#febwhumpday26

[daydreamingofspace]

DAY 27: POST-VICTORY COLLAPSE

Fandom: Star Wars

Rating: T

Warnings: mention of death, character death, panik attack, war

Pong Krell is dead.

Pong Krell is dead and Rex's instincts kick in. He begins to think about the procedure: he would have to write a report, the Council would probably want him to testify, (surely a lot of paperwork was ahead of him), he would have to tell Anakin and Ahsoka about what happened…

It is this what makes his train of thoughts stop.

He hadn’t thought about his General and his padawan since that moment. What would he tell them? Anakin would be furious of course, and Ahsoka will be too, but also worried about them. Anakin had only been away for a few days, and this happened. It was not his fault, obviously, but to Rex’s surprise, he finds himself blaming his general nevertheless.

He had abandoned them, left them in Krell’s hands. He went away and this happened.

“There was no way he could have known”, the rational part of him tells him.

“He is a Jedi, he should have known” the impossibly hurt and damaged part of him tries to justify. And it’s a part of him he knows it will never heal, not completely, so Rex listens to it because it is louder. Pain is always louder.

He knows it is not Anakin’s fault, but he is their general and he wasn’t there when they were being massacred. When they were being used as toys in an imaginary war. “Maybe it was the will of the Force” the voice says, ironically, and Rex hates that it sounds like Anakin’s.

“Maybe you deserved this” and now he can’t tell if it is his general’s voice or his own.

All the memories he had been trying to keep away are right there, ready to haunt him, and he can’t run away because the voice is too loud.

He stops feeling the ground under his feets, or his surroundings, or even his body.

He sees them, all of his fallen brothers. He is familiar with death but they didn’t deserve this,, dying for a mere game, for Krell’s amusement. He sees Waxer. He had died by the hands of one of his brothers. Damn it, he could have died by his hands even, he could never know.

“He told us they were wearing our armour”

The pain in his eyes will be forever carved in his soul, his pain was his pain too.

“You have killed your brothers” the voice says.

He hates autocompassion, but the voice is too loud.

He hears gunshots, and he knows each one means one more of his men, his brothers, is dead. He yelled to stop firing, he shouts it now once again, or so he thinks, because the voice is telling him it is not enough, Krell’s plan has worked, he has fooled you, it’s your fault.

The voice is too loud.

- Capitain?

“You have killed your brothers. It’s your fault”

He blames Krell, Anakin, the Jedi, this war, and yet there's nothing it can be done about it, and that thought is even worse than all his hate and loss.

“Capitain”

Someone or something touches him, and he snaps back to reality. With his anger making his blood boil, he reached for his guns. No one will ever hurt him or his brothers again. They will have to go through him.

Before shooting, he looked at who was before him, with his hands up, palms facing him, showing there was nothing on them.

“Kix”

Terrified, he puts the pistols down. All he could think of was his brother, kneeled down next to the wounded men, healing them, talking to them, comforting them.

-I’m… I’m sorry… I- I don’t know w- what…- he made himself say, even though he still doesn’t feel his body and all he can see are dead bodies.

-It´s okay- he cut him, which Rex thanked, because he had no word to explain what had happened.

Apparently, Kix had.

-A panic attack. It’s quite common after traumatic events, just as the one we all just lived. Don’t worry about it, just listen to me, focus on what is real, it will soon be over I promise…

Rex did focused on his voice, because it was nicer than the one on his head, and started to sense his body aging. It felt uncomfortable at first.

-Just… don’t blame yourself, don’t listen to your guilt, okay?- Kix continued.

Rex wondered how many times Kix had felt guilty when one of his patients died, or how many times he had had a panic attack. He guesses far too many. His advice had described what he had felt too accurately for it to be casual.

Rex began acknowledging his surroundings past Kix and himself, hearing more than just his pain and anger, and feeling his body completely.

The wounds were still there, the part of him that was forever destroyed.

So he just collapses. He falls to his knees and he is crying, begging, and falling apart.

Kix touches him again, hugging him, but this time it doesn’t matter.

He has failed his men because too many are dead, and he is failing them again by not being strong, by crying his eyes out for what he has lived, for what he has to remember forever.

