#fandom responsibility

[justcallmemrslupin]

🐺💥 Canon vs Fanon: Remadora vs W*lfstar 💥🐺

Someone on TikTok commented under a post about Tonks: “I hated her relationship with Remus. W*lfstar made much more sense.”

Hmmm... More sense? Really??!

How can a fanon ship built entirely on projection make “more sense” than a canon relationship that showed emotional growth, mutual sacrifice, and real consequences?

Ok, let's brake this down:

Canon Sirius never gave much thought to Remus’ well-being.

- In Prisoner of Azkaban, we learn that Sirius literally used Remus as a weapon against Snape. That wasn’t a joke. If Remus had attacked Snape, he wouldn’t just have been expelled. He could have been executed. Sirius didn’t care.

- Sirius openly wished for a full moon when he was bored in Order of the Phoenix. Remus answered him dryly, because Sirius was being inconsiderate again.

- Sirius didn’t even trust Remus during the war.

He advised James to make Peter the Secret Keeper instead, specifically because he didn’t trust Remus. He says so himself in Book 3, and he even apologizes for it later (so no, it's not a headcanon that he didn't trust him, it's canon, it's his own words).

- Sirius left Remus nothing in his will.

Not a thing. Remus was poor, homeless, grieving, and Sirius — supposedly his best friend — didn’t leave him so much as a spare room in Grimmauld Place. That doesn’t scream “deep emotional connection” to me.

And the go-to argument?

"But Sirius became an Animagus to help Remus!"

So did James. So did Peter. They were teenagers, it was exciting, and for Sirius, it was probably more about doing whatever James was doing than any grand act of loyalty. Sure, Remus saw it as a huge act of friendship, but Remus was a lonely kid with no friends. Of course he idealized them. Even JKR says in his official bio that his biggest flaw was cutting his friends far too much slack because he was afraid of losing them.

Meanwhile, Tonks:

- Lost her powers and her Patronus changed because Remus tried to protect her by pushing her away.

- Fought for his love despite prejudice, danger, and family disapproval.

- Was nearly killed multiple times because she chose to be with Remus — Bellatrix targeted her because she married him. Guess what? Yes, Tonks actually DIED because she married Remus!

- Left her newborn baby behind to go fight beside him, because she 'couldn’t bear not knowing" (her words) if he was okay.

JKR’s own canon bio for Remus confirms: he had never fallen in love before Tonks. As for Sirius? He always got the women.

And don’t get me started on fandom reaching:

• “Remus was living with Sirius!” — So were a dozen other Order members. Including Tonks.

• “Remus looked at Sirius for 40 lines!” — Because Sirius was unstable, and Remus was bracing to intervene. Which he did. Like the responsible adult he was.

Remadora is not just canon. It’s about unconditional love in the face of prejudice. About two people who chose each other even when the world said they shouldn’t.

And for the record? I’m not even a hardcore Remadora shipper. I’ve always written Remus with my OC, before Remadora was even a thing. But saying "Wolfstar makes more sense" is not only ignoring canon. It’s ignoring character dynamics, consequences, and context.

Ship whoever you want. Really. But don’t pretend fanon is more "logical" than the canon story about love, sacrifice, and growth.

[hlizr50]

why do you put anti elriels in tags instead of just anti elriel? you can hate on the ship but don’t hate on the people (unless they’re being assholes ofc lol but not every elriel is)

(anyways gwynriel supremacy lmao)

You know what, anon?

This is a fantastic callout.

I will say that if I end up posting in the anti- tags it IS because people are being assholes.

HOWEVER

I don't feel like I've ever intentionally typed in anti-elriels instead of anti-elriel. Clearly it's happened, and good on you for calling it out. The only explanation I can offer to defend my innocence is that I typed too fast or I was just stealing the original blogger's tags 😬😅.

Either way, thanks for the callout! I'll try to pay better attention :)

And, of course, GWYNRIEL SUPREMACY ALWAYS

💗💗

[formlessvoidbeast]

complicated feels about my influence on the nwalin fandom under the cut

I feel a bit responsible for the ubiquitous cops-and-robbers interpretation of the Nori/Dwalin dynamic. I popularized it early on with the first nwalin longfic, and many others took that fanon and ran.

I think it’s probably obvious why I am pretty uncomfortable with positive portrayals of fucking cops, nowadays.

I don’t think I’m going to delete the fics. I think that ship has sailed. The damage done has already been done, and now the only people reading those ancient fics are reading them for nostalgic purposes. I really don’t want to take away someone’s comfort reading in these trying times.

Maybe I’ll put a disclaimer up on them, though, if I can compose a good one.

