- keeps a collection of the wanted posters from pirates he captured
- keeps the newspaper clippings mentioning him capturing pirates ( he went through old newspapers to find info on him when he heard he was on Luffy’s crew)
- is impressed by some of the pirates he caught when he was a “pirate hunter”
- thinks he’s respectful( only conversation he had with him zoro was too scared too say anything but nod )
- Sabo & luffy hate it
- Garp still greets Luffy and Sabo with “fist of love” while zoro gets a respectful pat on the shoulder ( the “pat” still almost breaks his back but zoro suffers through it)
- I love the trope where they’re soulmates/reincarnated gods NiKa/Asura
- so they were like destined to be together
- I think a good story idea would be if it’s the opposite of soul mates
-like they were just meant to be enemies
- Asura was meant to kill Nika
-Nika the god of life, he got too strong, nothing was dying, which obviously is gonna end up being bad
-Asura had to bring death to earth, he had to vanquish Nika to do it
-It’s just a propechy now that Asura will always “betray/kill” Nika
- it’s written in old books, old tales, in poneglyphs
- the RA (revolutionary army) finds out about it
- Sabo and Dragon are of course concerned
- Dragon tries to tell Luffy to not trust Zoro, does not go over good
- Sabo doesn’t bother, he knows his brother wouldn’t listen anyways, but is still very concerned
- when Luffy goes into gear 5 afterwards he gets more wiped out afterwards where he gets very intense vision of “Asura” ( zoro) betraying him in past lives
- after a battle Luffy gets really weak, it’s getting worse each time he tries to use gear five, this time he’s not waking up
- zoro gets a vision too, “nika” has too die since it’s just destiny/foretold
- zoro never believed in prophecy/reincarnation, that Luffy really NiKa
- Luffy is just Luffy to him
- zoro vision is really intense and he sees Luffy dying because “nika” has to die
- zoro uses his sword to cut the “god” part out of Luffy,
- “Nika” does die/is gone, Luffy safe though
- rest of crew is shocked, they didn’t even realize that was an option
- too zoro it just makes sense, he didn’t fall in love with “nika” he fell in love with luffy, he just cared about luffy being safe,
Sanji just stares at past Zoro. Or younger Zoro might be a better term. Vice-captain Zoro? This Zoro apparently still holds that title high. The way he keeps yelling about it to Franky.
“-and I am pulling rank because you need to tell me right fucking now where he is...”
Whatever title to give this Zoro, who’s currently throwing a temper tantrum complete with foot stomping and fists slamming, Sanji is still pondering over. And this past (younger, earlier, still loyal?) Zoro is starting to cry. Keeps shaking his head as Franky talks to him. Tells him the most sanitized version of events. Crafts a story where Zoro wasn’t the sole cause of the whole world going to shit. Franky lies through his teeth and says this was no one's fault.
“He- he just got really sick and then he was gone.” Franky says without looking at anyone.
“It was no one's-it wasn’t anyone's fault. You were- you were no longer with us when he passed.” More lies. More lies Franky is telling. Telling to a crying Zoro. A Zoro who apparently still loved his Captain. A Zoro who can’t handle hearing his Captain is gone. But of course, any Zoro is apparently still an asshole. Still a petty childish asshole. Because this Zoro shoves his plate to the floor. All while looking right at Sanji. Staring at Sanji, waiting for him to take the bait. This Zoro is still a brute who can only process things through violence. Pointless violence. Pointless, stupid violence. And Zoro, who is still waiting for Sanji’s reaction, opens his mouth and speaks.
And Sanji doesn’t even fully process what Zoro says. Isn't even fully sure what he says. Sanji is suddenly back to their last interaction. When it was just him and Zoro on the island. When Sanji told Zoro how terrible Luffy was doing. How indifferent Zoro acted. How unbothered he seemed by the news. When Sanji was breaking down in front of him. How Sanji told Zoro what Luffy was going to do. How Sanji thought at the time he was telling a lie. Sanji keeps hearing Zoro response in his head. Getting louder and louder, occupying his thoughts. Sanji can barely register what the Zoro in front of him is saying now.
“You should have done more.” Was that it? Maybe it was just “your foods on the floor.” Whatever this Zoro just said, Sanji is more upset by the hoarseness in his voice. The redness in his eyes. Because there is no version of Zoro, past present or future, that has the right to act sad now. All Sanji can think of is how his last interaction with Zoro he broke one of his own personal vows. And now he’s about to break another one.
Zoro is so shocked when Sanji throws his own plate of food against the wall; he almost misses the words coming out of Sanji's mouth. The truth coming out. The ugly truth about how Luffy really died. How Usopp died. How the rest of the crew died. Zoro wishes he did miss the part he played in everything. Zoro is still staring at the wall as Sanji grabbing him and shaking him. Cussing him out. Asking question after question to a bewildered Zoro.
“Why the fuck are you even crying now? Huh, where was that when he died? Where the fuck was all that care when he was starving and refusing to eat? When everyone kept begging you to come back. Where the fuck was it? Where the fuck were you? Why did you even leave? Why? Why did you leave him? Why, why, why the fuck do you get to be here and not him?”
Zoro is still staring at the wall. Staring at the food slowly sliding down. Avoiding Sanji gaze, avoiding the accusations. Zoro can feel Sanji’s nails digging into his shoulder. Feel his shirt starting to tear. Zoro can vaguely register Franky try to get between them.
“He was fucking dying and you didn’t care. He fucking killed himself and you didn’t give a shit. You left. You left, you fucking left. Why? Why, why, why? Why the fuck did you leave? Why the fuck did you stop caring? Why- why, why?”
Sanji is still crying and screaming as Franky drags him out of the kitchen. Trying to desperately grab at Zoro. To make this Zoro, any Zoro, give him the answer to the questions that still haunt him. Still keep him up at night. Soon, Sanji and Franky are out of the kitchen. Leaving Zoro alone. Still standing in the same spot, still staring at the wall.
Franky has gotten used to calming down Sanji. Gotten used to dealing with his fits. His outbursts. Knows what amount of “medicine” to give him that will make him sleep fully through for a couple of hours. Knows to put him on his side when he sleeps. To leave a water jug near his bed. Franky knows how to deal with Sanji.
Franky has to deal with Zoro now too. A younger Zoro. A confused, lost, younger, time-traveling Zoro. This Zoro is from the past but still young. Somehow having time-traveled to the future. This Zoro was, or is, still the ever-loyal crewmate. Still loyal to Luffy. Still holding his title of vice-captain sacred. Seemingly in utter disbelief of what the future him would come to do. So shocked, he didn’t even try to fight Sanji off.
Franky, after dealing with Sanji, goes to look for Zoro. Part of him was still expecting Zoro to be still standing frozen in the same spot in the kitchen. Franky checks the main rooms they've been occupying, finding Zoro in none of them. Then Franky decides to go to the one room he hasn’t been in. The one room where there was an unspoken agreement between him and Sanji that the room was supposed to be left untouched. Zeff’s former room. Zeff’s room that has been left untouched since his passing. The room no one was supposed to go in. Of course, that’s the room Franky finds Zoro in.
The door is open. Zoro is sitting in the middle of the floor with old newspaper clippings spread out around him. An empty box left discarded to the side. In his hands, an old bounty poster. Franky comes closer to Zoro to get a better view of it. And Franky feels his breath go away for a moment. In Zoro’s hands is one of Luffy’s old bounty posters. The first one with the title Pirate King on it. Franky steals a glance at Zoro expression. Zoro has a small smile as he traces over the words Pirate King gently with his fingers. When did you stop loving him? Franky feels the question on the tip of his tongue.
“He was out for a couple weeks. After- when that bounty poster first came out he was still out-he was- at Laugh Tale- I really thought he wasn't going to pull through. He just wouldn’t wake up. And i thought- we were all thinking that-. And the whole time he was out, you kept talking to him as if he could hear you. And maybe he could.
And you never seem worried he wasn’t gonna wake up. You kept just acting like he was just taking an extra-long nap. And we were all- everyone was worried. Everyone else was afraid he wasn’t-.” Franky is pausing more as the memories are coming back.
“You were never- you never seemed to think-. You kept talking to him. You were by his side the whole time. The crew was a mess but you never left his side. Never- the crew was a mess but you kept us- you kept saying ‘this is the Pirate Kings crew, we don’t fall apart’ and-. ” Franky isn’t even sure why he’s sharing this story.
“You kept us together- you kept yourself together. You talked and talked to him the whole time. You changed his bandages because Chopper was too- Chopper couldn’t-. You did everything and i just don’t understand how you can-. How you go from that too-. Why- why you just left him-.”
“I would never leave him,” Zoro holds the paper closer to him.
“I would never leave,” Zoro says, looking still at Luffy’s face from the bounty poster.
“Usopp tried to talk to you, Sanji tried, we all- no one understood why. You just left. You just left him and didn’t even care to look back. You just acted annoyed when any of us tried to talk to you. To convince you to come back. You just- you just stopped caring.”
Zoro presses the bounty poster firmly against his chest. Silently shaking his head as Franky continues talking.
“And I- after everything- when it was just me and Sanji left-. I found you. After everything I found you. I was looking for Sanji. And i found you. And after everything I was still just happy to see you.
I still just wanted us to be a crew again. I wanted you to- I just wanted an explanation- a reason why. Why you left, why you stopped caring. And i kept asking and asking. I was coming up with my own reasons for- did you get tricked into leaving. Did someone threaten to hurt him if you didn’t leave. Was it some devil fruit power,or some curse, or just something. I just wanted some reason, some reason that would make it not be your- that wouldn’t just be that you didn’t love him.
And i kept asking and asking. And it always came back to the same reason. You just stopped- you just wanted to leave. You wanted to leave him so you did.”
It's been such a long time since Sabo felt this type of anger. This all-consuming rage. A part of Sabo just wants to just surrender to it. Sabo wants nothing more than to kick and scream. To turn into a wild animal with no thought. To just attack without mercy. To go back to not caring about anyone else. Not have to worry about others. To not be consumed with guilt and shame. To go back to before. To how he was before Luffy, before Ace. Before he became someone's brother.
And Sabo looks over at Luffy, who’s still avoiding his gaze, huddled up in the corner of the bed. Knees bent to his chest, face buried in his arms, as if trying to make himself smaller. As if trying to disappear. Sabo sits on the bed next to Luffy. And Sabo wants to shake Luffy. To scream at him for attempting to do something so selfish, so stupid. Sabo settles for taking one of Luffy's hands, which he had to forcefully take, and hold it between his own. Running his fingers over the palm. Staring at the lines as if it'll give him the answer as to what to say? What to do? How to be the brother Luffy needs and fix this mess?
“Do you hate me that much?” It’s a selfish question to ask. Sabo is aware of that. His fingers press into Luffy’s palm.
“You’d rather be dead than be my brother?” And Sabo presses his fingers deeper. From the question or the pressure on his palm, Luffy flinches and tries to pull away. To shrink more into himself. Sabo doesn’t let him.
“You don’t want to be my brother anymore?” Sabo asks expecting no response.
Luffy mumbles something under his breath at the last question. Sabo notices his shoulders shaking more. Still refusing to look at him. Luffy keeps trying to pull away from him.
“Would you be happier if I just fucking killed myself?” The tears Sabo been holding back start coming out at the last question. Voice horse, Sabo for what must be the hundredth time today wishes Ace was here instead of him. None of this would have happened with Ace alive. Ace would have never allowed it to happen. Never left Luffy in danger, in false hands that weren’t worthy to protect him.
Luffy visibly flinches at the last question. His mutterings coming out more clear. Sabo can hear a faint no in the midst of his brothers whimpering.
“ I don’t hate you,” and Luffy’s voice comes out so weak. So whiny. It brings Sabo back to when they were all kids. When Luffy would always cry at the slightest inconvenience. Cry when he skinned a knee. Cry when he couldn’t catch a fish. When he’d just cry and cry, waiting for Ace to just fix everything. Always knowing Ace would tend to him. Luffy would grin and give a high pitched “thank you” as payment. Ace would roll his eyes and pretend to get annoyed. Sabo would always notice Ace smiling to himself afterwards. Luffy was always a handful and needed such tending too. And Sabo wants to be the good brother that Ace was. Be caring and attentive. To say the right thing that’ll get Luffy to stop crying. Get Luffy to smile and just be his usual Luffy self. Sabo wants to be like Ace so bad. But Sabo was always very different from Ace.
