#forjanus

[vitalphenomena]

@forjanus said: i'd let her fuck me with a racket.

AS WOULD RUPERT.

Instead of saying as much, he licks the inside of his teeth then clicks his tongue against the newly-cleansed surface of his central incisors.

"Don't be a crude little shit."

He needs to be diplomatic. This is a crucial, integral trait of any politician - or wannabe politician.

"You're a smart man; I know you are." Finally, he faces Alec head on - as cool as can be. "So act like it."

[thebestplayer-moved]

@forjanus​ sent :  🎉// but it's a big old group smooch for the three musketeers xoxo Send ’ 🎉 ’ to kiss my muse at midnight on New Years Eve. // accepting.

20 SECONDS , finding Alec through a throng of people at the MI6 New Years party is proving harder than he’d thought it would , James trailing behind him to help him look. FINALLY HE SPOTS HIM & 007 hangs back somewhat amused but Remy turns around , grabbing his hand. “Come on - you’re not standing there all stoic pretending you don’t care you’re alone.” HE HAS AN IDEA , one he knows Alec will be more than up for considering they’ve discussed something similar a few times - although that idea had required less clothes.     James looks at him as if he’s lost his mind but once they reach 006 , Remus slings one arm around Alec’s shoulder and another around James’. “It’s New Year so i think , we should all kiss.” HE ANNOUNCES LOOKING RATHER PLEASED WITH HIMSELF. Tilting his head whilst slightly amused , James looks at the profiler. “I don’t think you’ve thought this through, Remy.” He’s trying to figure out the logistics of it when Remus gives him a look. “Do you want a kiss or not Bond?” A brow arches. The 00 rolls his eyes but finally leans in. Pulling Alec closer, Remus finds himself giggling as all three of them attempt to share a kiss at the same time , knowing it likely looks ridiculous to anyone walking past them but he really doesn’t give a fuck. HE’S HIGH ON LIFE - high on the both of them in this moment and he doesn’t want to come down.

[dontstoptrying]

❛ are you wearing my shirt? ❜ // ok but soft sleepover content combined w alec being Like That kldsa @forjanus

She’s woken up at Alec’s after quite a heavy night. Though he’s clearly been a gentleman, as she’s in his bed but he’s on the sofa in the morning. Unwilling to just waste the the morning, Eve’s hunting for teabags in the kitchen when he emerges.

She glances at him with a smile. “I was hardly going to put my work clothes back on before breakfast,” she teases, satisfied as she finally finds some tea. “Fancy a cuppa?”

[thebestplayer-moved]

@forjanus​ sent : five times kissed // Remy 😘 five times kissed meme // accepting

i. When the line had gone dead - silence had engulfed the room. No one has spoken in two and a half hours. Remus is gripping the edge of the table so tightly his knuckles have turned white. James is pacing up and down and Q is still trying to get the feed back. THEY HAVE NO IDEA IF ALEC IS ON THAT HELICOPTER OR NOT. They have no idea if he's coming back. It's not until the doors are hissing open than Remus tears his gaze away from the table and almost throws himself off the chair. James swears in under his breath in relief as Alec comes into view. Battered , a little bruised but very much alive. Remus has never moved so fast , pushing past Bond and practically throwing himself at Alec. James rolls his eyes but there's the tiniest hint of a smile on lips as Remus jumps up, legs wrapping around Alec's waist with such force he almost sends them both crashing to the ground. HE GRASPS HIS FACE IN HIS HANDS, eyes a little watery. "If you ever do that again ....i'll kill you myself." The profiler whispers, heart racing in his chest. There are no labels here , and Remus knows there likely won't ever be but he can make his peace with that. He doesn't need a label or any kind of commitment. He just needs Alec in his life. Like he does James. He crashes his lips against 006's in a searing kiss , as if afraid he'll disappear.

