Fandom : One Piece
Pairing : Zoro/Luffy
-idea I had about Usopp finding out a lot of juicy gossip. Unfortunately he has no one to tell/no one believes him.
Fic Idea
zoro and Luffy are dating. Zoro is intersex. Finds out when law is treating him after a battle. Zoro feels ashamed/guilty/worries luffys reaction. He keeps it a secret at first but tells Luffy after feeling guilty. Zoro struggles telling Luffy and Luffy ends up misunderstanding what zoro was trying to tell him. Luffy thinks zoro was trying to break up with him and going to date law instead. Luffy leaves upset and zoro thinks his reaction is about being told zoro intersex. Zoro feels depressed that Luffy took it bad. Luffy pretends to be fine but doesn’t hang out with zoro and acts differently.. Zoro feels miserable but tries to hide it. While sailing they meet up with laws ship and decide to dock on an island. Most of the crew besides Usopp and zoro go explore the island. Law stays on the ship too. Most of law crew is on the polar tang. But some are just strolling the Sunny to see the ship. Usopp stayed on the ship to talk to zoro. Sensing he’s been upset about something. Zoro tries to deny it. A big commotion happens on the ship. Zoro and Usopp see a big fight between Luffy and Bepo with law being between them. Also Shachi and penguin there too trying to hold Bepo back.
Story (rough draft)
And Usopp seen Luffy get angry before. Seen him get pissed. Hell, Usopp seen him wipe out whole fleets. The thing is, usually the “I’m gonna fuck kill someone” rage is directed towards enemies. Towards marines trying to kill them. Towards pirates trying to kill them. It’s never directed at the crew. It’s never directed at someone Luffy calls a friend. And even though Usopp was against the alliance from the start, thought it was the dumbest idea Luffy ever had, which is saying something because Luffy has had very dumb ideas, Usopp accepted it.
Because once Luffy sets his mind on something there’s no use trying to change it. Once Luffy considers a person a friend, that person is connected to Luffy for life. Luffy would go to battle for any of his crew. For Law, even though he wasn’t an official crew member, Luffy still treated him as family. Still tried to include him in pranks, despite Law frequent protests. Still made sure Law ate with them at meals. Still even allowed Law’s crew aboard the Sunny as well.
So Usopp is in bewilderment of what Law could have done to get Luffy so pissed. To have Luffy be screaming and flailing his limbs trying to escape Zoro hold. Matter of fact, what could piss Bepo off so much to make him act such as angry. Such as crazed. Usopp didn’t even have much interaction with Bepo. All he knows is that Bepo was a bear who apologized a lot and always looked down at the floor. And always tries to make himself look smaller than he is.
But Bepo is acting such as crazed at Luffy at the moment. Snarling and trying to push past Law to get at Luffy. And Law is, trying, to push Bepo back. All the while looking back at Luffy likes he’s gonna murder him. Usopp isn’t even sure if the three of them realize they have an audience now. Shachi and Penguin are trying in vain to pull Bepo back, Usopp didn’t even notice them at first, all while trying to talk to Bepo. Trying to placate him.
“Bepo, calm down! It’s not true. Straw-hat obviously lying!”
“Fuck, your Captain’s the fucking liar!”
Luffy yells back still trying to attack. Zoro arm tighten around Luffy’s waist, trying desperately to hold his Captain back. Luffy starts scratching at the hands around his waist. Wanting to make whatever holding him back let go. Grabbing at the hands around him in a frenzy, something crosses Luffy face as he realizes Zoro the one who’s holding him back.
“You’re Captain’s the fucking liar.”
And this time the accusation comes out more in a cry than a yell. More broken than angry. Luffy stops trying to get out of Zoro grasp.
“You’re Captain the fucking liar and a fucking shit asshole and a -,” and Luffy next insult is drowned out by Bepo’s snarling. While Luffy rage seemed to have lessen, Bepo’s was still at full volume. Law still holding him back, both hands on the side of Bepo’s face trying to push him back.
“Captain’s not a liar. Captain would never lie to me.” Bepo keeps trying to push said Captain out of the way to get at his intended target, Luffy.
And everything is chaotic. Usopp never seen Luffy get this way when the crew was not in danger. Never seen Luffy get so worked up and hysterical unless a crew member was heavily injured. Luffy still shrieking and Bepo still snarling. Law, Shachi and Penguin all talking over each other to get Bepo to calm down. Usopp half expects Luffy to not even hear him when his question comes out.
