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List Of Things It Is Okay To Cat Call: Paintings in museums, cars, sunsets, the Moon, clothing not on a person, invisible blood ghosts, biker gangs high as fuck on meth, cops in the middle of going Rodney King on somebody, your cat.~Book Of Lists Compiled While Drunk That You Still Found Funny When Sober,fblimh
"It's a thought I've had in the back of my mind for years. I'm pretty sure I'm going to die alone." "I don't think so." "Really? Hey than.." "You're such a dick either you're going to be shot at close range or you're going to be murdered by someone choking the shit out of you." "....."~The Magical Negro of Vengeance,#fblimh
In 1988 there was no way you could find out what a cock ring was, unless you knew someone who knew what it was, without going to some gross porno store and having it explained to you by some pervert who was probably jerking off while he explained it to you. You couldn't look that shit up in the Encyclopedia Britannica. Google didn't come out till 1997. Do you realize how awesome it is to be able to type cock ring from the privacy of your own home and come up with 2.5 million hits in 0.54 seconds explaining what that shit is? You can ask Google things like 'Why do women hate my 12" cock?', and you will find a mess, but among that mess will be serious answers to your questions. What I'm trying to say is whereas before we were limited by our inability to get answers to our questions now we are limited by the fact that we don't ask questions at all when the answers are at our fingertips. We should have question parties where we drink while seeing who can ask the weirdest questions while getting a legitimate response (if you type why do Martian women hate my 12" cock nothing comes up.........because Martian women aren't real.........and no one has written any monster erotica about them either). You can ask questions like 'what does intersectionality mean to me as a (insert whatever here)?', or 'why do black people hate it when white people use the n-word?', or 'what is rape culture?', or 'what is sex addiction?' or 'why do my lovers keep trying to stab me in my sleep?'~He Typed As He Woke Up With Bleeding Stab Wounds.......Again or 88 Was A Dark Time For Cock Ring Research,fblimh
"I never loved you. I loved an illusion that wore your face, shared your wardrobe and said some of the things you like to say. I wanted to love you so much I filled so many parts of what I didn't know about you with assumptions that were pleasing to me. I never loved you. I loved the dream I made of you. I loved something that was never born and now I'm mourning it's nonexistence."~ All Your Heroes That Never Were or Worst Breakfast Conversations In Legend And Folklore,fblimh
"As your vaginal advocate I can't recommend sleeping with this guy. I'm not saying you're drunk but you definitely have your beer goggles on. Also from the way he talks about how amazing he is in bed he's probably not very good."~ Richard Furious-Vaginal Advocate (aka The Professional Wingman),fblimh
"No one ever says 'We have to talk. I need to make you cum before the sushi I ordered shows up.' It's always' We have to talk.....' and then either we're breaking up or my mother's dead or your secretly my mother and we have to break up."~ Most Feared Phrases In The English Language,fblimh
"When you transgress against someone and they don't call you on it it's because you have been added to the exploding stream of flying bullshit that when first encountered was horrific but it happens so often now they just move through it to go about their daily business like fish in water. You know why most people will never become aware? If they became conscious of all the ways they had hurt other people how could they live? There is more profit and comfort in staying asleep."~ Moral Insomniac,fblimh
"If I gave a hand job every time some asshole sidekick asked me to give them a hand job because the world was going to end I could crush coal into diamonds with one hand." "But I've seen you crush coal into diamo...." "Shut up."~ Why Power Woman Prefers Working Alone,fblimh
