i like your body. (i like what it does, i like its hows)
For the few of us who are fans of forlex, here’s an offering of Alex exploring a new routine. Title and fic inspired by the ee cummings poem.
Read on AO3
The darkness of the night makes it more intimate. Two bodies undulate, only skin, close and tight on a large bed. Alex tucks in close into the circle of heat, leaning into strong thighs, curls his legs in close to him. Forrest is a line of warmth around him, and he gently scrapes Alex’s scalp now.
Alex leans into the feeling of comfort and warmth, but holds himself tight in a ball. He holds his elbows inside his thighs, locked away from wandering. His hands dance around his knees, trying not to touch the stump, but he feels the emptiness still.
Alex feels the ache now, not only the emotional ache of having lost a part of his body. The physical aches, the soreness of the muscles in his thighs and torso. The way his back had curved and arched when they fucked, the way Forrest had moved his fingers inside him, opening him up slowly then with urgency. He still feels it, achy and hollow and perfect.
Alex rubs his thighs together, feeling the pull of exertion, and he likes that ache, the reality of it, the physicality of it.
Alex loves the anchor of sex, of this sex. He likes the memories it leaves on his body, the way he can reach out again and refresh it. The ways in which it isn’t always sexy but still lets him float for a while that becomes sexy eventually. The pain is the sensation that reminds him that someone likes him, just him, just Alex Manes. Likes him enough to hold him, to own him, that Forrest wants him.
It’s been months now, but their rituals are still soothing. They can’t always be together, but they always make sure to set aside the weekends to themselves. Alex is new to this, the stability, the domesticity, and he needs the safety of a routine. He knows Forrest had his doubts early on, worried about things getting boring, Alex being bored. But Alex likes this, the certainty, the repetition, the comfort of knowing Forrest will be here, every Friday night.
His mind shies away from the old memories, of broken promises, and emotional landmines at every corner. This is good now, what he has with Forrest. It is safe.
The night always starts with dinner together, cooking, eating, enjoying the night. The wine always helps, just enough to remove the burden of the day. The constant obedience of the Air Force hierarchy, the frequent turmoil of the residents of Roswell. He never knows when to switch off the compliance instinct, and when to stand his ground. Old friends out of sync, new friends too new to have any sync. Knowing he’s coming back home on Friday nights to a dinner date, to Forrest who doesn’t need him to be anything else but himself, that’s real comfort.
Forrest stirs on the bed, breaking the rhythm of his fingers on Alex’s scalp, and hums. A wordless question to check. Alex nods a little, letting him know that he’s alright.
Forrest moves his shoulder a little, “move up here, Alex,” he whispers. Alex unfolds himself, shimmies up to face Forrest. Forrest doesn’t say anything more, the darkness of the night and the warmth of the bed are enough to understand.
The kiss is soft, soft and slow. Alex’s lips move over Forrest’s, familiar and sweet. They stay in that rhythm of mouths moving over each other, hands holding each other, legs entangled. They kiss because they can, and because there is no urgency to do anything else, to be anything else, go anywhere else.
Forrest pulls him closer, wraps a hand around Alex’s waist and flips over him. The kiss deepens in a way that feels real, that feels good. Forrest’s hand touches his hip, too-light and still trembling, and Alex, lays his own hand over it, presses it down firmly, encouraging Forrest to curl his fingers. His body is into that, the desire in him is into it. Forrest understands, and digs his thumb in just inside the long bone arch of Alex’s hip as his fingers, outside, dig into the muscle of it. Alex likes the gesture for what it says, the way Forrest covers him, solid and present and a lover who knows what Alex likes, wants to give Alex the pleasure he desires.
Forrest pushes down, a delightful frisson going through Alex from contact of skin to skin.
Alex rolls his hips a little, there is no urgency, just a slow drag build of honey like heat. Forrest ducks his head down and mouths at Alex’s shoulder, groans softly. Alex wants and wants more and doesn’t know how to put his want into words. The desire sticks to this throat, behind his teeth. He wants to be pulled closer, to be held. Comforted. Wanted.
Loved.
Forrest must understand, he is so good to Alex that way, because he puts his left leg over Alex’s hip and pulls him close. Yes. Yes this is what he wants, their erections creating the best friction ever. Alex closes his eyes and sees the star bursts of pleasure with that slight line of pain, red and blue and green. A rainbow spectrum of desire, of joy.
