Us when we search up 'is mike wheeler gay' in five days and it says 'yes Mike Wheeler was confirmed to be part of the lgbtq community in season 5 volume 1'
Sabo was told, by his parents, from a young age he was born different. Born without something. Born without the ability to feel guilt or shame. Born without the ability to just be happy. To be grateful. To just be normal.
Sabo could never just be happy. To be grateful his parents spent so much on him. Invested so much in him. Brought him the nicest clothes which he always ruined all the times he tried to run away. All the times he got into fights.
Sabo never felt guilty about ruining his parents life by his existence. Even though his mom often cried as she locked him in his room. Wondering out loud where she went wrong. Why her son was so angry and disrespectful and just shameless? Sabo didn’t feel the least bit sad when his parents took down all the photos of him. Covered up the family portraits with him in it.
Sabo never felt guilt or shame. None of the normal feelings he was apparently supposed to feel. Never felt sadness about being excluded from games with other kids when he was dragged to school his parents spent a fortune on. Sabo never felt sad when his parents stopped sending the servants out to look for him when he’d run away at night. When they just one day stopped looking out the window at night waiting to see him trudge up the steps. One day they just stopped seeing him as their son and just as a mistake that needs to be hidden.
Sabo has enough social awareness, from hours of staring at people out of his window, to understand he should feel sad. Should feel sad when the other kids exclude him. Should feel some guilt about seeing his own mom cry about having a son like him. There should be some grief inside him. Some part of him that wants to change, to want to be included, want to be wanted. He’s a person, he should crave some type of affirmation from others.
All Sabo can feel is anger. Anger when he’s forced into uncomfortable clothes that were ironed too much. Anger when his classmates annoy him with their loud voices and obnoxious laughter. All Sabo feels is anger. When he’s locked in his room for the hundredth time, he’s just angry and screaming and kicking and cursing. It’s not a sadness at being excluded it’s an anger from being locked up. From being prevented from escaping.
From being forced to hear his mom cry and cry about having a son like him. It’s not guilt or shame or sadness. It’s not any healthy or acceptable emotion. It’s just anger. It’s always anger.
And when the servants finally stop coming to look for him at night, it’s not sadness, it’s not loneliness he feels. It’s just more anger. Now the anger is directed at the world. Everything just makes him angry. The animals that he hunts. The people he steals from. Everything just makes him angry. Everything makes him want to fight and kick and scream. He falls asleep angry and wakes up angry. And maybe it’s understandable the anger now. He’s sleeping in the woods on literal dirt. Maybe now he has a right to be angry.
And Sabo loses tracks of the days of how long he’s been away from home. How long he’s just been falling asleep alone and angry. Just waking up angry and hungry and just hating everything. The days blurs into nights. Everything is just a blur of anger and violence. Of him just hunting animals more for a way to release his anger than to feed himself. Him stealing from people and getting more satisfaction when they put up a fight then when they just comply. And Sabo feels his whole life was, is and will always be just anger.
And then Sabo meets Ace. And Ace is like him. Ace is angry. Ace is mean and violent. Ace is the kind of kid his parents would hate, the kind of kid his former classmates would be scared of. Ace is angry and hateful too. And Sabo finally feels something other than anger. Sabo finally feels acceptance.
Because Ace is angry like him. Ace is good at hunting like him. Good at stealing like him. Ace goes to bed angry too and wakes up angry. Ace is angry at the world like he is. And Sabo feels finally something other than anger. Sabo feels a sense of kinship. A sense of belonging. Sabo feels acceptance.
And maybe it’s the new feeling that clouds his normally astute observations. Because it takes Sabo a couple weeks to realize him and Ace aren’t the same after all. Ace doesn’t repeatedly attack and strike animals when he’s hunting them. Ace goes for one clean strike to kill an animal. Ace doesn’t want the animal to suffer. Ace kills for food rather then to just have something to hurt. When Ace steals it’s mostly from drunks. And that’s because they’re usually too drunk to put up a fight, to drunk to remember faces. So there’s no need for Ace to beat them senseless or attempt to blind them. When Ace steals it is just for money and not for a reason to hurt someone.
Ace and him are different. Very different. Ace does not want to be angry. Does not want to hate the world. Ace actually seems to want to belong. Sabo can tell by the way Ace looks at families. By the way Ace looks at school kids playing. Ace is angry but doesn’t want to be. Ace is an outcast but wishes he wasn’t. Ace and him aren’t the same after all.
And it’s a new feeling that creeps up when Sabo comes to this realization. It’s awful and weird. He feels his chest tighten and his eyes start to water. His stomach feels like he’s gonna hurl. He can’t tell what this new feeling is. Maybe it’s what guilt is supposed to feel like. Maybe its what shame feels like. Whatever it is he hates it and hates Ace more for making him feel like this. Sabo for the first time feels bad about being so angry.
