#flashback post

[admin-father-yukio]

The Ascent of Father Sebastian, The Descent of Yukio Okumura, and the Parting of Siblings

[21+ Blue Exorcist x Black Butler Crossover Account. Yukio age 21 flashback post to 16 year old Yukio Written on 11.27.25 ]

His mind flashed back to that day he first began to give up trying to surpass his older brother Rin. He hated to lose. He hated to lose control…and he hated the fact that when Satan’s or Satan awoke in his eye…he had no choice to face the fact that he was no human. He was a disgusting demon..at least had been his thought all those years ago.

But looking back on it—-the real reason he wanted so badly to pull that trigger was not because he was power hungry…but because he had refused to look at his own fractured sense of self. Shattered emotions that collapsed beneath the escalation of anything..and in his shattering he harmed countless people emotionally. Broke their trust in him…

And then the fight between him and Rin had occurred. A good portion of the Vatican and Illuminati aircraft destroyed as consequence of it…though more..he had infiltrated the Illuminati so as to destroy the craft from within…but still…that was not when he gave up..

‘Yukio…I am only strong because of you. Rin…I am only strong because of you…’

Were the words exchanged between them after the fight..and then the situation of the Gehenna Portal became escalated…

However that was still not the point he had truly given up becoming stronger than Rin.

Oh no…that moment came when the situation of Gehenna became controlled.

If one were to describe that moment as metaphor…made story…

Then it was the moment he first approached a raven haired demon with crimson eyes.

‘Will you teach me..how to become controlled and fight like you? I’ve seen how your mind functions..how it works at times..and I think..if you accept me as your pupil…I will become a worthy pupil of your teachings.’

‘And why would I ever accept a halfbreed as my student? One who is afraid of his own shadow?’

‘You’re right…but even a demon cannot reject the idea of holding sway or influence over the genetic son of Satan by blood..or do you believe yourself also to be void of pride?’

‘Touché. Very well..I will teach you…or at least endeavor to do so…however…you are medicated…but there are still places I need you to go…places far darker then where you have been..’

‘Places still darker?’

‘Indeed…places still very much darker…you have already descended into emotion..into the realm of the unconscious…’ --

And in metaphor the scene shifted to Yukio standing beside the dark frozen waters of Neptune, a crack within these waters forging as if waiting for someone..or something to plunge into the frozen void of unconscious thought.

He still wore an exorcist's uniform back then.

‘Yukio baby bro—-where are you going? Not again—-I just got you back and saw you again.’

‘Rin…I have to go some place no one else can go with me…not even you..for if you went with me…your own light would become dim..so remain here..let me become the void..for brief moment..because only when I rise Rin…then will I ever be truly strong enough not to conquer you…but to fight beside you..’

‘But Yukio…’

‘I mean it Rin…do NOT follow me.’

‘BULLSHIT! I’M GOING DOWN WITH YOU ANYWAY!’

‘No you will not, for the place I am going—-I may forget how vibrant the light can be…if it is so..wait for me Rin…because your blue flames may be the only thing in all Heaven Assiah and Gehenna that reminds me...how beautiful the light can be..’

‘Yukio…’ He was certain Rin had wept..and in that moment…Yukio dropped both his guns to the snow, his badge with the True Cross Order..and plunged into the frozen depths of Neptune.

Here..he could hurt no one else…and here..he could learn so much more then doctrine could ever teach..

[chucksonwithdukelaurent]

[Duke Laurent does not like to dwell.]

[there's no point in clinging tightly to the past; it's happened and cannot be changed. if you focus too long on what-could-have-beens, you'll stumble. it's not worth the risk.]

[—that's why he's especially irritated he can't get Luca @way2rich4this off his mind since their carnival performance and that stupid fucking kiss.]

[over the years, they haven't talked about it, whatever it really is. they've had moments that some might call romantic— but that was never the intention. it never goes anywhere. it stays buried in the dark of night, in the shadows of backstage, somewhere between Duke's ribs where no-one else can reach it. except goddamn Luca Fauntleroy, apparently. every stupid time he impulsively decides to kiss Duke when neither of them expects it.]

