It’s easy to get along with the officers on this ship if you know their behavior patterns. They’re all pretty predictable, so it really helps to pay attention. For example, if you know they’re angry or stressed out, you can stay far, far away.
Take Captain Phasma: When she’s upset, she likes to be alone and hit things. If she spends the day in the gym with a punching bag instead of with her troops, make sure to stay on her good side.
When Ren is pissed, he tends to throw a tantrum. The average length of a lightsaber blade is about 91cm. Maybe stay at least that far away from him at any given moment, just to be safe.
General Hux? He likes to internalize. He won’t always yell, but he’ll definitely stay up all night and surf the internet to take his mind off the stress. You can tell, because he’ll spend the next day chugging coffee and quoting Internet memes.
Once, I was under the break room sink unclogging the garbage disposal (again), and he was having his coffee and petting Millicent, who was lying on the table. Out of the blue, he pats her tummy and says “Bode.” I was so caught off guard that I wanged my helmet on the sink and dropped my wrench.
It almost got him killed today. Ren was losing his mind because we lost six(!) new TIE fighters in a skirmish with the Resistance, and Hux just said, “That’s so sad. Computer, play Despacito.”
At least he had the class not to whisper, “Harder, Daddy.” when the Supreme Leader gave him a warning Force-choke afterward.