But he can’t stop because it is his fault, he knows it, and nothing could ever make him change his mind.

link to my ao3 work

tags: @febuwhump

[linecrosser]

Febwhump 2023 - No.26 - Forced to choose

Two choices: Either tell what I want to know, or get hurt. So. What will it be?

[sisters-sideblog]

Day 26: “Please Don’t Do This” (Twilight)

“Twilight?”

Hyrule held his hands out at his sides, open and lax. Unfortunately, Twilight knew that didn’t actually mean he was disarmed, what with Hyrule’s magic. Even, apparently, like this.

“Twilight, it’s all right,” he soothed, and couldn’t be sure Twilight understood a word. Ugly lines of black magic crawled from under the bandages and up his chest, his face. Hyrule wanted badly to glance over his shoulder, call for someone, but he was alone in the room and he didn’t dare look away.

Twilight’s muscles bunched. Getting ready to spring, run, attack, something.

“Twilight, please don’t do this,” Hyrule begged.

Twilight’s eyes glittered, animal-like in the lantern light.

[myfriendcallsmeasickwoman19]

Please Don't Do This

This is months before William escapes so he doesn't have to deal with this for long.

***********

William looked around the courtyard making sure there were no guards around.

He was clear for now. Just like the servant boy said no one was guarding the area at the time. But he had only a tiny window of time. Before the next guard takes up their shift.

He quietly made his way to the back gate. It was just beyond reach. Being kept in this house wasn't something he wanted. His grandfather and teacher were holding him here. He's grandfather provided the security and most attempts have been unsuccessful but they've still taught him what not to do and what to fix next time.

This time he was getting out. He just had to he couldn't stay here anymore it was torture. He missed his sister.

He could slip past this gate. It wasn't as heavily guarded as the other one. Plus evening makes people sloppy.

He made a smoke bomb to distract them. He put on his makeshift mask and threw it and watched the red smoke rise. He moved closer to the men and slipped past them.

As he opened the large metal gate an alarm sounded and within seconds he was surrounded.

He cursed then slowly turned, putting his hands up in surrender. He was caught again.

"Who do we have here?" A large man came. He was in charge of the security here. "an intruder?" He said with a terrifying grin.

Sure William was dressed in clothes that weren't his and hiding part of his face but the man knew who he was.

"You know we have an important guest and any intruders might be trying to threaten his life." His direct subordinate said standing next to him. She had the servant boy that held William in her grasp. He was struggling but she had a tight hold on him. "And oh look, a spy." She said in a mock realization.

"Stop." William moved forward pulling down the mask. "Let him go. It's me, Prince William."

But still the men came from behind and chained him.

The head of the security moved closer to him. He squinted his eyes as if to try and figure out where he knew William. "In such low light and in such low class clothes how could we ever think of you as royalty."

William glared at the man struggling against the chains that were held by other guards. "You'll pay for this."

"Oh threatening aren't we? Maybe we should teach our intruder a lesson. Hmmm?" He motioned for the men to take William.

They roughly dragged him to a cell.

"I'm sorry your highness." The servant boy said. Being dragged next to William. "It was for my family."

Looking at him now William noticed he was a little beat up. "It's okay." As he said that he was tugged forward violently and he tripped and fell in the dirt.

He cursed then rose to his feet glaring violently at the second in command who seems to have taken control.

When they reached the cell William was chained to the wall and the servant boy was let go.

"Nice job boy." The commander said and then let him go.

The cell was dirty and a little dark with the moon's light shining from the tiny window and a few lowlights illuminating the tiny room.

William felt a betrayal for a second time and realized he couldn't trust anyone in this place. The boy gave William a sympathetic glance then looked away. William lowered his head as he felt defeated.

He saw the boots of the second in command. She forcefully grabbed his head and made him look up.

William could see her deep dark eyes even the hazel hue in the light provided.

She smirked. "No boss, looks nothing like our little royal." She shouted back to him. They were just playing with him.

"Oh well you know what we should do to intruders. After all, we have the future ruler's brother in our care and the current ruler's grandson." He mockingly stated.

William kicked at the woman's abdomen and she fell back in pain. Coughing out as the air was knocked out.

After recovering from that she looked pissed and stood up. "Why you………" she moved closer and hit him.