A groan bubbles out of his throat, instead of words it’s just a moan. He gets a bite for his trouble, just a roam of teeth on his throat and shoulders that makes him moan again. The room is filled with just their breathing, their gasps, the slick sound of their bodies moving together, the creak of the bed.
Forrest whispers his name, and Alex knows the pleasure is building, his body is responding to the way Forrest moves faster now, hips snapping a little more, seeking more. Alex’s knee digs into the mattress, seeking purchase, mouth seeking Forrest’s. Their kiss is more of just shared breaths, gasping, dancing. He feels the urgency in his own body, the way he wants that climax now more, and pressing.
It almost feels like they come together, one right after the other. Forrest groans low and heavy and Alex follows him right after, relief flooding his body. The starburst behind his eyelids turned supernova.
They fall back side by side, face still turned towards each other, legs almost still tangled. Sweat pools on Alex’s back, and around his temple, a cool contrast to his flushed skin. Forrest fumbles off after a moment, going to the bathroom to clean and returning with a washcloth. Alex waves his hands in a vague go ahead sign at him, and Forrest chuckles before slowly and carefully cleaning Alex up.
Alex feels his eyelids getting heavier, and only vaguely registers the bed dipping with Forrest’s return. An arm snakes up to his waist and Alex turns, wanting to recreate that feeling of warmth from earlier. Of being held. Forrest’s lips brush the side of his neck as sleep tries to stake claim on his body and mind.
His body still felt jagged most days, aches and pains and memories of old trying to mix together. But this was safe, this was good. Alex focused on the safety of the warm circle around his body, and drifts off to dream of rainbows and starbursts.
Michael had no right to be jealous and he knew that.
He was trying so damn hard not to be as he worked in the bunker alongside Alex and Forrest. It was definitely hard at first, but Alex was happier than Michael had ever seen him and he couldn’t bring himself to stop that. Well, technically, he’d tried to put himself out there for Alex three months prior after seeing them together for the first time, but Alex had said no. So now he was trying.
When they first brought Forrest into the situation, it was by accident. He’d been in the wrong place at the wrong time and saw too much alien shit to explain in any other way. However, now that they had him apart of the crew, he was helpful. He knew the best ways to skim through boring old documents and, after realizing it was indeed aliens, he had a lot of knowledge. That meant they did research together. Which was fine as long as they didn’t show any PDA.
However, today, Alex wasn’t in a good mood and that meant Forrest was trying to help.
“Stop it,” Alex said firmly. Michael tried to look over to them without making it obvious that that’s what he was doing. He could see Forrest leaning into Alex’s personal space, nudging his nose against his arm like a dog. “You’re distracting me.”
“Take a break, you’re stressing me out by proxy,” Forrest told him. Michael saw the way Alex’s lips almost tugged into a smile as he did his damnedest to keep serious. “C’mon, please?”
“I need to get through this and we can go home,” Alex told him. Home. Michael hated that.
“I’d rather go home later and have you feeling good than go home earlier with hours of pent up stress,” Forrest said, smacking a kiss against his sweater-covered shoulder. “Let’s release that stress.”
“Oh yeah?” Alex asked, “How do you propose we do that?”
Michael felt his stomach drop, genuinely terrified they were going to kiss (or worse) in front of him. Which, he supposed he deserved. But still. The thought made him sick.
But, instead, Forrest stood up and walked towards the table in the middle of the room. Michael couldn’t help it as his eyes followed him in confusion. Forrest tapped away on his phone and Alex slowly turned his swivel chair to face him. He put his phone on the counter and swiftly turned to face Alex with a devious look.
“They’re gonna clean up your looks with all the lies and the books to make a citizen out of you,” Forrest started alongside the music that begun to play. Michael frowned.
“No, we’re not doing this right now,” Alex said despite his large smile. Forrest held out his hand for him.
“Because they sleep with a gun and keep an eye on you, son, so they can watch all the things you do,” Forrest went on, walking closer with a dumb swagger in his walk. Then he slammed his hands on Alex’s armrests, getting close to his face as Alex got more and more red. “Because the drugs never work, they gonna give you a smirk, ‘cause they got methods of keepin’ you clean.”
“Forrest.”
“They gonna rip up your heads, your aspirations to shreds, another cog in the murder machine,” Forrest sang. Then he grabbed Alex’s hands and pulled him to his feet, pulling them flush together before he started dancing on him like a dumbass. “They said all teenagers scare the living shit out of me!”
