#fml]

[owlgams]

I'm destroyed. ✌️😔🤙

[fuckonami]

Security Units have morning routines too.

[garaks-padded-cell]

Eating cereal. Cat just walked up to the open pint of milk and sneezed directly into the opening. Walked away.

[secretdoors14]

i either talk too much or too little there's no in between

[teaboot]

"Upper management offered all staff at home office a free bean burrito lunch on the same day a pipe burst and rendered every single toilet in the building inoperable" sounds like a B-plot in an episode of "The Office", however this is the actual life I am living in right now in real time, proving once again that we are all Jim in God's eternal binge watch

[akiwidarling]

When your reading the juiciest, most beautifully written fic on tumblr that has you invested and then reader ruins it and says the goofiest, corniest, most unhinged sentence ever to exist that makes you rethink your life choices (and reading the fic)🥀😭:

[crumpet099]

When you still have the gift from someone you don't talk to anymore

[azmaarts]

"If you die, I die." - Mydei & Phainon