“Then why would you fucking do that?” Sabo can’t keep the anger out of his voice. Can’t keep the anger out of his hands as he grabs Luffy by the shoulder and shakes him.
Why - why would you try to leave me, leave me all alone? Why?” Sabo asks. And Luffy is still not looking at him. Still trying to avoid his glare. Which just angers Sabo even more. Makes him act even less lik Ace.
“Look at me! Fucking, look at me!” Sabo grabs Luffy’s chin, forcing him to finally face him. And Luffy tries to squirm away. Tries to push him away. It takes all his self-control to not just slap Luffy.
“Why- why would you think I wouldn’t- why would you think i wouldn’t care. That I wouldn’t be-that I would just-.” And Sabo is crying as much as Luffy is now. Sabo is struggling to get the words out. To get all his anger out. All his fears out. All his love out. He loves his brother. He’s pissed at Luffy. He’s angry at Luffy. Part of him is really angry at Luffy for trying to do something so stupid. For trying to just leave. Leave everything behind. Leave him behind. But he still loves Luffy. He loves his brother. His baby, brother. His idiot, baby brother who always acted recklessly and needed saving. Sabo thinks back to all the times as kids that Luffy needed help and Ace was always there for him. Ace always kept him safe. Kept him from drowning. Ace did everything a good brother should do. And Sabo tried to be a good brother too. For Ace and for Luffy, Sabo tried his best to be a good brother. And Sabo almost lost Luffy. Sabo almost stopped being a big brother because Luffy was stupid and selfish. Because Luffy tried to –.
Sabo crying as he pulls Luffy into a hug. Ignoring how Luffy still trying to push him away. How Luffy still just quietly telling him to go away. Sabo holds him tighter as more tears come. Cradles Luffy’s head close to his chest, as if trying to stop any more bad thoughts from entering.
“I love being your brother,” Sabo whispers.
“I don’t ever not wanna be your brother. I don’t want to go back to when I wasn’t your brother.” Sabo remembers how he felt before his memories returned. Before he remembered he was a big brother. How anger just always consumed him. How empty and hollow everything felt.
“I love being your brother.” Sabo whispers again. This time Luffy stops fighting the hug. Stops crying for him to go away. Luffy finally hugs him back and mumbles something against his chest. Sabo can’t tell if its “I’m sorry” or “don’t leave me.” No matter what was said, Sabo response would be the same.
“I’m your brother, I love you. You’re gonna be ok. You’re my brother. “
🫣I think that I’m the only one who ships them but I think Koala x Nami would be a wonderful couple.
They both have a similar past, both have a very strong sense of justice, both very strong. Nami always has to deal with Luffy antics and I feel same goes for Koala with Sabo. She probably has just as many stories of having to reign in Sabo. Or clean up his messes.
I do get that Nami normally shipped with Vivi. And I like that ship too.
-idea I had about Usopp finding out a lot of juicy gossip. Unfortunately he has no one to tell/no one believes him.
Fic Idea
zoro and Luffy are dating. Zoro is intersex. Finds out when law is treating him after a battle. Zoro feels ashamed/guilty/worries luffys reaction. He keeps it a secret at first but tells Luffy after feeling guilty. Zoro struggles telling Luffy and Luffy ends up misunderstanding what zoro was trying to tell him. Luffy thinks zoro was trying to break up with him and going to date law instead. Luffy leaves upset and zoro thinks his reaction is about being told zoro intersex. Zoro feels depressed that Luffy took it bad. Luffy pretends to be fine but doesn’t hang out with zoro and acts differently.. Zoro feels miserable but tries to hide it. While sailing they meet up with laws ship and decide to dock on an island. Most of the crew besides Usopp and zoro go explore the island. Law stays on the ship too. Most of law crew is on the polar tang. But some are just strolling the Sunny to see the ship. Usopp stayed on the ship to talk to zoro. Sensing he’s been upset about something. Zoro tries to deny it. A big commotion happens on the ship. Zoro and Usopp see a big fight between Luffy and Bepo with law being between them. Also Shachi and penguin there too trying to hold Bepo back.
Story (rough draft)
And Usopp seen Luffy get angry before. Seen him get pissed. Hell, Usopp seen him wipe out whole fleets. The thing is, usually the “I’m gonna fuck kill someone” rage is directed towards enemies. Towards marines trying to kill them. Towards pirates trying to kill them. It’s never directed at the crew. It’s never directed at someone Luffy calls a friend. And even though Usopp was against the alliance from the start, thought it was the dumbest idea Luffy ever had, which is saying something because Luffy has had very dumb ideas, Usopp accepted it.
Because once Luffy sets his mind on something there’s no use trying to change it. Once Luffy considers a person a friend, that person is connected to Luffy for life. Luffy would go to battle for any of his crew. For Law, even though he wasn’t an official crew member, Luffy still treated him as family. Still tried to include him in pranks, despite Law frequent protests. Still made sure Law ate with them at meals. Still even allowed Law’s crew aboard the Sunny as well.
So Usopp is in bewilderment of what Law could have done to get Luffy so pissed. To have Luffy be screaming and flailing his limbs trying to escape Zoro hold. Matter of fact, what could piss Bepo off so much to make him act such as angry. Such as crazed. Usopp didn’t even have much interaction with Bepo. All he knows is that Bepo was a bear who apologized a lot and always looked down at the floor. And always tries to make himself look smaller than he is.
But Bepo is acting such as crazed at Luffy at the moment. Snarling and trying to push past Law to get at Luffy. And Law is, trying, to push Bepo back. All the while looking back at Luffy likes he’s gonna murder him. Usopp isn’t even sure if the three of them realize they have an audience now. Shachi and Penguin are trying in vain to pull Bepo back, Usopp didn’t even notice them at first, all while trying to talk to Bepo. Trying to placate him.
“Bepo, calm down! It’s not true. Straw-hat obviously lying!”
“Fuck, your Captain’s the fucking liar!”
Luffy yells back still trying to attack. Zoro arm tighten around Luffy’s waist, trying desperately to hold his Captain back. Luffy starts scratching at the hands around his waist. Wanting to make whatever holding him back let go. Grabbing at the hands around him in a frenzy, something crosses Luffy face as he realizes Zoro the one who’s holding him back.
“You’re Captain’s the fucking liar.”
And this time the accusation comes out more in a cry than a yell. More broken than angry. Luffy stops trying to get out of Zoro grasp.
“You’re Captain the fucking liar and a fucking shit asshole and a -,” and Luffy next insult is drowned out by Bepo’s snarling. While Luffy rage seemed to have lessen, Bepo’s was still at full volume. Law still holding him back, both hands on the side of Bepo’s face trying to push him back.
“Captain’s not a liar. Captain would never lie to me.” Bepo keeps trying to push said Captain out of the way to get at his intended target, Luffy.
And everything is chaotic. Usopp never seen Luffy get this way when the crew was not in danger. Never seen Luffy get so worked up and hysterical unless a crew member was heavily injured. Luffy still shrieking and Bepo still snarling. Law, Shachi and Penguin all talking over each other to get Bepo to calm down. Usopp half expects Luffy to not even hear him when his question comes out.
“Luffy, what did Law even do?” Usopp asks In disbelief as he gets in front of Luffy. Hoping Luffy will try to calm down if a crew member is between him and his target. And Usopp doesn’t know what answer to expect. What answer will make everything make sense. Make all the chaos suddenly understandable. Usopp mind is blank with confusion, unable to come up with a reason. Even if Usopp was able to think of reasons, there is no way he’d be able to come up with the answer Luffy gives.
“This fucking back-stabbing asshole,” Luffy speaks each word with more anger, seemingly getting himself more worked up, “is cheating on Zoro.” Luffy cries at saying Zoro. Shoulders shaking as he points a finger towards Law.
And Zoro seems just as shocked by the statement because his hold on Luffy momentarily loosens. Luffy, instead of taking the chance to strike, holds onto Zoro arms. As if wanting to pressure back around him.
“He doesn’t appreciate Zoro, he doesn’t deserve Zoro, and Zoro should still be fucking me and not him.” Luffy full on sobbing at this moment. Unaware that his explanation only caused more confusion. And Usopp looks over Luffy to stare at Zoro equally confused face.
And normally when Usopp hears any drama, especially relationship drama, he’s all about it. He takes mental notes to share with Nami later. He tries to get as much information as he can. He asks as many questions as he can get away with without being considered too nosy. And Usopp just heard a lot of drama. The type that he’d be up all night telling Nami about. So he should be asking questions, should be taking mental notes, should be doing a lot of things. But, Usopp brain has stopped working. Apparently, so overwhelmed with what he just heard, it’s gone completely broken. He feels smoke coming out of his ears.
“Wai-what?” is all Usopp can muster out.
“He’s cheating on Zoro with that stupid bear,” Luffy shouts louder, as if volume was the reason for any confusion.
“Don’t call Bepo stupid, you idiot!” Law yells scowling at Luffy, momentarily taking his eyes off Bepo.
“Captain not a cheater! Captain would never do that!” Bepo muffled cries are still loud for all to hear. Volume was not the reason for the confusion at all.
“He’s a cheater and an asshole, and a -“ and Luffy lets out curses that Usopp is sure Kidd and Killer would blush at. Let’s out expletives so graphic that he feels the urge to cover his ears. Zoro seems to have the same urge because he fully releases his grip on Luffy waist. This time Luffy the one who’s holding Zoro arms. Seemingly wanting back the pressure around him.
“He was kissing Bepo, I saw them. He was kissing Bepo even though he’s with Zoro. And Zoro the best and great at kissing and fucking. And Zoro deserves better. And I never cheated on Zoro. And I always made Zoro cum each time and Zoro deserved it because Zoro amazing.” Luffy back to sobbing all while looking at Law.
And Usopp just learned a lot but is still confused. Even more confused now. Because Luffy’s declaration only created more questions needing to be answered. Like when were Luffy and Zoro hooking up? When was the break up? When did Zoro and Law start hooking up? What has Law been doing with his bear? Usopp has a whole list of questions needing answers now. The most important question being where was all this hooking up taking place? Because wherever it was Usopp needs to thoroughly clean or burn that area now.
And Usopp staring at Luffy as if he’ll finally say something that won’t cause confusion. Won’t create a million questions needing to be answered.
“I made Zoro cum a lot more times than you have,” Luffy shouts at Law. And Usopp can’t tell who looks more embarrassed at that statement, Zoro or Law.
“I never did anything like that with your swordsman, idiot,” Law grunts out not even looking back at Luffy. Eyes still focused on Bepo, trying to placate him.
“You never even cared if he cummed!,”
Luffy shrieked out as if Law just admitted to murdering small puppies.Whatever insults Luffy was about to unleash on Law next will forever be a mystery. Zoro firmly covers Luffy’s mouth with his hand. Probably finally having enough of the details of his sex life being screamed out loud.
“Idiot, me and him have never fucked. We’re not together. We’ve never been together.” Zoro says each sentence sternly.
“You guys aren’t together,” Luffy asks sniffling. And now Luffy has a confused look on his face. Luffy joins every one else in not understanding what the fucks going on.
“No! Idiot, why would I even wanna be with him. You and me were- we were,” Zoro hesitates. Having trouble to finish his sentence, Zoro struggles to say the last part.
“I liked when we were together.” Zoro looks at the floor as he finishes his sentence.
“But you broke up with me,”Luffy says continuing to sniffle. Still having tears in his eyes.
“When the- fucking why would you-when did I even- I -,” Zoro incoherent babbling is cut off by a still whimpering Luffy.
“So you guys aren’t fucking,” Luffy asks tearfully with a hint of hope.
“I’m not screwing your damn swordsman, idiot,” Law answers back angrily. Still holding back Bepo.
“What the hell made you even think that,” Law in a disgusted tone, as if the mere thought made him want to jump in the ocean.
And Usopp is growing incredibly more and more confused. The more talking that goes on the more questions he has. The more images that he’d never wish on his worst enemy pop into his mind. Usopp is equal parts disturbed and curious as to what both Captains have been doing in their free time. Usopp wants to scrub his mind clean of everything he’s just been forced to watch. He wants a detailed play-by-play of events to share with Nami later. Usopp is confused.
“What the fuck is going on?” And Usopp is talking more to the universe then to the characters of the fucked up stage drama he’s just watched. The secret romance, the cheating or not cheating, the very detailed name callings all feel straight out of a trashy romance book that Nami reads. And that Usopp also reads in secret.