[yessoupy]

I completely agree with you re Stormzy! Bothers me a lot. But I think the reverse, treating them so differently, of calling grown white man babie adds to the problem. Personally, the jump from that to making excuses is too short (not pertaining to H specifically but generally) and we have enough men not taking responsibility for their actions. Maybe I'm exaggerating, it's just a sensitive topic for me. I can deal with it reasonably well but people @ing and responding directly makes me cringe 🙈

I wholeheartedly agree that the jump from babie to making excuses is too short for many people. If someone isn't willing to investigate their impulses when it comes to that language and their reactions, they shouldn't be using it. (Of course, good luck getting that to stop... since they won't consider it an issue....)

I keep thinking about the letters to Harry re: Palestine that were being collected by HSD and how wrong-headed that was. That was a group of (young) fans mistakenly thinking THAT was an appropriate way to hold Harry accountable for... actions from 2014? And yet an actually problematic thing Harry did was perform for the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show and that same group registered no complaint.

What's our role, really? As a group, to recognize why performing at the VSFS was a poor choice for him. Is it to send him a petition about it? No. He's not our fandom. If Harry were to continue to make disappointing choices like that, finding excuses for that choice would be the wrong thing. Stepping back from being a fan of his would be the right thing. But that all depends upon what your personal line is, and how much you've invested in him. For some people, that one show could have pushed them to stop being a fan. That's fine. Also fine is still being a fan while recognizing it was a misstep. NOT fine is denying it was a misstep because you must protect Harry from culpability for anything. DEFINITELY not fine is blaming his manager for MAKING him perform at VSFS because you don't know how to deal with his actions.

[princeescaluswords]

I know I should probably be over it by now, because it is 2019 and the show has ended and people moved on but I still get so angry. That teeth gnashing, toe curling, why wasn't the show helmed by writers/producers who gave a shit, angry when I think about Kira, whose story wasn't done yet, who has ties to both Japanese lore and Korean lore and none of that was explored! Are there other Kitsunes/Gumihos? What's the full extent of Kira's powers? We don't know anything about that. It pisses me off.

The only thing I disagree with you about is your idea that you should be ‘over it’ by now.   Why should you be over it?   That’s what they’re counting on.  You know and I know that when the production said “her story is done,” what they meant was, “we can’t think of a way to have her in this season that wouldn’t require us to spend time and energy integrating her into this half-baked plot.”  Even then, they had to mention her, even trotting her mother onto the screen for one of the most awkward scenes ever filmed.  (They literally have Noshiko walk off screen in the MIDDLE of the action because they didn’t want her reactions to Theo’s re-emergence.)   They only have so much money and time, and they would rather manufacture a reason for Peter Hale to come back rather than spend time finishing Kira’s story.

Peter Hale, whose story could be argued was over in Season 1, but even if you felt he had more in him, still had no place in the narrative after Season 4.  You know why they brought him back when his story was actually while we still don’t know whether Kira was going to master her fox or not. 

They want you to forget.  They want you to say “That doesn’t seem fair, but I can’t hold it against Hollywood that they ditched a Japanese/Korean female character for yet another misbehaving white manchild forever.”  Yes, you can.  You can hold it against them and keep holding it against them until Hollywood stops doing it.  Every little bit helps.

[sincerejester]

Okay, so now I can comment...

As I said when the whole thing happened, I wouldn’t even talk about it until they did, if they ever did. Tom has decided to discuss some details, publicly, about his relationship with Taylor Swift in his recent GQ UK interview.  Ban lifted; so here it goes:

Tom is a normal human being, as much as his fans and everyone else are. There was no grand conspiracy, no PR stunt, none of that ridiculous nonsense and hype. Believe it or not, Taylor Swift is a normal human being, too.

It’s the artifice of CELEBRITY that is fake, false, and an illusion. STOP FEEDING THE FAME MONSTER.

Or at very least, remember the definition of ‘celebrity’ : Celebrity comes directly from the Latin celebritatum, meaning famous, and is related to the verb celebrate which means to honor something with the proper ritual. 

In the case of an actor, that would mean we, the audience, show our appreciation of their art by sharing our interest with others and interact with that actor IN PROPER OUTLETS. You know, by attending performances, watching the shows [film, TV, whatever], going to the conventions and Q&A and signings, and yes, enjoying the pictures and interviews that the actor chooses to share.

The famous celebrities that we as fans create should not be expected to simply surrender the right that EVERY PERSON has to PRIVACY. That crosses the line from fandom into obsession. It’s nice if the celebrity wants to open up about personal things, but not an obligation. It’s perfectly okay as fans to daydream and speculate and fantasize SO LONG AS we understand that IT ISN’T REALITY; that such activities are more about US, not the celebrity.