His head snapped to the side and spit out blood.

There's no use calling out to Mr Shou. Nothing goes on here without him knowing and William was naive thinking he could have done something without him knowing. Shou was given free reign on his life so he's grandfather definitely won't do anything to stop this. They also made sure to keep Elenore as far as possible so he was alone.

He glared at them both.

"Proud aren't you?" The commander said. Pulling a punch in William's ribs. William gasped, holding in a cry of pain.

"Let's deal with that now aye?" The man threw in a kick and William groaned as the pain went through him.

They went back and forth for some time and he was helpless to stop it. At some point they stopped. William saw a third pair of feet and he couldn't make it out because of how blurred his vision was but they told the two guards that was enough.

Everything hurts. But they didn't hit him anymore and he was left in the cell for the night.

Before they all left William swore he heard them saying something about learning a lesson.

He coughed out the blood and groaned. Tears fell from his eyes and he just wanted to get out of here.

He fell asleep at least and when morning came the pain was still there and he was still in the cell. Breathing was hard and there was pain all over his body.

Someone walked into the cell and it was Mr Shou. He looked worried but William knew it was a farce.

"What have they done to you?" He asked, still acting.

William looked away.

"Come on, both of you. Take him to get treated."

The two guards from before unchained him and lifted him up.

But he pulled away from them. Spitting out the residual blood at their feet.

"Don't touch me." He demanded weakly. Then they cleared his path as he limped out holding his side.

"Weren't you a little rough sir?" The commander asked Shou.

Shou shrugged. "Maybe but he was frustrating me. I'm tired of having to look for him each time he tries to escape."

Shou walked away from them.

"He's brutal. This is more than tough love." The second in command said to her boss.

"Yeah the guy might actually be going too far with the kid. Did you hear what he's going to do?"

The commander shook his head. He might actually be taking this too far.

*************

In his room William tried to take the bloody and dirty clothes off and each movement hurt. Later some people came to help him but he didn't want to be around anyone.

He sent them away.

Then Shou came in.

"Let them treat your wounds." He said a little impatient.

William turned to him looking disgusted.

Shou's eyebrows were furrowed and he looked impatient . "I won't deal with your tantrums anymore."

"Get out. I don't want to see your face." William growled.

"How much longer will you act out, young Prince William."

William scoffed.

Why was he sounding like William was an immature child?

William would have said something back but then the servant boy was pulled in.

He was beaten just as bad as William, maybe worse.

One guard kicked his leg and the boy's knees hit the floor. He groaned.

Shou walked over to a guard.He glanced up at Shou who was now holding a blade he got from a guard.

William felt a little terrified. "I must admit I lost my temper with the beating but if you continue acting out."

"What….. are you doing?" William's voice was wobbly.

"Teaching you what will happen if you continue with this." He stood behind the boy and dug the blade in his back. The boy whimpered. "You're 17, you must force my hand like a child."

"Alright. Let him go. I'll do what you want." William pleaded and Shou still didn't look convinced.

He dug the blade in the boy's back again and he cried out in pain.

"You must understand Prince William. This is also important to the people."

"Alright I understand. Just please don't do this. Please let him go."

Shou shook his head and sighed.

The blade dug in deep and the boy's eyes widened as he gasped in pain.

"But you really forced my hand." Shou said, pulling the blade out.

William fell to the floor as he saw the blood drip from the blade. The boy fell forward.

William felt sick and rushed to the window letting his stomach release the disgust and fear it had.

Then he slid down the wall when he was done.

Shou came closer. He didn't look disappointed or impatient. Rather more understanding and caring.

"We can't have traitors like him around." He reached out his hand to William and William pulled away instinctively. He looked terrified.

The former image of an understanding and kind mentor that he knew, no thought he knew shattered in that moment. Sure after finding out what the man was actually doing with each concoction William made shook him but this broke him.

He was terrified of the large man with short blonde hair and small oval glasses. As he pulled back.

"I think you understand now your highness. Any more disobedience and I'll do that again to someone random for every moment you're gone from this compound without my authorization."

William just kept looking at the lifeless boy on his bedroom floor. As the blood kept pooling on the floor out of him.