“What the fuck is going on?” Usopp asks again.
And all eyes turn to him. As if everyone realized his presence at the same time. Realized a person who wasn’t involved in any of the secret romance’s onboard either ship suddenly got a front row seat to it. And even though everyone was just screaming and yelling in disagreement seconds ago, they all seem to reach the same thought.
“Usopp butt out!” A range of voices scream at him. From Bepo’s high pitched whine to Luffy’s hoarse voice. All faces turn to Usopp. Each looking offended as if Usopp was the one who committed a social faux pas. Usopp momentarily deafened by all the yells directed at him, misses the gruff “shambles” muttered under Law’s breath. Next thing Usopp knows he’s being dropped into the ocean, far away enough from the ship that he can no longer hear any more disturbing and titillating confessions.
“What the fuck is going on?” Usopp shouts again this time to a school of fish startled by his sudden drop in. The fish look back equally confused as him.
And Usopp doesn’t know what he expects to find as he makes the journey to swim back towards the ship. His mind racing with different scenarios. Wondering what more mayhem and chaos he’ll find. Also worrying about Nami reaction to his, now ruined, hair. Nami the one that helps him do his hair. And the money she charges has made Usopp permanently in debt for life.
And as Usopp finally reaches the ship, after what feels like forever swimming, and uses what little strength in his arms left to climb aboard the Sunny, Usopp is waiting to hear shouting. Hear more threats and crying. Usopp hears none of that though. Hesitantly peaking over, the sight he sees leaves him in utter bafflement.
Any damage to the ship has been fixed or hidden away. Zoro resting against one of Nami’s orange trees. Law resting on the side of the deck that Usopp peaking over of. The rest are playing a game of cards in the middle of the deck. Or attempting to at least.
“No, Mugiwara, you’re not supposed to show us your cards yet?” Bepo voice comes out gently like a mother trying to explain something to a child. A stark difference to earlier when he looked like he was about to murder Luffy.
And Usopp is in stunned silence of the scene. Still clinging to the ladder, not making any attempts to climb over to get fully back on the ship.
“Do you need help getting over?” Law asks with a yawn. As if the previous events never happened. As if it wasn’t revealed Law and Bepo are apparently a couple. As if the accusations of infidelity and broken romances weren’t just shouted out for all to hear.
“What the fuck is going on,” Usopp mutters out no longer expecting an answer.
“Bepo and the others are playing poker. They’ve been trying to teach your Captain but he doesn’t seem to be picking it up,”. Law explains with a shrug.
Usopp too stunned once again to speak, doesn’t even protest when Law flicks his wrist. Now Usopp is standing fully on deck, dripping water and fully lost in confusion.
“What the fuck is going on,” the phrase is once again uttered to no one desperate for an answer.
“Usopp, I’m trying to concentrate, shush,” Luffy voice comes out seemingly stressed by the game.
“So this is the toilet,” Luffy says shoving his cards in front of Bepos face.
“It’s called a flush and no it’s not, and stop showing people your cards. It’s not even your turn yet.” Penguin sighs exasperated, pulling Luffy’s hands away from Bepo’s face.
“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE,” Usopp shouts thinking he must have ended up on a completely different ship somehow.
“Usopp, I’m trying to nap,” Zoro shouts in his direction not even opening his eyes.
“Go take a shower or something you’re dripping water everywhere too,” Zoro finishes off dismissing him. As if Usopp was the one who ruined a peaceful day.
“Yeah, Usopp go shower or nap or something,” Luffy waves him off.
“So this is a bust,” Luffy says turning excitedly to show his hand to Penguin. Penguin sighs pressing his fingers to his temple.
Usopp doesn’t wait to hear Penguin’s exasperated response. Walking wordlessly to the bathroom he wonders if he somehow did board an entirely different ship. If everyone was playing an elaborate joke on him. If he suddenly developed I-imagined-I’m-A-Side-Character-In-A-Trashy-Romance-itis.
“Usopp, I’ll always help with your hair. You don’t need to make up lies about how it got wet.” Nami says tiredly. When she came back on the ship after a day of shopping she was tired. Wanting to do nothing but rest she was stopped by a distraught looking Usopp, who’s hair was a mess. Nami first was a little, ok a lot, annoyed. Thinking how just last week she was up all night helping him with his detailed and exhaustive hair routine. The fact Usopp decided on a whim to go for a swim with no protection and ruin all her work was annoying.
But maybe she looked too upset because the lie Usopp came up with to avoid blame was so far-fetched. Which made Nami momentarily feel guilty. Was she so scary that Usopp felt the need to lie to avoid her wrath. The guilt quickly turned to anger. Who was Usopp to make her feel guilty. Anger than turned to just annoyance. Because Usopp was still sticking with the lie.
“I’m not lying,” Usopp says sounding on the verge of a breakdown.
“I swear they were all about to murder each other. Bepo was trying to kill Luffy and -,”
“Bepo apologized to the table when he bumped into it at dinner,” Nami says tiredly. Not believing Usopp for a second.
“That bear, that same bear was about to attack Luffy, that’s the lie you wanna go with?” Nami says resisting the urge to hit Usopp on the head with the brush she was currently holding.
“I swear he was. Law had to get between them. Zoro had to hold Luffy back and- and Shachi and Penguin was there too and-.”
“Usopp, you know Bepo would probably be really hurt by your lies.” Nami says.
“Nami, I swear on my life I’m not lying.” Usopp feels his mind about to explode if he can’t share with another person what he was a witness too today.
“Luffy was screaming at Law about him kissing Bepo and-,”
“Luffy made out with the bear,”
“No, no Law was the one kissing Bepo and Luffy saw and got pissed off and,”
“Why would Luffy even care at all who Law was kissing,” Nami feels the urge to just leave Usopp to his mess of a hair and go to bed. No part of his story was believable. Least of all Luffy getting mad. While Luffy had many, many, faults, he was an easy-going Captain. Only getting legitimately mad when friends or loved we’re in danger. He’d never threaten violence unless a crew member safety was in danger. The fact in Usopp story, Luffy got so bothered by a kiss that didn’t even involve him was preposterous.
“Because he thought Law was cheating on Zoro,” Usopp barely stops himself from screaming that part out loud.
“He thought Law was cheating and got mad at him for that and for not caring about Zoro and then he was screaming about-,” Usopp stops himself, face turning red. Even after everything he told Nami, after repeating most of the sordid details he was witness too, all the talk about Zoro and Luffy sex life was too embarrassing to say. Luffy never showed any interest in dating, Usopp was sure he never even kissed anyone before. To hear Luffy scream about all the times him and Zoro had sex, and explicitly about Zoro enjoyment of it, mortified Usopp. He felt like he’d never be able to look at his Captain the same way again.
Nami paused her brushing at Usopp silence. Turning to look at him. After awhile she put the brush done and gave a deep sigh. Usopp was sure she was going to continue yelling at him for “lying” or just storm off. What she did next surprised him so much, Usopp wondered once again if he somehow just boarded a different ship.
Nami pulls Usopp into a deep hug. It was actually very comforting after all the mental trauma he went through that day. Nami strokes his hair gently, like a mother comforting a sick child.
“Usopp,” Nami tone is sweet and caring as she still hugs him. “You’re a very dear friend. I honestly feel you and me have a special bond I hope you know that.” Nami pulls away to face him. Hands gently caressing his cheek. Usopp feel all his frustrations melt away. He felt so safe in Nami presence. Maybe she finally believes me. Usopp thinks for a hopeful moment.
“If you’re gay, I’m completely ok with that and accepting too.” Nami smiles looking at him, still with a soft expression. What little hope Usopp had of being believed are shot dead.
“If you’ve been having dreams about Law or Luffy that’s fine ok. There’s nothing wrong with you. You don’t need to lie about it.” Nami says as she squeezes his hands.
Usopp feels he must have died during the last battle. He’s in Hell. His punishment, not being believed when he’s actually telling the truth. Nami continues on crushing his soul.
“You’re my friend I’m always gonna love you.” She says pulling him into another hug.
“And because we’re friends I’ll only charge you half of my usual rate for fixing your hair. And no interest either.” Nami adds sweetly as she places a platonic kiss on his cheek.
Usopp wonders if he just jumps into the ocean now how long he’d have to swim for till he comes across a different ship that he can board.
Sanji was expecting some more bad things to happen when he boards back on the Sunny. He expects a cold look from Robin because Chopper still sniffling. He expects a disappointed look from Nami when he returns without Zoro. The thought of that hurts more than his hand right now. He’s expecting his kitchen, his once place of peace, to still be a mess. Sanji was expecting a lot of things, all of them bad.
What he was not expecting was Luffy to be sitting in the kitchen picking at the food in front of him while Usopp, sitting across from him, animatedly recalls a tale of defeating a giant single-handedly. The image is so bizarre, so unusual, that Sanji stops in the doorway and just stares. He can’t make sense of the scene in front of him. Everything seems out of place. For two weeks he’s been begging Luffy to eat. Even offering to spoon feed him. Technically he threatened to shove food down his throat if he didn’t eat willingly, the memory just makes Sanji feel even more ashamed.
Sanji had been begging and pleading and cooking non stop trying to get Luffy to eat. And the second he’s gone Luffy apparently decides he has an appetite again. And it’s beyond selfish to be hurt by that thought. It’s beyond petty and self centered that instead of just being happy Luffy finally eating, finally out of bed, Sanji just feeling sorry for himself. But that’s what Sanji is apparently, a petty, self-centered person. Because instead of just focusing on the fact that Luffy actually eating, and no longer starving himself, all Sanji can focus on is the fact Luffy eating a meal that he didn’t make. A meal Usopp made. A very burnt meal that Usopp made. And that Luffy got out of bed for Usopp and not him. Luffy got out of bed when Sanji wasn’t even on the ship. That Sanji been trying his best for two weeks, Sanji was cooking non stop for two weeks, Sanji went on his knees and begged and pleaded to Luffy to eat. And all Sanji got in return was just Luffy ignoring him when he wasn’t telling him to just go away. All Sanji got was a bruised hand after he hit Zoro for saying -.
The memory of the conversation makes him feel more annoyed. Which makes him hate himself even more. Luffy eating he should be happy. Luffy out of bed and at least interacting with someone. Sanji should be happy and celebrating. All Sanji can think of is why wasn’t he worth getting out of bed for. And Sanji just lost in his petty thoughts, still standing in the doorway, he doesn’t even notice Chopper coming up behind him.
“Oh, Luffy you’re eating!” And Chopper pushing him aside and running up to Luffy. Hugging him and crying how he’s so happy he’s feeling better. Chopper not offended Luffy got better without him. Chopper not annoyed Luffy listened to Usopp and not him. Chopper just happy for his friend. Chopper too busy crying and hugging Luffy, he doesn’t even notice Luffy not hugging him back. Luffy is leaning away from the hug.
“You were sick for a while there I was getting worried. But I knew you’d get better. You always get better.” Chopper still crying as he attempts to hug Luffy tighter. Seemingly unaware, or choosing to ignore, Luffy’s attempt to get out of said hug. Sanji can’t see Luffy facial expression from the doorway but can see Usopp face clearly. And judging by the look on Usopp face, Luffy doesn’t seem happy about Chopper prolonged hug.
“Chopper, come on Luffy kinda needs his hands to eat,” Usopp tries to keep his voice light-hearted. Chopper, head still buried in Luffy’s chest, continues to prattle on about how better Luffy is looking. Which was without a doubt the biggest lie Chopper ever told. Luffy looks awful. Luffy, still not hugging Chopper back, attempts to get up. Chopper just goes along with him. Either unaware Luffy was trying to get away from him or just refusing to accept it.
“You can sleep in my room if you’re done eating. And after you’re done napping I can check on you properly.” Chopper continues to talk animatedly. Ignoring how Luffy not answering back, ignoring how Luffy is looking at him. Sanji is unnerved by the look on Luffy’s face. An empty look. A hollow look. Sanji avoids Luffy gaze, as Chopper leads him out the kitchen door. Still talking Luffy’s ear off. The whole scene is unnerving. It makes Sanji internally shudder. What should be a happy moment just makes Sanji feel more anxious. Luffy was out of his room and ate, well somewhat ate, a meal. Luffy had some interaction with his crew. But Luffy still looked terrible. Luffy still wasn’t Luffy. Luffy whole presence felt unnatural.
