I Am No Mother, I Am No Bride, I Am King
Oh my god chapter 15 already?? FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF this definitely doesnt mean mega angst will be coming no sir
Chapter 15: Losing My Mind, Drunk On Jazz And Wine, That's What Love Will Do To You
Pairing: Robert Zussman/OFC
Tags: 18+ Minors DNI, Explicit Language, Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Period Typical Attitudes, Historical References, Historical Inaccuracy, War, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Medical Inaccuracies, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Fluff, Friendship, Period-Typical Sexism, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Period-Typical Racism, Period-Typical Homophobia, Feminist Themes, Queer Themes, Survivor Guilt, Self-Esteem Issues, Blood and Gore, Graphic Description of Corpses, Protective Robert Zussman, Trauma, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Choking, Buried Alive, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Denial of Feelings, Misunderstandings, Yearning, Mutual Pining, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, no beta we die like, well you know, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks
Summary: After a reprimand from up high over recent events, Eve tries to boost morale before their next mission. Zuss makes a move.
Snippet under the cut, for maximum fluff ull need to click the link in the chapter title above ;)
“I’m worried about Red.”
Robbie’s hands pause on her calf for a second before continuing wiping dried blood away. The graze is small enough she won’t bother Clifton, but the angle is too strained for Eve to do herself, so she’s asked Robbie to look at it for her. Normally, that would be fine, except with every brush of his fingers against her skin, her heart does a flip and she needs to remind herself to keep breathing.
“Why?”
“Did you see him earlier? The look on his face, when the truck was leaving…and when we were goin’ for Anna, he froze up, kept starin’ at Luna.”
The dog perks up, starting to recognize the name Eve’s been using. Robbie sighs, wrapping a bandage tight around Eve’s calf.
“I told you he doesn’t like dogs.”
Eve hums. Robbie definitely knows more that he’s not sharing. She can’t be mad, he’s just being a good friend to Red.
“He also got a letter from Hazel a few days back. College and Aiello think it’s a Dear John letter, she wrote his full name, no nickname.”
“No way.” Robbie lifts his head to grin at Eve’s disbelief. “The two of them are - hell, it’s sickening, how in love they are. I don’t believe it for a second.”
“I don’t think she’s cutting him loose, either,” Robbie agrees. “Still, Daniels hasn’t opened it yet.”
Another hum. “How can he not open it? I mean, yeah, bad news, I understand that, but the not knowing would eat me alive.”
She had put off reading her ma’s letter by max five minutes, unable to leave it go. How can Red leave his letter for days now? She’s all for the outta sight, outta mind style of thinking, but not for things like this.
Robbie laughs. “Don’t get any ideas. Opening someone else’s mail is a felony, angel.”
She pouts. “Yeah, yeah.”
The dog groans as she stands from the floor, padding up to the cot and jumping up, curling around Eve. She absent-mindedly starts petting her, and the dog lays her head on Eve’s leg, sighing.
“You still callin’ her Luna?” Robbie asks, starting to tie off the bandage.
“Yeah. You still callin’ her Lucky Strike?”
A grin. “Yep.”
“Why? I know they’re your favorite to smoke, but that can’t be it.”
“I don’t know, it was a lucky strike, I guess. The fact she didn’t get hurt too bad in that explosion, that we found her and freed her. Just seems lucky.”
Eve hums, nodding her head.
“Why do you call her Luna?”
Finished, he doesn’t move, still kneeling in front of Eve. He lifts his head, eyes focused on Eve, face earnest and waiting for her response. Her eyes flicker down to focus on the dog, not knowing how to handle being the center of his attention.
“I like the moon. And there’s this song I like, ‘Clair de Lune’, and it’s just so pretty. I think it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. Guess I just wanted to name her after something pretty.”
“‘Clair de Lune’,” Robbie repeats, quiet, and Eve glances back over to him. A small smile greets her and her heart swells. He looks at her with such open affection, could it be that…?
