If looks could kill, heh. Currently sketching. I was mostly absent online for the past week because I was supposed to have a colonoscopy 2 days ago. It involved a week long change in diet, two days of fasting (during which I was doing a "bowel cleanse" to completely empty the digestive system. It was fucking awful) and swallowing 4 liters of laxative one day, 2 liters the next morning. Horrible. I've done this before and it always sucks (or blows, more accurately). Got to the hospital, had all my meds and allergies listed. I'm allergic to the most common anesthesia (Fentanyl/brevital/versed combo) so I was told a month ago, last week, and that day I'd be able to have propofal instead. Otherwise I have convulsions (acute dystonia) on waking that could last months at worst. Anyway, I was in a bed, hooked up to machines and an IV in my hand when the Dr came and said the anesthesiologist was, "stuck" and couldn't make it. My options were no sedation AT ALL (painful and anxiety inducing) or go home and do it another time. Lose/lose. I guess this is the only propofal specialist in Alberta but who tf knows. So after ALL THAT, the whole entire week of preparation/bowel cleanse/fear of seizures I'm just let go like it's no big deal. "Oops, sorry!" The 6 liter bowel cleansing solution costs roughly $80 that I almost never have, not to mention having to pay for food that for health reasons my husband can't eat (we live below the poverty line) I'm just unceremoniously let go by the hospital because some asshole got "stuck" (I got no further explanation). So fuck it all. I'm getting colonoscopies B4 the age most do only because my sister died at 37 of stage 4 colon cancer found during her first colonoscopy ever at age 34. So I'm at high risk. Anyway, that was my week. 😖 So I'm sketching now, it's been a while and I need to process the rage somehow. 🤷♀️ #art #sketch #fuckinghell #firstsketch #smallsketch #furious #stillmad #rage #pencil #graphiteonpaper #ink #ballpointpen #fuckcancer #fuckacertainsomeone #colonoscopy #coloncancer #highrisk #drawing #arttherapy #anger #fury #darkart #sketchbook #mixedmedia #iflookscouldkill #outsiderart #dammit #illbefine https://www.instagram.com/p/CctaBZmvYdQ/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=