24. Promise
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The harsh white lights of the hospital room buzzed softly above us. The bustle of the hospital staff just outside the tiny white room was an unending chorus of exhaustion, despair, resignation, grief, and frustration. But here, in this little room, everything I loved most was alive and recovering. The waiting was difficult though. Like a sort of purgatory.
I sat in the dingy plastic chair pulled up close to the bed, my head resting against the flat, lumpy pillow right next to his. Beau’s chest rose and fell as steadily as beeping of the heart monitor next to the bed. It was an exquisite sound. It had been my constant companion the last few days and I was grateful for it. Every beep of the monitor meant he was alive. Every beep meant he was still human.
Suddenly, he sighed. A gentle groan escaped his lips and his hands tensed and untensed. His eyes fluttered open, groggy and confused. His eyes turned slightly away from me, looking at the long vertical blinds on the wall beside him, then up to the bright ceiling lights, then down to the hospital bed. The strangest look passed over his face and I reveled in the familiar confusion of wondering what he could possibly be thinking.
He suddenly looked comically annoyed and lifted his hands towards his face.
“No, you don’t.” I chided, gently catching his hand.
“Edward?” He turned his head slightly, and the silver pools of his eyes widened and warmed as a smile spread across his beautiful face.
“Hi.”
“Hi,” I smiled back, sadly.
“What happened?”
Too much, all my worst nightmares, every single one of my greatest fears. “I was almost too late. I could have been too late,” the words came out in a tormented whisper.
“I’m sorry, Edward. I thought he had my mom.”
“He tricked us all.”
“I need to call Charlie and my mom,” He said, that familiar crease appearing between his eyebrows.
“Alice called them.” I was exceedingly grateful to Alice for making those phone calls, I didn’t think I had the strength of will to not break down and beg both Charlie and Beau’s mother for their forgiveness of my incredible failures. “Your mother is here—well, here in the hospital. She’s getting something to eat right now.”
“She’s here?” He tried to sit up, but his eyes grew unfocused with the effort and I gently pushed him back down onto the pillows.
“She’ll be back soon,” I promised. “And you need to stay still.”
“But what did you tell her?” He panicked, my soothing falling on deaf ears. “Why did you tell her I’m here?”
“You fell down two flight of stairs and through a window.” I paused, measuring his expression. “You have to admit, it could happen.”
He looked like he might argue with me, but he only sighed, then winced. He stared down at his body, hidden underneath the bed sheet.
“How bad am I?” He asked.
“You have a broken leg, four broken rips, some cracks in your skull, bruises covering every inch of your skin,” Recounting every injury felt like a sharp stab in the deepest part of my being. “And you’ve lost a lot of blood. They gave you a few transfusions. I didn’t like it—it made you smell all wrong for a while.”
“That must have been a nice change for you.”
“No, I like how yousmell.” And I was grateful he was back to normal now—or as close to it as he could be given the circumstances.
“How did you do it?” He asked quietly, and I knew what he meant at once.
“I’m not sure.” I reluctantly pulled away from his bewildered eyes, lifting his gauze-wrapped hand from the bed and holding it gently in my own, careful not to disrupt the wire connecting him to one of the monitors.
He watched me patiently.
I sighed, unable to return his gaze. “It was impossible to stop,” I whispered. “Impossible. But I did.” I finally looked up, managing half a smile. “I mustlove you.”
“Don’t I taste as good as I smell?” He smiled in response, though it was marred by the slightest of winces.
“Even better—better than I’d imagined.”
“Damn right, I do.”
I laughed, loudly, fully unable to hold back my joy at seeing Beau—myBeau—feeling like his usual self.
“Even then,” I said after a moment, “I thought I had still lost you. Despite everything.”
“Can’t get rid of me that easy,” He moved his shoulders in a halting way that perhaps was meant to be a shrug.
“Alice couldn’t see you.” My voice had fallen once again to a whisper, “I thought you were gone forever.”
“I hadn’t made the decision yet.” He said simply. I looked up at him, confused. “Giving up is easy, trying is harder. I had too much to try for.” He said softly.