Sanji knew it was foolish but hoped that when Luffy finally did leave his room and start eating that would mean he’d be his old self again. That everything would go back to normal. That Luffy would be hugging and laughing with his crew again. That the right meal could fix everything and get rid of all the tension on the ship. But Luffy ate and nothing changed. Luffy still looked empty. Nothing was normal. Sanji still felt tense and anxious. Chopper was still in complete denial. Nothing changed. Nothing was getting better.
“He ate more than half so that’s good,” Usopp forced cheer brings Sanji out of his thoughts. Usopp starts clearing the table. Sanji finally looks at his the kitchen good. No longer the mess he left it in. The broke dishes were swept away. The ingredients and utensils he had left out were put away. Usopp must have cleaned up after him. The thought just makes Sanji want to smile and cry at the same time.
“Probably really missed your cooking when he was eating mine,” and Usopp says it with a laugh as he continues to clean. All the while Sanji still stands by the doorway. Sanji feels like his head going to explode. Everything seems to be hitting him at once. The conversation with Zoro is replaying over and over in his mind. The look on Luffy face keeps popping up in his mind. Everything feels off. Everything feels just somehow worse.
“All the food you kept making must have brought back his appetite,” Usopp says in another attempt to start a conversation.
“He even was asking about you making something with mangos when Sabo comes and-“
“Sabo coming? Koala got a hold of him?” The question comes out hoarsely.
“Well no, no word yet on Sabo.” Usopp admits sheepishly.
“But- I mean- eventually we’ll get a hold of him -and he’d obviously come for Luffy so-,” Usopp voice trails off. Sanji keeps looking at him confused.
“Ok- I might have- I kind of told him his brother was already on his way and-“
“You lied to him,” and Sanji can’t keep the anger out of his voice.
“No, it’s not - like obviously Sabo gonna come-“ Usopp tries to explain himself but Sanji cuts him off.
“Why the hell would you lie to him,”
“ I- I - so he would eat.” Usopp stammers out. “He needed to eat and he ate. I - like this is a good thing.”
“What the fuck do you think will happen when Sabo doesn’t come,”
“He’s gonna come- he’d obviously come and “
“We can’t even get a hold of him! For fucks sake we don’t know where he is or -“
“Why are you getting upset? He ate. I got him to eat. You should be happy.”
“He’s expecting his brother to be here. You don’t think he’ll feel worse when his brother doesn’t show up?” Sanji can’t believe Usopp would lie about something like this.
“I- I got him to eat,” Usopp says again as if that’ll make Sanji less mad.
“He’s gonna be even worse off when his brother doesn’t show -“
“Obviously Sabo gonna come once he gets the message and,”
“What if he doesn’t get the message? What if no one can reach him? What are you gonna do if Luffy keeps asking for his brother now?” Sanji says each question with increasing anger.
“I - why are you yelling- he ate, you should be- we all should be happy and -,”
“He’s gonna be asking about his brother now and just feel like his brother abandoned him too once he doesn’t show up and -“ Sanji can’t even get the words out. He’s too upset to even talk. Luffy was already feeling hopeless. And Usopp basically dangled a false promise right in front of him.
“Why are you- you know you’re just upset because- you’re just being an asshole right now.” Usopp shouts the last part before leaving the kitchen in a huff trying to hide the tears in his eyes.
Sanji feels the guilt already coming. Usopp been trying, they’ve all been trying, to make Luffy feel better. And Sanji wants to believe Sabo would definitely come. Be the one that would be able to fix everything. Fix Luffy. Get him back to his old self. But what if Sabo doesn’t come? What if Luffy ends up worse from the false hope? What if Luffy keeps asking about his brother the next time Sanji comes to him with a plate of food? Sanji doesn’t think he has it in him to lie straight to Luffy’s face.
Sanji wants nothing more than to just go to bed. The conversation with Zoro just left him feeling miserable. The fight with Usopp just added on to his negative emotions. Noticing the time from the clock on the wall, Sanji feels his shoulders sag even more. Now was the time he usually started prepping food. Fuck it, maybe he’ll eat this meal. Sanji thinks as he tiredly starts getting out a cutting board.
Prepping takes longer than usual. The pain in his hand worsens seems to worsen with any movement. As Sanji tries to get lost in his cooking his thoughts keep going back to Sabo.
Nami been the one doing most of the calling and reaching out. Trying in vain to get word out to Sabo that his brother needs him. Sanji wonders what Sabo would think if he does come and sees his brother in his current condition. Sabo love for his brother is unquestionable. Sanji has no doubt about it. He wonders if Sabo would be able to handle seeing his brother in such a state though. If Sabo would get angry when he found out about Zoro’s betrayal. Honestly, Sanji all for it if Sabo decides to just go find Zoro and beat the shit out of him. He doubts it’ll make Luffy feel better. It’ll sure make Sanji feel better though. Their last conversation keeps replaying over in his mind despite his best efforts to focus on the meal he’s prepping.
“Oh, for fucks sake!” Sanji exclaims as he grabs at Zoro wrist, to prevent him from leaving.. The “convince him to come back” speech had turned into a “you’re a fucking asshole” speech. Which, of course, made Zoro just turn around to leave. The idiot never liked being reminded of his mistakes.
“Look, ok, I didn’t come here to yell at you,” Sanji lied.
“I came to talk-ok. As- we’re still a crew. You’re still first-mate. Ok, you left and that was shitty,” Sanji tries to keep the anger out of his voice. “ whatever you guys had a bad fight. It’s bound to happen. Whatever- it’s. Just come back now ok. Forget the fight, just forget it and come back.”
Sanji doesn’t know or care what the fight between Luffy and Zoro was. Doesn’t want to know how bad it had to be to about to get Zoro to leave. Luffy only told Chopper that Zoro left. Chopper didn’t know, or just didn’t want to share, the reason why he left. So none of them knew the details. No one could think of what could make Zoro of all people leave.
And Sanji tries to focus on the meal at hand. Focus on the rhythm of cutting. The slices of meat are uneven. His hand seems like it has a mind of its own. The pain is making it have repeated tremors. Making cutting the meat and vegetables hard. Making it so he can’t get lost in his cooking. Instead of focusing on cooking, Sanji keeps going back to the last conversation he had with Zoro.
“Fucking asshole just come back already!” Sanji is not doing good at keeping from yelling at Zoro. Sanji lost count on what attempt he’s on. Sanji starts off calm then just starts cussing causing Zoro to just turn to leave. Forcing Sanji to grab him or get in front of him to stop him from leaving. Sanji feels like he’s going crazy. Trying to convince Zoro of anything he didn’t want to do was always impossible. Luffy was the only one who could ever make him change his mind. Zoro is a stubborn, selfish, idiotic asshole. But he is, or was, loyal. He was loyal to Luffy. He loved Luffy. He was never supposed to just abandon Luffy. Sanji shouldn’t be convincing Zoro to come back because Zoro should have never left in the first place.
Prepping is taking way too long. Cutting and slicing up ingredients is becoming increasingly harder to do. Sanji feels pain radiating throughout his hand. It feels like bones are coming out through his skin. He muses he broke it after hitting Zoro in the fucking face. Still, Sanji dealt with broken bones before. None have hurt this bad. His hand keeps shaking causing him to stop every minute to try and breathe through the pain.
“Fuck, ok, look I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m done yelling. I’m done,” Sanji steps in front of Zoro for what seems like the hundredth time that day. For all he knows it might just be. Sanji can’t even tell how long he’s been on this dumb island trying to talk some sense into Zoro. The sky changed colors, going from a bright blue to a soft pink and purple hue. He briefly wonders if Chopper still waiting by the boat. Chopper, though insistent on coming, ended up not being able to join him as he went deeper into the island to look for Zoro. Sanji suspected something like this would happen. The whole boat ride Chopper kept getting more and more teary-eyed. By the time they reached the island, the look on Chopper face was one of pure regret. For Chopper to have to go and ask Zoro to come back, knowing there was a strong possibility of rejection, must have been the worst feeling for Chopper. So when Sanji suggested that Chopper should stay by the boat to guard it, he was met with no protest.
So Sanji went on alone. With the impossible task of keeping his cool while trying to convince Zoro to come back. He had repeatedly promised Chopper he would avoid yelling at Zoro. He wouldn’t insult Zoro. He wouldn’t kick Zoro in his stupid face. Sanji was going to just talk to Zoro and help him realize that he wants to come back.Back to the Sunny and the crew. Back to Luffy. So far the only part of the promise Sanji has been able to keep was that he managed not to kick Zoro face in.
“Please, I’m sorry, just listen.” Sanji once again in front of Zoro. Trying to prevent him from leaving the conversation.
“He needs you. Please, he needs you.” Sanji feels like he’s just been repeating himself endlessly. Trying to convince someone of something so true, so apparent.
“Please, just- he needs you.” What else was there to say? Zoro never needed convincing when it came to Luffy. Zoro was always ready to give up his life when it came to Luffy. Zoro had been willing to give up his pride and ambition when it came to Luffy. Zoro offered his head to Kuma in exchange for Luffy’s life. Zoro bowed down to Mihawk to get stronger just for Luffy. To be worthy of being called his first-mate. To help Luffy achieve his dream. How does a person go from that, absolute devotion, to just pure disregard.
Sanji feels a panic set in. Feels his heart race. He’s not sure if it’s Haki or just nerves but he feels something just suddenly shifted. Something changed that he can’t put his finger on.
“Please, just- fuck please I’m begging you,” and Sanji hates that he has to beg. Not out of pride or ego, but out of worry. Zoro should not need convincing to come back. Zoro should not be so cold and unbothered all the while Sanji been telling him how miserable Luffy was. Fuck, Zoro should be at least bothered that he’s basically having a breakdown in front of him. Even if they weren’t the closest, they were both on the same crew. Spent over ten years together. Achieved their dreams together. They were nakama. They were family. Zoro should have some look of concern instead of just a look of cold indifference.
“Please, he’s not eating. He’s not getting out of bed. He’s not - he’s not Luffy anymore.” Sanji feels the panic growing more. His heart pounding louder.
Everything seems more off, more wrong. Something bad is approaching. He feels it in his bones. Sanji can’t tell if it’s an animal or other pirate. Fuck it, the both of them can deal with it after Zoro agrees to come back.
“He’s just miserable. He’s just acting like his life is over. He’s just - he’s just not thinking clearly without you.” The panic growing more. Something bad is approaching. Something bad is headed their way.
“He’s not thinking clearly. He’s not in a good place right now. He’s acting like he just wants to-,” and Sanji mouth stops working for a bit. As if to stop him from finishing the sentence. His heart pounding. His hands are shaking. Something very bad is approaching.
“He’s gonna- I’m afraid he’s gonna try and-.” Sanji standing right in front of Zoro but still feels like Zoro so far away. Sanji feels a heavy loneliness shroud him. Making it hard to breathe. Hard to speak.
“He’s gonna-…” it’s not true. The words he’s about to say aren’t true. It’ll never be true. He’s just saying it to convince Zoro to come back. To give him the scare he needs. To shock him back to his sense. It’s not true. It’s not. Sanji doesn’t believe the words for a second. Not a second as they come out his mouth.
“He’s gonna kill himself. I’m really afraid he’s gonna try and kill himself if you don’t come back to him.”
The vegetables are a complete mess. The cuts are uneven. Some slices cut to thick while others too thin. Which will make sautéing them a nightmare. The cuts of meat are awful too. The fat still on most of them. The pieces are cut terribly. Sanji abhors wasting food but at this point he wants to trash everything and start over.
His hand is still killing him. The pain making his eyes water which makes cutting even more difficult. Cooking feels less and less like a joy and more like a miserable punishment.
Sanji waits for the protests. Waits for the yelling. Waits for Zoro to hit him for even speaking the words into existence. Sanji waits for Zoro to finally come to his senses and agree to come back. That the mere thought of what was just said would force Zoro to realize what a mistake he made. Sanji waits and waits but it never comes. All there is a silence stretched thin. A silence about to break and shatter. And the silence feels long, feels like it goes on and on. But then Zoro opens his mouth. Zoro speaks and breaks the silence. Zoro speaks and breaks any hope Sanji had of them getting to be a crew again.
