#fanfic reference

[shivering-isles-cryptid]

ELDER SCROLLS SMUT WRITERS PSA

Dwarven Oil is not a lube. It is motor oil.

Here are some lore compliant alternatives

Forewarning, I am ace spectrum and a virgin, but I am really good at research. Due to my in-depth research, this list can also be reference for irl personal use, but please do your own research before hand.

Olive oil

Most likely provinces: Cyrodiil, Elsewyr, Summerset Isles

Olive oil is the most obvious and basic option. It’s been used as a lube since 350 BC in Greece.

Olive oil is an oil-based lubricant (obviously) that can reduce friction but is known to stain sheets and clothes, and is slightly harder to wash off than alternatives. Oil based lubricants are thicker and last longer.

Olive oil is also known to cause acne, irritation on sensitive skin, and/or yeast infections. Olive oil is a heavy oil, meaning it isnt easily absorbed into the skin, leading to clogged pores. Clogged pores can lead to irritation, which can then lead to infection. Oil can also weaken the skin barrier and cause mild irritation to those who dont have sensitive skin, and oils can trap bacteria in the vagina or anus, leading to infections. There also exists those allergic to olive oil, although it is rare. But it would be funny to make your oc allergic to olives.

Irl warning, oil based lubes are not safe to use with latex based condoms, as they wear them down and can cause them to break. This isn't relevant to the Elder Scrolls, but just in case. This is the main issue with oil based lubes.

Walnut, almond, and other nut oils

Most likely provinces: All. High Rock for walnuts, Cyrodiil for Almonds, Elsewyr and Black March for coconut

The main thing with nut oils is to make sure the ones using it do not have a nut allergy. Coconut oil is the most recommended for lube, along side almond and hemp seed, specifically virgin coconut oil, but I do not know what makes an oil virgin, and it wont be anymore once you're done with it.

Nut oils are praised due to being natural, moisturizing, long lasting and edible during oral. They may also smell nice, with is a major bonus. Nut oils are also a good alternative for those with sensitive skin, since theyre less likely to cause irritation.

On the downside, nut oils can stain sheets and are sometimes reported to feel greasy.

Flaxseed oil

Most likely provinces: Cyrodiil, Valenwood, Elsewyr

Flaxseed oil is yet again a oil based lube. It functions as a moisturizing lubricant, and can also be turned into a gel which is said to have a pleasant texture.

Flaxseed oil does have some sideffects, as it is known to cause issues if you are prone to vaginal irritation or infections. As with all oils, it can stain sheets and increase the risk of infections.

Horker fat

Most likely provinces: Skyrim, Solstheim, Wrothgar Mountains

Walrus fat was used as a lube by the Vikings and other in ancient Scandinavia, making it a historically accurate alternative for those where horkers are found.

But, with modern day knowledge, we now know that animal fats are not recommended or considered safe for sexual activity.

Animal fats arent designed for intimate internal usage and can lead to infections such as bacterial vaginosis. Animal fats are also difficult to wash off, leave thick, oily residue, and can havea strong odor. They may also attract insects or pests. But, it would be historically accurate, and the Nords of Skyrim wouldn't know this, and even if they did, they'd probably still do it due to their excessive reverence for traditions.

Tallow

Most likely provinces: Found in all, most likely used in Skyrim, Valendwood, and the Wrothgar Mountains

Tallow is made from rendering animal fat, specifically beef or mutton. Tallow was also used as a personal lubricant by the Vikings, but it's main purposes are conditioning leather or wood, cooking, baking, and making soap and candles.

Tallow is preferred as lube due to being long lasting, not sticky, and providing hydration. However, due to being made primarily from animal fat, it can harbor bacteria, clog pores, or alter PH balances, all possibly leading to infection.

Modern day tallow is recommended purely for external usage, often as a skin balm or moisturizer, but historically it was used as lube when in a pinch. And since its made from animal parts, it is a Green Pact safe lube for your Bosmer.

Ash yam lube

Most likely provinces: Morrowind, Solstheim

Now yam lube wasn't something I ever thought of before. But during the Edo period of Japan (1603-1868), they created a lube specifically for anal and homosexual sex, which was made of shredded yams. This lube was called "Tororo-jiru" whihc is now the name of a Japanese soup.

Now despite being originally used for anal and gay sex, modern yam lubes are used for vaginal dryness, menopausal discomfort, and sensitive skin. Yam lubes are highly moisturizing, help with irritation, and support the vaginal microbiome. Which would be amazingly helpful in the dry climate of Morrowind.