“I’m glad.” Nothing could ease the guilt and sadness I felt over his pain, but this did make me happy.
He was silent for a moment, his face contemplative. Then his eyes widened minutely. He shuddered, and then winced.
“Beau, what’s wrong?” I asked, anxiously.
“What happened to James?”
“After I pulled him off you, Emmett and Jasper took care of him.” I still regretted that I could not have the satisfaction of finishing him off myself, but I was grateful to my brothers for their thorough job.
The crease reappeared. “I didn’t see Emmett and Jasper there.”
“They had to leave the room… there was a lot of blood. Emmett was devastated. He wanted to stay and help. I thought he might cry.” I remembered the look on Emmett’s face as Carlisle and I had rushed out of the studio to get to the hospital with some amusement.
“But you stayed.”
“Yes, I stayed.”
“And Alice, and Carlisle..,” he said in wonder.
“They love you, too, you know.”
His eyes drifted away for a moment, then suddenly his eyes widened and his voice became anxious. “James, he knew Alice! Did she see the tape?”
Ah. The tape. Alice and Carlisle had cautioned me I should not watch the tracker’s disgusting little video. Jasper had to exercise the most calming of influences to keep me steady, but I had watched it. “Yes.” My voice was dark with my hatred. Despite the atrocities the tracker had committed against Beau in the tape, it had helped Alice by shedding some light on her mysterious origins. She had been a patient in an asylum, cared for by an old vampire who changed her when she, like Beau, had become the target of James’s obsessive tracking. It has given Alice some clues as to where she might fight some information about her human life.
“She was always in the dark, that’s why she didn’t remember.” Beau said, full of concern.
“I know. She understands now.” My voice was more even, but I could tell my face was still twisted with fury.
He moved his hand towards me, but the IV kept it from reaching. He glanced down at it disdainfully.
“Ugh.” He winced.
“What is it?” I asked anxiously, worried that he had somehow hurt himself.
“Needles,” he explained, looking away from the one in his hand and focusing his eyes on the ceiling while taking deep breaths.
“Afraid of a needle,” I muttered to myself under my breath, shaking my head in disbelief. “Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing him to death, sure, no problem, he runs off to meet him. An IV, on the other hand…”
He rolled his eyes.
“Why are youhere?” He asked suddenly.
I stared at him, confused for a moment. Then the pain hit me. Of course. Why would he want me here after I put him through this? “Do you want me to leave?”
“No!” He protested, “No, of course not, you beautiful idiot. No, I meant, why does my mother think you’re here? I need to have my story straight before she gets back.”
“Oh,” I said, relief washing over me. “I came to Phoenix to talk to you, to convince you to come back to Forks.” I recited the story in my most sincere voice. “You agreed to see me, and you drove out to the hotel where I was staying with Carlisle and Alice—of course I was there with parental supervision,” I added, “but you tripped on the stairs on the way to my room and… well, you know the rest. You don’t need to remember any details, though; you have a good excuse to be a little muddled about the finer points.” I sighed, then realized something and raised my eyebrow at him. “Did you just call me an idiot?”
“Give me a break; I’m broken in like a hundred places and on pain medication.” He snickered, “Besides, I called you a beautiful idiot.”
I smirked in response to his playfulness.
“There are a few flaws with your story, though.” He continued, “Like no broken windows.”
“Not really,” I replied. “Alice had a little bit too much fun fabricating evidence. It’s all been taken care of very convincingly,” In fact Alice had gone so overboard I added, “you could probably sue the hotel if you wanted to.” I watched his face relax. “You have nothing to worry about,” I promised him, stroking his cheek as lightly as I could. “You’re only job now is to heal.”
“I think I can manage that,” he sighed.
I leaned in slowly and pressed my lips as gently as I could to his, he sighed happily, then winced suddenly. I pulled back quickly, anxious at what new damage I might have caused.
“It seems I’m going to have to be more careful with you than usual.” I frowned at that daunting prospect.
“I was not finished kissing you,” He narrowed his eyes. “Don’t make me come over there. Get back here.”