Sanji is sitting down now. The pain having gotten too bad. His whole hand feels like it’s getting ripped apart from the inside. He cradles his hand to his chest. His face is streaked with tears. The pain is unbearable.
Sanji holding his very broken hand as he storms off. Only thinking of getting as far away as possible. Not caring in the least he just used his hand to hit someone. Something he thought he’d never do. The rage just over took him. Fucking, asshole, monster, worthless piece of shit. Sanji mind is filled with curses and expletives aimed at Zoro. Sanji about to actually commit murder if he doesn’t get away from him. He needs to put as much distance as possible between them.
“Worthless sack of shit,” Sanji uses his already broken hand to strike down a tree in his way. His personal rule of never using his hands for violence forgotten in his rage. Stomping towards the end of the island, Sanji is just desperate to get off the island and away from Zoro. His mind just filling with more and more gruesome images.
Too upset, he almost forgets Chopper had come with him. Chopper had fallen asleep on top of a large boulder by the coast. Startled awake by Sanji, Chopper only needs to look at him to realize the conversation did not go good. And honestly Sanji is glad his anger is so evident. Chopper knows not to ask him about what was said. Chopper doesn’t question at all as Sanji, who’s full on cursing, starts picking up rocks and throws it in the direction of where he just came from.
“Fucking, shit asshole.” Sanji screams at nothing.
“Don’t even ever think of coming back. You’re never gonna be allowed fucking back.” More rocks are thrown towards the forest which Sanji just came from. More curses are said. All the while, Chopper, who’s back in the small boat waiting to leave, wordlessly watches his breakdown.
And Sanji doesn’t know how long he throws the rocks for. Doesn’t know how long he screams for. All he knows he only stops screaming when his voice turns hoarse. He stops throwing rocks when there’s none left to throw. He stops looking towards the forest when the sky turns too dark. When the tears cloud his vision too much.
“How could you-how could you just stop caring?” It’s said quietly. It’s said into the night. Into nothingness. Sanji expects no answer in return. It’s a question that will never be answered. That could never be answered. Eleven years of love gone. Eleven years of devotion gone. Eleven years of sacrifice gone. Eleven years of being a family just gone. And it’s never coming back. Nothing ever going to be the same. They’ll never be the crew they once were. Zoro is never coming back.
- I lot of fics have Luffy be the “innocent” one in the relationship
- like he doesn’t know what sex is or the physical aspect of relationships
- and zoro the more experienced one
- I get the appeal and like the trope too, I’ve read fics like that too
- but I’ve been thinking lately it’ll be funnier if it’s the opposite
- zoro more of a loner before he met luffy, he was always moving from town to town, training or just hunting pirates
- he probably never had a romantic relationship before and probably wasn’t discussing it with other guys either
- if he was at a bar it’s probably more for drinking than to socialize
-Luffy grew up with and socialized alot with guys in an informal setting
- the bandits that raised him, shanks ( i know a lot of people Head-canon him as a dad type but he’s probably more like an uncle in the sense that he’ll tell jokes and stories that probably aren’t kid appropriate)
- Ace raised him too, while Ace is protective and caring but he probably also told him some jokes too
- when Luffy was going to bars for food he’d probably also try and strike up conversations and tell stories and laugh at other , mostly men , stories
- I feel like it makes sense for him to know a lot of inappropriate sex jokes and at least have a basic understanding of what sex is
- and maybe he just doesn’t repeat it because he never thought it was funny or interested in it before
- and so the rest of the crew sees him more as “innocent” when it comes to that regard
- and when the crew find out that Luffy and zoro are dating they’re happy but some of them are also protective/concerned
- they think Luffy too innocent to be in a sexual relationship, they’re not even sure he knows what sex is
- zoro they all think probably had alot of meaningless one night stands
- Usopp tries to fill the role of “protective big brother” and give Luffy “the talk”
- Usopp sucks at it, uses confusing metaphors, Luffy doesn’t even realize what he’s trying to say at first, when he realizes Usopp trying to give him “the talk” at first he’s offended that they think he’s that immature
- then he decides to just roll with it and troll them back
- pretends to not know what sex is, not know what masturbation is, not know what anything is
- Usopp believes him and thinks this poor baby too innocent for the sex talk
- Nami tries next and Luffy just continues with the trolling
- saying “zoro said we should try (kinky sex act) idk what that is but I was too embarrassed too admit it so I just said yes, do u know what it is” all innocent and wide eyed
- Nami thinking too this poor baby too innocent and bails on giving him the talk too, and then threatens zoro to stop pressuring luffy, all the while zoro the one who really has no clue about sex,
- zoro never got the talk, never really had that casual relationship with other men when they can just make those types of jokes, zoro the clueless one in the relationship
- sanji tries too and Luffy just amps up the trolling, keeps saying “what’s ( extreme kink/sex act) zoro said he wanted to try it?” or “zoro said it’d be fun to do (sex position) but idk what that is,”
- the crew thinking Luffy a poor innocent baby being corrupted all the while Luffy would be the one having to “teach” zoro about sex
It’s a rather large marine ship. The ship looks like one of the newer models. With extra cannons and large metal spikes on the sides. Usopp would normally be freaking out about something like this. But, Usopp is tired, he is so damn tired. There’s not enough energy in him to freak out. Too worry and think about all the damage and chaos coming their way.
Usopp should be worrying and freaking out while the other three do their usual pre-fight ritual. Zoro creepily smiling as he ties his bandana around his head. Sanji would be lighting a cigarette and running a hand through his hair. Looking annoyingly cool and unbothered while doing so. No evidence of worry on his face. Already knowing the fight going to end in their favor. Luffy would be at the center. Hat placed further down, concealing his eyes. His usually carefree expression replaced with a look of focus. And the three of them would look so in sync with one another. So cool and heroic. And Usopp pre-fight ritual, after freaking out, is to just stare at the three of them. Which is an embarrassing thing to admit. But, Usopp, used to psyching himself up by staring at the three of them. Looking at the hunger in Zoro eyes as he’s eager for the fight, look at Sanji “bored” expression because he already knows how the fights gonna end, he looks at Luffy face, at the clenching of his jaw. The way his muscles tighten up then loosen. Getting ready to give the fight his all.
Usopp has looked and studied the three of them an embarrassingly long amount of time. Stealing glances during fights. The three of them always make fighting look so cool, so heroic. Usopp always goes between envy and awe when studying them. Usopp can admit he’ll never be close to any of their league. He pushes himself to be at least worthy to be in the same crew as them though. And it helps his self esteem a bit that when there’s no battle too be fought those three are often just useless. Luffy always stealing food and getting caught in Sanji’s traps, Zoro falling asleep everywhere and Sanji- well Sanji still annoyingly cool and actually useful but the other two are idiots.
But now there’s a marine ship coming their way. Already attacking them, already on the offense. And the ship is massive, the cannons are doing extensive damage. Normally it wouldn’t matter, normally Luffy, Zoro and Sanji would already be on the alert. Already making the opposing ship regret ever attacking in the first place.
But nothing normal anymore. Everything fucked up, everything wrong. There’s no Zoro looking like a literal demon as he’s slashing the enemies. Since there’s no Zoro there’s no Luffy now either. Luffy has just been holed up in his room, refusing to eat, refusing to be happy, refusing to just be Luffy. So there’s no Luffy and no Zoro. So there’s only Sanji left in the “Monster Trio.”
Which honestly the stupid nickname given by the newspaper was always annoying. Just another reminder how the three are on a different level that Usopp will never reach. Even more annoying when the marines started using the nickname too. “Just focus on the Monster Trio, don’t even bother with the others.” Was a common thing shouted by many marine leaders to their subordinates. Which, though admittedly a smart battle move, was still fucking humiliating to have to hear. But now Usopp really misses hearing the stupid nickname. Misses Zoro always blocking an attack that was aimed at him without effort. Misses Luffy always pulling him away from danger. Misses the stupid bantering Zoro and Sanji did in the middle of fights. Usopp would be struggling to breathe, be sweating like crazy, feeling like he might die from overexertion. All the while Sanji and Zoro are arguing about something from the morning, dodging attacks effortlessly, striking enemies down without even looking. And Usopp used to hate it. Used to be so annoyed by it. But now he misses it. He wonders if Sanji misses it too.
If Sanji misses always arguing with someone, always fighting with someone. Misses always trying to one-up someone. Misses having someone to just talk shit too in the middle of a battle. He wonders if Sanji feels guilty for Zoro leaving. If he blames himself at night. If he stays up at night thinking if Luffy had the option he’d rather have Sanji leave him then Zoro. Usopp nights are filled with if’s.
The ship is coming closer, aiming more and more cannons their ways. And Usopp should probably stop standing and being lost in his own thoughts. Should try and come up with a plan. Come up with a way to fight, to have the crew maintain its prestige. The ships coming closer. And there’s no Monster Trio for Usopp to look at to help get himself psyched up. There’s only Sanji and he’s looking awful. Nami and Robin are whispering amongst themselves. Robin looks annoyed as she’s trying to deflect the cannons away from the ship with her devil fruit powers and Nami just looks hurt. And Usopp too tired to try and look for the others on the ships deck. All Usopp can focus on is the marine ship that’s coming closer and closer. And Usopp is tired. Usopp has no Monster Trio to look at for motivation. Usopp hasn’t slept good in what feels like forever. Usopp says something that he’d never ever think of saying if Zoro was within ear shot. “Let’s just go, forget trying to fight.”
And there’s no Zoro too yell at him for even thinking that. There’s no Zoro to give a speech about maintaining the dignity of the crew. There’s no Zoro so there’s no Luffy really either. There’s no Monster Trio. There’s just a bunch of crew members with a Captain that doesn’t even want to be a Captain anymore. So no one argues with him. No one argues for not backing down. Everyone, unfortunately, comes to the same conclusion as him. Why bother even trying to fight when leaving is easier?
And Sabo thinks about many things. He thinks about all his memories of when they were kids. How Luffy always cried when he got hurt and would run to him or Ace for comfort. He thinks what Ace’s reaction would have been. Would Ace have yelled too? Would Ace have freaked out too? Would Ace have thoughts of just murdering Zoro too? Making him suffer, burning him from the inside out. Wanting to watch as the life left his eyes.
Honestly, Sabo couldn’t have imagined any of Luffy crew betraying him. Completely abandoning him. But Zoro was the very last one Sabo would have though of. Zoro always seemed so protective of Luffy. So loyal. After him and Ace, Zoro was the person who would do the most to keep Luffy safe. Before meeting Luffy in Dressrosa, Robin would tell him lots of stories of the crew. Sabo picked up on the hints that Zoro and Luffy had a relationship different from the other crew members. Something romantic.
Sabo was bothered by it initially. Which was understandable. Luffy was his little brother. His baby brother who he still remembered as a crying seven year old. Sabo didn’t want to think of his brother dating, or even being old enough to date. Another reminder of all the years Sabo missed out on. Sabo really wasn’t looking forward to meeting Zoro at first. Already thinking him as undeserving and unworthy of his brothers heart. Then Sabo did meet him. Saw the way he looked at his brother. Saw the way his brother looked back at him. And Sabo remembers how his brother, his baby brother, eyes shone brighter when looking at him. How Luffy whole face lit up when looking at Zoro. And Sabo saw the same look on Zoro face. Saw the same love and devotion.
They’re really in love. Sabo remembers thinking. And it was a strange mix of emotions. Sabo had to accept Luffy wasn’t the same crying seven year old. Wasn’t the same little kid who always needed his older brothers around. Luffy was an adult. Luffy had formed his own family. Formed other bonds. Luffy was dating and in a relationship. And Zoro protected him just as fiercely as him and Ace had. Zoro had risked his life more times than Sabo has for Luffy. Zoro probably had more memories of Luffy than he had. And it hurt and felt weird to be an outsider to their relationship. To not be the person Luffy confided in the most.
When they were kids, Luffy always tagged along, wanting to be between him and Ace. Not wanting to miss out on any fun. And Sabo remembers being annoyed at first. Feeling like Luffy was butting in. Now the roles were reversed and Sabo feels on the outside. Like he was trying to worm his way into Luffy’s life.
Luffy was better than him though. Luffy never acted annoyed when he was around. Never rolled his eyes or acted bothered by him. He accepted him back right away. And it felt good knowing Luffy still wanted him as a big brother. Still had a spot for him in his heart.
