they wake screaming. they wake with a sound ripping from their throat like a knife. like a blade slipped through their chest, through fabric and gustave remembers feeling it scrape against the metal of their heart, nicking and scratching at the gears and wires and maelle's face, maelle's face --
( they remember thinking oh, there's blood there. it shouldn't be there. the wide, whale-eyed terror on her face, her eyes so blue-grey in the overcast light. they remember wondering what was wrong, things were fine, the rock in their hands slipping from the grasp and landing in a wet plop in the ground. the crackle of lightning overhead. they remember, they remember -- )
they wake screaming, the word run on their lips ( blood coating their teeth, soaking their tongue, wet and terrified ) limbs flailing and untangling from sheets. they're wet, sweat-soaked and shaking, it's raining? no, can't be, they're inside. they're inside.
it's okay you're with me. a voice snaps at them, like a whip gustave turns, wild eyed towards the source and staring with a tremor wrecking their whole body, a hand to their chest as their heart struggles to keep up with the short breaths that don't reach their lungs fully. their fingers dance along the edges of chroma, blade half-formed and distorted like they can't fully hold the image of it.
"i'm --" it comes out choked, hoarse, their mouth is too wet and gustave gags even though it's tasteless and not the salt-iron of blood, the sensation is enough. their body crumbles against the wall on the far side of the room, limbs bending like paper under too much weight and curling inward to press so small against the wall. they don't know why they want to be small ( harder to find, because what if, panic stutters their chest ), head jerking to look back up at her with that terror again, seeing but not seeing.
"run, please." there's rain on their cheeks, their eyes sting, fingers pressing desperately to their chest as if it will hold in all the blood that's not gushing out of them.
To find supplies. To make a ship. To begin the slow journey to try to get home. They had the scrap, they could make it work-- the issue was the need for energy, for power, for communications, all of it.
And yet, like with many things, it was as if the universe wished to curse Optimus for his attempts to focus on himself. While today was nothing too bad-- they'd managed to keep away from Cemetery Wind AND the TRF-- it was his own processor working against him that was the issue. He'd first awoken that day to what felt like the old, warped metal on the side of his helm having flared with pain-- that was something he had gotten used to.
It was when the memories chose to haunt him during a temporary recharge period that he could never get used to.
As always, if only out of necessity, his expression was neutral if not a little bit more cold. His stoic visage hid what he'd been truly thinking, what was plaguing him, but it was when he found a palm being pressed against one of his arm plates that it made him tense-- his optics bore into the other person, becoming a somewhat darkened, dull blue in contrast to the brighter icy blue they often had.
Content: broken bones, intimate whumper, medical whump, ptsd, brief needle & drug mention.
A whumpee with broken ankles desperately crawling for the door, clawing at it uselessly after whumper has slammed it shut, sobbing and begging to be let go.
Or trying to crawl away from whumper, painfully dragging their limp, broken bones along the floor behind them.
An amused whumper sitting and watching it happen, laughing at whumpee’s pathetic attempts to get away, knowing that whenever they’ve decided their captive has gotten far enough, they can yank them back by the chain around their neck and drag them back over with ease. What’re they gonna do, fight back?
Whumpee being forced to rely on whumper for every little thing despite loathing them with every fiber of their being.
Whumper having to carry them everywhere (bridal style)
Bonus points if it’s an intimate whumper and they scoop them up and coo sweet things into whumpee’s ear all “aw, poor sweet thing, don’t worry, I’ve got you,” While whumpee sobs hopelessly into their captor’s chest, disgusted with the closeness and absolutely horrified and ashamed at how helpless they feel like this.
Or maybe whumpee tries to claw their way out of their captor’s arms, and whumper just drops them, laughing at how useless and pathetic they look when they collapse in a crying heap on the floor, unable to go anywhere without whumper’s help.
More bonus points if the bones don’t heal properly and they can never walk quite right again, or if standing or walking for too long causes sharp pains to shoot up through their ankles and they collapse from the agony.
If they ever get a recovery arc, having to get their ankles rebroken and reset to heal properly— The sensation of their ankles breaking all over again bringing back horribly traumatic flashbacks, feeling like they’re back with whumper again, that they’re being tortured again, until they’re screaming and begging and calling the doctors sir and sobbing desperately to be let go. The medical staff is horrified.