“Yes, sir.” I grinned and happily pressed my lips once again to his.
“Do you think he’ll wake up anytime soon?” The voice of Beau’s mother came from the hallway.
I pulled away from Beau. “I think I hear your mother,” I said, grinning again.
“Oh god, don’t leave me now.” His eyes were wide, full of terror.
“I won’t,” I promised, then smiled with an amusing idea. “I’ll take a nap.”
He watched me with a bewildered, slightly panicked expression as I moved from the plastic chair by his side to the garish faux-leather recliner at the foot of his bed, leaning it all the way back, and closing my eyes in a show of sleep.
“Don’t forget to breathe,” he whispered sarcastically. I obliged with a deep, showy breath, keeping my eyes closed.
Beau’s mother was just outside the door, speaking to a nurse about his progress. Her voice held all the exhaustion and worry of the long days she had spent in the hospital.
I heard the door open a crack.
“Mom!” Beau’s whispered voice was full of affection and relief.
“Oh, Beau,” his mother’s voice flew across the room to his side, “I’m so happy you’re awake, hon.” He’s still here? My goodness. “He never leaves, does he?” She whispered.
“Mom, I’m so glad to see you!”
There was a brief moment of silence. I could hear his mother sniffle.
“Beau, I was so upset.”
“I’m sorry, Mom. But everything’s fine now, it’s okay,” He comforted her. I already was beginning to understand their dynamic a little better. Until now, I had only known what Beau had told me of his mother.
“I’m just glad to finally see your eyes open.” I could hear the bed creak slightly, I guessed she was sitting next to him now.
“How long have I been out?”
“It’s Friday, hon, you’ve been out for a while.”
“Friday?” He sounded shocked, but uncertain at the same time.
“They had to keep you sedated for a while, honey—you’ve got a lot of injuries.”
“I know. I feel them.” He said, bleakly, and I felt a fresh stab of guilt.
“You’re lucky Dr. Cullen was there. He’s such a nice man… very young, though. And he looks more like a model than a doctor…” Reminds me of someone in the movies a little… Gosh, who am I thinking of?
“You met Carlisle?”
“And Edward’s sister, Alice. She’s a lovely girl.” So pretty, too. Just darling!
“She is,” Beau agreed.
In her mind, I could see her eyes move from Beau to over her shoulder towards me in the chair. “You didn’t tell me you had such good friends in Forks.” She said. Or such polite, beautiful ones!
The bed creaked and Beau moaned in pain.
“What hurts?” his mother demanded, turning back to him just as I opened my eyes to see for myself.
“It’s fine,” He assured us both. “I just have to remember not to move.” I fell back into my false slumber.
“Where’s Phil?” Beau asked suddenly.
“Florida—Oh, Beau! You’ll never guess! Just when we were about to leave, the best news!”
“Phil got signed?” He guessed.
“Yes! How did you guess! The Suns, can you believe it?”
“That’s great, Mom,” I could hear the smile in Beau’s voice.
“And you’ll like Jacksonville so much,” She began to gush. “I was a little bit worried when Phil started talking about Akron, what with the snow and everything, because you know how I hate the cold, but now Jacksonville! It’s always sunny, and the humidity really isn’t thatbad. We found the cutest house, yellow, with white trim, and a porch just like in an old movie, and this huge oak tree, it’s just a few minutes from the ocean, and you’ll have your own bathroom—”
“Wait, Mom!” Beau interrupted. I still had my eyes closed, but I could feel the tension in my body. This was the last thing I wanted, but of course, it was the best thing for him. How could I fight it?
Beau continued, “What are you talking about? I’m not going to Florida. I live in Forks.”
The smallest spark of hope ignited deep within me.
“But you don’t have to anymore, silly,” his mother laughed. “Phil will be able to be around so much more now… we’ve talked about it a lot, and what I’m going to do is trade off on the away games, half the time with you, half the time with him.”
I felt a wrenching feeling of despair fill me.
“Mom.” Beau began, hesitantly. “I wantto live in Forks. I realized it when I was back here in Phoenix. I missed it. I’m already settled in at school, and I have a couple of friends—”
Ohh, I see…His mother’s eyes had gone back to me in the chair.
