I love the Fireblight fight in the middle of the volcano. But I had no idea you could make fireproof potions so getting to the goron city cost me a lot of apples.
I know you didn’t ask for it but- BOTW MONSTERS: RANKED BY HOW HOT THEY ARE,,,,
i do fuck all in the days lemme tell ya
ill admit i havent done EVERY enemy but like. i do enjoy making these posts so who knows, i might actually rank everything sooner or later 🤷♀️
,,,,, and if u want a specific ranking of botw/aoc stuff lmk 👀
ahh the ol reliable. the classic bokoblin. he is just a little lad! unfortunately they’re genuinely kind of ugly??? and the idk the singular horn in the middle aint a good look. i see cute comics abt these guys being domestic and thats adorable but also giving them so much leeway bc they’re really Not that cute. not sure what the loincloth is hiding and im not sure i wanna know anyway. 3/10 really kind of. not good.
slightly bigger loincloth only means slightly bigger things to hide :( i rlly hate these guys noses and whatever the fuck toenails they have why do they have toenails?????? s’bad. the thing is tho they have the proportions of a potentially attractive gerudo which is probably what takes the edge off the general vibes of... u know... being an abomination. its also only JUST occured to me as im writing that these guys r just evolved bokoblins so. glow up i guess. 6/10 what that tongue do
ok bypassing whatever the fuck rule 34 has done to these guys, i actually dig them. i find the huge fat ones way cuter than the lil bug eyed ones. in their case theres rlly no, like... hotness about them. its just cute. i think they’re cute. any monster that is cute and also doubles up as a bed gets my vote 7/10 get urself a fella as flexible as these guys
u know what, im gonna say it, these guys r actually kinda hot. proportions arent super bad, the face aint bad and generally they have good vibes. aside from, u know, when they’re tryna shank u. id say one of the most bearable monsters to have to look at. 8/10 im not a scalie
??????????? idk what to say. u could tie these little shits to like swingball poles and beat them with rackets thatd b good. aside from that these guys have like no redeeming qualities. they’re a pain in the ass and not in a good way. 3/10 cute but like. is it worth it?
i mean,,,,,,,, someones probably into it. i dont like these guys for a lot of reason and surprisingly the thing that gets me is the fucking hair why does it have that hair its like he-man just went straight over the top with an electric razor its not a good look!!! stop trying to make it work! it wont! and again with the loincloth??? im not into it. the only thing i like abt these guys is the lil waistcoats. they have some amount of decency (but the implications it makes are Not Good). uh. 2/10. barely.
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,,,,,9/10. but if you see a lynel up close like that chances are you died about half a minute ago
again. ??? i dont rlly like. i mean. im digging the top heavy proportions? its got the same body type as kass so like. 4/10. bit plain around the features but what can u do. i dont understand how but the igneo taluses are like. sexier
UGHGHHH I FUCKING HATE THESE THINGS okay okay okay like these motherfuckers lure u in by being quite cute and dancin around and then u get a look at their faces and its like fucking JESUS and its even WORSE when you see under their cloak and they have no necks????? and like????? they do that gay little fucking dance that pisses me off???? they’re wearing hoods that give the ILLUSION that they have necks and im im fumin ok i HATE it i hate it i have been betrayed and i will NEVER FORGET ABOUT IT UGHGHGHG I HATE THESE CUNTS -10000000000000000000000000000000000/10 die
hhhhh i just dont like em. theyre too annoying to be cute now. and whats gonna happen if i squeeze one? is like. water gonna come out? r they just gonna deflate? 4/10 tentacles are not hyrules forte it seems ://
trust kohga to send the twinks out on the front line. seriously. they’re not bad tho? kinda small and underwhelming :((( tho i give extra points for the good crazy laugh we love a good manic cackle 6/10 they dont really count as monsters but ah well where else am i gonna put em
now THATS what im talkin about babeyyyyy we love the muscles,,,,, the posture,,, the stride,,, we love it when u fuck up stealth and a torrential downpour of these motherfuckers come down to beat ur ass,,,,, 9/10 its raining men 😎
u know. u dont rlly like. get a good view of these guys when ur balls deep in a battle with them, but the more i get like closer looks at them the more i go ???? like idk. everything about them looks backwards and wrong. but as far as backwards and wrong goes its not a bad look and the boss theme is a banger so 4/10 maybe dont jump on my ass every time i step one foot onto the desert :/