“I refuse to have a dance party right now!”
“They could care less as long as someone’ll bleed!”
“This is so unprofessional!”
“So darken your clothes, or strike a violent pose! Maybe they’ll leave you alone but not me!” Forrest sang, dipping Alex in a way that caused him to laugh so unexpectedly hard that even Michael was smiling.
Forrest did the same thing for the next verse, dancing around Alex and pestering him to try to get him to lighten up. Alex stayed pretty strong for the most part, just shaking his head at him. However, Alex kept looking over at Michael and it made him wonder if this was something they did often to blow off steam and Alex was only holding off because Michael was there.
Well, that just wasn’t an option.
“Will make them pay for the things they did!” Michael joined in on time, standing up and causing both of them to look at him in shock. Forrest collected himself much faster than Alex.
“They said all teenagers scare the living shit out of me!” Forrest and Michael said in unison, Michael doing his best to dance along if only to make Alex smile like that. “They could care less as long as someone’ll bleed!”
“C’mon, Alex!” Forrest urged, grabbing his hips and making him move a little. It would’ve normally driven Michael crazy, but Alex was staring at them both with so much affection that it was worth it.
“So darken your clothes or strike a violent pose! Maybe they’ll leave you alone but not me!” Alex scream-sang back, causing them both to cheer for him.
They all danced in a really embarrassing fashion to the instrumental break, bad air guitar and under-used headbanging and awkward shoulder movements all in full swing. Forrest spun Alex around and then surprisingly grabbed Michael to do the same, making it clear he was welcome to join their fun.
So they jumped around together, screaming along to a song Michael didn’t even realize he remembered all the words to. It was honestly the most fun he’d had in weeks and it was with his ex and his ex’s new boyfriend. Who would’ve guessed that?
Alex touched him and danced with him and Forrest didn't mind. In fact, Forrest danced with him too. It didn't make sense, but they were equals and trusted. There were no dirty looks shared no matter who touched whom, it was just fun. It clicked in Michael's head for the first time on what exactly was so great about this Forrest guy. He was fun.
"See, now didn't that help?" Forrest asked as the song ended and they found themselves catching their breath as if screaming and dancing for two minutes was an actual workout.
"Yeah," Alex said, smiling at them both with red cheeks and fond eyes, "Thanks."
"I think I need to have more dance parties," Michael agreed. Forrest nodded at him.
"Ultimate way to feel better, I promise. If Grey's Anatomy taught me anything, it was that," Forrest insisted. Michael laughed and that made Alex smile wider. "Okay, you two geniuses get back to reading, I'm gonna go pick up some food. A burger from the Crashdown sound good? No lettuce or pickles on yours, Alex, and extra cheese and hot sauce, no ketchup, on yours, Michael, right? And I'll get extra fries."
Michael nodded despite his shock that Forrest both knew his order and trusted him to be alone with Alex.
"Thanks, man," Michael said.
"I gotchu," Forrest said. He leaned forward and gave Alex a peck on the lips and for once Michael didn't want to strangle him for it. Then it was just the two of them.
"I get it now," Michael said, nodding, "I get why you like him."
"Are you going to steal my boyfriend, Guerin?" Alex teased. Michael snorted and shook his head.
"No, I'm just saying. You look happy and... Well, if I can't do that, I'm glad someone can. Happy looks good on you," Michael said. Alex smiled genuinely and nodded, reaching out to squeeze his arm gently.
"Thank you. It looks good on you too," Alex said. Michael knew that while he was happy enough right then, he'd never be truly happy without Alex. But it was too nice of a view to say anything about that.
"Let's get back to work."
They did work later than anticipated that night, but, when they left, everyone was still feeling good.
Rosa is sticking out her tongue at him, darting behind a snowman, kneeling down to grab more snow.
Alex is well aware he’s probably too old for this, but he also needs this, running around with Rosa, pelting each other with snowballs like they did when they were kids. He can’t even remember the last time he smiled before this impromptu snowball fight. It figures that Rosa would find a way to make him laugh again.
He grabs a fistfull of snow, packing it tightly into a ball, waiting until he sees Rosa start to dart away from the snowman before throwing it.
To his horror, a man walks right in the path of his frozen projectile.