I read an article about someone who made yam lube by mixing the yams with agar (a gel like substance derived from seaweed), which produced a substance with a similar consistency to applesauce. Now, I'm not sure exactly how the Dunmer would make their ash yam lube, but it does seem like a good cultural alternative first started on Vvardenfell.

Personal creation: Darrielle

Most likely provinces: Pyandonea and the Summerset Isles

Darrielle is a word derived from the Altmeri words "Darra" meaning mercy, and "Rielle" meaning beauty. It is an elven lube first created by the Aldmer and still in use today by their descendants, the Altmer and Maormer.

Darrielle is made from a blend of carrageenan, which is a thick, sticky liquid created from boiling red seaweed, and mixed with other ingredients, most notably, clove oil.

Now, carrageenan is an ingredient used in modern lubes, but it is also known to have been used in Japan, Korea, and China for thousands of years as a lubricant. It is water soluble, gelatinous, and slippery. It is moisturizing, and has antiviral properties, providing a natural, body-mimicking feel without a lot of irritants found in other lubricants. There is also ongoing research in its ability to protect against STI's, but it is believed to at least help.

Clove oil is very similar to the yam lube, as in, it is known to have been used as a lube for anal sex and dildos by gay men in the Edo Period of Japan. Now, you may be thinking, clove oil is a strong essential oil, meaning that it would be very bad to use it as a lubricant. But, clove oil is actually still an ingredient today in many lubes designed specifically for anal sex. It has painkilling, muscle-relaxing , and antimicrobial properties, which has been studied and backed up by science and would be very useful for activities involving the backdoor if used with caution.

Now, mixing both carrageenan and clove oil, with some other alchemical ingredients, you'd get a guaranteed lube that works, smells good, and has protective properties.

Now, a disclaimer.

DO NOT MAKE THIS AT HOME. I AM NOT A SCIENTIST. I DO NOT KNOW HOW CHEMICALS REACT TO EACH OTHER. THIS VERY WELL COULD SET YOU PUSSY ON FIRE FOR ALL I KNOW.

Netch Jelly: caution

Most likely provinces: Morrowind, Solstheim

Netch Jelly is, well, jelly that comes from netches.

Now, Netch Jelly is what I will call a kink lube. It is used for kink specific sex due to it's alchemical properties, which include paralysis, restore stamina, and fear.

We're going to focus on only one of those for now, namely, paralysis. If you take the jelly, and dilute it down enough, the paralysis effect could be used to keep a hole at an exact tightness, or a shaft at the same level of hardness, which would require foreplay and meticulous timing.

This has some very major side effects if not done correctly, namely, having it take effect too early or too late, being stuck too tight without being able to loosen, not diluting enough so the paralysis spreads further than intended, accidentally mixing in a wrong ingredient and activating the fear affect.

As with all things, informed consent is the only consent, especially when doing a kink like this.

Stamina Potions: varies

Stamina potions have many many possible ingredients. But today, we're going to use the Skyrim list as a reference.

If you wish to use a restore stamina potion as a lubricant, your base will always have to be made from a fish oil. Now, fish oil is not recommended as a lube irl due to two major factors. Cost and expiration date. But this is the Elder Scrolls. Neither of those are actual concerns. Catch the fish yourself and use magic to keep it fresh. Now, in Skyrim there are 5 fish that can be used for this. Goldfish, Histcarp, Pearlfish, Pygmy Sunfish, and Silverside Perch.

Now, alchemically speaking, all of these fish could lead to many different lubricants with a multitude of possible effects.

Mix goldfish or histcarp oil with salmon roe, and you'd get a restore stamina potion that allows you to eat out your partner fo rlonger. (Restore Stamina + Waterbreathing)

Mix pearlfish or silverside perch oil with powdered small pearls, and you'd get a lube that restores stamina and allows you to have sex in colder temperatures. (Restore Stamina + Resist Frost)

As with all potions, you have to watch measurements and other conjoining effects closely as to avoid any and all unintended negative side effects.