“Luffy, what did Law even do?” Usopp asks In disbelief as he gets in front of Luffy. Hoping Luffy will try to calm down if a crew member is between him and his target. And Usopp doesn’t know what answer to expect. What answer will make everything make sense. Make all the chaos suddenly understandable. Usopp mind is blank with confusion, unable to come up with a reason. Even if Usopp was able to think of reasons, there is no way he’d be able to come up with the answer Luffy gives.
“This fucking back-stabbing asshole,” Luffy speaks each word with more anger, seemingly getting himself more worked up, “is cheating on Zoro.” Luffy cries at saying Zoro. Shoulders shaking as he points a finger towards Law.
And Zoro seems just as shocked by the statement because his hold on Luffy momentarily loosens. Luffy, instead of taking the chance to strike, holds onto Zoro arms. As if wanting to pressure back around him.
“He doesn’t appreciate Zoro, he doesn’t deserve Zoro, and Zoro should still be fucking me and not him.” Luffy full on sobbing at this moment. Unaware that his explanation only caused more confusion. And Usopp looks over Luffy to stare at Zoro equally confused face.
And normally when Usopp hears any drama, especially relationship drama, he’s all about it. He takes mental notes to share with Nami later. He tries to get as much information as he can. He asks as many questions as he can get away with without being considered too nosy. And Usopp just heard a lot of drama. The type that he’d be up all night telling Nami about. So he should be asking questions, should be taking mental notes, should be doing a lot of things. But, Usopp brain has stopped working. Apparently, so overwhelmed with what he just heard, it’s gone completely broken. He feels smoke coming out of his ears.
“Wai-what?” is all Usopp can muster out.
“He’s cheating on Zoro with that stupid bear,” Luffy shouts louder, as if volume was the reason for any confusion.
“Don’t call Bepo stupid, you idiot!” Law yells scowling at Luffy, momentarily taking his eyes off Bepo.
“Captain not a cheater! Captain would never do that!” Bepo muffled cries are still loud for all to hear. Volume was not the reason for the confusion at all.
“He’s a cheater and an asshole, and a -“ and Luffy lets out curses that Usopp is sure Kidd and Killer would blush at. Let’s out expletives so graphic that he feels the urge to cover his ears. Zoro seems to have the same urge because he fully releases his grip on Luffy waist. This time Luffy the one who’s holding Zoro arms. Seemingly wanting back the pressure around him.
“He was kissing Bepo, I saw them. He was kissing Bepo even though he’s with Zoro. And Zoro the best and great at kissing and fucking. And Zoro deserves better. And I never cheated on Zoro. And I always made Zoro cum each time and Zoro deserved it because Zoro amazing.” Luffy back to sobbing all while looking at Law.
And Usopp just learned a lot but is still confused. Even more confused now. Because Luffy’s declaration only created more questions needing to be answered. Like when were Luffy and Zoro hooking up? When was the break up? When did Zoro and Law start hooking up? What has Law been doing with his bear? Usopp has a whole list of questions needing answers now. The most important question being where was all this hooking up taking place? Because wherever it was Usopp needs to thoroughly clean or burn that area now.
And Usopp staring at Luffy as if he’ll finally say something that won’t cause confusion. Won’t create a million questions needing to be answered.
“I made Zoro cum a lot more times than you have,” Luffy shouts at Law. And Usopp can’t tell who looks more embarrassed at that statement, Zoro or Law.
“I never did anything like that with your swordsman, idiot,” Law grunts out not even looking back at Luffy. Eyes still focused on Bepo, trying to placate him.
“You never even cared if he cummed!,”
Luffy shrieked out as if Law just admitted to murdering small puppies.Whatever insults Luffy was about to unleash on Law next will forever be a mystery. Zoro firmly covers Luffy’s mouth with his hand. Probably finally having enough of the details of his sex life being screamed out loud.
“Idiot, me and him have never fucked. We’re not together. We’ve never been together.” Zoro says each sentence sternly.
“You guys aren’t together,” Luffy asks sniffling. And now Luffy has a confused look on his face. Luffy joins every one else in not understanding what the fucks going on.
“No! Idiot, why would I even wanna be with him. You and me were- we were,” Zoro hesitates. Having trouble to finish his sentence, Zoro struggles to say the last part.
“I liked when we were together.” Zoro looks at the floor as he finishes his sentence.
“But you broke up with me,”Luffy says continuing to sniffle. Still having tears in his eyes.
“When the- fucking why would you-when did I even- I -,” Zoro incoherent babbling is cut off by a still whimpering Luffy.
“So you guys aren’t fucking,” Luffy asks tearfully with a hint of hope.
“I’m not screwing your damn swordsman, idiot,” Law answers back angrily. Still holding back Bepo.