“Oh, fuck, I’m so sorry!” Alex immediately apologizes, rushing over, reaching out to brush the snow away before pulling his hands back, not knowing whether the touch would be welcome.
The man is handsome with a wide smile and blue hair that he clearly hasn’t dyed very recently, given the dark roots. “No harm done,” he replies confidently, meeting Alex’s eyes. “If I have to be hit by a snowball, I’m glad it was thrown by someone who looks like you.”
Alex finds himself ducking his head a bit, blushing. He’s not used to this, men being so forward about flirting with him. It’s not like he was the only queer man in the Air Force, but DADT turned being private about it into a habit. “I’m still sorry,” he finally says. “Can I make it up to you?” It’s only moments later when he realizes how this man could interpret that.
“Sure,” the man replies, smile growing wider. “You can let me buy you a coffee.”
Alex grins at that, “Deal. I’m Alex, by the way.”
“Forrest,” the man replies, holding out his hand for Alex to shake. Alex can’t help but notice all the rings he wears, the metal a cool contrast with the warmth of Forrest’s grip.
“So, about that coffee,” Alex says, already following Forrest toward The Crashdown. “I hit you with the snowball. I’m thinking I should pay.”
“Why don’t I pay this time?” Forrest asks, opening the door, “And you can pay the next time?”
Alex turns back to look at Forrest as he steps inside, “That sounds fair.”
“Good,” Forrest replies, leading the way toward the counter. “So, Alex, tell me, why exactly were you throwing snowballs at unsuspecting passersby?”
Ten minutes later, Alex has already told Forrest all about his friendship with Rosa and Forrest is asking Alex out on what he refers to as a proper date. “I’ll even cook,” he promises.
It’s been so long since Alex was on an actual date. Since before his injury. So he takes a moment to think.
“Look, if you’re not interested, then-”
“No, it’s not that!” Alex quickly interrupts. “I’m most definitely interested. I just don’t know if…”
“It’s not that complicated,” Forrest replies. “I like you. I’d like to get to know you better. And, unless you’re a serial killer or a clown enthusiast-”
“I’m former Air Force. I, um, I lost part of my leg.” He can’t quite believe he’s putting it out there so plainly. And he’s expecting it to backfire spectacularly.
That is, until Forrest replies, “So, you’re a hero.” He shrugs, “You’re not telling me anything that makes me any less interested. Just so you know.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?” Forrest asks, as if asking for clarification.
“I’ll have dinner with you.”
Forrest’s confident grin slides back into place. “You’re not allergic to dogs, are you?”
“Not that I know of?” Alex replies. It’s not like his dad would have ever let him have a dog when he was a kid, even if he always wanted one. And then, well, he couldn’t exactly have one while he was off serving in the Air Force.
“Good. Because I like you. But my dog, Buffy, well, she’ll have to have the final say. Can’t date anyone she doesn’t like.”
“That seems fair,” Alex laughs, already looking forward to meeting Buffy and spending more time getting to know this man who has made him smile more in the past ten minutes than he thinks he has in the past ten years before meeting him.
Alex was in the middle of making breakfast while looking into some of his documents regarding Project Sheppard and Deep Sky. All morning he’d felt this restlessness in his body. Actually, he’d been feeling on edge ever since he talked to his father in the bunker the other day. Something wasn’t right. Something was never right on the topic of Jesse Manes, but this time it felt different. He was up to something. Alex isn’t stupid. He wasn’t buying whatever he was trying to sell with that cane and day drinking.
A sudden knock on the front door made him jump a little. He closed the documents and put them aside before walking towards the door to see who it was.
“Morning sunshine.” Forrest was standing outside with the sweetest grin on his face. Both of his hands behind his back. Alex returned the smile
“Hey you. You’re early.” He said and moved aside to let him in.
“But it’s perfect timing. I’m making breakfast, if you want some?” He said and closed the door behind them.
“Oh, I can’t stay long. I just wanted to see you before leaving for work.” Forrest said while leaning in to fully greet him with a kiss on the cheek.
“And to give you these.” He added before reaching a bouquet of flowers towards Alex. Alex was stunned, staring at the flowers in astonishment. His chest suddenly became tight and he looked up at Forrest. No one has ever given him flowers before.
“W-what, I-“ Alex was speechless as he reached out and took the bouquet. Forrest chuckled and placed both of his hands on either side of Alex’s shoulders.