Beau continued, “And Charlie needs me. He’s just all alone up there, and he can’t cook at all.”
“You want to stay in Forks?” From her tone, it was clear the idea was completely inconceivable to her. Oh, I bet that handsome boy has something to do with it. “Why?” Her tone was vaguely suspicious.
“I told you—school, Charlie—ouch!”
My eyes snapped open, he was wincing and his mother was placing a gentle hand on his forehead.
“Beau, honey, you hate Forks,” she said gently.
“It’s not so bad.”
“You don’t have to keep trying to like it.” She offered.
“Giving up is easy, trying is harder.” He repeated his earlier words to her.
“But trying makes all the difference.” She finished the little mantra, a smile in her voice.
Her head tilted to the side, I closed my eyes again just as she slowly turned to glance back at me. “Is it this boy?” She whispered.
Beau didn’t answer right away, then he dropped his voice to a whisper. “He’s part of it,” he admitted. “So, have you had a chance to talk to Edward?”
“Yes.” She hesitated. I quickly ran through the conversations in my mind, assuring myself I had been a perfect gentleman. “And I want to talk to you about that.” She continued.
“What about?”
“I think that boy is in love with you,” she accused in a low voice.
Well, perhaps I’m not as subtle or secretive as I’d like to believe I am.
“I think so, too,” Beau confided to her, matching her whispered tones.
Ah-ha! I knew it! “And how do you feel about him?” She asked, trying with little success to conceal the brimming curiosity in her voice.
He sighed, “I’m pretty crazy about him, I guess.”
“Well, he seemsvery nice, and, my goodness, he’s incredibly good-looking, but you’re so young Beau…” Her voice was unsure, and her mind was instantly thinking of her own past experiences with Charlie…
“Don’t worry, Mom.” Beau soothed, “It’s just a crush.”
“Oh, I’m sure,” Her playful tone said she knew better. Gosh, Phil should be calling soon…
“Do you need to go?”
“Phil’s supposed to call in a little while… he’s been so worried about you…”
“No problem, Mom. I won’t be alone.”
“I’ll be back soon. I’ve been sleeping here.” She said.
“Oh, Mom, you don’t have to do that! You can sleep at home—I’ll never notice.” That was true. He’d been lost to the world the last few days.
“I was too nervous,” she admitted sheepishly. “There’s been some crime in the neighborhood, and I don’t like being there alone.”
“Crime?” Beau’s voice was alarmed.
“Someone broke into that dance studio around the corner from the house and burned it to the ground—there’s nothing left at all! And they left a stolen car right out front. Do you remember when I used to teach dance there, honey?”
“I remember.” He made a small noise of pain again.
He can’t do anything without hurting… “I can stay, baby, if you need me.”
“No, Mom, I’ll be fine. Edward will be with me.”
That’s what I’m afraid of…“I’ll be back tonight.” She said, and I could tell from the direction of her voice she said it looking at me.
“I love you, Mom.”
“I love you, too, Beau. Please be careful when you walk, honey, I don’t want to lose you.”
I couldn’t keep a grin from spreading across my face.
The door opened then as a very tired nurse ambled into the room, I opened my eyes only slightly to see the nurse check the various tubes and wires Beau was connected to. His mother leaned forward and kissed his forehead, patted his gauze-wrapped hand, and left.
The nurse continued with her business. “How are you feeling, dear?”
“I’m fine,” Beau assured her.
“I’ll tell your RN that you’re awake. She’ll be in to see you in a minute.”
As soon as she closed the door, I was by Beau’s side.
“You stole a car?” He raised his eyebrows.
I smiled without shame. “It was a good car, very fast.”
“Edward!” He scolded. I only smiled. He sighed, “how was your nap?”
“Interesting.” I narrowed my eyes at him.
“What?”
I couldn’t meet his eyes as I spoke. “I’m surprised. I thought Florida… and your mother… well, I thought that’s what you would want. To go someplace where I can’t hurt you anymore.”