[it had started with a simple] "Have you ever even left the city, Luca?"

[naturally the ginger had spluttered in response— some quip about his father's money and being able to go wherever he wants, probably. Duke hadn't cared to listen, because that wasn't what he'd meant.]

[he'd noticed, since their travels began, that Luca rarely left the hotel rooms. never stepped off the train carriage until reaching their destination, no matter how alluring the different stops along the way. there is a distinction between being on a ship and taking a dip in the ocean. you can't be a traveling magician without the slightest sense of adventure.]

[so, one night, after a late arrival in yet another city— long after stiff "good-night"s and "don't be late tomorrow," Duke finds himself rapping on Luca's room door at some godawful hour. he will get this man to have fun.]

[psalm40speakstome]

Me to my usually friendly cat who was grumpy on Christmas

“You know what!? You’re feelings are valid”

[grimsley-official]

Music~ (for the ask game)

“Hmm…”

(*Grimsley is scrolling on a website that specializes in selling quality instruments. He…has been thinking about picking up some kind of instrument lately. Perhaps musical talent runs in the family…*)

(*That thought suddenly makes him pause, a frown spreading across his lips.*)

(*If his brother…half brother…was still alive maybe he would have helped him with such a thing…*)

“Arceus…” (*Grimsley mutters, abruptly standing away from his computer and walking away as he shakes his head.*)

(*He can’t think about that stuff for too long…*)

[ask-80s-rinandlen]

Len: Really gorgeous... but where are you going to put your bow?

Rin: uhhhh I don't know. Like how i normally do I guess.

December 1982: First time Len has seen her do something totally different with her hair. He really likes it.

[of-dxnger]

♦ ok i’m done sorry for the spam

Nick grabs Jude’s hair and yanks:

FLASHBACK:

Sitting on the edge of his bed, legs dangling down the side, he peered down at Jude, sitting between his legs with his back to the bed looking rather sorry for himself. With a sigh he gently collected a small bit of hair of the top of the others head, making a small snip here and there, letting his hair fall back to his head. He could hear a small wince as a few strands pulled more than others. He cut around the giant lump of pink gum that was wrapped in Jude’s hair, with a satisfied grin he quickly pulled on the gum thinking he’d cut all the hair attached. Unfortunately, he hadn’t. Yanking back on Jude’s head, Nick’s eyes quickly widened, “Fuck sorry, I missed a bit.” Gently pressing his fingers to the hair that stubbornly refused to release the gum, he cut through it before tossing the now furry gum into the trash. Doubling over he placed a small kiss atop Jude’s head, his hand giving a reassuring squeeze of his shoulder, “All done.”

[bitzsims]

Happy Thanksgiving from Bitzsoisims and the St Bree Family!!!

[jessemccowbae]

14. — bitter (satyasreality)

(( Sorry this one took so long to answer, but as you can see, it SUPER got away from me! ))

The space ofa year and a half had done wonders in getting Jesse better situated intoBlackwatch. It had been rough going for a while, but after a handful ofmissions and a few times he finally got pushed far enough to stand up forhimself in a fight, he’d earned the beginnings of acceptance from his fellowagents. And Reyes had been impressed enough with his performance to end hisprobationary period a few months early.

This was hislife now. Still kinda hard to believe sometimes.

He was nestledinto the middle of the group as they climbed the stairs to the rooftop bar ofthe Pakse Hotel. Behind Reyes and Kohlberg, with Nocella, Behrer and Meltzerbehind him. This mission had taken a lot out of all of them – not difficultwork, just a lot of it – but they’d finished up early in the morning, had mostof the day to shower and sleep and let their muscles un-knot, and now had anentire evening to kill before having to ship back to base.

