Was re-reading the first book and had this idea while Chuck has this conversation with Thomas. First thing I've written in years! There it goes :)
The Glade had settled into its usual nighttime hush, the kind that would amplify every small noise, making it feel louder than it should. Torches flickered about, their flames snapping softly every só often, providing some extra light, even though the moon was quite enough. In the distance, Zart, the Keeper of the Track-hoes, barked one last command before the silence spread again. You never liked how quiet it got after the sun set. No crickets, no owls, no nothing. Not that you could remember ever hearing any of those, but you knew that’s what night was supposed to sound like. In the Glade, it was just silence. It was unsettling. It made you think too much.
You walked beside Minho, having just finished patching up some of his cuts and bruises after today’s lengthy run.
“Tell me again” you started softly, not wanting your voice to echo too much “why did you decide you wanted to monkey around today and start climbing that ivy?”
Minho snickered “Monkey around” Normally he just ran inside the maze, climbing walls didn’t really take you guys anywhere. But over two years running every single day gets boring, apparently. “I like that expression.”
You shot him a look “Answer the question”
He shrugged in response “Got bored.”
“Getting bored almost made you fall. You could’ve seriously hurt yourself” his hands had cuts and friction burns from holding onto the ivy too tighly.
“I slipped, there’s a difference” he added matter-of-factly, clearly trying to hide his embarrassment.
“But you should run” you tilted your head “You’re a Runner. That’s the whole job description.” eyebrow raised, you sometimes couldn’t understand how his brain worked. Minho was mostly predictable, but the rest of the time he pulled stunts like this.
“Yeah, well” he picked up a pebble and shuffled it between his fingers, fidgeting with it “Running gets old. Same corridors, same turns, same dead ends. Even if they’re not, sometimes they feel like it” he confessed “Thought maybe the walls had something interesting to show me today” you couldn’t imagine what it felt like. Life in the Glade was pretty repetitive and you only had been sent there for a little over a year. Minho had been a Runner for double that time, it surely wasn’t easy.
You thought of a snarky remark but decided against it, now just walking in a comfortable silence alongside the boy. You were walking towards the Homestead where most of the Gladers had already dragged themselves to bed. You weren’t tired, your mind beginning to buzz like it always did when things got too quiet.
Suddenly, you slowed your pace. Minho noticed immediately, he always noticed.
“What?” he asked, scanning the shadows as if expecting a Griever to pop out of nowhere.
You frown a little, tilting your head and trying to focus “Did you hear that?”
He copied your movements, listening. At first, there was nothing. He was about to tell you he couldn’t hear klunk when there it was - a small, broken inhale.
Minho’s posture changed, shoulders squaring automatically. “Someone better not be sneaking food again,” he grumbled, though his voice was lower now, to prevent the food smuggler from hearing him.
The sound came again, barely there. You turned slowly, trying to figure out where it came from. It seemed to come from behind the Gardens, the opposite way to the Homestead. You followed it without a word, Minho on your heels, but wishing he just kept walking to his bed instead.
Past stacked crates, tools and the tomato patch, which now stood proud and healthy with big stalks, was Chuck, sitting on a small empty space, knees to his chest and face burried in his arms with trembling shoulders.
Minho stopped short “Oh,” he said under his breath, like he hadn’t been prepared for that.
Your chest tightened at the scene, worry growing inside you by the second “Chuck?” you called quietly.
The boy jerked up and flinched so hard he almost tipped over. Scrubbing quickly at his face with the heel of his hand “I wasn’t crying,” he blurted. “Shuckin’ dust got in my eyes.”
“In the middle of the night?” Minho said flatly.
“Yeah. Night dust.”
Minho crossed his arms “Hope it’s not contagious”
You nudged him on the shins with your elbow without looking at him, as if to say “Behave”.