No, don’t be silly. He’s just nice, she’s reading too much into everything, projecting her own feelings. He doesn’t feel the same way she feels about him. No way.
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“Hey, Red, how ya doin’?”
Eve’s found him by himself in the tent, and she’s going to try and use the time to check in on him, make sure he’s okay. Part of it is because she’s concerned as his friend, but another part of it is because she’s worried about him becoming a liability in the field.
Red’s glance up at her is skeptical. She must not be as casual as she had been trying to be. Oh well.
“Can I be honest with you?” she starts, walking in and sitting next to him on his cot. He rubs a hand over his eyes, sighing heavily but nodding.
“I’m worried about you, bud. You didn’t look so hot out there today.”
Red leans forward, elbows on his knees and head in his hands.
“Sorry,” he mutters, muffled.
“Shit, don’t apologize. I’m just…I’m worried, Red. Don’t want something to happen to you because something’s wrong. If I can, I’ll fix it. Or we can fix it together.”
Red’s silent for a long while. Eve waits, fingers interlocked and flexing against each other.
“I’ve told you ‘bout Paul before, right? My brother?”
“Yeah.”
“He’s dead.” Red’s voice is blunt, but there’s a tiny tremor underneath his words. “Died when I was a kid.”
“I’m sorry, Red.”
Eve’s had her suspicions. Nothing concrete, just the way Red talks about his older brother, the past tense, only ever writing to Paul in his notebook and never sending or receiving letters.
“It was…” Red trails off with a little, shaking inhale. “We were out huntin’ wolves. They had been killin’ our cattle. Weren’t ready, wolf got on top of Paul, and I couldn’t…I couldn’t…”
“Shit.” Eve places a hand on Red’s shoulder, not knowing what to say. Robbie was really putting it mildly, then, saying Red doesn’t like dogs. Damn, and a double whammy. Having to see Luna in her element and watching Anna lose her sister? No wonder he was in that trance. Two kids, having to watch their older siblings die in front of them, years and worlds apart but experiencing damn near the same thing.
“Red, you’re my friend,” she says. “One of my best friends out here. One word, and the dog’s gone. I’m serious.”
Red sits up and Eve removes her hand, meeting his baby blues as he faces her.
“O’Shea, you love that damn dog,” he says.
“Yeah, and I love you, ya big oaf.” She links her arm in his, resting against his side. “If the dog brings up bad memories, messes you up, I’ll send her off to the back. Outta sight, outta mind.”
She’ll miss her, of course she will, but she’d do it in a heartbeat if it means Red feeling safe.
“You really would, wouldn’t you?” Red asks softly, eyes flickering across her face.
“I’d do anything for you boys,” she responds easily. Red huffs, shaking his head.
“Wish Pierson’d be more like that,” he mutters, scuffing his boot on the ground. Annoyance flickers like a flame in her chest and Eve pinches his arm, making him yelp. If only Red fuckin’ knew…
“I’m trying to be very nice to you right now,” Eve says. “Please don’t insult my friend like that.”
Red’s face twists but he holds himself back, thank God. Another sigh.
“You don’t have to get rid of the dog.”
“Red, I’m serious-“
“I know you are, and ‘m tellin’ you it’s alright. Honest.”
Eve hesitates, unsure if this is one of those times she should keep insisting or just take Red at his word. He must see this because he shifts, shoving her shoulder with his.
“Keep the damn dog, O’Shea,” he repeats.
“Okay, okay! I got it.” Eve waits, breathes in and then out. “So, I heard you got a letter from Hazel that you ain’t opened yet.”
Red groans, leaning away from her but she keeps them connected through their arms, grinning at his drama.
“C’mon, Red, just open the thing!”
“I will!” he snaps. “It’s my business, y’all need to keep your noses outta it!”
Eve lets go of him, hands held up. “You got it, pal. Won’t say another word about it.”
She mimes zipping her mouth shut.
“You’ve been spendin’ too much time with Zuss,” Red accuses, glaring at her. She shrugs.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I liked you better before you were snarky. Maybe makin’ the two of you friends was a mistake.”
