lol i wrote a thing i was gonna put in cam's tag but i do not feel good about it BUT I WANTED TO POST IT ANYWAY!!!! SO!!!!!
A little miniature monster-child, so she is proclaimed by her siblings, her school, her friends, and she considers that a very big compliment thank you very much. As a monster-child, she's got to stake her claims, claim her territory, and no one is her territory like her big brother Campbell.
Unlike Justin, he's quieter and easier to convince to give into mischief. Unlike William, he's old enough and strong enough to lift her up to the high cupboards. Little Lily, from before she can never remember it, has always been climbing Campbell like a koala, until she sits on his shoulders and overlooks her kingdom. He used to fight it, but eventually, he gave in and gave up and tried to help her get there.
"No!" Lily had yelled. "No, I wanna do it myself!"
So Campbell went limp, each and every time.
Lily doesn't climb Cam anymore.
She sits on his bed and moves her legs back and forth and back and forth, waiting and waiting. She used to want to go visit everywhere, go see Toronto. Now she doesn't. She hates Toronto. She doesn't want anyone from her family to go there anymore, ever again, because went there and everything got worse.
Everyone walks on eggshells. She didn't used to know that expression, but she's heard Justin say it and now it's become her whole world. She sits on the bed, and she looks at posters, empty shelves where trophies used to be. The whole room's so much bigger without them, but it's for the best, Mom said.
She's fallen back on the bed, staring at the ceiling, by the time she hears it.
Cam stands over her, his eyebrow quirked upward in confusion.
Lily sits up and pouts and crosses her arms and declares, "it's my bed now!" It sounds stupid and silly, but it's all she can think of to say right now. Not when Cam's already taken off his jacket and she can see his arms.
He sits next to her and ruffles her hair, rolling his eyes. "I can sit too, right?"
Of course he'd forgotten to ask permission before doing it. He waited expectantly; he's waiting, because usually she'd tackle him and roughhouse. It used to be her favorite hobby. She knows he's waiting. But she can't.
Ever since her favorite brother went to Toronto, things had changed. For months he was away, and now he's returned, and everything is different. So many days of the week, he's away, talking to a psychiatrist he'd told her. He used to only wear long sleeves around the house, but in the last week, he's stopped. It's too warm to do it anyway, so he lets her see the scars running across his skin.
Before, Cam being sad and her mom crying, everyone quiet and trembling, the calls and news, the gossip -- it kept her from climbing him or even asking. Now, he's starting to smile again, shaking and slow, but Lily sees what Toronto did to him now.
Lily's scared to climb him. She's scared he might break.
When she doesn't do anything except fix her messed up hair, Cam leans back a little, supporting himself with his arms. "You know, I talked to the doctor about you today."
Her favorite brother has started sharing things a lot more too lately.
Cam continues because Lily says nothing. "I told him about how you're a little monster princess and how we used to play together. I really liked that, you know?"
Silly Cam. He keeps trying to act all casual but Lily can tell his voice is weird and shaky.
"Lily... It's, okay. For you to do that."
Her big brother's stupid.
They haven't talked like this in a long time. They haven't really talked since he got back, not without him going quiet and starting to cry. Lily doesn't like seeing him cry.
But he's not crying now. She is.
Lily takes him by surprise in her tackle, knocking him onto his back with a rush of air. He should be able to handle that, he's a superstar after all. Her superstar.
"You can't go away again!" She yells at him. "You gotta promise to stay with me!"
His arms wrap around her. "Aw, Lils... I'm gonna be here for a long time. Promise."