ii. JAMES HAS BEEN MISSING FOR WEEKS - Remus has been crossing each day off on the calendar in his flat almost obsessively , rarely leaving his laptop other than to do the necessary. He's barely eating , relying on alcohol to fog his mind so he doesn't have to deal with the very real possibility the 00 was dead. ALEC HAS BEEN HERE MORE OFTEN THAN NOT , doing the one thing he's never had to do before. Take care of Remus. The profiler might think it remarkable , even sweet , if he wasn't as ill and stubborn as he was. Yet , it was very likely the only thing helping him cling on was in fact the other 00. Alec , Remus and James were a group. The three of them. They were in some ways dependent on one another and Remus knows if he were not bordering on being very unwell , Alec would likely be out there , looking for James. This , he feels immense guilt for , as if he's preventing Alec from doing what he needs to do. So one night , as he's lying in Alec's arms and staring at the ceiling , he finally turns his head to look at him. "I know where you want to be right now." IT'S A GHOSTLY WHISPER , a hand moving to touch Alec's jaw. "I know where you need to be." His voice breaks just a little. "It's okay. Go after him. Bring him home Alec." HE KNOWS THE OTHER IS HURTING AT THE LOSS , even if he's too stubborn to admit it in depth. Remus also knows nothing is going to change until they know whether James is alive or dead. He moves so that he's straddling Alec , taking his face in both his hands. "I will call Eve. Ask her to stay with me for a few days , so you know i'm safe." He leans down, pressing his forehead against the others. "Go to him. I know that's where your mind is. I am fine." Or he would be. He'd have to be. He presses his lips softly to Alec's , closing his eyes. "Just come back to me. Both of you." iii. REMUS HAS LOST THE THREAD OF THE CONVERSATION , laying sprawled out across the sofa , resting his head on Alec's lap as the other man bickers with James. Instead he watches them out of amusement , rolling his eyes as they trade playful insults and bring up old memories. HE'S CONTENT - he's happy even. There's something so familiar about this , it reminds him of the old days. It reminds him of how inseparable the three of them where and when Alec's head tilts down, and their gazes meet , he grins. He leans up , placing a kiss on the tip of his nose as James makes a mock sound of disgust. "Must you be so cloying?" 007 snipes and Remus just grins. "Yes." He murmurs. "I've had to listen to you two complain all evening about this and that." HE SITS UP JUST ENOUGH THAT HE CAN STEAL A KISS FROM ALEC'S LIPS THIS TIME. "I'd kiss you too but as you've called me cloying , i'm not kissing you for at least a week." Words are teasing and he finally removes himself from Alec's lap. "Enjoy drinking yourselves into oblivion , i need to sleep." He gives them both an amused look and then disappears into his bedroom , knowing they'd either leave or one or both of them would crawl into the bed with him later. He prefers the latter option if he's honest. iv. Leaving Alec with Logan Ash for a week probably wasn't the smartest idea , which is why he readily listens to the 00 complain for half an hour , or three quarters of an hour really. "Are you done yet?" He asks , sitting next to the other, reaching for his hand and bringing it to his lips so he can kiss his fingertips. REMUS HAS ALWAYS BEEN ONE TO SHOW PHYSICAL AFFECTION - even if right now he was teasing the other for whining. "You've been oh so brave." A wicked grin etches itself onto his lips and he drops his hand. "The bravest 00 in service if you ask me." HE KNOWS OF COURSE , the only reason Alec had deigned to agree to his request a week ago was because Remus was the one who had asked. He leans forward , brushing his lips against the others ear. "Come to mine tonight, and i'll reward you for your bravery. Seeing as you've been...such a good boy." & WITH THAT , he stands , winking before disappearing off to Q branch to go talk with the quartermaster about what he had found in Spain. v. Seeing Alec like this breaks something inside him - he's seen him drunk before , even high , in the past but for some reason , this affects Remus a little more than it has before. HE CAN PLAY THE PROFILER & he knows what to do when someone's intoxicated. But seeing Alec in clear distress , lost , broken even ; all he wants to do is fix it despite knowing it's never that simple. So he takes the other man by the hand , gently removing the glass from his other. "You need to sleep." REMUS TRIES TO SOUND FIRM , tries to take control of the situation because he's fairly certain if he doesn't it's going to get much worse. He guides him through the apartment , glad he'd stopped by in the first place to check up on the 00. WHO KNOWS WHAT HE'D HAVE FOUND IF HE'D WAITED UNTIL THE NEXT DAY. He shudders at the thought. Slowly , he helps the man undress, removing his shoes too. Helping him into bed , he gently tucks him in. Sitting on the edge of the bed , he closes his eyes for a moment. He knows he should tell someone , get Alec some outside help but he also knows the other man would not forgive him for it in the morning so he vows to sit by his side and make sure he doesn't choke in his sleep. He leans forward , pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Sleep , darling. I'll be here when you wake up."

[thebestplayer-moved]

Remy: Private jets are bumpier than regular planes.

Alec: All right, so pretend like it’s a roller coaster.

(Few minutes later…)

Alec: What happened?

James: Rusty roller-coaster car broke off the ride, flew into a crowd at a county fair. There’s multiple injuries en route.

Remy: “Pretend the plane is like a roller coaster,” you said! That’s what you said to me!

[vitalphenomena]

@forjanus said: i don't ask questions, and i'm well-compensated for it.

SO HE'S USED TO A CERTAIN PAYCHECK. A certain cut of whatever nefarious, illegal conduct Pyotr gets up to for his own sake or at Kazimir Volkov's behest.

Pyotr regards Alec with a cold inscrutability that makes his own skin crawl. Not because he's particularly sensitive or sympathetic to the effect he might be having on the guy—but because he doesn't like playing hardball.

They should be clinking rocks glasses and laughing up a storm.

Grimly: "Curious Barbara had her nose torn off at the market."

So, y'know, you're better off not sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.

"It's good for you to protect yourself. Are you a loyal man?"

[seventhrecruit]

“And you think on a million and one I’ll choke? Suppose that’s why M made you tag along for this one.” He spares a glance towards Alec before adjusting the chauffeurs coat. “Honestly, I would have thought by now that they’d at least upgrade me from valet to guest. Save them all the headache for when I sneak in anyways.” James slips the hat on, holding back a grimace as it fits to his indent by now. “What was your cover for this one then? Some washed up celebrity? Surely nothing with a brain.”

@forjanus said “you've done this a million times before.” | infiltration plan

[hacker-codeq]

hc + 🏠 for a home-themed headcanon

Thematic Headcanons || Accepting

Q used to have a range of plants in his house - since people from the office had no idea what to get him, they tended to be gifted to him with alarming regularity until Moneypenny realised they were all being basically ignored as soon as they were set in the property. Since then, the only plant Q takes home to add to an ever-growing collection are tea leaves.