Sinners • P8
18+
Sleeping with your best friend's ex ruined your life in more ways than one. Leaving seems the best option- but will it be possible?
Content Warning: Bucky x Reader, enemies to lovers to enemies, Steve x Reader, angst, fluff, dark and mature themes.
Series Masterlist
A dull song plays in the background of the dull bar you're sitting in. With a baseball cap and huge sunglasses that hide half of your face, you keep your head down, allowing the cool beer to relax you.
This is the first time you've been in public without being swarmed by people in two weeks. It feels freeing, but still constricted. You flinch whenever someone walks too close to you, and freeze up if it looks like someone's about to approach you.
When he enters the bar, you sit up, as though your blue Knicks cap and matching jersey doesn't make it obvious enough that it's you. He walks over to you and slides into the booth next to you, sitting a little too close for comfort.
"Do you mind? You're literally up my ass," You grumble lowly, wrapping your fist around the beer bottle.
"Nice merch," He replies with a mutter. "I've always been more of a Mets guy, myself."
"Oh, I know," You mumble. "Did you bring it?"
"You're not gonna ask me how I am?" He asks with feigned offence.
"If you've had a fortnight similar to mine, then I know you'd rather not talk about it," You reply. "The money?"
He slides over a rucksack, patting it a few times. "It's all there. Threw in a little extra, because I'm such a sweetheart."
"I'd say thanks, but it's the least you asshats owe me," You say bluntly. "I don't even know where to go. Public transport isn't an option. I'm gonna have to rent a fuckin' car and drive as far away as possible. My parents have practically disowned me."
"I'm sorry," He whispers, placing his hand on top of yours. "I- I hate that this is happening to you, as well. You don't deserve it."
"No, I do," You say with a shrug. "I'm just as much a sinner as you and him. Every decision I made was my own. I deserve this."
He lets out a sigh, shaking his head. "I can pull a few strings. Borrow one of Tony's jets and take you wherever you wanna go."
Tears fill your eyes and your face crumples up at his proposal, your heart aching.
"Shit, are you okay?" He asks, turning to you with a concerned look.
"I don't wanna leave," You cry, looking down. "And... I don't want you to be okay with me leaving, Buck."
His face falls. "Y/N-"
"Why are you so okay with it?" You ask him through blurred vision. "When I told you I was leaving, you didn't even flinch. It's almost like you were relieved. Did you really never care?"
Bucky rests his arm on the back of the seat and leans in closer to you, before slowly taking off your sunglasses and his own. When his eyes meet yours, he swallows thickly. "I don't deserve a second chance. And you being in New York makes that dangerously likely to happen."
"Why don't you want a second chance?" You ask, slightly offended. It means a lot that you're even talking to him right now, let alone hypothesizing the possibility of forgiving him, and he's refusing it?
"I do, but I don't deserve one," He explains with a pained look. "I've been alone these past two weeks, and that's given me a chance to do some self-reflection. What I did to you and with you was horrible. I was so against the idea of admitting that I wanted you that I made it into a game. Who does that?"
"Steve did," You answer curtly.
"He did. And he's just as much a bastard for it," Bucky says simply, leaning in closer. "I don't want you to go. But if you spend another day in New York, I will use it to try and win you back. Convince you that I'm a good guy that deserves you. But I'm not, chick. I'm an arrogant asshole with little to no care for others."
"You care about me, though," You argue, as though you desperately want it to be true. "You can't say you don't. Bucky, you can't."
"Of course I fuckin' care about you," He grumbles. "I like you, a lot."
"I think you love me," You theorize with a shrug.
"I-," He laughs dryly, shaking his head. "Maybe, somehow, I do."
"The fuck do you mean, 'somehow'?" You ask, scoffing.
"I mean, I've never felt this way about anyone," He admits bashfully. "I'm not used to it."
"Doesn't that make me feel special?" You mumble lightly, before resting your hand on his thigh and looking up at him.
"Don't do that," He says through gritted teeth.
"Do what?" You question him innocently.
He lets out a sigh, playing with the collar of your jacket. "Forgive me so easy."
"I'm not!" You claim with wide eyes. Bucky raises a brow, giving you a pointed look. After a few moments, you deflate and budge closer to him. "I miss you."