i just. i dont dig it. idk why. aside from the fact they’re a monumental pain in my ass, and now everytime i hear a beep even slightly resembling a guardian i shit my pants, but. idk??? as far as robots go its not like. terrible. they’re like the milfs of robots. the milves, if u will. a rilf. except i wouldnt. so its more like riwlf. but even that leaves too much up to interpretation so im just gonna call em a cunt and go. 4/10 leg game strong
here we are,,, the big boys,,,, waterblight isnt too bad i will admit, but the spear hand is both annoying and mildly inconvenient. its got a rlly big chest but rlly thin arms?? also not sure how i feel abt the strap on beard but oh well its not like ganons got taste. 5/10 kind of average for a blight i think
a hefty motherfucker. a chunk of a lad. big large. the fact this is like one of the easiest blights makes it more forgiveable to me but like whatever its got going on with the 80s hair needs 2 be sorted out. i like its moves but it doesnt hang upside down like waterblight :((( 5/10 calm down kate bush
ok who doesnt like gun arms. and a gun back. this things like fuckin megatron. the whole face plate thing doesnt look bad either. honestly its kind of a look? but its dickheadery in aoc makes me wanna set shit on fire so :// 6/10 hot but will not leave u alone 😔
ok this one is by FAR the sexiest of all the blights. i just cant explain it. i like guys with bad posture. i had an easy time beating it but apparently its given other people a lot of grief and that makes it 10x more sexy to me lmaooo. also it can clone itself which is like. thats a win. 8/10 ganon spilt all the sexy juice into this one
ok i didnt realise how many arms this motherfucker has and the whole hairline behind the ears thing is not a great look. especially w the beard. in fact the longer i look at it the less sexy it becomes tbh. 3/10 they tried to make arachnophobia sexy and it didnt work
10/10 i will be taking questions in my inbox but i wont be taking constructive criticism and you cant make me
albeit imperceptible to the eye, — as a noticeable distance separated them — within twin-pools of onyx therein lied a glimpse of enchantment ( little stars, shining bright ) once a gaze has been attached onto an unknown feminine figure— her redhead was a soft rufescent, and in the sunlight it was the most rich of rouge, a favourite hue for those in need of a brilliant && très warm light within their clouded day. he found himself drawn towards her, his equipoise shifting on its will. truly, there was a bizarre ( sudden, to be fair ) desire to befire himself— playing with fire && she appeared like a blazing one.
now, standing close to whence she was, an inclination of a brow proceeded, inducing locks of silk obsidian to move to && fro, subsequently the corners of lips curled upwards : a simper charming of appearance was bestowed unto the woman, reveling a line of white enemals.
“ — your lips look quite lonely, should i introduce mine to yours? ”
“You smell very nice, Karin.” Li comments, leaning in a little too closely. “What is the scent you are wearing? It almost smells like orange peel. Am I correct?”
It was odd behavior for sure; One that could result in a nice sucker-punch to the face or a complaint to someone who would sucker-punch him for being weird. But it wasn’t Li’s intention. No, his mind was instead toying with all the uses of good-smelling things could do for the body and mind: Aromatherapy partnered with his physical therapy sessions to give patients the ultimate sense of relaxation and control! Brilliant, Karin had sparked such a wonderful idea! He must—
And then he’s back in reality and realizing just how close he is standing to her. The grown man yelps before practically leaping several feet away, an expression of panic setting in on his face. Cue some deep bowing.
“Karin, I— I am so sorry. I did not mean to linger in your personal space and speak so strangely— Please forgive me! I had no ill-intentions. I was just thinking about the benefits of aromatherapy, and was reminded of such benefits due to your personal scent!”
fireblight asked: “fetch me something gay.” for ino hehehe
“ something gay ? ” she repeats , voice soft like silk before she looks around the flower shop at what’s blooming. lone eye lands on violet , and she remembers some of sappho’s works where violets were mentioned. she sends a soft smile towards karin before nodding. “ please give me a few moments. ”
twisting, she goes around, plucking some of her best flowers up and out of a container, three violets, pink rose, a few crocus’s and honey clovers for decoration, before moving towards the counter. laying out pink, red, orange papers, she’s careful as she wraps them before tying them with some rainbow coloured ribbon.
presenting the small bouquet to karin, “ is this alright with you , karin-san? ”