“Are you tired of having to save me all the time?” He asked.
His question surprised me. How could he think that? I supposed I should be pleased that there was no brain damage and he still thought the same way as before, even if it was completely backwards.
“No, Beau, of course not.” I assured him. “I would do anything to keep you safe. I would save you a hundred times over.”
“Then why would I go to Florida?”
“Because then…” I could barely force the words from me, they pained me so much, “then I couldn’t hurt you anymore. My very presence is a danger to you, Beau, every second I’m around you. I’m not worthy of your love, I’ll get you killed and—”
“Shhh,” he cut me off, his voice soft and comforting. “There’s a difference between the danger you put me in and the danger around me. Don’t you see that?”
“No. It’s all my fault.”
“You really are a beautiful idiot.” He sighed, “Do you want me to go away?”
“No!” It was the last thing I wanted. I could hardly bear the thought. “No, I don’t want to be without you Beau, of course not. But,” My eyes dropped again, “I’m the one putting you in danger… I’m the reason you’re here.”
“Yes, you are the reason. The reason I’m here—alive.”
“Barely. Covered in gauze and plaster and hardly able to move.”
“But I’m still here.” He insisted.
“I thought I lost you, Beau.” I could barely speak above a whisper as I recalled the horrible memories. “Seeing you there on the floor… crumpled and broken. Thinking I was too late, hearing you scream in pain—all those unbearable memories that I’ll carry with me for the rest of eternity. And the worst feeling… fearing that I couldn’t stop. I thought after all that, I would be the one to kill you myself.”
“But you didn’t”
“I could have. So easily.”
“But, again, you didn’t.” He sighed. “I’m here, Edward. I chose you. Maybe that makes me an idiot, but that’s what I want. You are what I want.”
“Even if I’m so terrible for you? Even if I put you in—”
“If you say you put me in danger one more time I’m going to hit you in the head with my plaster cast.”
I smiled a little, fully believing that he would somehow manage to do just that and he smiled back at me.
“I don’t seem to be strong enough to stay away from you.” I told him honestly.
“For once, I’m glad you’re not strong enough for something.” He teased gently.
My phone began to buzz in my pocket, I quickly glanced at the caller ID and put the phone to my ear in an instant.
“Hello?” I answered, confused as to why Emmett was calling me.
“Hey, bro, is Beau doing okay?” Emmett’s voice was serious—as much as it could be for him, at least.
I sighed. “Yes, he’s fine—”
“Alice said he woke up?”
“Yes…”
“Let me talk to him!” He demanded.
“Oh fine, here.” I moved the phone to Beau’s ear. “For you,” I sighed again.
“Hello?” Beau asked in an adorably cautious way.
“Hey, big guy!” Emmett’s voice boomed from the phone.
“Emmett! Hi!” Beau chuckled, “How are you?”
“How am I? How are you?” Emmett erupted in earsplitting laughter. I made a note that I would have to teach him how to talk to Beau without damaging his hearing. “You’re the one that fell through a window.” Emmett finished, teasing.
“Well, I’ve had better days.” Beau sighed.
That was quite the understatement.
“Beau,” Emmett’s voice was mildly gentler now, “I’m sorry I couldn’t stay. It was just…”
“I know, Emmett, thank you for trying.” Beau’s unfailing kindness never ceased to both impress and amaze me.
“Jasper says hey, too! He’s glad you’re awake!”
“Tell him I’m sorry for ditching him at the airport.” Beau said sincerely.
“He forgives you,” Emmett’s wide grin was evident in his voice. “Hey, wait, here’s someone else who wants to talk to you.”
There a faint sound of movement, and Emmett’s voice grew quiet as though he had pulled the phone away from his face. “Roy! Come on, babe!” he said. I raised an eyebrow, unsure if I wanted Royal to say anything to Beau. But before I had a chance to decide, it sounded as if someone grabbed the phone and huffed loudly.
“Hello, Beau.” Royal’s obnoxiously annoyed voice came over the phone. I gritted my teeth. “I’m glad you’re not dead.” Royal continued in a tone that said the exact reverse.
