push open the window with one hand. “I can’t believe I’m saying this to you, but open your shirt, let me put this fairy in too.”
As much as Remus liked taking off his shirt, he shook his head. “No way! Then all of mine will fly away.”
“All of ours.” Roman growled, already sick and tired of how Remus was trying to claim his find. “So, then what are we gonna do? We can’t have this one flying away, but I need both my hands.”
“I know somewhere you can put it.” Remus’s tone was too mischievous to be taken seriously, and sure enough a moment later he opened his mouth wide. The fairy in Roman’s hand really began to panic then, its eyes wide and a string of chittering bell sounds frantically coming out.
“Stop it, you’re so gross!” Roman rolled his eyes. He thought about closing Remus’s mouth himself, but feared being licked. Remus just laughed, amused at both reactions.
“Alright, um…” Roman looked down at himself, trying to find a solution. His pants had pockets, but none with buttons so surely the fairy could just fly right out. Instead Roman set the fairy on the ground, raising his foot up. The fairy gave a shriek so high-pitched it hurt Roman’s ears, but he just gently set his shoe down so that he was pining the fairy by the wing.
“There!” Roman smiled, proud of his solution as he stood back up. Roman tried to keep his footing secure, not wanting to slip and fall onto the actual fairy as he pushed against the bottom of the window. Finally the panel slid open, leaving a gap big enough for a child to climb inside.
“Me first!” Remus declared, shoving Roman aside to clamber on in. Roman pinwheeled his arms, trying to keep his balance. The boy managed to stay upright, but in his fight to do so Roman felt his foot twist, and the fairy gave another wail.
“oh no!” Roman sunk to the ground, quickly gathering up his fairy. His heart sank, seeing there was now a large tear along what had once been a pair of beautiful, shimmering iridescent wings. “Oh little fairy, I’m so sorry…” Roman’s sadness turned to anger, the boy climbing through the window with the tiny person cradled to his chest. “Remus, you dung beetle, you broke him!”
“Not my fault.” Remus shrugged, looking unapologetic. “You stepped on him.”
Roman kept muttering curses at his brother, setting his fairy on the window ledge while he closed the window. At least he didn’t have to worry about him flying away again.
“Don’t worry little fairy, I’ll help you.” Roman assured him, rushing over to his crafting table. He shoved the mess to the side, clearing a space as paints and glitters tumbled everywhere. “Nurse!”
“Nurse yourself.” Remus responded, busy on his side of the room dumping the other fairies into a pillowcase. He tied it up, giving the container a few shakes for good measure.
Roman grabbed the craft glue, pining the injured wing down with his fingers. The fairy tried to pull away but Roman just shushed him, smearing the sticky substance all over the rip. “Ugh, Remy, you’ve ruined it! His wing doesn’t look pretty anymore.”
“Can I have it then?” Remy came over, peering over Roman’s shoulder. The struggling case was dragged along at his side.
“No, he’s still the prettiest.” Roman declared, pulling out some rainbow glitter. He opened the bottle, dumping the contents onto the glue. “There. It’s…better.”
“It looks gross.” Remus stuck out his tongue.
“Whatever, you’re gross.” Roman looked at the pillowcase. “Remus, let them out, they’re gonna suffocate.”
“You promise?” Remus teased, but the two boys went over to Roman’s bed that was much more clean for the occasion. Remus gave the bag another shake, making sure the fairies were disoriented before dumping them onto the bed.
“I call the purple one- OW!” Roman flinched back, cradling his wrist to his chest. “It bit me!”
“Good boy.” Remus gave a pleased smile, grabbing the purple one to dangle by its leg so its teeth were out of reach. His other hand had possessively grabbed the yellow one, pressing it happily to his cheek.
“Whatever, you can have your messed up fairies.” Roman grabbed the last one, all dressed in dark blue. He seemed to match Roman’s other fairy anyways, almost as if they were meant to be a pair. “Aww, aren’t you cute~? I’m gonna make a home for my lil’ guys.”
“They’re not gonna want to live in one of your creations.” Remus gagged, thinking of his brother’s gaudy structures.
“They’re not gonna live at all if you try to make them a home.” Roman had seen Remus’ handiwork in the past. His dollhouses tended to be more like deathtraps, while Roman liked to make them into mansions.
“Is that a challenge?” Remus smirked. He wiggled the purple one back and forth. “Wanna test your luck in the death castle, little fairy?” The fairy hissed at him.
“Now-“ Roman used his decree-ing voice, sounding very official as he carried the blue one back to the crafting table. “If you two are going to be living together, we simply must have a wedding first.” Roman wasn’t sure if that was a rule, but it certainly should be in his opinion. Who doesn’t want a wedding? Why aren’t there weddings every day, anyhow? Roman had been asking such questions ever since the family attended the ceremony of a distant cousin earlier in the month, and his parents never seemed to give him a straight answer.
“Those are both boy fairies.” Remus pointed out. “You can’t have a wedding.”
“Boys can love boys!” Roman stomped his foot. He would just have to improvise. Roman grabbed his wedding dolls from his bin, holding the dark blue fairy underneath his leg while he worked to undress the dolls. Satisfied, Roman took the fae and shoved him into the tuxedo.
