Feeling better physically, but holy shit am I in a rotten mood.
I can’t put my finger on exactly why I'm in a rotten mood, but I sure am in one! It started last night after trying to fix some edits I’d made on my blog website (while learning how to do some basic coding... and I screwed up because coding is hard without a proper teacher), and because I just sort of got frustrated and rage quit, on top of starting to feel sick again, my mood got super sour and I took the rest of the night to do nothing but drink tea and watch Netflix.
Even though I went to bed earlier than normal and slept decently well, I found it incredibly hard to wake up this morning, and therefore I was 20 minutes late getting into the office. This would usually not be too much of an issue on a day where my boss is not in, except that when she called this morning she told our front desk person to let her know when I got in, so she was emailed that I got in at 8:20 and not only do I feel like crap about it, it pisses me off (even though I have no right to be pissed about it because I was the one who was late)...
On top of all of this, I'm generally not a morning person anyway, and super cheery morning people bother me on a good day, so because of how I'm feeling today and how chipper our front desk person is this morning (and he’s always chatty when he’s in a super good mood), he won’t stop coming into the office to talk my ear off in a semi-hyper conversational style and I'm sitting here trying my VERY BEST not to let my irritation show.
I don’t know what this mood is coming from, but I have a weird feeling it’s stemming from trying to start this pop music and feminism blog and how daunting it all is and how I don’t know if people will even want to read what I have to say or think it’s relevant or whatever-have-you, and it’s starting to get to me. It’s just so fucking scary, after not having written much of substance (aside from a few lengthy feminist facebook rant posts) since university, and even then I didn't write on popular music then because it wasn't even on my radar at the time. BASICALLY, I'm looking at this task I've decided to take on and think I'm completely insane because no one is going to want to read it, or no one is going to think it’s very good, and I've trapped myself in this mood of self doubt and frustration and uuuuggghhhh.
Anyway, that’s all for now. Hopefully my mood gets better today because I feel so fucking crummy and I hate it.