And maybe they’re writhing around and thrashing so much that they have to be restrained and sedated in order for the medical staff to reset their freshly broken bones.
A nurse jamming a needle into their neck and emptying an entire syringe into their bloodstream with an “It’s alright, sweetheart, this is for your own good.”
Whumpee in a full-scale flashback begging through tears when they feel the needle, “please, please no— please sir, please don’t, please don’t do this— I— I’ve been good— please I— I can’t—please-“ until the sedative kicks in and their head lolls to the side.
Feel free to add your own prompts/ thoughts! this trope won’t leave my head rn
wasn't sure since it didn't seem like you'd written anything in a bit and i didn't want to just put you on the spot! so we've seen wren experience panic/triggering from pre daniel trauma and daniel's reactions to that. i'd be interested to see daniel's reaction to wren getting triggered/having a panic attack/flashbacks from something daniel has done to him (whipping, breaking his fingers, stabbing through his hands)
Took me a while (what else is new), but here you go!
Wren has gone through so much pain since he was captured; torture has become just a fact in his life, something Daniel loves too much to let it go.
The regular torture methods he has gotten used to. They hurt regardless, but he's used to the sight of the whip or Daniel's favorite knife, and the way they bite into his flesh.
But then there are the others, the ones that have only happened once, in circumstances he'd rather not relive. The more time passes, the fuzzier the memories become - but the memory of the pain becomes exaggerated, and when he catches himself thinking back to it against his will, all he remembers is agony.
But all of that is behind him, hopefully. He's learned to block it from his memory - until now.
"Give me a break."
It's just a movie. They're sitting on the couch, Daniel's arm wrapped around Wren, holding him close, and they're watching a movie together. It means over an hour of relative silence between the two of them, since Wren's not in the mood for commenting on what's happening on the screen. He was relieved to hear that this was the plan for the day, that Daniel wanted to relax too.
Then he hears the words. They're just words, just that one common word that he's heard again and again here, but this is different, and it takes him back, like he's been punched in the face and sent flying backwards into the past, but then ended up here again, on the couch, in Daniel's casual embrace.
"You're breaking my heart."
His hands are trembling, fingers stiff; he's scared to move them, expecting agony accompanying a nauseating crack. He can hear it so clearly, one after another, and he can hear something else, laughter, so much laughter, Daniel's and Berkeley's, laughing at him as he sobbed into the couch, unable to resist while his fingers were getting broken one by one.
He jolts in place when someone grabs his hand, he can already feel the pain even though nothing has happened yet, tears gather in his eyes and trickle down his face, and he can barely breathe.
"No!" he cries out, wrenching his hand free and backing away, scrambling to the end of the couch, his breathing quick and shallow. Breaking echoes in his head, the word said in Berkeley's voice and the sickening sound reverberating from his fingers, which hurt so much.
"Hey."
Daniel's voice. It's different, there's genuine worry where there used to be sadistic satisfaction, and yet it's nowhere near soothing, it never is. He shakes his head, curling up, holding his hands close to his chest.
"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" Daniel frowns, moving closer and reaching towards Wren, not stopping when he flinches away.
"N-no," Wren chokes out when Daniel grabs his arm, but he can't free himself, it wouldn't change anything, he was only punished even more harshly for trying to run. "Stay away, d-don't-"
"I'm not doing anything. Did the movie remind you of something? Whatever it was, it's okay now. You're here, and you're safe with me."
"You did that to me!" Wren curls up more to protect his hands, terror only increased by hopelessness, because if Daniel really wants to repeat that torture, there's nothing that can change his mind.
"Did what?" Daniel tightens his grip on Wren's arm, looking him up and down, and realization finally seems to dawn on him when he notices the way Wren's hiding his hands from him. "Oh. You mean breaking your fingers?"
Wren shivers and doesn't respond, but Daniel doesn't seem to need his confirmation.
"Oh, sweetheart…" Wren can't back off any further and has no choice but to let Daniel pull him closer and wrap one arm around him again; Daniel doesn't let go when he feels Wren tense up, his breathing still strained. "That was ages ago, and I promise it was a one-time thing. I'll never do that to you again."