"Stop," He utters, looking down. "You don't mean that. I screwed you over and ruined your fuckin' life."
"Then why do I miss you so bad?" You ask him, your heart racing. Silence floats between you, both of you too afraid to break it. Once an uncomfortable amount of time has passed, you clear your throat. "Will you give me a ride home?"
He sits up, removing his arm from the back of the seat. "Where you staying?"
"Some motel nearby. Griddle Inn, or something," You tell him while picking up the rucksack of cash.
"A motel?" He interrogates you with a look of disapproval.
"I'm fine; I know judo," You assure him, nudging his arm.
With a less than pleased look, he gives in. "Alright. But I'm doing a perimeter sweep as soon as we get there."
Ten minutes later, you're standing outside the cheap motel building and fishing for your keys in your pocket.
"Be with you in a sec," Bucky informs you, looking around the car park.
"You were serious about the perimeter sweep?" You ask him with a scoff.
"There could be paparazzi hiding and waiting for you," He warns you. "Who knows what kind of sickos want to get you alone so they can hound you for an inside scoop?"
Rolling your eyes, you pull your keys out and shrug. "Fine, go ahead. I'll be inside."
With that, he walks off, leaving you alone. You stick the key into the door and unlock it before walking in, your heart immediately skipping a beat. Your room is full to the brim with flowers, and there's hardly any space to walk. You almost let out a scream at the absurdity - until you see Steve sitting on your bed.
"What the fuck?" You whisper with wide eyes, looking around the room at the insane amount of flowers.
"I'm sorry, princess," He says, standing up with furrowed brows. "I hate that I hurt you. I hate that you're in this shitty situation. I hate myself for ever letting you think I do anything less than love you."
Your stomach drops at his words.
"And I mean love you, baby," He reiterates firmly. "I'm sick of dancing around the truth. Keeping you at arms length. I love you."
Feeling an overwhelming sense of dread, you step further into the room, crushing a few tulips beneath your sneakers. "Oh, Stevie..." You trail off, not knowing what to say.
Before he can double down on his words, Bucky enters the room behind you. When he sees the flowers and none other than Steve in the middle of them, he can't help but snort. "The fuck is this?"
Steve's face falls. "What are you doing here?" He asks with an accusatory look.
"What are you doing here?" Bucky retorts with a raised brow. They engage in an intense stare-off, neither of them willing to be the first to look away.
Utterly overwhelmed, you kick a few flowers away and collapse onto the armchair. "Why is this my life?" You whisper, rubbing your forehead.
Breaking away from each other's glare, the boys look over at you. "Settle our bet, chick," Bucky utters curtly.
You move your hand down, frowning up at him. "Excuse me?"
"Tell us which one you want more," Steve demands. "Which of us is it, Y/N?"
Absolutely appalled, you stand up with your hands clenching into fists. "I cannot believe you two. Here I was, thinking I should give you both the benefit of the doubt. I convinced myself that the bet was a stupid mistake. That you weren't really like that, you didn't really see me as some kind of trophy to win. But I was wrong. You're both heartless. The only thing you care about is getting one up on the other. Winning this stupid competition," You rant, outraged. "You wanna know who I want? Fucking neither of you! You don't see me as a woman, or as a person. I'm the final inning. The last goal. I'm just a pawn in your twisted game of chess, and you really had me believing that I was the fucking queen."
They stay silent, respecting you for perhaps the very first time as they allow you to get out your thoughts without interrupting.
"You made me feel special, like I was truly an incredible woman. Captain America and the Winter Soldier, fighting over little old me?" You laugh at your own naivety. "You weren't fighting to win me. You were fighting to beat each other. This has never been about me; it's been about your sordid competition with each other about who's the better man."
You're only just realizing the truth yourself, and it feels good to be getting it off your chest.
"Bucky, you hated me up until the break up with Anna. On our date, you said you only hated the fact that you couldn't have me. Did that bruise your ego, the fact that something was actually out of your reach? Make you feel like less of a man when you couldn't win me sexually?" You ask him dryly, before turning to the blond bitch. "And you, Steve. You fucked me and then never called. It wasn't until Bucky started showing interest that you wanted me again. Because it wasn't me that you wanted, it was the victory. It was the bragging rights."
Exhausted and tired of being manipulated, you pick up your things and make your way to the door. It terrifies you, but you know saying goodbye is the right thing.
