Character deaths being permanent, not for any great cause, and, most importantly, without any heavenly afterlife to live afterward, is such a personal thing to me. They're gone. Never coming back in any way, shape, or form. The world is one person emptier without them, and their loved ones must grow around the hole they left. They can't cling to the idea that the deceased is waiting for them or in a better place. That person is truly, irreversibly, dead. A wound that scars everyone who loved them. A scar that shapes them, guides them, and ultimately lives with them until it is just part of their skin alongside the nicks and pockmarks of life.
Aw I just got a sick idea for my oc story! Better write it down- *makes myself sad* *makes myself sad* *makes myself sad* *makes myself sad* *makes myself sad* *makes myself-
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(Artwork by @pe-ersona ~ Feel free to let me know if you enjoy the story!)
The forest grew more dense the further they walked in. Moss grew on rocks, branches swayed above them, and leaves and flowers littered the ground. A dirt path worn into the ground by previous travellers was nowhere to be seen, as if they were the first people to enter this forest. Pepi looked at Renato. The rope still bound them at the wrist, unable be cut it apart without magic.
Renato looked like he'd seen better days. His middle parted, dark brown hair had grass stuck in it, mud covered his favourite navy blue cloak, and he had a bruised eye that seemed to throb with every step they took. Renato tightened his lips, rubbing his wrist where the rope hung.
Pepi overheard some of the conversation between Renato and Helaine that morning. From what he understood: Renato felt like Pepi wasn't telling the whole truth. Which - if you remember a certain cousin Rupert from Chapter 3 - was true. Though Renato wasn't honest either. He hadn't said a word about his injuries, as usual.
Pepi patted him on the back. "How're you feeling? It's not even afternoon and we've already had quite a day, huh?"
Renato perked his head up, a glisten of interest within his tired eyes. "I'm alright, how are you?" Pepi rolled his eyes at the automatic response.
"We've lost our wagon. You won't be able to rest if you become weak. Might I remind you you're ill? Do you want me to carry your bag?"
"Oh, uh," Renato stammered, fumbling with the bag straps on his shoulders. "No need, I can carry it." His eyes wandered to Pepi's with a question in them, but he blinked it away. "I'm tired," Renato admitted.
"We went to bed late last night."
Renato furrowed his brow. "It's not… It's a different type of tired. I don't think you'd understand."
Glancing down at his own black boots as they trode on wildflowers and grass, Pepi combed his fingers through his hair. "The kind of tired where you feel as though you're dragging the entire world on your shoulders, and it's heavier with every step you take. Something like that?"
"… Something like that, yes." Renato fiddled with the clasp of his cloak.
The trees had become so dense that they had to walk in a single file line. Birds sang no songs. No deer or rabbits or foxes strolled around. Even the breeze had silenced and the trees now showed no movement. Their footsteps seemed to make no sound either. Pepi bit his bottom lip, heart beginning to race, and his breathing hitched. He scrambled into his backpack with shaking fingers, pulling out two small loaves of bread.
"Let's eat! We- we skipped breakfast and boooy am I hungry after all that running!" He stuffed some into his mouth and passed the other to Renato.
Renato took the bread from Pepi with his free hand and tutted. "Pepi, I know you love the sound of your own voice. However, it's possible to have a period of silent tranquillity." He nibbled into the crust.
Looking around for any sound, movement, any life at all in the forest, Pepi's heart beat a little harder. "D-dont you find it s-strange that it's this quiet?" He wiped the sweat off his brow. "To be honest, I… I can't stand being in a place with no noise. It really scares me."
"Oh. I like the quiet. I don't understand what's frightening you. We can talk though. I might space out but I'll do me best to distract you."
"Finally, Renato the Entertainer. That's all I've ever wanted."
"If you want entertainment, I can tell you stories. Me mam says I get me storytelling skills from me dad. I like reading about folklore and history," Renato spoke softly. "You know, I enjoyed getting to know Kater and Helaine. Hearing about their lives was like listening to tales from history books. Less extravagant, but still interesting."
"I guess so, yeah. Save your stories for when we're at a campfire and there're others who can listen. Most people never learn to read and I bet they'd love to hear them."
"True. Helaine was also telling me about Spirit's Eve. It sounded fascinating. People hung up decorations, they were playing games, dressing up… She also told me about holidays. Where you celebrate. Have a feast Take a day off. I'd like to bring that to Llantry."
"Ah I noticed, though I thought it wasn't the right time of year. Don't you get time off to be with your friends?"
"No. We work then go home. It's difficult to have friends in Llantry. You know what everyone in town's doing, because it's the same thing they've always done. There's never any need to make small talk. We're all like an old married couple, where they sit side by side all day without saying a word."