Wren exhales, doing his best to calm down, but Daniel being so close is anything but calming, and then he whimpers and tries to pull back when Daniel gently takes his hands.
"No…"
"Shh. It's okay. I won't hurt you like that again." Daniel squeezes his hands and smiles.
"You're still hurting me," Wren whispers, his voice shaky.
"I know, but there are things I won't do, again or at all. That is one of them."
And yet Wren's breath catches in his throat when Daniel takes hold of his fingers and curls them slightly.
"Relax, sweetheart. I won't do anything."
"Then let go."
"Just trust me." Daniel leans his head against Wren's. "We'll finish the movie some other time, okay? Or we can watch something else. For now just try to calm down."
It's hard when Daniel continues playing with Wren's fingers, squeezing his hands from time to time, knowing well that it’s counterproductive to his goal of making Wren calm down, but choosing to do it anyway. Not hurting him, just reminding him that he can, at any moment, whenever he pleases, while Wren can do nothing but follow his suggestion and do his best not to reminisce about that nightmare any longer.
for every "🌹" received in my inbox i'll post one random sentence of a random WIP i'm currently writing tw: flashbacks
“No!” Satine screams, chest heaving, burying her face in her knees, trying to curl herself into a ball, to make herself as small as possible. “Please don’t make me,” she sobs, “I don’t want to, I don’t want to!”
“Satine,” the other person says, voice catching on a sob of their own that she doesn’t understand, “you’re safe. [...]"
Written for @drarrymicrofic’s prompt “Seven” by Taylor Swift - 7/22/22
Thank you for the beta @phoebe-delia!! <3
TW for childhood abuse and flashbacks
A car door slams outside.
Harry crawls to the closet, eyes squeezed shut, lungs deflated. He smells Vernon’s musty aftershave and Petunia’s honey shampoo, even after all these years. Remembers hands on his neck as he’s shoved away.
He cries quietly in the closet so no one finds him.
After what happened yesterday, Cordell wasn’t going to wait around for a rescue anymore. Seeing what they did to Cassie only proved to him that these guys weren’t playing around. They were going to break him or kill Cassie trying and he couldn’t let that happen.
“We’re getting out of here today,” he said quietly after their breakfast was delivered.
Cassie paused in her struggle to reach her MRE without agitating her broken ribs. “We are? How?”
Cordell got it for her, opening it as he handed it to her. “I’ve got a plan. I’m gonna need you to play along with me on this one.”
Cassie nodded and nibbled on her “meal”. “What’s the plan, partner?”
Cordell sighed. “You’re not gonna like it but… I’m gonna need you to play damsel in distress.”
She rolled her eyes. “If it gets us out of here, I think I’ll manage. What do you need me to do?”
At least she wasn’t complaining about it. “I need you to act like you’re really hurt. I”ll call the guards in and tell them they need to help you or I’ll never comply. Once they’re in, I think we can overpower them and get the keys and rescue ourselves and Julia.”
Cassie nodded. “Gotcha. I think I can handle that. Did I ever tell you I was a theater kid?”
Cordell chuckled. “No, but I’m sure that’ll come in handy.”
He waited until after they’d both eaten. He’d started to lose track of time during their captivity, but he knew they had a little time to prepare themselves before the guards would show up for their “fun”.
“Alright, just lay still and act really pitiful,” he said once they were both ready.
She rolled her eyes but complied. “Ready when you are, Walker.”
He winked at her and started yelling for help, hoping someone was wandering around close enough to hear it. As soon as someone answered his calls, he launched into the play. “She’s not breathing right! I don’t know what the hell you did to her but if she dies, you may as well kill me too because I’m not joining your little anarchy LARP.” He tried not to think too hard about how easy that rolled off his tongue. He also tried not to think too hard about how Cassie’s exaggerated coughs tugged at his heart.
With the men distracted by Cassie, Cordell made his move, tackling the one closest to the door and knocking him out against the metal bars. Cassie then kicked up, knocking back one of the other two guys. Cordell stopped the third from grabbing her and held him in a chokehold. “Where’s Julia?” he hissed. “The woman that was above us, where did you move her?”