Jesse heard Kohlberglet out a low whistle as they reached the roof. “Now that is damn near a view worth getting shot at for.” There were afew murmurs of agreement as the rest of them followed – the hotel was only a coupleof blocks from the Xe Don River, and the sun was setting over the lush greenlandscape on the other side, white-gold beams streaking through immaculatelyfluffy clouds over the quaint French Colonial architecture of Pakse.  The gold and green palette was a world awayfrom the watercolor desert sunsets of his youth, as much figuratively asliterally, but it was definitely a stunning view.

They all filteredover to the bar, an even split between ‘wearing black all the time because I’mtoo used to it’ and ‘wearing anything but black when I actually get the chance’(Jesse and Reyes in blue jeans and bright t-shirts, and Nocella in a white tanktop and khaki cargo shorts). Jessewasn’t paying much attention as the drink orders went in, mumbling a requestfor a double scotch on ice and resting his forehead on his hand with adeep yawn. After he’d taken his first sip, he looked up to see thebartender mixing another drink, pouring in a syrupy cherry-red liqueur anddropping an orange slice on top.

Jesse’seyebrows raised and a lazy grin crept onto his face as his commander took the glassand a slow sip of it. “Seriously, boss? Didn’t take you for the Kool-Aid type.”

Reyesstopped with the glass still to his lips, his eyes drifting silently over towardsJesse. Kohlberg snickered, but Meltzer elbowed him sharply. “Old familyfavorite,” Reyes finally replied, his voice bone dry. “My dad liked them. Usedto make one on Friday evenings after work.”

Jesse leanedback, holding up his hands. “Fine, fine, my bad. Drink what you want.”

Reyesshrugged, then after a moment, set the glass in front of Jesse. “Here, youcould stand to learn to drink like an adult.”

Jesse staredat the twinkling red concoction. “This is somehow manlier than scotch on therocks?”

“I didn’tsay man. I said adult.”

“Yeah, hardpass.” Jesse picked up his own glass again.

“Twentybucks says you can’t chug it.”

He stoppedwith the glass halfway to his mouth and looked over. Sure enough, Reyes had thebill out of his wallet already, holding it up between two fingers. Jesse stareda moment, then gave a furtive glance to Kohlberg and Meltzer behind him. Bothlooking at Reyes, both seeming a bit perplexed. No sign of a setup.

“Pass it over.”

Reyes obliged. Jesse put his scotch aside and took the commander’s glass, raising it mockingly to it before tossing it back, braced for a stronger-than-expected alcohol burn.

The bartender, apparently not paying attention, nearly jumped out of his skin at the sputtering, hacking cough that followed. Reyes silently passed him the 20 and pulled a handful of napkins from the dispenser to wipe up the mess. Jesse snatched one of them away to dramatically wipe out the inside of his mouth, then glowered at Reyes, awaiting an explanation.

“Negroni,” he offered, calmly. “Gin, vermouth, and Campari bitters.”

“No. Shit.” Jesse offered his best imperious glower -- which, granted, wasn’t much at all to offer his present company -- and picked his scotch back up.

“And today...” Reyes gestured magnanimously with the new Negroni the bartender had just made him, looking up and down the bar at the assembled agents. “We have all learned an important lesson about judging books by their covers.” He tilted his head, firing Jesse a smirk. “Much like the incredibly observant dude we met yesterday who thought those dumb fucking spurs we let McCree wear were a fashion accessory.”

A round of guffaws rippled through the group, and Jesse smothered his instinctive grin into a sly smirk. Kohlberg leaned forward to look around the rest of them down at Jesse. “Wait, you actually got one?!”

“Are you kidding?” Behrer, on Jesse’s other side, clapped him heavily on the shoulder. “Kid nearly broke the thing off in the motherfucker’s eye socket!”

Kohlberg squawked in delight, slapping the bar loudly as he cackled. Jesse closed his eyes for a moment, his smile fading into something gentle and relaxed, and went back to his drink. It was probably as much the ill-advised Negroni as the warm evening air and his crew’s continued laughing chatter, but a double scotch had never tasted quite so sweet.