Sabo still goes hunting with Ace. Still steals with Ace. And slowly Sabo starts adopting more of Ace mannerisms. Sabo starts striking animals with the intent for an instant kill instead of what would draw the most blood. His choice of victims for stealing is more about who wouldn’t notice instead of who’d give him the most fight. Sabo stays up at night and listen to Ace talk. And when Ace cries about his dad it’s not annoyance or anger he feels. Sabo actually feels like crying too.
And Sabo hates this new emotions he’s feeling. He hates not being angry all the time. He misses it which he knows is a strange thing to admit. Sabo hates feeling sad when Ace is sad. Hates feeling guilty when he realizes the bear he killed was a mom with young cubs. Hates feeling guilty when the wallet he stole has a note about birthday presents and a picture of a young kid. Sabo blames Ace for these bad, new emotions he’s feeling. But yet Sabo still chooses to hang out with Ace.
And one day Ace shows up with the most annoying kid he’s ever met. Shows up with a kid who just cries constantly. A kid who can’t hunt anything, can’t steal from anyone. A kid who’s basically useless. Worse than useless, the kid just basically an anchor on a sinking ship. The kid has the most obnoxious laugh, it’s so much worse than his former classmates. The kid is annoying and stupid.
And Ace loudly complains about the kid. Tells him to get lost multiple times. And Sabo waits for Ace to make the kid go away. Because he knows Ace can. Ace can hurt the kid bad enough that he’d be too scared to follow him around like a lost puppy. So Sabo waits and holds his tongue. Waits for Ace to really hurt the kid. For Ace to get angry enough to make the kid leave. But Ace never gets that angry. Ace scowls and hits and loudly complains. Ace rolls his eyes and sighs whenever the kid opens his mouth. But Ace also, begrudgingly, grabs the kids when he’s about to fall into the river. Gives him part of his cooked fish, it’s the burnt part, to the kid when he’s cries about being hungry. Ace says he hates the kid. Ace literally stomps his feet when he hears the kid, whose name is Luffy, call him his brother.
Ace repeatedly yells that they’re not brothers but still jumped into the river when Luffy fell in. Still made Luffy a fire to keep him warm. Ace says he hates Luffy but still didn’t let him die. Which maybe is a low bar to have but Sabo would have definitely let him drown. And Ace didn’t. Which just widens the difference between Sabo and Ace.
And Sabo never voices his more extreme thoughts. How they can easily trick Luffy into jumping in the river if they tell him there’s treasure on the bottom. That if Luffy is really as annoying as Ace says then Ace shouldn’t have a problem with just watching him drown. Ace should feel relieved with the thought of Luffy finally leaving him alone. Because all the thoughts Sabo has, Ace apparently doesn’t have them. Or if he does, Ace is choosing to ignore them. Choosing to not act on them. Ace is not like Sabo. Ace does not like being mean or angry. Ace doesn’t want to see people,(even annoying, dumb ones) get hurt.
And Sabo again feels the weird feeling. Where he feels like he’s gonna throw up. Where his eyes are watery and his chest feels heavy. And he doesn’t know what to call this feeling exactly. If it’s more shame about being so angry, guilt from thinking how easy it would be to just watch Luffy drown. Maybe it’s just sadness to realize him and Ace are really very different.
Sabo stays silent and holds his tongue. Even though he doesn’t understand these new feelings, he’s aware enough to know that it shouldn’t be said out loud. That Ace will look at him differently if he realizes the extent of Sabo’s anger. The thought of Ace realizing how different they are just makes Sabo stomach feel empty.
Because Ace and him have plans. Have plans to leave the island and sail together. To form their own pirate crew. They’ve been hiding all the money they’ve stolen in a secret spot. And when they have enough they’ll set sail for the open sea. Just him and Ace. No Luffy to annoy them. No family or school kids for Ace to look at sadly and secretly wish to be a part of. Nothing that serves as a reminder for the growing differences between him and Ace. Ace and Sabo have plans. And they do not include a crybaby like Luffy.
Their plans change. It has to change. Because Luffy was noisy and found out about their secret stash. And since Luffy’s an idiot he was blabbing about the treasure in front of real pirates and got himself kidnapped. So Luffy somewhere telling his kidnappers where the treasure is. Most definitely crying and begging not to get hurt. Pirates are coming to steal their treasure. So Sabo and Ace plans are forced to change. The plan now is to take all the treasure they can hold and just run to the dock, steal any boat they can and set sail.
It wasn’t their original plan but it’s what they have to do now. Plans have changed because of Luffy. Because Luffy is obviously telling the kidnappers everything. Luffy, who cries when he gets a splinter, will never not reveal the location of the treasure if he’s being threatened with violence. Luffy a crybaby. Luffy is weak. Luffy isn’t strong like them.