“First floor, cell 3,” he wheezed as he ran out of air.
Cordell didn’t let him go until he was completely out and he looked up to see Cassie unlocking herself from her leash. “Got the keys,” she said, brandishing the key ring as she stood up. “Let’s go.”
Cordell nodded and grabbed a spare pistol and a phone off of one of the unconscious men. “Let’s do this.”
They moved through the labyrinth of halls quickly. Almost too quickly. There was no one around the halls to slow them down. Normally Cordell would be suspicious but he wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth.
They made it to Julia’s new cell and he quickly unlocked the door, almost getting a fist to the face for his trouble. Luckily, Julia recognized their voices and they were back in business. They stealthily made their way to an exit and were about to leave- until an alarm sounded for their escape.
They hid behind some boxes while guards ran back to their abandoned cell. Once it was clear, Cordell was ready to lead the charge out of there- until he saw the symbol on the boxes he was crouching behind. He’d seen that symbol before in his Marine days- he couldn’t let these maniacs use what was inside them.
“Cassie, you’ve gotta get Julia out of here,” he said once they reached the door.
Cassie stared at him with wide, confused eyes. “What? What about you?”
“I’ve gotta take care of what’s in those boxes. I know what it is, it’s nasty stuff.”
“I’ll help-”
“No, Cass. You need to go.” He handed her the phone. “Call James once you’re a safe distance away. I’ll catch up.”
Cassie took the phone. “Good luck. We’ll be back for you, partner.”
Cordell nodded. “I know.”
With that, they parted ways.
Running into Sean on his way to hide the dangerous chemicals in the radiation wing was unexpected. So was the grenade Sean pulled out after Cordell shot him in the shoulder.
Cordell didn’t really remember how he made it out. He just remembered that it didn’t really matter once he had his eyes on Cassie again.
They were alive. They were okay.
Everything was gonna be okay.
—----
They were free. The nightmare was over.
She fidgeted in her loose hoodie while she waited in the atrium. She’d already given her statement and was waiting for Ben to pick her up and take her home. But first, she wanted to talk to Walker.
She didn’t even know where to begin on recovering from this. Her injuries would heal, the bruises would fade, but she wasn’t sure when she’d stop seeing that cage every time she closed her eyes.
If anyone would have answers, it would be Walker. He’d been through things like this before. Or, at least, similar things. He’d know how to answer questions she wasn’t sure she could bring herself to ask her new mandated therapist.
“Hey, Cassie.” Speak of the devil, Walker stepped in and walked up to her table. “You need a ride?”
“Uh, no. Ben’s coming to pick me up. But actually, I wanted to talk to you.”
“Uh, sure. About what?”
Cassie took a deep breath and tried to get her thoughts in order. “I…. You’ve dealt with stuff like this before. I mean, probably not exactly this but given your history…. You know how to deal with it, right?”
Walker nodded. “Yeah. Why?”
“....How do you deal with it? Because I’m not really sure what to do. It’s like every time I close my eyes-”
“Cass- Cassie.” Walker pet her shoulder and smiled tightly. “We- We don’t need to unload all that right now. We’re out, there’s arrests being made across the state. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but we’re okay. And after some time… you’ll feel okay. We just gotta keep going, alright? The only way out is through.”
That was…underwhelming advice. She’d been hoping for something a little more actionable. “I… If you say so….”
“Cassie!” Ben’s sudden arrival and crushing hug stopped her from pushing the issue further. She returned the hug just as tight. Part of her wanted to make a joke about missing Ben too but it got caught in her throat. “Thank god you’re back,” he murmured.
“Yeah,” was all she could say.
Ben pulled back just enough to Help her out of her chair. “Thanks for waiting with her,” he told Walker. “I’m just gonna take Cassie home now.”
“Actually, I wanted to ask y’all if you wanted to come to the ranch. Mama’s making a roast and I know the rest of the family would be happy to see you.”
Ben looked at her and Cassie tried not to look back. “I don’t know,” he said. “It’s late and I think Cassie just needs some rest. Maybe we can come over tomorrow?”
