Do you think, if Jonsa happens in the books, it will be sort of an unequal relationship? Like, Jon is three years older, sexually experienced, a tragic relationship under his belt, possibly same with Dany, while Sansa has had lots of trauma but no real relationship experience of her own, being only 13 last time we saw her. I want to ship it but it also makes me uncomfortable on that level.
I’ve said it time and again. GRRM’s children are unrealistic... Bran has an understanding at eight that equals an early teenager of thirteen perhaps? I mean there are very smart children, but all of the Starks do not act really their age. One of the smartest things the show did, was to age the Stark kids up.... I just assume that years are a little longer in Planetos than on Earth and that therefore the children are in fact a bit older. In my head, I always go with the show age, which is maybe 20 for Sansa (because Arya is 18 in season 8) and 23 for Jon.
I do think, that it would not be a problem, if GRRM would have stuck to his five year gap. Then Jon would be 20, Sansa 17 going on 18, and it wouldn’t be so strange.
Apart from that, I don’t think that one girlfriend makes Jon sexually experienced. And if the show is anything to go by, the relationship to Dany will be weird. So, I don’t really think that the trope “experienced man” and “inexperienced virgin” really adheres to Jon and Sansa - and I must admit that I hate that trope as well. Although I still think that it is possible that GRRM will play with the trope of the innocent girl who manages to go through hardship without really losing her innocence.
So, I get why it makes you uncomfortable, but I don’t think that you should feel obliged not to ship it because of “unequal relationship”. There are many fields where Sansa is already more experienced than Jon, and sex does not just equal sex. I mean for every couple it is different, and even if one of the couple knows the “mechanics” so to say, that doesn’t make anything a foregone conclusion.
Anyway, I think that Jonsa makes just to much sense for the story not to happen, and to me shipping Jonsa was always about how I want the story to go (with Stark revival) and not only about the fact, that I think they make an interesting story. I do think Jonsa as canon would have some of the best possibilities of story telling. If GRRM does not take the chance, he missed a great opportunity....
In this sense I still ship Jonsa as canon and I won’t stop shipping them as canon.
And last, there is always the possibility to ship Jonsa in a non-canon way: You can picture them older, in a Modern AU, Wildling AU, Alayne AU, whatever.... And in that setting you can imagine their age at something you are comfortable with. For my favourite non-canon ships I do that all the time. I put them in a setting, where I like to ship them.
Hope, that answers your question! Thanks for the ask!
And to all other anons: Sorry, it took me so long, I have been rather busy the last weeks!