“Maybe it’s cliché, but I thought since we’ve been dating for two months, I figured I might as well.” He said with a shy smirk and shrugged. Alex shook his head in disbelief as he took a whiff of the flowers. Red tulips actually. Alex smiled lovingly. A declaration of love, he thought.
“I don’t even know what to say.” Alex stared deeply into Forrest’s eyes before leaning in, kissing him passionately. He had his arms around his neck, pulling him closer. The kiss deepened and Alex felt his heart burst with joy.
“You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted to show you my appreciation.” Forrest said, resting his forehead against Alex’s. He was blushing now.
“Also, I swear I’m not usually this sappy.” Forrest chuckled and tried to hide his own flushed cheeks. Alex laughed and shook his head.
“Now that’s a lie, or have you forgotten about you serenading me at Planet 7. Or that time you accidently admitted that you cried watching A walk to remember-“ Forrest cackled and pushed himself away far enough to stare at Alex who was grinning from ear to ear.
“Damn right I did, and I’d do it again.” He said confidently as he crossed his arms, not hiding any shame. Alex, still chuckling, pulled Forrest towards him again by his waist and leaning in for a gentle kiss.
“Thank you.” He said wholeheartedly, as they stared deeply into each other’s eyes. Completely and hopelessly in love with each other.
As Forrest was ready to leave for work, Alex promised to buy him dinner later that night. After they kissed goodbye, he closed the door behind him and started looking for a vase for the flowers.
It was around four in the afternoon when Alex heard knocking on his door again. He’d just come out of the shower. He quickly threw on a pair of sweatpants and placed the towel over his shoulders as he walked towards the front door. When he opened, he was half expecting to see Forrest, and not a distressed Michael.
“Guerin?” He said, frowning upon seeing him. Michael was not prepared to be met with a half-naked Alex, still wet from his shower. He glanced him up and down, taking in this image of him.
“What’s going on?” Alex asked concerned, as he didn’t get any response at first. Michael cleared his throat and looked up at Alex.
“Hey. Got time?” He asked. Alex nodded quietly as he stepped aside, allowing Michael to enter.
“What’s this about? Did something happen?” Alex asked while staring at Michael, trying to read his expression. He sighed deeply and threw his arms out in frustration.
“I don’t know. It’s Maria… She’s acting out again.”
Alex took a deep breath and stared down at the floor. He wasn’t exactly sure why Michael came to him about this. He wasn’t exactly thrilled to hear about their disputes.
“I don’t know what you want me to do about that. You know her, she’s fierce and got strong opinions.” Alex started, but Michael shook his head while looking away.
“Actually, she broke up with me.” He said. Alex’s expression softened and he looked at him with a woeful look.
“I’m really sorry.” And truly, he was sorry, but at the same time not. Not because he didn’t pity him, but because he and everyone else could see that Michael and Maria were like oil and water.
“What happened?” Alex scratched the back of his neck, not sure he was prepared to have this conversation. Michael looked back up at Alex, his eyes looking tired than ever, before he started pacing around the living room.
“She said she never knew where my head was at, and especially not my heart.” He finally said, glancing quickly back at Alex, who just stared at him with furrowed brows.
“She keeps asking me about you.” He added, not making eye contact with Alex anymore.
Alex raised his brows as he realized what was going on.
“And what did you say?” He crossed his arms, not really wanting an answer. Michael was still pacing, eyes flickering around the room. He wasn’t sure what to reply, because either way it would be a lie.
“Michael?” Alex sighed, trying to get his attention. Suddenly Michael’s pacing came to a halt, his eyes glued to the table next to the sofa. He furrowed his brows and walked closer.
“Since when did you become a florist enthusiast?” Michael asked jokingly, trying to change the subject. Alex stared at the bouquet of flowers he got this morning and took a deep breath as Michael looked at the tag that was stuck in between the flowers. “You deserve the world, but unfortunately it wasn’t for sale, so I got you these instead. – Love, F” Alex’s hands was starting to sweat as he watched the color drain from Michael’s face.
“Who’s F?” He asked confused, still holding the tag in his hands. The cat was out of the bag now, so might as well commit. Alex straightened his back and raised his chin up.
“Forrest… Forrest Long.” Alex answered shortly, still keeping his focus on Michael’s face. He looked down at the flowers one more time before turning around, facing Alex.