When all this Hiddleswift hype was going down last year, my observation was this: maybe, just maybe Tom and Taylor were just exploring a relationship, one like anyone of us would like to have, just seeing how well they interacted with each other. No predictions of ‘happily ever after’, no ‘my true love’, no ‘this will sell’, no ‘good for career’ stuff. Just ‘wow, I think you’re amazing and I’m attracted to you; wanna see where this goes?’ Unfortunately that got played out in public, for our ‘entertainment’ and for the MEDIA’S PROFIT. And that’s not proper, certainly not honorable, and not a celebration.

Tom is a decent man. Everything I personally saw of him at Wizard World and through legitimate media outlets has shown that to me, and continues to do so. And I wish him much joy in the future, particularly with his relationships, but most of all I wish him some personal privacy while he continues to allow us access to his work and public appearances.

[justcallmemrslupin]

⚠️Why We Need Content Warnings for Toxic Fanfiction

(A post about fandom responsibility, especially regarding Dramione & Wolfstar)

It’s time the fanfiction community started seriously discussing content warnings for toxic dynamics in popular ships.

We warn for smut, violence, trauma — so why not for romanticizing abuse or emotional neglect?

Popular ships like Dramione and Wolfstar often normalize and glorify toxic relationships.

• Dramione puts a victim of racist bullying (Hermione) into a romance with her abuser (Draco) — often with no serious redemption arc or meaningful accountability.

• Wolfstar erases Sirius’s betrayal and neglect of Remus — like using his lycanthropy against him, trusting Pettigrew over him, thinking he was a traitor or not leaving him anything in his will although he knew Remus was struggling to get a job due to Umbridge's law.

And yet... these are seen as “tragic romances”? That’s not healthy representation — especially for teen readers still figuring out what love should look like.

Meanwhile, Gen Z fans slam Remadora (Remus/Tonks) for an age gap — even though Tonks was a grown woman, making her own choices, in a consensual relationship.

Yet those same fans idolize Sirius, the friend who repeatedly invalidated and hurt Remus?

That’s not representation. That’s hypocrisy.

This isn’t about policing ships.

It’s about responsibility.

If your story includes a toxic pairing, label it. If you're romanticizing canon betrayal and calling it love, at least warn readers first.

Because romanticizing unhealthy love teaches young fans:

That pain = passion

That neglect = romance

That manipulation = chemistry

Let’s do better. Let’s treat fanfiction like the powerful storytelling tool it is — with care, context, and honesty.

[justcallmemrslupin]

Historical content about "Harry Potter" and why W*lfstar never made sense to me

A very sweet person recently wrote something like this: “The first shippers of That Ship Which Must Not Be Named must not have liked Harry Potter.”

It got me thinking about it. And, as someone who was in the fandom while the books were still being released, I want to explain it better.

At the time, in the early 2000s, a lot of people were just doing what many of us were doing: looking for representation, writing fanfic, projecting their feelings onto characters who felt meaningful to them. Especially queer fans, who had very little canon representation anywhere (especially in kids' media). It was valid and beautiful.

But here’s my personal truth: that ship never made sense to me. Not even back then.

I read Prisoner of Azkaban back then, and when I got to the story about "the prank" (Sirius exposing Remus' secret to Snape and deliberately endangering that same Snape by weaponizing Remus' lycanthropy) I was horrified. As someone who survived severe bullying, that wasn’t a quirky little mischief moment. That was betrayal. That was cruel for both Snape and Remus! That was a fundamental violation of trust. I couldn’t see Sirius and Remus as anything other than a strained, toxic friendship after that.

Even later, when the characters were developed more in Order of the Phoenix and beyond, their dynamic didn’t improve much. Sirius continued to act like a reckless teenager, and Remus… well, Remus often spoke to him like a disappointed parent. They rolled their eyes at each other constantly. There was little emotional intimacy, and not much respect. And don't forget the fact that Sirius totally forgot to leave Remus anything in his will.

So while I understand why gay people wanted them to be something more — especially in a time when queer subtext was all anyone had — I’ve never seen the ship in the canon text. And as the years passed, I found it harder and harder to understand why it continued, especially in fandom spaces that are often hostile toward those of us who don’t see it.

Back in the day, Remus was shipped with everyone. Most often with Sirius, Tonks (even before Half-blood Prince), Snape, Hermione (yes, I know), Lily, and a lot of OCs (including my own), but even with Madam Rosmerta, Alice Longbottom and Molly Weasley. I even read a fic where he was with Harry (😳). The point is: people had fun, and they explored all sorts of dynamics. That’s fandom.

But now, in this era of aggressive rewriting of canon personalities and ship wars, I just want to reclaim my space. A space for people who love Remus — not as one half of a ship, not as a token or a placeholder — but as Remus Lupin, the flawed, lonely, brilliant, self-sacrificing man who mattered to us deeply.

If you feel the same, you’re not alone. You never were.