Sabo remembers selfishly wanting to just tag along with Luffy. Insert himself in his new family. Be the center of his world again. And Luffy would have so easily let him. Luffy would have allowed him right in his crew. And Sabo wanted to just completely abandon Dragon and just play pirates with Luffy again. Like when they were kids, when it was just them against the world.
Sabo didn’t though. Luffy didn’t need him like he used too. Luffy was his own person. Not just an extension of him and Ace anymore. No longer a tag-a-long. Luffy had formed his own crew, formed his own relationships. Had his own life to live. He didn’t need Sabo trying to bring him back to the past. So Sabo stayed with Dragon. Held his tongue when it came to Luffy and Zoro relationship. Didn’t tell Luffy not to go looking for fights with emperors and marines. Even though Sabo just wanted too drag Luffy back too the forest where they grew up in, where the threats were all easily beatable, he didn’t.
Sabo stood back and let Luffy just live his life. Let him dream as big as he wanted and fight his own battles. Sabo still killed anyone who was a danger to Luffy when the opportunity presented itself. But Sabo did his best to not intrude too much on Luffy life. Sabo trusted Luffy’s new family, his crew, to keep him safe. To keep him protected. Sabo had trusted Zoro to always look out for his brother, always be there. To not leave him like he and Ace had.
Now, Sabo is regretting everything. Regretting trusting Zoro, trusting any of Luffy’s crew. They didn’t deserve him. Weren’t worthy of him. Sabo wasn’t deserving of him either. Sabo failed Luffy and failed Ace by extension. Failed the two people he loved the most. The two people, who unknowingly, taught him how to love and be a “good” person. Someone with a conscience, someone with a heart. Luffy did so much for Sabo without realizing it. Ace had guided him towards it, but Luffy was the one who took his hand and fully led him down a better path. Not one just of anger and violence. Luffy sparked something in him that made him want to be good.
Sabo just feels guilt and anger, feels an overwhelming sadness. Sabo just holds Luffy hand as he sleeps. Chopper had given him something to knock him out. “It’ll just help him fall asleep.” He remembers Chopper saying as he put a syringe in his brothers arm. The syringe left a small faint dot on his brothers arm. Sabo looks at his brothers arm. His whole body was covered in scars, reminders of past battles fought and won. His arm had its own faint set of scars. Some more prominent then others.
Sabo mindlessly runs his fingers over his brothers arm. Looking over it, not wanting too see the other parts of his brother. The face that looks too sunken and sad to belong too his once happy brother. The fresh bandages on his stomach covering the self inflicted knife would.
Chopper had left him alone, wanting to give him some privacy. By the tremble in his voice, Sabo suspected he probably wanted to go somewhere in private to cry. Chopper looked the most miserable on the crew after his brother. If Koala was here she’d hint to him to be nicer to Chopper. Thank him for looking after his brother. Offer him a hug, solidarity in the midst of this chaos. Koala often tried to point him to the more right option. But Koala not here. So Sabo let Chopper leave sniffling without so much as a glance back.
Sabo just continued to mindlessly run his fingers over his brother’s arm. Looking over the faint scars. Some he remembers the battles he got them from. The burn from his wrist was from his final fight with Akainu. Sabo remembers feeling such pride when he read the papers. That Akainu was finally killed. Luffy finally got his revenge for Marineford. Sabo feels a small smile form. Luffy had cried as he hugged Sabo, telling him he finally got to avenge Ace’s death. Sabo hugged him back just as tight. Never did he blame Luffy for Ace’s death but he knew Luffy needed this. Needed to be the one to kill Akainu, to heal, to stop the nightmares. Sabo was more happy knowing his brother got to ease his own guilt than the fact Akainu was finally killed.
Sabo looks over at other scars. There weren’t too many. Being rubber, most injuries leave behind no marks on his brother. Most are faint, barely a trace left. There’s a cluster of small deep ones above his elbow. It stands out more against the others. Seems more angry than the other ones. Sabo can tell it’s old. He runs his finger more over it. His mind wondering about what enemy gave his brother this scar.
He wonders if the scar still hurts. Luffy starts to mumble and move around in his sleep. Sabo can feel Luffy head turn to look at him. Can tell his brother slowly getting out of his drug induced sleep. Sabo avoids looking at his brothers face. Still too ashamed too look at him. Sabo one role was to protect Luffy and he utterly failed in that. Sabo continues to just lightly trace his fingers over the scars. Suddenly consumed by the urge to figure out its origins.
“It hurt.” And his brother says it in such a whimper, such a small voice, that he feels like he’s back in the forest again with a seven year old Luffy whining about scraping his knee.
“It hurt so bad.” And his brother reaches his other hand out. Trying too reach out for some form of comfort. Sabo wants to just pull him in for a hug. Just hold tight and never let go. Whisper in his ear how they’re going back to Foosha village and never leaving. That it’ll just be the two of them in the treehouse. That they can just live in the forest again catching fish and hunting animals for food. Never have to interact with the outside world again. It can just be the two of them.
“It really hurt.” And Luffy cries pulls Sabo out of his thoughts. Luffy getting more agitated, reaches over to Sabo again. This time placing his free hand over Sabo’s. Over the ones that were touching the deep scars by Luffy’s elbow. Touching it seems to trigger Luffy more. Making him cry more, as if the memory resurfaced more with the touch.
And Luffy crying about the past injury, the scar that’s nothing compared to the one on his stomach. Sabo can’t even decide what to feel or what to do. Luffy’s crying always made it hard to understand him. That and with the drugs still in his system, Luffy mumbling his words a lot making them all string along together. Sabo can make out some words, Luffy talking about how he got the scar. And the memory seems traumatic. Seems too put his brother in even more pain.
Sabo too tired too think of the right thing to do. The right way to help his brother. All Sabo can think is to squeeze his hand as Luffy keeps talking about his scar. Sabo can make out a few words. “Water” and “freezing” comes up a lot. Is it from a time he almost drowned? The thought passes Sabo mind. When he hears Zoro’s name it cements the thought even more. While he despises the name now, Sabo knows Zoro was the person who always rescued Luffy from drowning.
Saying his name seemed to agitate Luffy more. Still crying as he continues to talk about his scar. And the words are still hard to make out. Sabo must be mishearing them. The more words Luffy says the more Sabo feels like his ears have stopped working properly. That the drugs Luffy was given is messing with his speech. Sabo feels a heavy emptiness forming in his stomach.
Luffy keeps crying and trying to pull Sabo closer. As if seeking protection from the memory. Sabo wants to run. Wants to pull his hand away from Luffy grasp and just leave. It’s a horrible thought. He’s a selfish brother. Sabo doesn’t want to hear the words coming out of Luffy’s mouth. He can’t hear them. He shouldn’t be hearing them.
“I kept crying and crying. He wouldn’t stop though.” And Luffy is still talking and crying as he continues. Still trying to pull Sabo in. Luffy saying words that shouldn’t go together. Things that can’t be true. Things that never happened, Sabo would never have let it happen. Sabo would never have let it happen. It can’t be true. It can’t be true. Sabo too stunned too even notice when Chopper re-enters the room. When Chopper appears next to him, pushing him out of the way as he sticks another needle in his brother. Urging him to just go back to sleep. And Chopper speaking so softly to his brother. Cradling his face and stroking the hair out of his eyes. Pressing his forehead against his temple as he whispers something reassuring to his brother. Chopper waits till his brother fully sleeping before stepping away from him.
Sabo should thank him. Koala would urge him to be grateful. Luffy was having a breakdown and Chopper comforted him. Comforted him when Sabo couldn’t. Sabo couldn’t because he was just too numb too. Too shocked too after hearing what his brother was telling him.
“Did you know?” And Sabo voice is low, barely above a whisper. He feels his whole body shaking with rage. Chopper seems to sense it, the way he nervously backs up.
“Did you fucking know?” And the anger seeps in more. Chopper looks more ashamed as he’s backing up closer to the door.
“I- I don’t -I don’t know what you’re talking about,” and it’s an obvious lie. Chopper looking at the door as if hoping someone will come through. Someone else on the crew that will act as a shield for him.
“Did the whole crew fucking know?” And Sabo takes a step closer to him. Feels his fist heat up.
“They didn’t know,” Chopper says finally looking at him. That part being true.
“But you knew,” and smokes rising from his fist. Sabo can see the look of fear on Choppers face. Can hear his heart pounding. See how scared he looks. And that just angers Sabo more. Makes him hate Chopper more. Sabo thinks back to hating how the kids at school cried. Hating how his mom cried. Sabo thinks back to before Luffy and Ace, when he just knew nothing but anger. When he was angry at everyone and everything. When he attacked people without remorse. When he killed animals for the brutality of it.
Sabo thinks how easily it would be to go back to hating everything and everyone. How easy it would be to just kill Chopper and the rest of them. They deserve it. They failed him. Chopper looks terrified as if sensing his thoughts. Frozen in fear, too scared too move. Sabo really thinks he can just channel back his inner rage and just murder them all.
A loud explosion interrupts his thoughts. It’s loud enough to snap Chopper out of his fear and gives him the chance to run out the door. Before Sabo can run out after him another explosion, even louder than the last one, shakes the whole room. He hears Luffy whimper in his sleep. The sound makes him look over instantly towards Luffy. Still sleeping, the drug must have been stronger than the last dose, his brother looks so small. Less like King of the Pirates and more like the seven year old he still thinks of at times. Luffy looks small and fragile. All the anger and hatred he felt seems to vanish from his body. Instead he just feels grief, an overwhelming sense of grief. His brother, his baby brother, was hurt. Is hurt. His brother didn’t need more violence or anger. His brother needs comfort and protection.
Sabo can hear the sounds of raised voices and panic outside the room. Chopper probably crying to Sanji about how he was threatened and about to be burned. Sabo half expecting one of Luffy’s crew members too come in to try and kick him off the ship. Sabo thoughts are interrupted by another explosion.
Stealing one last glance at his brother, Sabo exits the room. Half expecting a kick to come flying at him any minute Sabo tries to find the source of the explosions. Looking towards the front of the ship he sees a pirate ship coming closer to them. Preparing to aim another cannon towards them. The chaos around him slowly makes sense. Sabo hears bits and pieces of frantic conversations. The crew not even bothering to fight. The plan is to flee and do it fast. In hindsight, fleeing makes sense. The crew down two of their strongest fighters. None of them have been sleeping good. None of them are at their best right now. None of them want any more pain today. Fleeing is the sensible option.
The crew, Luffy’s crew, have been running from fights. Running instead of fighting. Which is making them a target. Getting rival pirates talking. Getting them thinking the King of Pirates is past his glory days already. That he’s gotten to weak too fight back. Fleeing is the sensible option. Fleeing is not what Luffy would do. Luffy might be not himself at the moment, but the thought of his crew being made into a laughing stock brings back the anger in Sabo. This time the anger is out of protectiveness. A desire to protect what his brother worked hard for.
Sabo walks toward closer to the front of the ship, grabbing his staff from the floor along the way. He feels a hand pull him back, he can’t even tell if it’s Nami or Robin trying to usher him back. Telling him it’s better too just flea. Too not fight.
“Have you forgotten what ship you’re on?” Sabo spits out not even bothering too look back as he pulls free from the hand. “Have you forgotten who your Captain is?” Sabo eyes the oncoming ship. Calculates the distance in his mind. He can make the jump. He’s made longer one. He can take everyone on the opposing ship. Sabo not going to flee. Luffy would not flee. His brother would fight. His brother a fighter. His brother is strong and brave and never gives up. His brother is the King of Pirates. It’s time he reminds every one of that fact.
The newspaper is old. It was right after Laugh Tale. The picture of the crew takes up half the page. The headline underneath is in bold letters. The edges of the paper are frayed. The picture is faded in parts from being repeatedly folded over. There’s permanent creases making the headline hard to read.
And the picture is chaotic. It’s grainy and out of focus. It was taken from far away from a one of Morgan’s reporters. It’s the only picture of the crew leaving Laugh Tale. No other reporter, or ship, was ever able to get close enough to the island. The Sunny barely survived the tides around Laugh Tale. The whole island was chaos. From the currents to the animals to the weather.
The picture the crew sailing fast away from the island. The mast is broken and the sails were torn. The railings on the side are all but gone. Everything was happening so fast. The picture is grainy and out of focus. No picture would have ever been able to capture all the details of that moment.
