Discover Top Posts Tagged with #for miles

when i was a child i thought that heaven was a huge garden where it was always daytime, and always summer, and no one ever slept. there would be fruit everywhere and lions that didn’t hurt people. i thought that when people got to heaven, they got to choose what age they wanted to be. and if they wished they could have wings.

i thought that i would wish to be four years old again, and have sparkly blue wings.

i hated summer, and i loved nighttime, so i was not looking forward to constant sunshine. i thought that would be annoying, and wished people were allowed to sleep in heaven.

when i was a child i thought that hell was blue. green. teal. a muddy teal. i saw abstract images of how they (anonymous figures with block heads) hung, drew and quartered you. you’d get sliced through a tube. you’d get your head chopped off. no one talked, but no one was people either. you were bits. i saw it in two dimensions. hell did not go to effort in my young brain. it was bad, as easily as possible.

i didn’t quite like hell either.

my family members would always say that they simply can’t wait to be in heaven. usually, it’s because they can’t wait to reunite with my great grandma. my mother says that the four babies she miscarried are in heaven, and so i’m not the youngest anymore. the thought of four more siblings is beyond comprehension. i wonder if their hair is red or brown. but it makes me sad when my family says these things, because i can wait to get to heaven. i’d like to wait a long long time. i’d like to wait 100 years, and that’s me being reasonable. i’ve just started, and all the people i care about are right here, down here. i want to do things, and i want to do everything. and after people say they can’t wait for heaven, they don’t do anything. they’re not looking around themselves. they’re not looking at me. the thought of eternity scares me.

the thought of eternity with these people scares me.

if i had to live forever, it would be in a cave behind a waterfall where i could see the sun, the rain, the harvest.

so i grew up to not believe in heaven, because it was easier. and to not believe in hell, because it sounds a bit ridiculous.

i’m not going to say that heaven found me anyway.

i’m going to say on purpose. you found me on purpose and i chose you on purpose and you chose me on purpose.

and heaven is lying in a bed with a window that lets you see the pouring rain

heaven is the increments of time where we touch getting slowly closer together.

heaven is knowing that you’re always there.

normally, i don’t like when people are always there. i always liked to be alone where it was safest.

you’re the only one i’m happy knowing is there. there for me.

that’s because alone isn’t the safest, not when you’re here. the safest is with you. i have the protection of being away from everyone who hurt me but more importantly i have you, and you are rays of sun and knowledge and delight.

i told you in the art gallery that i always branded myself as someone who didn’t like words of affirmation. i’d tell people it was the love language i liked the least, giving or receiving.

in year 11 psychology we learned about attachment styles, and i told everyone and myself that i had an avoidant attachment style, that i liked to do things on my own probably because i was too smothered as a child.

that’s why i felt uncomfortable when my old boyfriend would tell me he loved me, or wanted to marry me. i thought that’s just not my style.

and okay if it may be true for my relationships with most people. but not you.

i love you, and i want to marry you, and i want to give you words of affirmation roughly once every 15 minutes, and i want to write several thousand word essays on tumblr about you even though i’m still not a huge words person. but the words i have, i want to give to you. i don’t want to avoid you like i’ve been used to. i want all your love in all the languages, because i want you to be here. i want us to be here.

i don’t know what this has to do with heaven but you are heaven. i do not want to die, and what i cant wait for isn’t heaven, its sharing a bed with you and making you tea and getting sick after you’re sick and giving you gifts and writing you love letters. i want to eat up everything available to us on earth, all the realities of holding your hand, how it feels to lie down on the floor with you when everything else is hostile. i want to give you everything.

@actsofsurvival thank you for loving me in a way that i fell in love with 💛

#no one ever had #i love you #💛#🖤#for miles

Happy pride month! - Curlier 6 shitpost canvas

The crackship of the century! Don’t ask how or why these characters even breathed at the same time as one another. This batshit pairing was concocted by me and @robotcowboy6969 because we kept dicking around in VRC, and now we spread our propaganda to the world.

(Don’t take this too seriously, this is all good fun)

(If you send asks, we are not responsible for your horror)

Art is both draw-overs and wholly authentic doodles. I do not take credit for the former, and most of the original images and artists can be found in here.

Sorry for clogging main tags, I regret nothing.

watching the tylroh stream instead of checking back to cylia for better quality on the barricade feels like choosing an indie comedy over a marvel movie

#mcr #for miles #I NEED to know what happens if they play sing for some fucking reason

yeees this is joel's work you can tell! his abssss we need another anatomy with omar i'm going feral here 🫠

#anatomy with omar #abs #for miles #fuck #omar in croatia #croatiamar