He huffed and looked away, studying the Maze walls like they were suddenly fascinating. He was not one for big words and reassurance, that was more your job – not just because you were better at it, but you were also the Keeper of the Med-Jacks. You quickly realized treating the outside wounds was not enough. Especially being a girl in a place full of teenage boys, it’s like they were never taught or conditioned to acknowledge that they, too, had emotions and had to deal with them.
You softened your voice, focusing back on the small sniffling boy in front of you. “Hey. It’s okay.”
Chuck tried to laugh, but it fell apart halfway through. “No, it’s not. It’s just-” he swallowed hard, hesitating “It’s stupid.”
“If it hurts you, it’s valid, it’s not stupid” Chuck sniffed, looking anywhere but at you. For once, he didn’t have a smart, slightly annoying comment ready. No grin or sarcasm you would normally find coming out of the 12 year old.
He swallowed and took a deep breath “It’s messed up, Y/N. Feeling like your chest’s getting ripped open ‘cause you miss something… But you don’t even know what it is.” His voice cracked and he clenched his jaw like he hated himself for it. “I don’t remember them. My family. Not their faces. Not their voices. But I know they’re there. Somewhere.”
The night pressed in around them and you could feel Minho shifting his weight behind you. He looked like he’d rather face a Griever alone than stand there.
“I keep thinking,” he continued, quieter now, “what if they’re looking for me? What if they think I just disappeared? And I can’t even remember them enough to miss them right.”
You felt something twist inside you, sharp and sudden. The Maze took memories, sure. But it didn’t take the feeling of losing them. You missed your family as well, even though you had no idea if you had one. But for sure you did.. right?
You didn’t hesitate, moving closer and wrapping your arms around him. Chuck froze for half a second, then collapsed into you like he’d been waiting for permission. His face was pressed against your shoulder and the quiet crying started again, softer this time. Minho felt something in his chest twist uncomfortably as he watched it all unfold in front of him.
He’d seen you patch people up after scrapes and rough days, argue with shuck-faced Gally without backing down, head always up high like you’ve got something to prove. But this… This was different. You held Chuck like he was something fragile and important, like he wasn’t just the annoying Greenie who talked too much.
Your hand began slowly and carefully moving around Chuck’s hair “It’s not stupid” you murmured “Missing them means they mattered. Even if you can’t see their faces, your heart remembers. That’s not something the Maze can take.”
For a while, neither of you spoke. A beetle blade skittered somewhere in the dark, its faint clicking almost comforting compared to the silence. Chuck’s breathing evened out, but he still didn’t move away. Minho now sat on an overturned bucket, tossing the same pebble from before against the dirt with lazy flicks of his fingers. You remained on the same patch of dirt watching Chuck pick at the frayed hem of his shirt. He’d been quiet for a while. Too quiet.
“Y/N?” he said finally, making you look up and hum in response.
He hesitated, like he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear the answer. “Do you think I have parents? Real parents?” Minho’s pebble missed his hand and dropped but he did no effort to pick it up.
Chuck kept going, words tumbling now. “Most of the guys who’ve gone through the Changing remember terrible things they won’t even talk about. Makes me think maybe I don’t got anything good waiting for me.” He swallowed. “So… you think it’s really possible I have a mom and a dad out in the world somewhere? Missing me?” His voice dipped lower. “You think they cry at night?”
The question hung in the air, fragile as glass. You didn’t answer right away, not out of uncertainty, simply because it pained you too much to see Chuck, normally such a playful chatterbox, breaking like this. He is just a kid, you thought.
“Yeah,” you simply said, quietly.
Chuck blinked at your answer “Yeah?”
“I think you do.”
He searched your face, like he was trying to figure out if you were just being nice, if you were just trying to shut him up.
“You don’t know that,” he said.
“No,” you agreed. “I don’t.” a slow exhale came out of your nose “But one thing I know for certain. You didn’t just appear out of nowhere. Someone held you when you were little. Someone gave you a name and took care of you. Someone taught you how to talk, how to walk. You didn’t learn how to be you by yourself.” no longer embracing him, you know held his hands in your hands, where you drew random invisible figures, hoping it would bring him reassurance.