“Hey, don’t credit him with my sass, I didn’t get it from him.”
“Well, your sass’s definitely worse when the two of ya are together. Same for him. ‘Nd the two of you won’t ever leave me alone.”
“That’s because we care about you, Red.” She leans over to pinch his cheek but he swats her hand away before she can. “We’ll take a knife in the gut for you, give up a new dog for you, it’s up in the air which one of those is worse.”
Red shakes his head but he’s laughing, shoulders shaking as he tries to suppress his laughter.
“Don’t know if Zuss’ll agree with you,” he gets out, and Eve grins.
“I don’t know, man, I think he was just bein’ dramatic.”
“I’m tellin’ him you said that.”
“Don’t, I’ll have to deal with his bellyachin’ for who knows how long.”
“Aw, we both know you love him.”
Eve nearly chokes. No, he doesn’t mean it like that, he just means in general, like how she just said she loves Red. He definitely doesn’t mean that she loves him. Definitely not. Only Nora knows that, right? Right?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I can’t stand him, with his stupid face and his stupid voice and…”
She wiggles her fingers vaguely in the air and Red outright laughs now.
“Sure, O’Shea,” he says around chuckles, and Eve narrows her eyes at him. Before she can respond, the flap of the tent flies open and who should enter but the man of the hour himself, grinning that stupid cocky grin of his.
“You mooks havin’ fun without me?”
“Aw, party’s over.”
Robbie clutches a hand to his chest. “You wound me, angel. I’m the life of the party! Scooch!”
He shoves both of them aside and plops himself in between them, linking arms with them. There’s barely any room for all three of them and Eve nearly flushes with how she and Robbie are pressed together.
“So,” he whispers, eyes gleaming, “what are we gossiping about? We tellin’ secrets? Did Daniels read Hazel’s letter and it’s actually good news and he was freakin’ out over-”
Robbie yelps as Red shoves him off the cot. Unfortunately for both Eve and Red, Robbie only tightens his grip on their arms and they both get dragged off with him. Robbie groans as Eve lands roughly on his back, and then they both gasp, air driven out of their lungs as Red lands on both of them, all three of them a tangled heap on the ground.
“Get offa me!” Robbie wheezes out. His elbow digs into Eve’s side and she whines, shoving at the back of his head, still trying to catch her breath.
“That’s what you get-”
Red is muttering, even though he is slowly removing himself from the top of the pile. Eve groans and rolls herself forward in a somersault, sprawling across the ground once she’s free. Robbie flips himself over so he’s on his back now, dramatically catching his breath.
“Didn’t realize you had to weigh the same as the damn cattle you raise, farmboy,” he says, glaring at the Texan.
“I’ll sit on you again,” comes the ominous warning from Red.
“Angel, help me-”
“Oh, no, you did this all yourself, you keep me outta this. Think I bruised a rib, Christ.”
The tent flap opens again, this time Aiello and Stiles walking in and stopping short at the sight of the others. Eve picks her head up, gives a two-fingered salute.
“I don’t even wanna know,” Aiello mutters, shaking his head and heading toward his own cot.
“I thought you were better than this,” Stiles laments, standing by Eve’s head. Eve glances at Zuss next to her, grins at the spark in his eye.
“Oh yeah?” she asks, and then her and Robbie both lunge, grabbing at Stiles’ arms and dragging him to the ground. Red laughs as Stiles sputters, crying out when his glasses get knocked off in his fall. Robbie’s draped over Stiles’ back, yapping about him loosening up or something, and Eve’s giggling as she picks up the man’s fallen spectacles.
“A bunch of fuckin’ children,” Aiello grumbles. Still hanging off Stiles, Robbie whips around to point at the New Yorker.
“Keep talkin’, asshole, and I’ll have Daniels sit on you,” he threatens, and Eve doubles over with laughter, clutching her stomach at the terrified look on Aiello’s face.