“Thanks…” Beau replied tentatively, “Hey, Royal?”
Silence.
“Thank you for watching over Charlie. I really appreciate it.”
There was another moment of silence, and just before I was about to take the phone back and start yelling, Royal answered, “You’re welcome, Beau.”
Another sound of shuffling and Emmett’s voice began booming from the phone again. “See? Everyone’s happy now!”
“Thanks, Emmett.” Beau chuckled.
“Hey, I’ll let you get back to Edward. Get better, big guy!”
“Bye, Emmett.”
I took the phone back and slid it into my pocket.
“See? They all love you.” I said. And it was true, and it was a comfort to me that my family cared about Beau so much. Though it didn’t compare to my feelings towards him, they were still strong.
“I’m glad,” he smiled.
I was so enraptured by the sweet smile that I barely noticed the nurse bustle into the room.
The poor thing is broken every which way, I do hope this young man isn’t wearing him out too much.
I sat perfectly still as she looked Beau over.
“Time for more pain meds, sweetheart?” she asked kindly, tapping the IV feed.
“No, no,” he mumbled. “I’m fine for now.”
It won’t do to put it off…No need to be brave, dear. It’s better if you rest.”
“Maybe in a bit?” Beau offered.
“Okay,” she sighed. “Hit the call button when you’re ready.” She turned and left the room without another word.
Beau was silent for a moment, his eyebrows pulled together, and then he looked up at me with a contemplative look in his eyes.
“Edward, why did you stop me from changing?”
“What?” The question threw me completely. I was completely confused on its meaning.
“Why didn’t you let the venom spread? By now I would be just like you.”
My body went completely stone and my jaw locked. How could he possibly know about that? I was careful not to tell him. He was incredibly intuitive, so perhaps he had deduced it for himself? No, I knew. Alice must have told him—and against my explicit instructions!
He watched my reaction for a moment and his brows furrowed further.
“Mind your temper.” He warned me.
I took a deep breath for show and he sighed.
“I’m just asking, because since you seem so afraid of hurting me or getting me killed, wouldn’t it have been easier to let me change? Let me become like you? Able to defend myself. Maybe even I would have the chance to save you for a change.”
It was sound logic. I couldn’t argue against that. I folded my arms along the side of his bed and rested my chin upon them. I worked to control my temper, though I would still be having a serious conversation with Alice when I next saw her.
“You havesaved me,” was all I could manage to say and it was, after all, incredibly true. Had he not saved me from my monotonous existence? Had he not saved me from being a complete monster? Hadn’t his love and kindness taught me to be better?
His hand found my arm and squeezed it gently, “Edward…”
“You don’t know what you’re asking.” I said softly, staring intently at the woven thread on the edge of his pillowcase. “I’ve had nearly a century to think about this, and I’m still not sure.”
“Do you wish that Carlisle hadn’t saved you?”
“No, I don’t wish that.” I felt that was largely true. I tried to think of a way to explain it better to him. “But my life was over. I wasn’t giving anything up.”
“I see,” his voice was thoughtful.
“I can’t do it, Beau. I won’t do that to you.”
“I’m not asking you to.”
My eyes flashed to his. I hadn’t expected that. “What?”
“I’m not asking you to change me, I’m just asking why you didn’t let me change?”
It was a strange feeling; relief mingled with sadness. Relief that he wasn’t asking for this curse, but sadness because I knew that somewhere, sometime, it was a possibility for him. A course he could follow.
“Alice already saw it, didn’t she?” He guessed, as intuitive as ever. “That’s why the things she says upset you. She knows I’m going to be like you… someday.”
“She’s wrong.” I argued. “She also saw you dead, but that didn’t happen, either.”
“But this is the course I’m on, isn’t it?” He pushed, “The decision has been made. It’s just a matter of following that course.”
I couldn’t argue with the truth, I could only gaze into his deep silver eyes. Alice’s visions seemed fairly certain now. The timing was unclear, but the end result was always the same.
