Dec 27, 2025
Beware the probes! fic
seen from T1
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Beware the probes! fic
Is your partner disrupting your daily life with HARMFUL OFF-GASSING?
Know the Signs that your partner may be releasing volatile organic compounds
They always have that "new car smell"
They irritate your eyes, nose, and/or throat
You are overcome with fatigue around them
They make you dizzy in a bad way
They cause you to become nauseous
"Apparently there's a masked weirdo going around asking (cute) people to sit on their face-"
Moxxie's very flustered by this.
"This is unacceptable! You can't just ask someone to sit on your face! Not unless you want to be shot in it!"
Because we live in a world where people have to open with "in a non simp way" before they say they think someone is pretty
I have officially declared
The word 'Simp' is Dead.
I have killed it.
It is useless.
It is vestigial like the human tail bone. It's just there.
Is it like Nice Guy? White Knight? Nice Guy Diet? White Knight Remix. Stalker Zero. You don't need it. Even a garbage word like Chad has slight nuance from dudebro. It's a specific dudebro. Fine. Simp occupies no useful space in our vernacular.
Much like vibe check, whenever I ask a real live person what Simp means, I get a different definition. And Urban dictionary has a newly added meaning every day that contradicts the last. I realize language is alive and grows over time but this word is just cancerous when you already have like five meaning essentially the same nasty thing. Unlikable entitled creepy dude. Do you need simp? You already drive home you don't like the dude when you apply the term.
So Simp is dead.
I killed it.
Rest in piss.
Also I have a masters degree in English so, like. I am qualified or w/e.
(( again if people don't know my sense of humor by now, I'm sorry?))
Try not to cover your songs in blood, it hurts their longevity by placing them in the captivity of your brain! Music needs a wide range of emotions and experiences connected with it rather than just pain to have a fulfilling life.
> Lt. Quattro Bajeena: Hey Kamille, the Argama reeks back here! What gives? > Kamille Bidan: Lieutenant! I was just smoking some marijuana I got from Ensign Reccoa. Want a puff? > Quattro: Actually, I quit smoking years ago, Kamille. > Kamille: Really, how come? > Quattro: It was really impairing my piloting skills. I experienced trouble breathing, anxiety, even paranoia. It made me think things that weren't true, and it weighed my soul down. > Kamille: Just like the Earth's gravity! > Quattro: That's right! And we can't fight TITANS like that, especially in front of impressionable kids, like Katz! > Kamille: You're right, Lieutenant. I'm really sorry. I guess we should tell Ensign Reccoa too! > Quattro: Don't worry about it Kamille, and leave Reccoa to me. > This message is paid for by the Side 2 Mayoral Drug Awareness Committee. The Anti Earth Union Group is not an official body of drug enforcement. > Reccoa Londe is no longer affiliated with the Anti Earth Union Group._
Petition to take anyone who calls "first" on posts or comments. To offer them as the first tribute/sacrifice whenever its needed.
Aliens ask for someone to dissect? Here ya go!
Eldritch god needs to be put to sleep by blood ritual? Got your volunteer here.
New human trial med? All yours good buddy.
They called first so lets make sure they get their wish!
IKEA PSA