Chuck’s mouth pressed into a thin line as his lower lip wobbled, quiet tears starting to pool at his eyes.
You managed to steady your voice “And if they’re out there… If they’re alive… then yeah. I think they miss you. For sure they cry for you”
Minho shifted on the bucket. “Parents are annoying,” he muttered “From what I remember, anyway.”
Chuck scoffed, now wiping a stray tear that had managed to escape down his cheek “You don’t even remember anything.”
“Exactly,” Minho said “Probably blocked it out on purpose.”
You almost smiled, but kept your attention on Chuck.
“Listen,” you continued, your tone careful, grounded “Even if the world’s messed up, even if bad things happened before this, even if you can’t be with them now… That doesn’t erase the fact that you are someone’s baby. That matters.”
Chuck’s chin trembled, and he hated that it did “You really think they cry?” he whispered.
Your throat tightened but you didn’t let it show too much “Your mom and dad are very lucky to have you as a son, Chuckie. And I’m sure they miss you terribly” your vision started to get a little too blurry for your taste “And I’m also sure” you added “The day they see you again, it’s going to be the best day in their whole entire lives”
Chuck looked down at his hands, no longer hiding his tears, voice coming as barely anything more than a whisper “I just… I don’t wanna be forgotten.” The words were small, honest.
You reached forward and nudged his knee lightly so he’d look at you “You’re not forgettable, kid, trust me.” you chuckled softly “Besides, one is only ever forgotten when the last person who loves them disappears. And if I recall correctly, we are still here” you said, gesturing for you and Minho, who was now turned to you both, no longer as awkward as before “As well as *all* those shanks back there” you said now gesturing towards the Homestead and the hammocks camped outside.
A weak laugh escaped him. Minho, who watched the whole thing, felt something warm and unsettling spreading through him. You would be like this with anyone, he realized. Not just Chuck, anyone who needed it. But right now, under the moonlight with the night pressing in, you looked like the safest place in the whole Glade. The runner shoved his hands into his pockets before he did something embarrassing, like say that out loud. He cleared his throat “She’s right. You’re stuck with us, shank. That’s permanent.”
Chuck wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. “Lucky me.”
“We’ll find out one day, about all of it. And when we do… you can decide what to do with it. But until then? You don’t have to pretend you don’t care.” Chuck nodded, just once.
Minho leaned back, staring up at the slice of stars visible above the Maze walls. “If your parents are out there,” he said, voice quieter than usual, “They better appreciate you. Otherwise I’ll personally tell them they’re shuck-brained.”
After a moment, he wiped his face one last time while standing up, trying to regain whatever scraps of dignity he thought he’d lost. “Don’t tell nobody,” he mumbled
“Your secret’s safe.” you swore, getting up too.
Chuck squared his shoulders, forcing on a crooked grin that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Good. ‘Cause I got a reputation to maintain.”
“Yeah,” she said “Terrifying.”
He rolled his eyes, but the worst of the sadness had dulled “Thanks, Y/N…” he added sheepishly “… and you” he added as if just remembering Minho was also there.
As he walked back toward the Homestead, you stayed where you were, watching him go. The Maze walls loomed high above you, silent and uncaring. But for the first time that night, the quiet didn’t feel quite as heavy.
-
Minho didn’t say anything at first. You leaned back down against one of the crates, stretching your legs out in front of you. “You okay?” you asked.
He glanced at you “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You get weirdly quiet when feelings happen.”
He simply huffed a laugh through his nose, picking up the pebble again, rolling it between his fingers instead of throwing it this time. “You’re good at that.”
“At what?” you frowned slightly.
He gestured vaguely in the direction Chuck had gone. “That.”
“Talking?” it came out more sarcastically than you had intended.