Thank you all for reading, I hope I could help even a little withy our smut writings

Edit: Petroleum jelly was first written about in 1273, and was used as a personal lubricant for a long time. It is very very not recommended, but it is also a possibility

[tabbety]

Hey everybody, check out @iwantacoffee19’s delightful Spamtenna fic (18+): The Beast You’ve Made Me

It’s inspirational, haha, and one of the only works I’ve ever read that make me literally squee out loud and kick my feet as I read it. I’m so excited for the plot progression :DDD

[aealzx]

Wachowski Family House Fan Layout (Sonic Movie Universe)

Hi 8'D I was writing a Sonic fic and couldn't keep the house layout straight in my head. So I hyperfixated for like 30-40 hours over the course of 3 days and recreated some semblance of the Wachowski family home based on screenshots and watching scenes on Youtube. Repeatedly. 8 |

And since maybe people don't want to do the same, I figured I'd share. X'D Please keep in mind this layout is NOT canon, and no one should use it to try and prove of disprove anything. It's just what I ended up with based on what I could find, and figure out despite the inconsistencies within the movies themselves.

Details all under the cut. And if you want to see the SketchUp model itself I think this link might work. I've never actually tried to share SketchUp models before.

Sorry these files are MASSIVE, but eh, I'm too lazy to break them down smaller at this point.

Exterior:

1st Floor:

This is the only floor I could find scenes for. So everything started from here, and is based on fitting in with this floor. Talking with my sister (aka complaining to her) I found out that the house was most likely renovated before Sonic lived there. That's why they have this random floating closet next to the entrance. It probably has to be there to support the structure after a bunch of the walls were knocked out to convert to a more open floorplan.

2nd Floor:

This floor is entirely made up by me 8'D Feel free to completely redesign it to fit your fancy. Everything is based on window placement, with the master bedroom being at the front because that's the biggest window.

Attic:

This was actually hard to place, because it could be argued that the attic is above the living room area. Especially since there's scenes that have a chimney column going through the attic. But I decided to put it above the kitchen based on that skylight window that Sonic is seen running into (that totally isn't round in that shot, but okay), and because the living room looks to have a high ceiling with nothing above it. Also I could not figure out how to get the attic stairs to work with the 1st to 2nd floor stairs also being on that side of the house.

[whispering-about-the-tmnt]

Some headcanons regarding TMNT physiology

Over the years, I have come up with some headcanons regarding how I believe the Ninja Turtles' bodies work. I thought that perhaps it might be nice to finally share them with all of you.

These don't apply to all the iterations, of course, but they are pretty well universal in my mind, and I tend to incorporate most of them into my fanfics.

The Turtles (like leatherback sea turtles, echidnas, and some dinosaurs) are mesotherms, meaning they are neither warm nor cold blooded. They are, instead, in a middle-ground: they internally generate heat, but not to a constant temperature. In the Turtles' case, they will shiver when cold, and their bodies will not shut down right away when the temperature dips too low, though they may lose some energy and find it hard to concentrate.

Unlike many other modern reptiles and amphibians, who have a three-chambered heart, the Turtles have four-chambered hearts (like mammals and dinosaurs) that are larger and stronger than average human hearts and located at the center of their chests.

While the average human blood capacity is around five liters, the Turtles have about seven. Much of the blood flows under the shell -- a remnant of their lives as ordinary turtles, whose own blood does so in order to warm them when they bask. This means that the Turtles could lose close to three liters of blood before dying, while a human would only be able to lose two.

Their blood is also highly efficient at clotting, but that also means that storing blood for transfusions is difficult, and so must be directly transfused from one turtle to another in emergency situations.

Owing to their extensive circulatory system, they also have a larger lung capacity than humans and more oxygen-rich blood, and so are able to hold their breath for extended periods of time without adverse effects. Other than this, the Turtles' respiratory system is very much like humans', utilizing a diaphragm to inflate and deflate their lungs.

Like regular turtles, they do not have ribs, but rather their carapaces and plastrons serve that purpose, and they have muscles under their shells that keep their internal organs right where they belong.

Also like regular turtles, their spines curve along the insides of their shells. A direct hit on the center of their shells, then, could cause damage to their spinal column and nervous system, but fortunately their vertebral shields offer a fair amount of protection, so it would take quite an impact.

The Turtles are highly resistant to most infections and diseases, which increases their immunological responses. They do not get sick easily, and they recover quickly.

While their scales are not apparent, they are integrated into their skin, making it tougher than human skin. It takes a very hard hit to raise a bruise, and it is difficult to cut through without a very sharp or pointed blade.

Their bones are similar to humans, but are more resistant to breaking. They also heal quicker and stronger if they are broken.

Their muscles are also very close to human-like, but they are stronger than an average human due to compensating for the extra weight they carry in their shells. Because of this, their ligaments and tendons are also tougher, and it is difficult for them to have a joint dislocated.

Their sense of smell is more acute than humans, but not to an extreme degree. They are also not as bothered by foul smells (though this has more to do with living in a sewer than their physiology).