So him and Ace are stuffing their bags with all the treasure they can get their hands on. Dragging the heavy bag, that’s too heavy to carry now, across the dirt floor of the forest towards the docks. And the plan now is to focus on finding a ship to steal. Something small that won’t be missed right away. Something small that can make a quick get away. That’s the plan.
Plans change. They change a lot. Because the plan is to get to the docks as fast as they can. Yet, Ace keeps looking back and pausing. Ace keeps looking worried every time he looks back. Ace starts to breathe more heavily and not because their bags weigh too much, but because Ace, unlike him, feels guilty when he does bad things. Ace feels guilty when he acts too mean. Ace still looked out for Luffy even when Luffy was being annoying. Ace keeps looking back and his lips are trembling. And his hands are shaking. Ace didn’t want Luffy to die which is why Ace jumped in the river when Luffy fell in. Ace did not want Luffy to die. And maybe that’s a low bar to have but it’s a bar.
Ace does not want Luffy to die. Ace feels guilty when he does bad things. Ace wants to belong and to feel a part of something. Ace cries about his dad at night and worries if he’s just evil. Ace let’s go of his bag, his treasure, and runs back to the forest. Away from the docks. Away from the open seas. Away from their plans. Ace runs away from doing a bad thing and runs towards Luffy. And maybe Sabo is not so different from Ace after all. Because Sabo let’s go of his bag and runs towards Luffy too.
I have NOT been Kazui posting like I promised I would 😭😭😭 It turns out I can’t just think of things to talk about without being prompted… I do have a lot to say about him I just can’t do it on the spot. But it’s fine I’ll just post my T3 Bingo Card later.
Actually to make up for it I’ll post the Cat English cover lyrics I improvised in the shower (and edited later)
———
Keep up your cover, lie until your better, follow the King of the Masquerade
How long has it been since I started to ignore my feelings?
It’s better to disappoint ‘em then to end up disappointed
All that I wanted was to touch
To love and caress
I just wanted to be touched
So what, so now that’s wrong?
Well then, fuck it
I was forgiven,
Wasn’t that your verdict?
Then maybe my one wish… no, listen, you follow it like this…
Just for someone who knew, and a love that’s so true, wouldn’t you have to lie too?
Our Love + Fate Up High makes bullshit, say bye-bye-bye
That disgusting playing house + Camouflage + You-Know-What
My Affection is – Love, it’s an alluring, two-way bluff
Now keep it simple, victim and criminal
Which am I?
Keep up your cover, lie until your better, follow the King of the Masquerade
Hoo, I’m drunk
Hey, what if I said I like-liked you, what would you do?
It was something I had to prove
To clear up suspicion
It was a greedy, risky move
So many things I want, but could never say
Grab a drink and laugh it off, the actor’s way
See, the rhythm of this heart, doesn’t beat to good and bad, it’s art… is that
The brain ascertains all the futility, but the heart still continues to dream
I can’t stop this, and believe me I tried
But this feeling, it’s reeling, forever unsatisfied
I can’t stop this, can’t believe that I tried
Cause this feeling, it’s screaming, it must be gratified
Can’t you all give me a break?
Our Love + Fate Up High makes bullshit, say bye-bye-bye…
My ideal is to be caressed by you, perfectly myself
All I want is to be loved just like a cat
Live by a whim, no lies, no tricks, no act, without commitment
Keep up your cover, lie until your better, follow the King of the Masquerade
Do you have anything planned for after Hunted?? I’ve loved the story and the consistency you’ve given us! I’m getting anxious as we near the end as I’ve loved having a steady story to follow regularly
Hi, Anon!
I do, thank you so much for asking! Actually, lots and lots - which is kind of a problem, given the limited time I have to write.
Once Hunted is completed, I want to get both The James Potter Affair and Five Days finished. Both of these are fully planned and I have a lot already written, so shouldn't be too much of a stretch. Buuut - they are both Jily, so might not be of too much interest.
Back in Hinny-land, I have two projects percolating, which are:
Still Standing - a no-Voldemort, canon divergent, Quidditch-centric fic. It's from James's POV as an experienced player who becomes rookie Ginny's team mate, and feature a strong Hinny element
As-yet untitled Boyband!Harry/Footballer!Ginny Muggle AU, which is a concept I adore, but where I'm struggling to flesh out the plot
It's interesting that you mention having a story to follow regularly - I've actually really enjoyed posting in this way, and the immediacy of the responses, and it's changed the way I feel about WIPs, to the extent that I don't think I'll post either of the above two fics until they're finished.
However, that doesn't mean I don't want to post in the meantime, because the other thing I want to do is get back into Hinny microfics, which I have been sorely neglecting!
So, to summarise this very long and rambling message:
Question: Has morallyinept changed their handle? I go to their page and there is nothing now. I hope they are not gone because they had some incredible stories for Joel Miller ( Five Days ) and Marcus Acacius ( TILL DEATH ) that I loved. If you are still out there, please tag me!