"Neither of you love me. Not really," You state with a shrug. "You're just panicking, on the edge of losing me and saying whatever you think will make me stay. Well, it's too late. You've lost me. I win." Grabbing the rucksack of money, you give them each a nod. "And now, I'm gonna take my winnings and leave. And neither of you are ever gonna see me again."
With that, you storm out of the motel room, slamming the door shut behind you and making your way to the road in search of a taxi.
Meanwhile, the boys stand in a tense silence. The weight of your words sits heavy on their chests as they each reflect on their actions. Ashamed and deeply regretful, there's one thing that unites the rivals: their love for you.
"You know we can't just let her run away," Steve utters gravely.
"I know, pal," Bucky replies, meeting his eyes. "And we won't."
Just then, the boys hear the distant sound of multiple camera flashes and yelling.
"Fuck's sake," Bucky grumbles, immediately rushing to the door with Steve hot on his tracks. He thought he had scoured the area properly, but the damn press seem to have evaded even a highly trained assassin.
"Tell us, Y/N, who's better in bed?" A greasy-haired man yells at you while you attempt to get away.
"Did they get you your job?" Another asks you with a snide smirk. "Anything for the money, huh?"
"Fuck you," You spit, trying to push the crowd away but failing.
"Whose penis is bigger?"
"Are you pregnant?"
"How many of Earth's mightiest heroes have you slept with?"
"Who's the father of your child?"
"Done any girl-on-girl action with Black Widow?"
"Have you ever had a threesome?"
"That's enough!" Steve's authoritative voice cuts through the chaos, demanding silence which he gets. The cameras go even crazier, taking hundreds of pictures of you being saved by Steve and Bucky who drag you over to Steve's car.
They help you get into the back before rushing into the front. Steve immediately begins to drive out of the car park and away from the paparazzi, as fast as he can and even zooming through a red light when he sees some of them following behind.
In the back, you sit on the middle seat, your head hanging low. "They just saw the three of us hanging out in the seediest motel in New York," You state bluntly, before looking up.
Bucky turns back to glance at you. You meet Steve's eyes in the rearview mirror for a second. They share a look. And, with nothing else to do, the three of you burst into sordid, defeated laughter. You fall back against the seat, weak giggles leaving your mouth at the situation. Here you are, infamous across New York and likely the whole country - and maybe even the world - for your sins. It's too heavy to take that seriously right now, so instead, you laugh. Much better than crying.
"We have a few safehouses in the city," Steve informs you once you've all settled down. "It'll be best to lay low for a few days, all of us."
"Whatever," You mutter, unable to really care anymore.
He continues driving until you arrive at a small cabin in the woods, with overgrown vines hugging the bricks. "I'm not sure when the last time this was stocked up was," Steve admits as you enter the cutesy cabin. "I'll go out and get us some supplies. You and Bucky get to starting up the fire."
"Aye aye, Captain," You say with an eye roll as you look around the place. It's a little dusty and creaky, but you know the privacy is worth it. Besides, you won't be here for long.
Steve gives Bucky a nod, silently telling him to follow him. The two of them walk back over to the front door while you explore the kitchen, and they keep their voices hushed while they talk.
"I don't know about you, but I'm not about to lose her," Steve says curtly.
"What do we do when she gets itchy to leave?" Bucky asks. "She won't agree to living here forever."
"She won't have to. Once the media calms down and they move on to the next scandal, we'll be able to rejoin society," Steve tells him confidently. "We'll move her somewhere she deserves to live. The three of us."
"Us?" Bucky repeats with a raised brow.
Bucky's fingers twitch. Share? A look of concern and slight doubt sits on his face, causing Steve to place a hand on his shoulder and lean in, lowering his voice to a growl.
Glancing over to the kitchen, Steve lets out a long sigh. When he looks back at Bucky, there's an odd calmness on his features. "I know you, and I know myself," Steve says. "Neither of us will give her up. And I know you love her enough to be more than willing to share her. She'll be ours, and she'll want us just as badly as we want her."
"She'll learn to love us," Steve tells him. "And then, she won't be able to live without us."
a/n. yeah, no, i wasn't expecting the dark turn, either. it just happened. none of my business. steve and bucky have made their choice
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