Their eyes are a bit tougher and more resistant to damage than human eyes due to a protective membrane that covers them. They see a bit better than humans in dark places and underwater.

Their hearing is somewhat more attuned to lower frequencies than human hearing, and is not dependent on external ears but rather an internal auditory system (making direct damage to their hearing unlikely).

They are capable of being knocked unconscious, but it takes a significant impact. Permanent or lingering damage to their brains is unlikely due to their structure, and so they also do not tend to suffer the same side-effects that humans would in the same circumstances (nausea, memory loss, etc.).

Although their nutritional needs are similar to humans, they do not need to eat every day, and in fact can get by quite well without food for a week if necessary (though they won't enjoy it). When food is readily available, however, they will eat as much as possible to store up energy. Their metabolism does not slow down when they do not eat, so overexerting themselves when they haven't had any food for a while can burn them out suddenly.

Their sleep schedules are much like most diurnal animals, though they are able to stay awake for extended periods of time and can get by on little sleep, if necessary. There have been times when they have been awake for days on end, getting by on short one hour naps here and there. In general, though, they like to have a regular sleep/wake cycle.

Like other reptiles, the Turtles never stop growing throughout their lifetimes; however their growth is slow, topping off at about 1-2 inches every five years.

Does anyone have anything they would like to add to the list? I actually had fun compiling it!

[pandorianbastard]

Fade into you

[oldrudshore]

there seems to be a lot of confusion about the Cybertronian terminology for time, so for any fic writers out there I wanted to share my personal glossary.

*None of this terminology is concrete. I'm not the authority on Transformers lore, I just like consistency. <3

Measurements of Time

second = nanoklik/klik

minute = cycle

hour = megacycle

day = solar cycle

week = deca-cycle

month = orbital cycle

year = stellar cycle

solar cycle = 26 megacycles (one day)

deca-cycle = 10 solar cycles (one week on Cybertron)

orbital cycle = 32 solar cycles (one month)

stellar cycle = 10 orbital cycles (one year)

**The following terms are not commonly used across Transformers media, but are listed on the wiki. I hardly ever use these, but I hold on to them just in case.

Days

Dillesol

Gerbesol

Davisol

Maleksol

Marxsol

Glutsol

Robbisol

Wolsol

Dixosol

Wisesol

Months

Ferruneon

Navitaneon

Primaneon

Inrituneon

Chokoneon

Zetcaneon

Boltaneon

Rokuneon

Heptaneon

Bahneon

[justhereforthepies]

This is a post about 'Don't marry Svetlana'

Shane's rejection isn't just about jealousy - if Ilya marries Svetlana this draws a permanent international border between them. People don't change their citizenship more than once. Canada and the US have a pretty friendly border, as these things go, but Ilya taking this route means dealing with customs and border protection every time they want to see each other. Shane isn't only reacting negatively from sexual jealousy, he's reacting to the possibility of their long distance situation being the closest they could ever be.

I also wanted to write a bit about Ilya's paths to citizenship as a Canadian, because there are more options than just marriage!

- Canada's equivalent to a green card is called "permanent residency" and you get a "PR card". As a PR you have all the rights and protections of a citizen except voting & doing some high-level government jobs. You can keep your PR even if you're unemployed, you can get social assistance like welfare on a PR, it is difficult to revoke PR/be deported except in cases where you got PR status fraudulently. You need to hold PR for a few years before you're eligible to apply for citizenship.

- paths to PR (AKA paths to Canadian passport)

1. Work visa: this is straightforward - you hold a skilled work visa for long enough and you're eligible for PR. Ilya is obviously in a skilled worker class, even if not as an MLH player he could work as a coach/agent/model whatever other skilled job & be eligible with enough years of Canadian work experience.

2. Family visa: this is the 'marriage' one but in Canada you can actually get this as common law (source: I sponsored my spouse for his PR before we got married). You just need to prove that a romantic relationship is serious & sustained. A marriage license is easy proof, but for our application I submitted attestation letters from friends and family & photos of us in different seasons and on trips together, etc., as proof of our relationship being genuine. Also a timeline of 'life events' to prove that the relationship was 'sustained'. We also had to take an oath after the paperwork was approved.

3. Refugee status: this is probably the most difficult, time consuming, and strenuous process to go through, but as a gender/sexual minority, Ilya would be eligible for a refugee PR by proving that he would be in danger of persecution in Russia (which he would be, if he was outed).

Also none of this is legal advice, just fanfic reference based on my own experience & reading of the Citizenship & Immigration website.