Of Nami holding onto Robin for dear life. Nami whose pockets were stuffed with gold, wearing a crown with jewels as big as her fists. Robin, who was smiling from ear to ear, with a dozen arms out. One holding Nami closer, one making sure the crown stays on her head. Another holding Chopper, who was crying and covering his eyes, just as tightly as Nami. The rest carrying Nami bags of treasure.
Luffy stares at the picture, smiling to himself. It was the biggest story for months. The newspaper would print the picture out for weeks on the front page. Headlines screaming about the Strawhat’s success.
And Luffy can’t remember much from the fight or the escape. Can’t even remember the treasure. He had to be filled in on all the details later when he woke up. Luffy remembers Zoro hands though. Zoro holding him as they escaped the island. Zoro blocking ever attack aimed at him. Zoro holding him so tightly, never letting him fall. Zoro always protected him and loved him. Zoro was by his bedside the whole two weeks Luffy was in a coma. Even in his sleep, Luffy still felt Zoro stroking his face, holding his hand. Zoro would tell him about the whole world was calling him King of the Pirates.
Zoro really loved him. Zoro waited by his bedside the whole two weeks. Made sure the whole crew got away safely. Was was always looking out for him. Zoro really does love him.
His sleeves are forced up. And by his elbow are faint scars. Scars that are small and shaped weird and old. That hurt when looked at, worse then the one on his chest. Still have nightmares about. He doesn’t want to see the scars. Luffy tries to break free from Sabo grasp, tries to push him away. Sabo just holds his arm tighter while forcing Luffy head to turn into the direction of the scar.
“Look at it.” And Sabo voice sounds so cold. So mean. Sabo being so mean trying to make him remember how he got the scars. And Luffy tries to shake him off but can’t. Luffy tries to get up and move but his legs feel weak all of a sudden. Like he’s underwater. And everything cold and his whole body sore. There’s needles all up and down his arms. There’s a hand on his neck, his face is being pressed down. There’s water pouring down on him from above. His whole body sore and hurts. And he’s back in the shower, he’s back on the floor. Zoro on top of him, squeezing his arm. Digging his fingernails in and it hurts so bad. Luffy can’t even cry. There’s a hand on his throat. There’s a hand over his mouth. There hands all over him, tearing at him, clawing at him. Making him bleed more. The water pouring down on him. Everything loud, too loud. He wants to run away. Go back to a safer place. A place where Zoro is the loyal first-mate. The loyal, protective first mate. A first-mate who’d never betray him, never hurt him. He wants to go back to before when Zoro still loved him. Luffy just trapped. Trapped back to when he was on the bathroom floor.
And it feels hard to breathe now. There’s a hand on his throat. There’s water pouring over him. Luffy back on the bathroom floor. And Luffy never felt more alone.
“Look at it.” And Sabo still holding his sleeve up. Forcing his head in the direction of the scars. Sabo being mean making him look at the scars. Sabo being mean making him remember that night. Sabo being mean ignoring his tears. Sabo being mean and hurtful.
And Zoro ignored his tears. Zoro didn’t stop when he was crying and begging. Zoro kept holding his face against the floor. Zoro was mean first. Zoro abandoned him. Left him with nothing but scars.
A/N - it’s Zolu but dark, zoro not a good person in the story, read tags
*feedback is welcome
And Luffy is impulsive. Actions come first and the thinking comes later. Luffy lets his body control his moves. In fights it’s less about plans and more about doing what feels right in the moment. Luffy rarely thinks far in advance what consequences his actions might have. His body is detached from his mind at times. It does its own thing.
And that translates to other areas besides fighting. Luffy goes overboard with affection. Hugging too tight, not just Zoro but the rest of the crew as well. Luffy forgets in the moment at times his crew mates aren’t rubber like him. Sometimes jumping from too high of heights to land on someone’s unsuspecting back. Not realizing a normal person knees would buckle and stumble forward. When he wraps his arms around his crew, his nakama, to carry them along as he flings himself head first to the next location. Too impatient to walk, Luffy forgets in the moment his crew would get serious whiplash. Luffy has, many times, unintentionally hurt his crew. Not out of malice but just plain forgetfulness. It’s closer to clumsiness then meanness. And his crew forgives him. They’ll grumble and swat at him but they always forgive him. Nami sometimes takes longer to forgive him, and swears at him more, but she forgives him too in the end. It’s always an accident. Accidents are blameless after all.
Luffy is impulsive and so it makes sense Zoro is too. Zoro spends so much time with Luffy, it makes sense for him to adopt some of Luffy mannerisms. So sometimes Zoro gets too impulsive in the moment too and listens to his body more than he should. And so sometimes Zoro accidentally, it’s always an accident it’s never intentional, hurts Luffy too.
Zoro is passionate and strong. Zoro is just like Luffy and doesn’t think before his body moves sometimes. Zoro doesn’t think he’s hurting Luffy when he gets too worked up. Zoro not thinking about wanting to hurt Luffy even though Luffy on the floor of the shower. Zoro can’t tell Luffy crying because the water from the shower still running and is mixing with the tears. Zoro not stopping because he’s not hearing Luffy cries. It’s getting muffled by the water running and Zoro hand on his throat. Zoro is loyal and passionate and Luffy knows this. Luffy knows Zoro loves him so deeply. And sometimes love just gets a persons body too worked up. Luffy knows this. Luffy understands this.
Luffy reminds himself of this every time Zoro gets too worked up. Luffy is currently reminding himself of this as Zoro is still on top of him. Still holding him down. Still not seeing the tears or hearing the cries. Zoro still too worked up to notice the small details. Zoro is just like Luffy. Zoro body has a mind of its own at times.
And it’s the water that’s making things worse. The water constantly hitting him from above that’s making Luffy feel more panicky. Feel more afraid. And it’s nonsense. It’s irrational. There’s no reason to panic or be afraid. Zoro here with him. Zoro would never hurt him. Zoro is loyal and loving and the best first-mate. The water is just making Luffy head hurt. Messing with his emotions. Making him feel things he shouldn’t. Luffy should never feel afraid of Zoro.
It’s just the water messing with his head. The water that’s freezing now. The water that feels like needles poking him over and over again. Luffy head is just hurting. Luffy head is still being held down against the bathroom floor.
And Luffy tries to think of Zoro and his loyalty. All the times Zoro risked his life for Luffy. How Zoro was willing to give up his dream for Luffy life. Zoro did all this for Luffy. It doesn’t make sense for Luffy to be afraid of Zoro. It’s irrational, it’s nonsense.
The water still running. Still hitting Luffy. Still messing with his mind. Making him think things he shouldn’t. About how Zoro holding his neck too tight. Pressing it against the floor too hard. Everything feels worse because of the water. And Zoro is passionate and impulsive. Zoro isn’t aware of his own body at times. Zoro moves without thinking at times too. Zoro is just like Luffy.
And Luffy feels the water coming from above. And its too harsh. It’s too cold. It’s making him feel more panicky and stressed out. Which is weird. It’s wrong. He’s safe there’s no reason to panic.
There’s no reason for stress, he’s here with Zoro. Zoro always protects him. There’s no reason to panic. It’s just because of the water raining down on him. It’s messing with his head. Making everything hurt more.
He’s safe. He’s fine. Everything ok. Zoro is with him. Nothing bad is happening to him. Zoro is with him and everything is fine. Zoro body just has a mind of its own sometimes. Zoro acts without thinking sometimes. Zoro is impulsive and brash and just like Luffy. Zoro still on top of him. Hovering over him. Zoro seems so much taller when Luffy looking up at him from the floor. And it’s kind of romantic how the water rolls off Zoro. How Zoro body acts like an umbrella, shielding water away from Luffy. That Zoro always seems to want to protect Luffy. Even when he gets like this, too impulsive and too worked up, Luffy still knows Zoro loves him.
And it’s because of Luffy insistence that Zoro even with him in the shower. Luffy hates showering alone. His arms get tired too easily to rinse himself good. To scrub out all the dirt from his hair. Zoro only started joining him because Luffy insisted on it. And Zoro usually is good at scrubbing all the dirt out of his hair without getting soap in his eyes. Zoro lets Luffy lean against him when he gets too tired of standing and makes sure the water is a nice temperature. Zoro dries him off good and carries him back to their room, it’s the Captains room technically. Showers are usually a nicer experience. Tonight experience is just an outlier. A one-off. An accident. Accidents are blameless.
And Luffy head is hurting from the water and it’s hard to tell how long he’s been on the floor. It can’t be that long though. Zoro would never be hurting him this long, even accidentally. It feels like a long time but it can’t be that long. And after what feels like a really long time Luffy getting lifted off the shower floor. Zoro helping Luffy lean against the wall. Helping scrub his hair and clean his face and wash his whole body. Zoro helps him dry off and the towels seem extra soft. And it feels really nice when Zoro carries him back to their room. Luffy body still sore but it’s more the waters fault that Zoro’s. Zoro is loyal and caring and the perfect first-mate.
Luffy body is so tired. It makes sleep come a lot easier. And Luffy last thoughts before he dreams are about how soft the towels felt and how nice it felt getting his hair scrubbed.
Sabo was told, by his parents, from a young age he was born different. Born without something. Born without the ability to feel guilt or shame. Born without the ability to just be happy. To be grateful. To just be normal.
Sabo could never just be happy. To be grateful his parents spent so much on him. Invested so much in him. Brought him the nicest clothes which he always ruined all the times he tried to run away. All the times he got into fights.
Sabo never felt guilty about ruining his parents life by his existence. Even though his mom often cried as she locked him in his room. Wondering out loud where she went wrong. Why her son was so angry and disrespectful and just shameless? Sabo didn’t feel the least bit sad when his parents took down all the photos of him. Covered up the family portraits with him in it.
Sabo never felt guilt or shame. None of the normal feelings he was apparently supposed to feel. Never felt sadness about being excluded from games with other kids when he was dragged to school his parents spent a fortune on. Sabo never felt sad when his parents stopped sending the servants out to look for him when he’d run away at night. When they just one day stopped looking out the window at night waiting to see him trudge up the steps. One day they just stopped seeing him as their son and just as a mistake that needs to be hidden.
Sabo has enough social awareness, from hours of staring at people out of his window, to understand he should feel sad. Should feel sad when the other kids exclude him. Should feel some guilt about seeing his own mom cry about having a son like him. There should be some grief inside him. Some part of him that wants to change, to want to be included, want to be wanted. He’s a person, he should crave some type of affirmation from others.
All Sabo can feel is anger. Anger when he’s forced into uncomfortable clothes that were ironed too much. Anger when his classmates annoy him with their loud voices and obnoxious laughter. All Sabo feels is anger. When he’s locked in his room for the hundredth time, he’s just angry and screaming and kicking and cursing. It’s not a sadness at being excluded it’s an anger from being locked up. From being prevented from escaping.
From being forced to hear his mom cry and cry about having a son like him. It’s not guilt or shame or sadness. It’s not any healthy or acceptable emotion. It’s just anger. It’s always anger.
And when the servants finally stop coming to look for him at night, it’s not sadness, it’s not loneliness he feels. It’s just more anger. Now the anger is directed at the world. Everything just makes him angry. The animals that he hunts. The people he steals from. Everything just makes him angry. Everything makes him want to fight and kick and scream. He falls asleep angry and wakes up angry. And maybe it’s understandable the anger now. He’s sleeping in the woods on literal dirt. Maybe now he has a right to be angry.
And Sabo loses tracks of the days of how long he’s been away from home. How long he’s just been falling asleep alone and angry. Just waking up angry and hungry and just hating everything. The days blurs into nights. Everything is just a blur of anger and violence. Of him just hunting animals more for a way to release his anger than to feed himself. Him stealing from people and getting more satisfaction when they put up a fight then when they just comply. And Sabo feels his whole life was, is and will always be just anger.
And then Sabo meets Ace. And Ace is like him. Ace is angry. Ace is mean and violent. Ace is the kind of kid his parents would hate, the kind of kid his former classmates would be scared of. Ace is angry and hateful too. And Sabo finally feels something other than anger. Sabo finally feels acceptance.
Because Ace is angry like him. Ace is good at hunting like him. Good at stealing like him. Ace goes to bed angry too and wakes up angry. Ace is angry at the world like he is. And Sabo feels finally something other than anger. Sabo feels a sense of kinship. A sense of belonging. Sabo feels acceptance.