“He looks ridiculous.” Remus gaffed, watching as he sat cross-legged on Roman’s bed.
“Get off my side, you cretin!” Roman screeched, pointing to the other half of the room. Remus rolled off the bed, hurrying over to his side.
“Now, what to do with you?” Remus hummed, holding out both his fairies upside down. The purple one had begun to look a bit purple in the face, being held upside down so long. In fact, like this, Remus thought he almost looked like a popsicle.
What do fairies taste like, anyhow? Remus wondered, turning his fists upside right again to gain a better grip. Remus was no stranger to putting things in his mouth; he was a very curious child and would often test what things were by giving them a good lick. It was not surprising by this point in his life that Remus had consumed quite a large amount of dirt.
So, once the question entered his brain, Remus knew he needed answers. He lifted both of his hands, weighing them like a scale to decide who should go first. Of course, it was really no question, considering Remus had a favorite.
“Ah~” Remus let his tongue hang out of his mouth, bringing the yellow-green one up to his mouth and giving the fairy a big lick. Remus recoiled at the bitter taste, but the fairy’s reaction alone made it worth it. His hair stuck up wildly from Remus’s saliva, eyes wide with shock and mouth forming a perfect ‘o’. Remus gave a large belly laugh, nearly toppling over in his amusement.
“Alright, your turn.” Remus taunted, raising the purple one above his head to dangle above his mouth. It was already flailing, and Remus felt pleasure in watching its struggles increase as he lowered it in.
“Your turn for-? REMUS!” Roman shrieked, looking over to see Remus sucking on something and a pair of purple legs kicking wildly outside his lips. “Spit him out!”
“Mm-mm!” Remus shook his head, and though he cringed at the terrible flavor Remus couldn’t help but smirk triumphantly at his brother through his pain.
“I am not letting you anywhere near mine if that’s how you treat them.” Roman huffed, turning back to his work. The injured one seemed to be glued to the table, and Roman was trying to scrape it up with the edge of a paintbrush. The dark blue one was impatiently waiting in the overturned paint jar, pounding on the glass to get Roman’s attention.
Finally Remus spat the purple one back into his hand. It shivered in the air-conditioned environment, probably extra cold now that he was drenched in spit.
“Alright fairies.” Remus used his own voice of decrees, stomping over to his train table. “I think I know another game we can play.”
“Again, if you lose yours, that’s it.” Roman insisted, shoving a struggling periwinkle fairy into a wedding dress. The outfit had once been white, but Roman had long since scribbled over it in a rainbow of marker to try to make the ensemble less boring.
“They can take it.” Remus shrugged, pulling out some string. He disconnected a piece of track, tying the fairies to it with practiced ease. This was a common game they played, with Roman playing the heroes trying to save the damsel dolls tied to the tracks and Remus being the constructor urging the train on. When they played on Remus’ half of the room, the dolls often lost.
“Wait a minute, I’m nearly done!” Roman whined, not wanting to miss it despite himself. He threw some paper confetti into the air, watching it sprinkle down. “Okay, you’re married. Nowwww, kiss.” Roman took a fairy in each hand, shoving their little faces together a couple times to imitate a kissing motion. Their noses scrunched up, but Roman thought their lips touched once so that was good enough. “Okay my hero husbands are ready!”
“And my victims are ready.” Remus placed the track back into place. He grabbed the controller, turning on the train. The lights turned on and the machine’s whistle sounded, making both fairies tied to the tracks begin to squirm.
“Hey, maybe they actually stand a chance!” Roman perked up, excited by the idea of a happy ending. “I’ll set my fairies down, and we’ll see if they can untie them in time.”
“Fine by me.” Remus shrugged, already chugging his train along at full force. The rumbles it sent through the tracks made the struggles increase.
“Alright, go little fairies.” Roman urged, setting his blue fairies down. Instantly both fairies began tugging at the ropes, trying to save their friends. “So, how do we know if they lose?”
“The train crashes into them.” Remus grinned.
“Remuuuuuus.” Roman groaned. “You can’t do that! We don’t want to hurt them.”
“It probably won’t hurt them.” Remus lied, pushing the train to go even faster. He pressed the whistle again, watching all four tiny people jump. The train was getting closer, the clacking making the fairies’ hands slip as they struggled to undo Remus’ solid knots.
Roman bit his lip, trying to judge how far away the train was. If Remus was going to act all stupid again, Roman didn’t want his fairies to end up in harm’s way. The train rounded the corner, and seeing that the knots were nowhere near undone Roman quickly gathered up his fairies for safety. Both of them struggled, trying to get back onto the tracks the silly things.
“Choo choo!” Remus declared, driving the train full steam ahead. In three…two…one…
Both boys had very different reactions when the train rammed into the fairy’s side, only to harmlessly bounce off onto the tracks. Just like with the dolls, the train was just not strong enough to drive straight through and likely did no more damage than a little bruising to the yellow one.
“Fate chooses the side of good once again!” Roman gave a victory fist pump.
“For now.” Remus bent over, untying his living toys. He wasn’t that upset the train hadn’t worked; it only meant he could have even more fun with his fairies.