Walker smiled the way he usually smiled at members of the DPS brass he didn’t like “What? And waste a perfectly good welcome home party? Come on, it’ll be fun. Why wait to start things off on a good note?”
“That’s a kind offer, really,” Ben said, smiling the same smile he gave to demanding customers. “But I think-”
“I think it sounds great,” Cassie interjected. “I love a good roast.”
Walker smiled a little more genuinely. “Great! I’ll let everyone know. It’ll be great having you there.”
To his credit, Ben stayed quiet about his disagreement until they were in his car. But then….
“You know you don’t have to go if you don’t want to, right? We can just let them have their little family thing and I’ll just take you back to my place. I can just text Liam-”
“It’s fine, Ben.” Cassie tried to smile. “He’s right. Why wait to take things in the right direction? I’m sure I’ll feel better once I’ve eaten real food.”
“I have real food at my place.”
“But they’re expecting-”
“Cas, stop.” Ben sighed. “I know you don’t actually want to go to this thing, okay? I knew as soon as he brought it up. You’re gonna be miserable the whole time because people are going to be asking you how you are and you’re going to worry about slipping up and telling the truth and you’re probably not even going to be able to eat whatever they put on your plate. Just let me make an excuse for you and take you home? You’ll feel better, I promise.”
She shook her head. “Ben, I- It’s not about me pretending and failing. I know I’m not fine and they won’t expect me to be. I just…. I don’t know how to deal with this except to just push through it. It’s not like I’ll feel any better in the morning if I don’t go.”
Ben sighed. “Fine. But we’re leaving as soon as it’s over. Because you are tired and they have no excuse to keep us there longer.”
“Fine,” she agreed. “Just try not to be too ‘overprotective brother’ about it, okay? They’re not the bad guys here.”
“Sure.”
That was as good as she was going to get out of him and she wasn’t going to push it.
Though, as soon as they arrived, Cassie wondered if maybe she should’ve. It would’ve given her an excuse not to go in.
Even though she’d accepted the invitation and really did need a distraction from everything, she wasn’t sure she was ready for something like this. The Walker family had a tendency to be intense on a good day and it only got worse when emotions were high. It was only the thought of having to deal with Walker’s worried texts for the rest of the night if she didn’t show that made her walk through the front door.
In all honesty, it could’ve gone worse. There was too much worried hovering and Walker’s disaster of a “graduation speech” didn’t exactly set things off on a good note. But Abeline’s food was as good as ever and no one seemed to want to talk about the elephant in the room.
All in all, she’d had worse family dinners.
After they left, Ben drove her back to his apartment because it was closer. “I’ll take you back to your place in the morning,” he said. “Why don’t you grab a shower and I’ll make some sleepytime tea?”
Cassie smiled. “Sounds like a plan,” she said as she headed toward the bathroom. With the door closed behind her, Cassie got undressed after she started the water. Once she was ready, she put her hand in to test the temperature.
The cold water beat down on her arm and she jerked back, hitting the wall with a cry.
Cold. Cold. Waves and waves of cold. Choking. I can't breathe. They’re laughing. They’re enjoying this.
I’m going to die here.
“-ssie? Cassie?!”
Cassie flinched away from the voice, throwing off the hands that were shaking her shoulders. It took her a few moments to calm down and remember where she was, who she was with.
“You okay?” Ben asked softly.
Cassie shook her head. “I can’t- The shower, I can’t-”
“Hey, hey, it’s okay….” Ben rubbed her back and turned off the water. “How about I just run you a bath, hm? I think I have bubbles somewhere if you want them.”
Cassie nodded, not moving from her spot on the floor until he finished.
Me: ugh god why am I getting so much worse?? I'm BACKSLIDING, I had been growing less sensitive to my triggers over time BUT NOW they're getting worse and worse and I keep having flashbacks and snapping at people!!! This is awful this makes no sense it is NOT POGGERS and my sensory issues are worse too!! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO MEEE
Our body, which has been steadily falling apart over the last few months (yes, months, plural) with even surgeries resulting in zero diagnosis, and symptoms worsening day by day: gee man that's so odd. Yeah crazy how that happens.