“What the hell made you even think that,” Law in a disgusted tone, as if the mere thought made him want to jump in the ocean.
And Usopp is growing incredibly more and more confused. The more talking that goes on the more questions he has. The more images that he’d never wish on his worst enemy pop into his mind. Usopp is equal parts disturbed and curious as to what both Captains have been doing in their free time. Usopp wants to scrub his mind clean of everything he’s just been forced to watch. He wants a detailed play-by-play of events to share with Nami later. Usopp is confused.
“What the fuck is going on?” And Usopp is talking more to the universe then to the characters of the fucked up stage drama he’s just watched. The secret romance, the cheating or not cheating, the very detailed name callings all feel straight out of a trashy romance book that Nami reads. And that Usopp also reads in secret.
“What the fuck is going on?” Usopp asks again.
And all eyes turn to him. As if everyone realized his presence at the same time. Realized a person who wasn’t involved in any of the secret romance’s onboard either ship suddenly got a front row seat to it. And even though everyone was just screaming and yelling in disagreement seconds ago, they all seem to reach the same thought.
“Usopp butt out!” A range of voices scream at him. From Bepo’s high pitched whine to Luffy’s hoarse voice. All faces turn to Usopp. Each looking offended as if Usopp was the one who committed a social faux pas. Usopp momentarily deafened by all the yells directed at him, misses the gruff “shambles” muttered under Law’s breath. Next thing Usopp knows he’s being dropped into the ocean, far away enough from the ship that he can no longer hear any more disturbing and titillating confessions.
“What the fuck is going on?” Usopp shouts again this time to a school of fish startled by his sudden drop in. The fish look back equally confused as him.
And Usopp doesn’t know what he expects to find as he makes the journey to swim back towards the ship. His mind racing with different scenarios. Wondering what more mayhem and chaos he’ll find. Also worrying about Nami reaction to his, now ruined, hair. Nami the one that helps him do his hair. And the money she charges has made Usopp permanently in debt for life.
And as Usopp finally reaches the ship, after what feels like forever swimming, and uses what little strength in his arms left to climb aboard the Sunny, Usopp is waiting to hear shouting. Hear more threats and crying. Usopp hears none of that though. Hesitantly peaking over, the sight he sees leaves him in utter bafflement.
Any damage to the ship has been fixed or hidden away. Zoro resting against one of Nami’s orange trees. Law resting on the side of the deck that Usopp peaking over of. The rest are playing a game of cards in the middle of the deck. Or attempting to at least.
“No, Mugiwara, you’re not supposed to show us your cards yet?” Bepo voice comes out gently like a mother trying to explain something to a child. A stark difference to earlier when he looked like he was about to murder Luffy.
And Usopp is in stunned silence of the scene. Still clinging to the ladder, not making any attempts to climb over to get fully back on the ship.
“Do you need help getting over?” Law asks with a yawn. As if the previous events never happened. As if it wasn’t revealed Law and Bepo are apparently a couple. As if the accusations of infidelity and broken romances weren’t just shouted out for all to hear.
“What the fuck is going on,” Usopp mutters out no longer expecting an answer.
“Bepo and the others are playing poker. They’ve been trying to teach your Captain but he doesn’t seem to be picking it up,”. Law explains with a shrug.
Usopp too stunned once again to speak, doesn’t even protest when Law flicks his wrist. Now Usopp is standing fully on deck, dripping water and fully lost in confusion.
“What the fuck is going on,” the phrase is once again uttered to no one desperate for an answer.
“Usopp, I’m trying to concentrate, shush,” Luffy voice comes out seemingly stressed by the game.
“So this is the toilet,” Luffy says shoving his cards in front of Bepos face.
“It’s called a flush and no it’s not, and stop showing people your cards. It’s not even your turn yet.” Penguin sighs exasperated, pulling Luffy’s hands away from Bepo’s face.
“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE,” Usopp shouts thinking he must have ended up on a completely different ship somehow.
“Usopp, I’m trying to nap,” Zoro shouts in his direction not even opening his eyes.
“Go take a shower or something you’re dripping water everywhere too,” Zoro finishes off dismissing him. As if Usopp was the one who ruined a peaceful day.
“Yeah, Usopp go shower or nap or something,” Luffy waves him off.
“So this is a bust,” Luffy says turning excitedly to show his hand to Penguin. Penguin sighs pressing his fingers to his temple.
Usopp doesn’t wait to hear Penguin’s exasperated response. Walking wordlessly to the bathroom he wonders if he somehow did board an entirely different ship. If everyone was playing an elaborate joke on him. If he suddenly developed I-imagined-I’m-A-Side-Character-In-A-Trashy-Romance-itis.