Pepi still knew of their eerie surroundings, however, Renato's voice calmed him. "This journey's quite the break of routine, then isn't it?"
"I've never left Llantry before, so yes."
The more Renato spoke, the more guilty Pepi felt. Renato was tired yet he saw to Pepi's needs without question. As expected of a healer and leader. The guilt doubled. Why should Renato comfort him when he got nothing in return? Renato earned Pepi's respect and gratitude but even then it wasn't a fair exchange. There were certain things Pepi felt too afraid to share about himself. But if Renato wanted the truth from him, for him to open up: it was the least he could do. If only a little.
"Did I ever tell you I come from a massive family?" Pepi asked.
Renato looked upwards in thought. "Don't think you have."
"I have way too many cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. We're close to our extended family. Plus there's my nieces, nephews, brother, and sisters…"
"I'm surprised you have enough air in your lungs to list all those relatives!" Renato gave a small smile. "What's their names? How old are they? Are your siblings candy merchants too?"
Pepi chuckled, feeling a small weight lift off his chest at Renato's brightening expression. Then it fell right back where it left as it dawned on Pepi how much he'd been shutting Renato out. He answered Renato's questions, gushing over his youngest niece's first words, his brother's banter, and his uncle's farm.
"If it isn't obvious already, Uncle Wylas is my favourite uncle. I liked to run over to his place when I wanted to skip out on cleaning duty and get away from the house. He made a chicken coop that looked like a ship and we gave the chickens pirate names. One time we got an artist to draw Blackbeard, a chicken who just had to get the most corn in the mornings, wearing an eye-patch." He showed it to Renato.
They came across a clearing, with a river in the middle that had small waterfalls streaming into it. Pepi revelled in the sound. The area seemed to sparkle, with glowing yellow bugs sitting on long strands of grass, and luminescent butterflies flitting from flower to flower. Pepi and Renato sat on the riverbank, finishing the last of their bread. Pepi noticed Renato gazing at a flower beside him that looked like a wild daisy with red petals. Renato picked it with his free hand, bringing it to his nose to smell. The petals closed, reopening with a burst as smoky gas covered Renato's face. Pepi laughed as Renato coughed.
"That's what you get for picking a flower!" Pepi commented, taking the flower to put into his pocket.
Pepi took his boots off to dip his feet into the river, watching as colourful reeds drifted around his ankles. Renato lay down with a sigh.
"Do trees know where their next arm's going to come from?" Renato asked. "A tree starts growing a branch. It doesn't mind this new arm. It says, 'Hell yeah man, I got another arm so I can get more sunlight and live life!'"
"I don't know," Pepi replied. "You've got me thinking now. Do you have any other thoughts about trees?"
Renato dragged Pepi over to a low hanging tree branch, giggling as the leaves brushed over his head and fell to the ground. "It's petting me," he laughed. "Pet sounds like Pep. Pep-pep-pepepepep."
"By Lidion," Renato gasped. "What if people's hair was like tree roots? And people absorbed food and water through their hair? A moment ago y-you could've been sipping water from that river with your hairy legs!"
"You're being more amusing than usual." Pepi picked the leaves out of Renato's hair. "It worries me."
"Believe it or not I've a wealth of humour, I'm just very cheap." Renato pulled Pepi down as he lay face down and groaned. "Me head feels like it's buzzing." Renato clutched his head and smiled as though he couldn't force his muscles to frown. "Am I flying? Why is the grass so sharp?"
A rustling nearby made Pepi sit up in full alert. He peered around them. Finlay flew out his pocket pulsing yellow, but he was still concerned. Pepi put his boots back on.
"Who's there?"
Renato yawned. "Probably just an animal."
Standing in front of Renato, Pepi shook his head. "I haven't seen a single animal."
From a bush appeared small humanoid creatures.
"Fairies!" Renato gasped.
The fairies ran as fast as their little legs could carry them, shouting in high-pitched voices. "It's the human, he came back! Quick, get his instrument!" A few fairies darted back to the bush and returned with a string instrument that Pepi recognised.
"My lyre! I thought I lost it… But how did you- why do you-"
"Do you just know everyone everywhere, Pep?" Renato pulled at Pepi's trouser leg.
"Uh, no, it's more like they all know me and I haven't the foggiest idea why they do." Pepi picked up the lyre and inspected it. It really was the one he'd lost, with the exact same wonky engraving of his name, the same scratches. He put it into his bag.
"Cast us a spell, human!" The fairies climbed onto Renato, poking Pepi in the leg. "We want to see you do the pretty lights again!"
"What are you talking about? I can't do magic," Pepi told them.
"The human doesn't know! Doesn't remember! Niklam erased his memory!" The fairies tittered. "What a trickster!"