And maybe it’s the new feeling that clouds his normally astute observations. Because it takes Sabo a couple weeks to realize him and Ace aren’t the same after all. Ace doesn’t repeatedly attack and strike animals when he’s hunting them. Ace goes for one clean strike to kill an animal. Ace doesn’t want the animal to suffer. Ace kills for food rather then to just have something to hurt. When Ace steals it’s mostly from drunks. And that’s because they’re usually too drunk to put up a fight, to drunk to remember faces. So there’s no need for Ace to beat them senseless or attempt to blind them. When Ace steals it is just for money and not for a reason to hurt someone.
Ace and him are different. Very different. Ace does not want to be angry. Does not want to hate the world. Ace actually seems to want to belong. Sabo can tell by the way Ace looks at families. By the way Ace looks at school kids playing. Ace is angry but doesn’t want to be. Ace is an outcast but wishes he wasn’t. Ace and him aren’t the same after all.
And it’s a new feeling that creeps up when Sabo comes to this realization. It’s awful and weird. He feels his chest tighten and his eyes start to water. His stomach feels like he’s gonna hurl. He can’t tell what this new feeling is. Maybe it’s what guilt is supposed to feel like. Maybe its what shame feels like. Whatever it is he hates it and hates Ace more for making him feel like this. Sabo for the first time feels bad about being so angry.
Sabo still goes hunting with Ace. Still steals with Ace. And slowly Sabo starts adopting more of Ace mannerisms. Sabo starts striking animals with the intent for an instant kill instead of what would draw the most blood. His choice of victims for stealing is more about who wouldn’t notice instead of who’d give him the most fight. Sabo stays up at night and listen to Ace talk. And when Ace cries about his dad it’s not annoyance or anger he feels. Sabo actually feels like crying too.
And Sabo hates this new emotions he’s feeling. He hates not being angry all the time. He misses it which he knows is a strange thing to admit. Sabo hates feeling sad when Ace is sad. Hates feeling guilty when he realizes the bear he killed was a mom with young cubs. Hates feeling guilty when the wallet he stole has a note about birthday presents and a picture of a young kid. Sabo blames Ace for these bad, new emotions he’s feeling. But yet Sabo still chooses to hang out with Ace.
And one day Ace shows up with the most annoying kid he’s ever met. Shows up with a kid who just cries constantly. A kid who can’t hunt anything, can’t steal from anyone. A kid who’s basically useless. Worse than useless, the kid just basically an anchor on a sinking ship. The kid has the most obnoxious laugh, it’s so much worse than his former classmates. The kid is annoying and stupid.
And Ace loudly complains about the kid. Tells him to get lost multiple times. And Sabo waits for Ace to make the kid go away. Because he knows Ace can. Ace can hurt the kid bad enough that he’d be too scared to follow him around like a lost puppy. So Sabo waits and holds his tongue. Waits for Ace to really hurt the kid. For Ace to get angry enough to make the kid leave. But Ace never gets that angry. Ace scowls and hits and loudly complains. Ace rolls his eyes and sighs whenever the kid opens his mouth. But Ace also, begrudgingly, grabs the kids when he’s about to fall into the river. Gives him part of his cooked fish, it’s the burnt part, to the kid when he’s cries about being hungry. Ace says he hates the kid. Ace literally stomps his feet when he hears the kid, whose name is Luffy, call him his brother.
Ace repeatedly yells that they’re not brothers but still jumped into the river when Luffy fell in. Still made Luffy a fire to keep him warm. Ace says he hates Luffy but still didn’t let him die. Which maybe is a low bar to have but Sabo would have definitely let him drown. And Ace didn’t. Which just widens the difference between Sabo and Ace.
And Sabo never voices his more extreme thoughts. How they can easily trick Luffy into jumping in the river if they tell him there’s treasure on the bottom. That if Luffy is really as annoying as Ace says then Ace shouldn’t have a problem with just watching him drown. Ace should feel relieved with the thought of Luffy finally leaving him alone. Because all the thoughts Sabo has, Ace apparently doesn’t have them. Or if he does, Ace is choosing to ignore them. Choosing to not act on them. Ace is not like Sabo. Ace does not like being mean or angry. Ace doesn’t want to see people,(even annoying, dumb ones) get hurt.
And Sabo again feels the weird feeling. Where he feels like he’s gonna throw up. Where his eyes are watery and his chest feels heavy. And he doesn’t know what to call this feeling exactly. If it’s more shame about being so angry, guilt from thinking how easy it would be to just watch Luffy drown. Maybe it’s just sadness to realize him and Ace are really very different.
Sabo stays silent and holds his tongue. Even though he doesn’t understand these new feelings, he’s aware enough to know that it shouldn’t be said out loud. That Ace will look at him differently if he realizes the extent of Sabo’s anger. The thought of Ace realizing how different they are just makes Sabo stomach feel empty.
Because Ace and him have plans. Have plans to leave the island and sail together. To form their own pirate crew. They’ve been hiding all the money they’ve stolen in a secret spot. And when they have enough they’ll set sail for the open sea. Just him and Ace. No Luffy to annoy them. No family or school kids for Ace to look at sadly and secretly wish to be a part of. Nothing that serves as a reminder for the growing differences between him and Ace. Ace and Sabo have plans. And they do not include a crybaby like Luffy.
Their plans change. It has to change. Because Luffy was noisy and found out about their secret stash. And since Luffy’s an idiot he was blabbing about the treasure in front of real pirates and got himself kidnapped. So Luffy somewhere telling his kidnappers where the treasure is. Most definitely crying and begging not to get hurt. Pirates are coming to steal their treasure. So Sabo and Ace plans are forced to change. The plan now is to take all the treasure they can hold and just run to the dock, steal any boat they can and set sail.
It wasn’t their original plan but it’s what they have to do now. Plans have changed because of Luffy. Because Luffy is obviously telling the kidnappers everything. Luffy, who cries when he gets a splinter, will never not reveal the location of the treasure if he’s being threatened with violence. Luffy a crybaby. Luffy is weak. Luffy isn’t strong like them.
So him and Ace are stuffing their bags with all the treasure they can get their hands on. Dragging the heavy bag, that’s too heavy to carry now, across the dirt floor of the forest towards the docks. And the plan now is to focus on finding a ship to steal. Something small that won’t be missed right away. Something small that can make a quick get away. That’s the plan.
Plans change. They change a lot. Because the plan is to get to the docks as fast as they can. Yet, Ace keeps looking back and pausing. Ace keeps looking worried every time he looks back. Ace starts to breathe more heavily and not because their bags weigh too much, but because Ace, unlike him, feels guilty when he does bad things. Ace feels guilty when he acts too mean. Ace still looked out for Luffy even when Luffy was being annoying. Ace keeps looking back and his lips are trembling. And his hands are shaking. Ace didn’t want Luffy to die which is why Ace jumped in the river when Luffy fell in. Ace did not want Luffy to die. And maybe that’s a low bar to have but it’s a bar.
Ace does not want Luffy to die. Ace feels guilty when he does bad things. Ace wants to belong and to feel a part of something. Ace cries about his dad at night and worries if he’s just evil. Ace let’s go of his bag, his treasure, and runs back to the forest. Away from the docks. Away from the open seas. Away from their plans. Ace runs away from doing a bad thing and runs towards Luffy. And maybe Sabo is not so different from Ace after all. Because Sabo let’s go of his bag and runs towards Luffy too.
A/N- this is an angsty scene. Zoro is not nice in this, read tags
Luffy can’t even really pinpoint the exact moment when their relationship changed. When it went from friendship to romance. Because truth be told there relationship was always extreme. It started off extreme. Luffy basically dangled freedom in front of Zoro. Only agreeing to free him after the latter agreed to join his crew. Zoro, who was hungry and sleep deprived and on the verge of getting attacked by marines did end up agreeing to the trade. Zoro pledged his loyalty in exchange for Luffy freeing him from the ropes. In retrospect not the start to a typical romance.
Luffy probably should have freed him first then offered him a spot on his crew. Have it so Zoro only options weren’t literally join him or die by marines. Maybe give Zoro an actual choice and not just the illusion of one. But Luffy was, and is, selfish. Luffy wanted Zoro from the start. Wanted him on his crew. Wanted him to join. Wanted to make sure he’d say yes. So Luffy asked while Zoro was still tied up. Dangled freedom in front of a man that was about to die a violent death. Gave the illusion of choice. Luffy was selfish. Luffy got what he wanted.
But maybe Luffy did go about it the wrong way. Maybe Luffy could have been more altruistic. Less selfish. Maybe Zoro would have still said yes, if Luffy freed him first, helped him escape regardless. Asked once Zoro was fully healed and rested and not have death looming over him. Maybe Luffy being too selfish in the beginning set the wrong tone for their relationship.
Maybe Luffy just messed things up from the start. Unintentionally planted some resentment into the foundation of their relationship. Maybe Luffy just deserves to be punished. To be given a false illusion of choice too. To be given a false sense of control.
Because Luffy does have choices. Luffy is choosing this. Luffy not protesting, not fighting back. Luffy not saying “no.” Even when his arm is getting twisted more and more. Even when he feels a hand, (zoro hand, zoro hand is doing this to him) grab more of his hair, push his face more into the mattress. Luffy still has a choice. Luffy is being given a choice.
Luffy can easily push Zoro off. Can easily pull his arm out of Zoro grasp if he wanted too. Luffy stronger than Zoro. It’s a fact. Zoro even readily admits it. Luffy is strong. Luffy is the Captain. Luffy chose Zoro. Luffy has choices. Luffy is not the victim in this, there’s no victims in this scenario. Luffy choosing this as much as Zoro is. As much as Zoro is choosing to be the one twisting Luffy arm and pushing Luffy face down. As much as Zoro is choosing to dig his nails more and more into Luffy arm. They’re both choosing this.
And maybe it’s selfish for Zoro to choose these things. Maybe it’s selfish and mean for Zoro to choose to ignore the tears.
Choose to ignore how Luffy not enjoying this. That the only one getting off to this is Zoro. Maybe it’s selfish and mean and wrong. But Luffy was selfish first. Luffy set the tone of their relationship. Luffy was selfish first and has been selfish throughout. Luffy always asks a lot from Zoro. Zoro gives alot to Luffy. Sacrifices a lot for Luffy. Was willing to give up his dream, his ambition for Luffy. Zoro done more for Luffy than anyone ever has.
Zoro deserves to be selfish. To be mean. To not focus on Luffy for once and just himself. Luffy was selfish in the beginning, it’s only fair for Zoro to get to be selfish too.
And it’s harder to breathe. It’s harder to hold back the tears. Luffy has to move his head around till his cheek pressed up against the mattress so he can breathe better. And it really does hurt Zoro being this selfish. But Luffy been selfish from the beginning so it’s only fair. Luffy can’t complain. Luffy always been selfish. Zoro should get to be selfish too.
Luffy reminds himself of this because his arm is really hurting. And there’s definitely blood now from nails and biting. And there’s a lot of pain. And it hurts somewhere deep that Zoro can still be enjoying this. Seeing Luffy crying. Hearing the “stop” in Luffy crying. But Luffy was selfish too. Luffy saw Zoro tied up, starved, threatened with execution and still didn’t free him till Zoro agreed to join him. Luffy was selfish and mean first. Luffy planted selfishness into the very foundation of relationship. Luffy has always been selfish.
And Luffy still has choices. Luffy can push Zoro off if he really wanted too. Can say “stop” louder. Keep repeating it till Zoro actually listens. Luffy can tell Zoro it’s really hurting. Zoro would stop if he knew. Zoro would stop because Zoro loves him. Even though Luffy is selfish Zoro still loves him. Zoro is loyal and self-sacrificing. Zoro bowed down to Mihawk in order to get stronger for him. Zoro offered his head to Kuma for him. Zoro has been selfless throughout their relationship. He’s allowed moments to be selfish. To focus on his needs.
Luffy tries to ignore the pain in his arm. The way his neck is hurting from the angle it’s being pushed into the pillow. That his crying is making it hard to see. Which is probably for the best. Because Zoro doesn’t look like Zoro when he gets like this. There’s no warmth in Zoro eyes. There’s no smile on his face. Luffy doesn’t really want to see Zoro looking so mean anyways. It’s for the best. Luffy has options to choose from. He can push Zoro off or just endure this. Luffy has a choice like Zoro had a choice. Zoro being selfish and mean like how Luffy was selfish and mean. Luffy has a choice. Luffy is in control.
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