“Not just talking.” He hesitated, which for Minho was practically a confession. “You just… know what to say. You don’t make it sound fake, or like you’re trying too hard.”
You looked down at your hands, feeling that was not quite true “I don’t always know what to say.”
“Could’ve fooled me.”
Silence slipped in once more.
“You didn’t have to stay,” you said after a moment “You could’ve left it to me.”
Minho looked almost offended as he spoke in a higher pitched voice “And let you have all the glory?”
You nudged his boot with yours, supressing a smile “Shank.”
He nudged you back, a little firmer and more serious “You think I don’t care about the kid?”
“I know you do.” he went quiet at that. A breeze drifted through the Glade, cool against your skin. Somewhere near the walls, ivy rustled faintly.
Minho studied you in the dim light. The way you’d crouched in front of Chuck without hesitation. The way your voice had softened but never broken. The way you’d made the Maze feel smaller just by sitting there.
“You’d make a good…” He stopped himself.
You tilted your head in confusion “A good what?”
He looked away quickly, regretting ever opening his mouth “Nothing.”
You narrowed your eyes, knowing exactly where this was going “Minho.”
He groaned quietly. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Say my name like that.”
“Like what?” you were getting a little tired of this game of charades you didn’t agree to.
“Like you’re about to dig into my brain.” He knew, knew you were way too deep inside his brain to pull out now.
You grinned faintly “Maybe I am.”
He shook his head, but he was smiling now despite himself “You’d make a good leader,” he muttered finally.
You blinked, not having thought about this outcome “That’s what you were going to say?”
“Don’t look so surprised.” he crossed his arms, trying to act cool.
“I thought you were going to say something embarrassing.”
“I was not.”
“You hesitated.”
“Strategic pause.”
You laughed and the sound hit him square in the chest.
He exhaled. “You just… you don’t panic when people fall apart. Most of us do. I do.” He shrugged like it was nothing “You don’t.”
You looked out toward the Maze, shaking your head “I panic,” you said quietly, your eyes trained on the grass beneath you “I just don’t let it show first.”
He studied your profile “Yeah, I know.”
The words settled between you until you glanced back at him “You did good, you know.”
“With what? My incredible emotional speech?” he rose his eyebrow while scoffing.
“With staying” it might’ve seemed small, but it mattered “and your… remarks” you smirked.
He shrugged again, still not considering his input important enough “He needed you more.”
“And you think I didn’t need you there?”
That caught him off guard, making him pause and just stare at you. You smiled a little at his reaction. “You make it easier.”
“Make what easier?”
You didn’t immediately respond, choosing to take a glance around you before speaking “This place.”
He looked at you like you’d just told him the sky was green “You’re ridiculous,” he muttered, but there was no bite to it. He was simply trying to hide how his heart skipped a beat at your words. How he just wanted to tell you you were the only thing keeping him sane enough to go out there and come back alive every. Single. Day.
You smiled back “You climbed a wall today because you were bored.”
“Allegedly.”
“And because you wanted to see if there was something more.” he didn’t argue at that.
“You staying tonight,” you added “it’s the same thing.”
He frowned slightly, clearly disagreeing “That doesn’t make sense.”
“It does to me.” you shrugged, not offering a better explanation.
He watched you for a long second, something warm spreading through him again, that same feeling from earlier when you’d wrapped your arms around Chuck. And in multiple other occasions before that. Except now it was directed at him.
“You also… make it easier” he said quietly “by making this place feel… less terrible.”
You bumped your shoulder into his again. “Someone has to.” he looked down at where your arms brushed but didn’t dare move away.
After a moment, he threw you a playful look “If I climb the ivy again tomorrow-”
You sighed dramatically, groaning “Minho.”
“I’m kidding.” he put his hands up in surrender.
“You better be. I’m not taking care of you if you fall and hit your head.” you huffed, dead serious.
