#fmlore404

[the-fermi-system]

IF ANYONE CAN HEAR ME.

Tried out a new artstyle while procrastinating on our piles of homework.

Something about how one of our headmates is set up to prevent another headmate from voicing her theories. Not able to elaborate much so far, as the effect is global — we lose the words to talk about our experiences, our mouth feels harder to open/control, and word choice becomes clinical and inexpressive.

[the-fermi-system]

How to stop other sysmates from theorising about our trauma history and thereby creating believable false memories in the process no glue no borax

(Seriously, though. We already have quite a few of these false memories and we're starting to believe them. Any advice at all is much appreciated. We can explain more if needed, just ask.)

[the-fermi-system]

chat is it normal for your system to have one member who's like. the embodiment of perfection and all of your good traits? is there a word for this?

there's almost always someone who's able to do things we usually have a hard time with almost effortlessly, speak eloquently and charismatically; who has a sharp mind and sharper sense of humour. and what's more, they just... feel perfect. we can't quite put our finger on it. the role seems to transfer from member to member. our golden child was Lily until Avalon formed just recently.

Does anyone else experience this? Is it associated with certain origins, system types, or neurotypes?

Further context below the cut because I yap. A lot. Most of it is unclear and irrelevant; I'll edit it soon. You have been warned.

Context

Our system is full of dualimates — for us, that manifests as pairs of linked headmates whose opposing traits balance each other out. (i.e.: inside of us there are two wolves. /ref)

I'm a dualimate myself. I try to investigate our past and why our system works the way it does; Avalon tries to prevent me/us from doing so if she believes it'll cause us harm. She's co-con with me as I'm typing this, so apologies for any inconsistencies in wording or opinion / grammatical/syntactic/spelling errors due to blurriness.

Her being the System's Golden Child™ would imply that I'm the System's Black Sheep™ (and therefore that some key part of our subconscious believes she's in the right), but this isn't fully the case. We're not enemies or rivals. We're both multifaceted; neither of us is completely good or bad.

[the-fermi-system]

Our system has false memories.

We're looking for a cage that we've never been in.

Context: Some of us believe that the way we are now can be tied to a hypothetical traumatic event in our past. There is currently very little conclusive evidence of this. We share practically no symptoms with real survivors of this type of trauma, and those that we do could be caused by literally anything else. Still, some of us have decided to research this further, and we have developed false memories about our past as a result. This has even led to us (internally) joking about or romanticising serious forms of abuse.

How can we stop ourselves from believing before it's too late? Is there a way we can properly debunk or erase these memories, for good?

I am open to any and all means of doing so.

[the-fermi-system]

Welcome to Our Brain #ourbrain!

We have:

"Something specifically horrible and horribly specific happened to us a very long time ago -- and I will find out what that was, mark my words" headmate*

"Investigating this event will make us believe it really happened, so we should just leave it alone for now" headmate

Brain-fog-haver "huh? whuhh?" headmate (the host)

*I don't even know who you are but you sound like some sort of conspiracy theorist. "oughh we were in the Torment Nexus these normal human behaviours are signs of having been in the Torment Nexus" girl. what????? our childhood sucked enough we don't need to make it Worse