"Do you understand?" Shou asked.

William didn't answer.

Still stunned from what just happened. He's probably never seen a person be killed. He's seen a dead body, he's just never seen someone killed. He was shaking from the new experience.

"Do you understand?!" Shou asked again a little louder, making William jump. Then he shook his head violently.

Shou's demeanor changed again.

"Alright, good. Well you can't sleep here. There's blood everywhere. Sleep in the spare bedroom while they clean up." He said, sounding concerned.

Two servants helped William up and led him out of the room. William didn't try to resist, still in shock.But he couldn't get his eyes off of the body on the floor. This is his fault. The boy wouldn't have died if he didn't help William.

************

In the spare room William didn't say a word as they treated his wounds. He had a far off look on his face. The image kept playing in his mind. He could hear the boy's last breath. He didn't even notice as they finished treating him.

That night he felt like he couldn't breathe. For the first time his chest refused to let in air and was left gasping. He felt unshakable dread and couldn't sleep.

****************

@irathgo @luna-rein @smellofsnoww @febuwhump

[daydreamingofspace]

DAY 26: COUNCEALING AN INJURY

Fandom: Star Wars

Rating: T

Warningd: Blood and injury, extreme pain, guilt, mention of slavery

Looking into the mirror, Anakin can no longer pretend it’s just a scratch. There was no doubt that the blaster shot had hit him, but pain was nos stranger to him, so he had just endured it, waiting to be in the Temple, so he can rest and everything will be alright. His wounds had always healed faster, after all.

But it doesn’t look like this one will heal fast, though.

The wound was on the left side of his abdomen. It was like a trench on his flesh, open, bloody, red all around it. He could see where the blaster had burnt him, and where the wound had reopened, sending waves of pain at the pace of his heartbeat. Each time, it burned, igniting his whole body with the pain. Moving made him want to throw up, every movement opening more cracks on his burn, blood coming out of them and making everything more messy.

He didn’t know how to treat it, that was for sure, and still he couldn’t bring himself to tell Obi-Wan.

That thought mixed his pain with guilt.

For a Padawan, one’s  relationship with their Master is the most sacred bond one could share, he should be able to tell him.

But an irrational fear was making him stay still, unable to move. A fear that told him that Obi-Wan would call him weak. He had managed to get hurt on his first mission, he was useless as an apprentice and as a Jedi.

A fear that told him that Obi-Wan would take him back to Tatooine if he learned about his wound. He would realise that Anakin wasn't the Chosen One, just a slave from a desert planet and would make him return where he belonged.

The fear that paralyzed him when he thought about it only made him feel more guilty. His mother was on Tatooine, still a slave, going back to her shouldn't make him want to throw up.

And still, he knew he couldn’t go back there, he just couldn’t.

A noise near him made him snap out of his spiral of pain and guilt, only to be replaced by the fear of being discovered. 

Mirrors were not usual in the Jedi Temple, so he had had to go to a public restroom to look at his wound. 

-Anakin, are you there? -a voice said as he quickly put his robes on again.

Great, it had to be Obi-Wan looking for him, of course. 

-I'm here Master! - he responded, trying to sound calm.

-Are you all right, Anakin? You are never late to our sword practice.

Anakin‘s panic grew as he heard his Master coming closer.

-I'm alright- he lied, fighting with the belt, trying to close it around his clothes. -After our mission I had to adjust to the Coruscant climate, that's all, I was just feeling a bit dizzy.

When his Master entered, Anakin looked at him, trying to hide his horror. But he just looked down at him, let out a sigh and spoke

-Let's go, then.

-Yes Master- he managed to say.

The guilt returned, the truth not told, burning him. But the fear was still there, keeping his mouth shut. 

The thought of the practice that awaited him only made him think of more pain and suffering, but he would endure it. Pain was not unknown to him, after all.

He was not weak.

He will be a Jedi. 

Greeting his teeth, he followed his master, each step making his abdomen hurt more badly. He felt sick, but he was not weak.

The image of his wound, open and bloody, never left his mind, but that only made him more determined.

He wouldn't get hurt on the next mission, and if that meant enduring the pain now, let there be it.

He will be a Jedi. 

link to my ao3 work

tags: @febuwhump