He smirked, not believing you one bit “Please, you’d miss me too much.”
i feel like we don't talk enough about the reveal of teresa (and also aris's) betrayal at the end of the fever code. like wdym that WHOLE time, from the maze to the end, the two of them had their memories while everyone else didn't.
for those who don't know, the fever code takes place right up to the point where thomas joins the glade. when he realized that wicked was in fact not good, he had made a plan with teresa (and aris/rachel i believe) to convince the adults to let them into the glade with their memories, instead of without, in hopes of being able to efficiently help their friends escape wicked. but teresa betrayed the plan, telling the adults about it and sending thomas down without his memories.
like holyyyy i would full on crash out. this is by no means to hate on teresa, because like i've said in the past, i think that her pov is very valid and that everyone approaches this debate on whether wicked is good and bad very differently. but to betray your friend is crazy, like surelyyy there were better ways to go about it
The most tragic thing about the "Minho new Newt longer" thing is that actually. They all new eachother for a long ass time. Like yeah, Newt and Minho knew eachother like a year or two in like fever code before they met like Thomas, Teresa (DeeDee), and Chuck. BUT. They all were well acquainted friends who genuinely cared a lot about eachother. AND there bonds go deeper than they realise. And it always makes me sad everytime.
Also fever code Thomas and Newt were like so close. Which makes it evermore tragic is that they BOTH never know this shit ugh fuck me. I mean I think Newt gets a few memories back in crank palace, but idk a lot about that cause I haven't read it.
Damn. Now I have to ramble about my fever code and fever code/the maze runner opinions one of this days. Fever code fucked me up. MORE THAN DEATH CURE AND IT'S FUCKING LESS DEATH.
there's so much abt The Fever Code that absolutely killed me, but one moment that really stuck out to me was the very first page of chapter 17 (I'd give a page number but im reading it online so it probably wouldnt line up with paper copies) when Thomas, Teresa, Minho, and Alby are made to go into the crank hole
"“This is spooky,” Minho spoke quietly, though it seemed loud in the still darkness. “Alby, hold my hand.”
“Dude, chill” was Alby’s response."
it really drives home to me how little they are here. In this scene Thomas and Teresa are 9, almost 10, so I think that would make Minho 10 or 11 and Alby 11 or 12, tho I could be misremembering how their ages line up. At any rate, they're all just babies, no matter how much WICKED had already put them through.
it gets me every time bc Minho hasn't put on a tough guy exterior yet. It's dark, it’s scary, he wants comfort and he's gonna ask his friend for comfort. He's so little he either hasn't realized or doesn't care that doing so 'makes him looks weak'
Alby, on the other hand, already has put on a tough guy mask. Through his response, he's telling Minho "you're fine. You don't need comfort. Toughen up. Its not that scary" He's saying "I don't need a hand to hold and you don't need a hand to hold either."
Is he being cruel? No. At least, not on purpose. These kids have all been traumatized and abused. Alby, he's likely learned lessons that boil down to "never show any weakness. Ever." Minho, evidently, has not yet learned these lessons. I think Alby, in his own way, is trying to teach Minho "dude you need to toughen up. Things will get worse and I won't always be there to hold your hand and then where will you be?"
honestly I'm not sure what I'm talking about at all, but yeah those two paragraphs quite literally keep me up at night
on a less depressing note, baby Newt, Minho, and Alby are absolutely adorable especially that part where Minho and Alby are wrestling in the maintenance room and Newt's playing ref, and Alby pins Minho and Newt declares Alby the winner and Minho's a sore loser and swears at Alby a bunch and then says "good job" super insincerly and Alby's just laughing at him bc he won
Shoutout to the time Thomas decides he wants to help the Gladers escape the maze and he says " 'I'm coming for you Newt, ' Thomas whispered, so softly no one could possibly hear him. ' I'm coming for every last one of you'". Like bro, your gay ass ain't fooling anyone just admit you're in love
#cute animals
#lana del rey
#photography