“I’m not asking you to change me tomorrow, or even in three days.” He soothed, “I just need to know where everything stands. I made this decision, and if my vampire boyfriend’s vampire sister can see where that decision leads me then I’d just like to be prepared.”
“Am I worth it?” I didn’t need him to answer, I already knew I wasn’t.
“I don’t think I would have put myself through all this if I didn’t think you were.”
His unfailing kindness again. “You have a lot of pain medication in your system right now; you’re not in a clear state of mind.” I scowled.
“Mind your temper, and don’t argue. It’s not good for me.” He sniffed lightly.
I smirked. “Yes, sir.”
“Edward?”
“Yes, Beau?”
“Do you truly love me?”
What a question! How could I not love him for how wonderful and perfect he was? “Of course, more than anything.”
“My mom once told me that sometimes you only share a moment with someone, but sometimes you share forever with them. I think we have a shot at forever.”
“You do?” I continued to stare deeply into the depths of his eyes, wishing once again I could hear the thoughts behind them and understand what he saw in a monster like myself that would make him so sure. “Do you really think I’m worth forever?”
“I really do,” he took a deep breath, wincing slightly, “do you think I’m worth forever?”
That was easy. “You’re worth more than anything in this world.”
“Then do you promise? Not to give up? Promise not to leave?”
I wanted to answer immediately, but how could I be that selfish? How could I rob him of a normal human life? The truth was I was too weak to refuse him this, and I was too selfish to not want it desperately. “I promise, Beau.” I leaned in and kissed him on his forehead.
He smiled contentedly.
“How are you feeling?” I asked, eyeing the button to call the nurse. By my calculations, the pain medication they’d previously administered would be wearing off by now.
“A little sore, to be honest.”
“Do you want to go back to sleep?”
“No, but maybe I should.”
I reached for the button.
“Yes?” A bored voice squawked through the speaker on the wall.
“I think we’re ready for more pain medication,” I said.
“I’ll send in the nurse.” The voice replied.
“Ugh,” Beau sighed. “Why does it have to hurt so much.”
“I’m sorry, Beau.” I wished I could fix everything, I never wanted him to feel pain again.
“It’s fine, I just don’t want to close my eyes.”
I smiled and took his warm face between my hands. “I told you I’m not going anywhere. Don’t be afraid. I promise you, as long as it makes you happy, I’ll be here.”
He smiled back. “I’m pretty sure that’ll be forever.”
“Oh, you’ll get over it—” I teased, “it’s just a crush.”
“Oh, shut up.”
“That’s the beautiful thing about being human,” I said softly. “Things change.”
His eyes narrowed. “Don’t hold your breath.”
I was laughing when the nurse came in, brandishing a syringe.
I knew he was riling him up! “Excuse me,” She said to me brusquely.
I moved out of her way and crossed to the end of the small room, leaning against the wall. I folded my arms and waited for her to finish.
“Here you go, dear.” The nurse smiled at Beau as she injected the medication into his IV line. “You’ll feel better now.”
“Thanks,” he mumbled. Almost immediately his eyes began to flutter and drop.
“That ought to do it,” The nurse muttered.
She glanced back at me one more time—a scolding expression on her face—then she left. By the time the door closed I was back by Beau’s side, my finger brushing along his cheek.
“Stay.” He mumbled, slurring the word.
“I will,” I promised. “Like I said, as long as it makes you happy… as long as it’s what’s best for you.”
His head wobbled slightly. “’S not the same thing,” he mumbled.
I laughed at his adorable sleepy state. “Don’t worry about that now, Beau. You can argue with me when you wake up.”
Half his mouth turned up in a smile. “’Kay.”
I leaned in, my lips at his ear.
“I love you,” I whispered.
“Me, too.”
“I know,” I laughed quietly.
His head turned slightly, his lips turning into an attractive, soft pout. I gently touched my lips to his.
“Thanks,” he sighed.
“Anytime.”
I placed my hand on his, and he squeezed it gently and sighed, happily.
He gently slid into a deep slumber and I would stay right there by his side. For as long as he loved me, as long as he wanted me, and for as long as it was what was best for him. I would stay, and I would be eternally content.