“Usopp, I’ll always help with your hair. You don’t need to make up lies about how it got wet.” Nami says tiredly. When she came back on the ship after a day of shopping she was tired. Wanting to do nothing but rest she was stopped by a distraught looking Usopp, who’s hair was a mess. Nami first was a little, ok a lot, annoyed. Thinking how just last week she was up all night helping him with his detailed and exhaustive hair routine. The fact Usopp decided on a whim to go for a swim with no protection and ruin all her work was annoying.
But maybe she looked too upset because the lie Usopp came up with to avoid blame was so far-fetched. Which made Nami momentarily feel guilty. Was she so scary that Usopp felt the need to lie to avoid her wrath. The guilt quickly turned to anger. Who was Usopp to make her feel guilty. Anger than turned to just annoyance. Because Usopp was still sticking with the lie.
“I’m not lying,” Usopp says sounding on the verge of a breakdown.
“I swear they were all about to murder each other. Bepo was trying to kill Luffy and -,”
“Bepo apologized to the table when he bumped into it at dinner,” Nami says tiredly. Not believing Usopp for a second.
“That bear, that same bear was about to attack Luffy, that’s the lie you wanna go with?” Nami says resisting the urge to hit Usopp on the head with the brush she was currently holding.
“I swear he was. Law had to get between them. Zoro had to hold Luffy back and- and Shachi and Penguin was there too and-.”
“Usopp, you know Bepo would probably be really hurt by your lies.” Nami says.
“Nami, I swear on my life I’m not lying.” Usopp feels his mind about to explode if he can’t share with another person what he was a witness too today.
“Luffy was screaming at Law about him kissing Bepo and-,”
“Luffy made out with the bear,”
“No, no Law was the one kissing Bepo and Luffy saw and got pissed off and,”
“Why would Luffy even care at all who Law was kissing,” Nami feels the urge to just leave Usopp to his mess of a hair and go to bed. No part of his story was believable. Least of all Luffy getting mad. While Luffy had many, many, faults, he was an easy-going Captain. Only getting legitimately mad when friends or loved we’re in danger. He’d never threaten violence unless a crew member safety was in danger. The fact in Usopp story, Luffy got so bothered by a kiss that didn’t even involve him was preposterous.
“Because he thought Law was cheating on Zoro,” Usopp barely stops himself from screaming that part out loud.
“He thought Law was cheating and got mad at him for that and for not caring about Zoro and then he was screaming about-,” Usopp stops himself, face turning red. Even after everything he told Nami, after repeating most of the sordid details he was witness too, all the talk about Zoro and Luffy sex life was too embarrassing to say. Luffy never showed any interest in dating, Usopp was sure he never even kissed anyone before. To hear Luffy scream about all the times him and Zoro had sex, and explicitly about Zoro enjoyment of it, mortified Usopp. He felt like he’d never be able to look at his Captain the same way again.
Nami paused her brushing at Usopp silence. Turning to look at him. After awhile she put the brush done and gave a deep sigh. Usopp was sure she was going to continue yelling at him for “lying” or just storm off. What she did next surprised him so much, Usopp wondered once again if he somehow just boarded a different ship.
Nami pulls Usopp into a deep hug. It was actually very comforting after all the mental trauma he went through that day. Nami strokes his hair gently, like a mother comforting a sick child.
“Usopp,” Nami tone is sweet and caring as she still hugs him. “You’re a very dear friend. I honestly feel you and me have a special bond I hope you know that.” Nami pulls away to face him. Hands gently caressing his cheek. Usopp feel all his frustrations melt away. He felt so safe in Nami presence. Maybe she finally believes me. Usopp thinks for a hopeful moment.
“If you’re gay, I’m completely ok with that and accepting too.” Nami smiles looking at him, still with a soft expression. What little hope Usopp had of being believed are shot dead.
“If you’ve been having dreams about Law or Luffy that’s fine ok. There’s nothing wrong with you. You don’t need to lie about it.” Nami says as she squeezes his hands.
Usopp feels he must have died during the last battle. He’s in Hell. His punishment, not being believed when he’s actually telling the truth. Nami continues on crushing his soul.
“You’re my friend I’m always gonna love you.” She says pulling him into another hug.
“And because we’re friends I’ll only charge you half of my usual rate for fixing your hair. And no interest either.” Nami adds sweetly as she places a platonic kiss on his cheek.
Usopp wonders if he just jumps into the ocean now how long he’d have to swim for till he comes across a different ship that he can board.
