#fake article

[therekinperson]

Aristos Edur for New! Magazine (20XX) aswell as an article detailing their popularity.

[grimsonandclover]

The Patrick article

Time to Breathe.

Years after his retirement announcement and barely being seen by the public, ex-pro tennis player Art Donaldson opens up about what he's been up to with his newfound free time in the first interview he's participated in since 2019. By Grimson Clover PUBLISHED: MAY 28, 2024

The drive here was almost therapeutic. The new Donaldson residence is far into the green of Ohio's rural landscape, a change from the hustle and bustle and concrete of New York where he last lived. Trees and grass stretch around the house like something from an impressionist painting from the nineteenth century. I can hear birdsong, for crying out loud. I have to pinch myself before I ring the doorbell.

It was shocking when I got an email a few weeks ago inviting me to his home, asking if I'm still interested in an interview. I'd asked him last in 2019, retirement announcement still fresh, and was met with a cordial decline from him and his now ex-wife.

Art is happily co-parenting his daughter Lily with aforementioned ex-wife Tashi Duncan. The walls of his living room are filled with Lily. Her birth and following birthdays, first days of school, picnics at the park, holding a racket in tiny hands for the first time. Like a sweet shrine to her.

He offers me a drink while smiling at a particular frame. "That's from a couple months ago; it was her first concert, Beyonce. She was buzzing like a live wire that night."

Art Donaldson, 36 and now five years into retirement, is lounging on his living room sofa before me. He looks good, like he never quit tennis-- but he also looks at ease. Peaceful. He's in a gray sweatshirt and jeans. He's ditched his shoes by the couch for socks, simple and white as he sits cross-legged on his couch. Arm up on the cushion behind him.

"You wanted to interview me, here I am." He smiles.

Clover Grimson Sweatshirt from Cassie Mercantile; jeans from Levi's; socks from Loewe; shoes from The Row

I could ask him just about a trillion questions in that moment. Why'd he retire? Why choose Ohio? Is he done with tennis for good? It's almost overwhelming, so I start somewhere simpler. "What's it like now, being retired?"

The sigh he lets out at the question, like years of pressure released from his back, is telling. "God, it's... fantastic. You know, the day after I announced my retirement I went out and ate the first cheeseburger in almost a decade. I have one, like, every week now. People take them for granted, I'm telling you." He shakes his head. "I sleep in," is added like a secret being told at a sleepover, "to, like, ten in the morning. I'm picking up new hobbies, I'm reading. I haven't had time to pick up a book since I went pro, and now I'm always in the corner of the house, hunched over like a grandpa, actually reading. It's the best."

Clearly, it's everything he's wanted. Art tells me about winning the US Open in 2019, the last professional tournament he'd ever play. "I went because I promised I would. Had no real hope I'd win, but it's cool that I did. Went out with a bang, I guess you could say."

You could say that indeed. That win got him a Grand Slam. Nothing small to shrug about, but he seems to. "It was never a real priority of mine-- at least not then. I know twenty-year-old me would've gone crazy if he found out."

I take that as my chance to ask the question we've all been thinking: "Do you plan on going back to tennis?"

He nods almost instantly. "Oh, yeah. Very much so."

Art takes me outside to the back of his house. To no one's surprise but my own, apparently, there's a small tennis court. "I teach Lily. She's been showing a growing interest. My little girl's not so little anymore. I might get into coaching younger kids once she outgrows me."

I make an honest attempt at hitting the ball when he serves it to me, but the first three misses and an almost twisted ankle reaffirm to me that I prefer writing about the pros instead of imitating them.

"What's it like being a dad now that you're retired?"

He smiles, looking off as he thinks about his daughter. "She's getting to the age where boys suddenly exist beyond her peripherals. Now I get to be there to help her, you know? Be a dad. I wake up, and the first thought isn't 'What time is practice?', but instead, 'How long 'till Lily's here?'. She's been my world since the day she was born, and now I can truly focus on that."