Pepi brushed the fairies off his leg, who fell onto Renato's chest. "Wait, who's Niklam?"
The fairies ignored him, choosing to fly over to the flowers instead. The flowers were about the same size as them, and the fairies pulled at the petals, shoving their faces into the flower head, laughing when the petals closed over their heads and gas covered their faces.
Pepi rummaged in his bag with one hand then took out the job hiring poster from two months ago, showing it to the fairies. "Is Niklam the one who gave me this? Who are they?"
However, like Renato, the fairies were too busy being silly to notice him. Some attempted to fly but stumbled in their takeoff and fell down, laughing hysterically. Pepi put the poster away and groaned.
"They're so cuuute!" Renato laughed with them as some fairies made tiny braids in his hair.
Other fairies noticed the rope tying the two humans together and snapped it apart using a flame spell that singed Pepi's wrist.
"Ow! A simple magic knife would've cut it just fine."
A fairy wearing shorts and a garland of Autumn leaves flew clumsily up to Pepi's face. "Shay tanks to us! We helped yuh. Yuh should looshen up a liddle." The fairy raised their palms, shooting a spell in Pepi's face.
Pepi jumped up and began playing the lyre, then danced to his own music against his will.
"Oh no," Renato sat up, leaning on his elbows. "They used a charm spell on you!" His head fell back down and he laughed, causing the fairies dancing on his stomach to stumble.
Normally, Pepi loved playing music; in fact, he wanted to be a travelling minstrel one day. But something was wrong with Renato and Pepi had a spell cast on him that neither of them could reverse without magic. He'd been correct to be on edge the moment they stepped into this forest! Pepi tore the lyre from his own hands and stuffed it into his bag. A fairy shot another spell at him, forcing Pepi to sing as he continued dancing.
"Shoo little flies and get off my knight or you'll be in for a nasty surprise!" Pepi swatted the fairies off of Renato, who fired spells at Pepi that missed by a long shot. "Renato, we need to be on our way since we've got places to go and shouldn't stay!" Pepi sang and pulled a dizzy Renato up to his feet, jerking Renato because of his jig.
The fairies suddenly screamed and flew away into the forest upon seeing something. There was a crack of thunder. Pepi looked at the fairies’ line of sight and cried out in joy upon seeing a large black horse jumping down the waterfall and into the river. Finlay flew out of Pepi's pocket and hit him in the face, but Pepi ignored it and shoved Finlay back into his pocket.
"We're saved, we are! By a horse of the night, which can take us far until these fairies are out of sight!"
The horse stopped in the river, staring at Pepi with glowing white eyes, as water dripped down its massive mane that looked like a bundle of riverweed. For a second, Pepi thought back to his encounter with the dragon in Llantry, how it locked eyes with Pepi like this horse did. Rearing its head back, the horse let out a harsh neigh of chilling laughter. Then, galloping out of the river, it stood high above Pepi and Renato.
"That's a bad horsey…" Renato mumbled, holding onto Pepi's shoulder for support in standing while his mind spun.
"We need to break the spell or I'll dance forever and you'll never be well!" Pepi found a big rock to climb on, to make jumping onto the horse's back easier, and guided Renato up. Renato swung his legs over its back, slumping forward onto the mane as he complained about the smell.
"Let's go to the nearest town, hold on tight or you'll fall down!" Pepi warbled, grabbing their bags, and sat behind Renato on the horse while his legs bounced up and down like they had a mind of their own.
They rode out of the forest and time started again. Birds tweeted in bushes, the rain hammered down, and thunder rolled in the distance. The horse wailed. That's such a Mood, Pepi thought.
trying to create a clumsy character, but I’m not sure if I’m accidentally being ableist and copying stuff I’ve seen on TV? the main idea is that Colban has difficulty helping people despite his best efforts. he accepts his clumsy trait and adapts to it rather than getting upset he’s like that.
one idea I had was that he’s blind in one eye (possibly not aware of it?) and can’t see some of the things he’s walking into, then he gets a guide dog to cover his blind spot and help him out. but I don’t want his disability to be the butt of a joke where it’s like “haha he bumps into stuff because he’s half blind”.
my other idea was that he’s always daydreaming about where he wants to be and walks into stuff, but that might make it sound like he has ADHD and it’s turning him into the “ooh squirrel” stereotype.
or he blows stuff up without meaning to and gets a job that needs him to do just that?
If anyone has experiences, ideas, or advice I’d be happy to hear it
Moments ago he’d been fearing for his life, about to cast an ice spell from the tip of his blade against his enemy. But instead he wondered: why did dragons breathe fire? They were just fat, enchanted lizards. Magic made little sense sometimes.
Chapter One is up on Wattpad!
https://awkwardplantwrites.tumblr.com/fmchapters for it on tumblr!