There's a small garden near the court, a variety of different flowers and plants blooming in the spring sun. I'm about to ask about his green thumb, but Art clarifies that it's not his doing. "I've got a gardener." He confesses almost sheepishly. "Lily likes working with him, she learns a lot."

"What's Lily's favorite flower?"

"Begonias."

"And yours?" I ask, already assuming the answer. He doesn't hesitate to answer. He picks his flower of choice and hands it to me, a small gift that almost has me swooning.

"Lilies."

Smooth, Donaldson. Smooth.

It's later on in the interview I decide to approach a more sensitive topic. One filled with rumors and stories from old tennis academy classmates, Stanford alumni, or people who've shared a locker room once or twice with the players. "Have you spoken to Patrick Zweig since your infamous challenger against him in 2019?"

Art's a very private person. Anyone will tell you that. The only detail of his personal life he ever willingly discloses is his love for his daughter. I know it would probably be easier to ask him to strip naked in front of me than to divulge his personal relationships (Which he once did. I know you've seen the Calvin Klein shoot he did a few years ago), but come on-- I have to ask.

He laughs, wags a playful but accusatory finger at me like he caught me trying to get the last cookie from the cookie jar. "Nice try. I saw your interview with him."

His next comment is what's really interesting, though. "But, yes, I have. He's a dear friend of mine, and I'm proud of his career-- Tashi and him make an amazing team. That's all I'll say on that."

I was told before the interview that the T-word was off-limits, so, sorry readers. I let him lead me back to the house, back to the couch, back to tennis. I ask him what first drew him to tennis, and he brings me home-roasted coffee-- a new hobby of his. It's incredible.

"My grandmother, mostly. She loved the sport when she was growing up, especially since back then it was even more prestigious than it is now. Her father, my great-grandfather, was a tennis player. I guess she passed that love on to me."

It's when the sun starts to set that the interview concludes. He thanks me for my time, and I have to remind him he's the one who set aside his day for me. Art's just that kind of guy.

"I bet you'll be back here in a few years," Art Donaldson gives me one of his signature half-smiles, the one that makes men and women alike trip over their feet, helping me pack up my things to go, "Interviewing the Lily Donaldson about her own Grand Slams. Or whatever she chooses to do."

"Whenever that is, I'll be the first to buy the issue."

[namiversee]

𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐉𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄𝐘 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 (4)

3/14/09

𝖩𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖩𝖾𝗋𝗌𝖾𝗒 4?

𝖳𝗁𝖾𝗒’𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗆𝗎𝗌𝗂𝖼 𝗂𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗆𝗈𝖽𝖾𝗋𝗇 𝗀𝖾𝗇𝖾𝗋𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇. 𝖯𝗂𝖼𝗍𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌: 𝗍𝗁𝗋𝖾𝖾 𝗉𝗂𝖼𝗍𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝖿𝖾𝖼𝗍 𝖣𝗂𝗌𝗇𝖾𝗒 𝖻𝗈𝗒𝗌, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗋𝗈𝗐𝖽𝗒, 𝖽𝖾𝖾𝗉 𝗏𝗈𝗂𝖼𝖾𝖽, 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗈𝗍𝗂𝖼 𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗇𝖽𝖾 𝗆𝖺𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝗉𝗉𝖾𝖺𝗋𝖺𝗇𝖼𝖾𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖻𝖾𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗅𝗂𝖿𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍𝗒.

𝖡𝗈𝗋𝖺 𝖫𝖾𝖾 𝗁𝖺𝗌 𝖻𝖾𝖾𝗇 𝖺𝗇 𝖾𝗇𝗂𝗀𝗆𝖺 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝗌𝗂𝗇𝖼𝖾 𝗌𝗁𝖾 𝖽𝖾𝖻𝗎𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗂𝗇 2005 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗅𝖾 “𝖣𝗈 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖣𝖺𝗇𝖼𝖾”, 𝖾𝗑𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗅𝗒 6 𝗆𝗈𝗇𝗍𝗁𝗌 𝖻𝖾𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖻𝗋𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗌𝖾𝖽 “𝖬𝖺𝗇𝖽𝗒.” 𝖡𝗅𝗈𝗇𝖽𝖾 𝗁𝖺𝗂𝗋𝖾𝖽, 𝖪𝗈𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗇 𝖠𝗆𝖾𝗋𝗂𝖼𝖺𝗇 19 𝗒𝖾𝖺𝗋 𝗈𝗅𝖽 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖺 𝗏𝗈𝗂𝖼𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝗉𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝗀𝗈𝗅𝖽, 𝗌𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝖺 1940𝗌 𝖻𝗅𝖺𝖼𝗄 𝗃𝖺𝗓𝗓 𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗋 𝗂𝗇𝗌𝗍𝖾𝖺𝖽 𝗈𝖿 𝖺𝗇𝗒𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖾𝗅𝗌𝖾, 𝗌𝗁𝖾’𝗌 𝖺 𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗍𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗌.

𝖲𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗆𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗌𝖺𝗒 𝗌𝗁𝖾’𝗌 𝖺 𝖻𝖺𝖽 𝗂𝗇𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖾𝗇𝖼𝖾 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖻𝗈𝗒𝗌- 𝗌𝗁𝖾’𝗌 𝖺 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗀 𝖻𝖾𝖺𝗎𝗍𝗒 𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗌𝖾𝗑 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗐𝗈𝗆𝖺𝗇𝗁𝗈𝗈𝖽 𝖺𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝖺𝗅𝗅, 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗉𝖺𝗋𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝗆𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝗆𝗈𝗋𝖾 𝖿𝖺𝗆𝗂𝗅𝗒 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗅𝗒 𝗅𝗒𝗋𝗂𝖼𝗌.

𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝗀𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗉 𝗂𝗌 𝗈𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗇 𝗌𝗉𝗈𝗍𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝖺𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗆𝗉𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗈 𝖽𝗈 𝗋𝖾𝗀𝗎𝗅𝖺𝗋 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝖽𝗎𝗅𝗍 𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗏𝗂𝗍𝗂𝖾𝗌, 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝖼𝗁 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝖼𝗋𝖺𝗌𝗁𝖾𝖽 𝖻𝗒 𝖿𝖺𝗇𝗌 𝖺𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗆𝗉𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝖾 𝖻𝗅𝖾𝗌𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝖻𝗒 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖩𝗈𝗇𝖺𝗌 𝖳𝗈𝗎𝖼𝗁. 𝖲𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝗂𝗇𝖼𝗂𝖽𝖾𝗇𝗍 𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗉𝖾𝗇𝖾𝖽 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝗅𝖺𝗌𝗍 𝗐𝖾𝖾𝗄, 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝖩𝗈𝖾 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗌𝗉𝗈𝗍𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗁𝗈𝗅𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖿𝖺𝗆𝗈𝗎𝗌 𝖻𝗎𝗆𝖻𝗅𝖾𝖻𝖾𝖾𝗌 𝗁𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝗅𝖾 𝗐𝖺𝗅𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖽𝗈𝗐𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖭𝖸𝖢 𝗌𝗍𝗋𝖾𝖾𝗍𝗌, 𝗌𝗎𝖽𝖽𝖾𝗇𝗅𝗒 𝖺 𝖻𝗎𝗇𝖼𝗁 𝗈𝖿 𝖿𝖺𝗇𝗌 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗉𝗅𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒 𝗐𝖾𝗇𝗍 𝗈𝗇 𝖺 𝗁𝗂𝗀𝗁 𝖿𝖺𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝗋𝗎𝗇 𝖺𝗐𝖺𝗒 𝗆𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗈𝗇.

𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝖩𝖾𝗋𝗌𝖾𝗒 4 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗁𝗂𝗀𝗁 𝖿𝖺𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗈𝗇, 𝗁𝗂𝗀𝗁 𝖽𝗂𝗏𝖺 𝖾𝗇𝖾𝗋𝗀𝗒, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗆𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗄 𝗈𝗇𝗅𝗒 𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀: “𝖳𝗁𝖾𝗌𝖾 𝗉𝖾𝗈𝗉𝗅𝖾 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗐𝖺𝗒 𝗍𝗈𝗈 𝗁𝗈𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗌𝗍𝗎𝗉𝗂𝖽!”

[georginashideout]

Obviously I can't say for sure, but I feel like the reason why people don't think youtube feels like youtube now is because youtube used to be the place to relax instead of watching the movies with dramaticised scenes & unrealistic plots. It felt personal, as if the youtuber was talking to you.

The more youtube grew, the money grew, and so did the budget of the high paying youtube video. In 2023, Jacksepticeye said that "MrBeast ruined Youtube."

Jacksepticeye's reasoning for this was because it became more about the views than having fun. MrBeast clapped back at this with a response partially saying "This clip is insanely disrespectful."

The public's primary response to his response was that MrBeast had completely missed the point. I personally agree as in MrBeast's response, one of the first things he highlighted was that he donated a lot of his money to charity. It is obviously a good thing to do, however, Jacksepticeye wasn't highlighting the fact that MrBeast donated the money to charity.

It has been 2 years since, and you can see all the MrBeast clones appearing in the reccomended feed, reaching exactly the numbers they want to achieve. However, the "studioification" of youtube doesn't only affect MrBeast as fans of youtubers like Sidemen & Beta Squad have said that they miss the old versions of them before they increased the budget of their videos.

It almost gives a sense of being "out of touch" with your viewers.

Overall, the reason why youtube isn't feeling the way people once viewed it is because of the higher standards & professionalism that comes with the platform itself growing.

[addictedtoyourcrush]

girl goes to chicago once and comes back with riri williams playlist. heres why:

[kattartsblog]

Rumor Mill News!

Of course some out of context thing Nathan said would be put in the celebrity gossip column. What he really said was “You’re like a daughter to me.” They are in fact, not related at all.

[i-died-three-days-ago]

Day 8: Ten Years After

I made a meta version of day 8's challenge, so here is how I predict the Steam Store Page will look like 2029, 10 years after the release of Pathologic 2. I mean, one can hope?

THIS IS FAKE and meant as a joke. ❤️

Part of Pathologic Fest 2023 @pathologicfest

[will-it-be-finished-who-knows]

"Friendliness Training"

Written by Ka'hop Arczon

Any human who wishes to travel the stars (legally) must first participate in and pass "Friendliness Training". We were led to believe this is not the official name of the program, but every human we interviewed refused to call it anything else.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As you may know, humans are deathworld predators, incredibly dangerous with a love of chaos, and as such possess many behaviors terrifying to other species. However, they are aware of this and how it affects their relationships with other species and seem to actively work against their societal norms and natural instincts to make others comfortable. Further proof of humans' compassion and the strength of their interspecies pack bonding, though that is not the point of this article.

To ensure that no human causes a diplomatic disaster and can work calmly and effectively with other species, the human governments agreed to have a standardized course and test that all space-faring humans must pass: the so-called "Friendliness Training". Through this training, humans learn to suppress some of their more threatening behaviors such as "smiling", the bearing of teeth that can mean anything from joy to malicious intent, and is very difficult for other species to correctly interpret. Until first contact with humans, the bearing of teeth was considered a universal sign of hostility, and this perception is not easily changed, as it is ingrained in many species' instincts.

At any rate, the universe can rest assured that humans are aware of their unintentionally threatening behaviors, and are voluntarily undergoing training to put those around them at ease.