“Wait, nazi guy? From the Long farm?” he asked, more confused than ever. Alex clenched his jaw and nodded. Michael put the bouquet down and walked over to Alex.
“I don’t- I don’t understand. I didn’t even know you were still in touch with him.” Alex could visibly see the hurt and confusing in his eyes, but decided to not let it affect him. Instead he crossed his arms and shrugged.
“You never asked, so I never told… But now you know.”
“You’re dating?” Michael asked, swallowing down a lump in his throat.
“Yeah, as a matter of fact, we have a dinner date this evening.” Alex didn’t see any point in sugarcoating it. Michael took a deep breath and looked away, scratching his chin.
“Hm, dinners, dates, flowers… Seems serious.” He said with a stern look, trying to play it off as not a big deal. Alex scoffed and took the towel he still had hanging around his neck and tossed it on the nearest chair.
“We’ve been dating for two months, so yeah. I’m considering it serious.” Alex said, leaning back against the chair. Michael just huffed, a bittersweet sneer formed on his face.
“Right, right…” He was gritting his teeth now, trying not to let it get to him. Alex rolled his eyes.
“Seriously? You come to me, talking about your ups and downs with Maria, but as soon as I move on from you with someone who actually likes me, and now you’re gritting your teeth over it?” Alex shook his head in frustration. Michael’s heart felt heavy in his chest, his eyes burning, but he was determined not to cry.
“I’m happy for you.” Michael could have bit his tongue. Alex scoffed again and tried to force a smile.
“Very convincing.” Michael was fighting his tears now as he walked up to Alex.
“You deserve to be happy, and for someone to make you happy.” Michael finally said, biting his lip. Alex smiled genuinely this time.
“But I’m not so sure this Forrest guy can give you what you want, or need.” Alex’s smile faltered as he scowled back at Michael, shaking his head in disbelief.
“Yeah? And what do you know about my wants and needs, Guerin?” Alex shot back, sick of this conversation already. Michael swallowed hard and opened his mouth as to say something, but Alex have had enough. He walked towards the door and held it open.
“If you don’t mind, I have to get ready for dinner now.” Michael felt defeat, as he took one last glance at the flowers, and then Alex, before he walked out the door.
Alex covered his face with his hands and let out a deep breath. What a disaster. Michael had no right to feel threatened or jealous. Alex had given him multiple chances, but he chose Maria over him, because he wanted a simpler relationship and an easier life. And Alex, as heartbreaking as it was, had to accept that and respect his choice. But that didn’t mean that Alex wasn’t allowed to ever feel happiness or love, which is something he gets from Forrest.
With a bitter taste in his mouth, Alex finally got ready for his date.
summary: puppies & pasta (no beta, all mistakes are mine sadly lol)
When Forrest came back to Alex’s house from a long day at the library where he had been trying to work on finishing his book, he was not expecting to see his boyfriend on the couch asleep, with Buffy and Willow, the two fattest beagles, asleep on top of him.
Alex was fully passed out, his arm dangling off the couch, the weight of two dogs on top of him not even waking him from his sleep. Forrest knew Alex still suffered from nightmares due to his father, but when he was tired enough, not even a loud crack of thunder could wake him.
Smiling to himself that Alex was finally getting some undisturbed rest, he went to the kitchen to start making dinner for the two of them. By the time he came back, the dogs were awake and took notice of their other human dad and before either dog could slowly move off of Alex, the man in question was waking up.
“Puppy pile again?” Alex groaned, taking in how much weight was currently sitting on him. He huffed out a laugh, as Forrest went about lifting the dogs off of him so he could sit up fully.
His hair was askew as Alex rubbed the sleep from his eyes, and Forrest looked up at him after he placed the dogs on the floor. The sound of their paws moving towards the kitchen could be heard in the background. He wanted to put his fingers through Alex’s hair, as he knew the action always calmed him.
“You’re cute,” was all Forrest could say and Alex blushed at the compliment, before grabbing his crutch to stand up, ignoring the sudden heat he felt on his face. His prosthetic was in the bedroom, and Alex always preferred having it off when he was home, knowing he could just walk around his own home without it on was a comfort.
“Did you make pasta again?” Alex asked, walking slowly towards the kitchen, taking note of the smell coming from the room.
“Don’t judge me okay? It’s all I can make,” the blue-haired man responded, watching as Alex let out a laugh that could make anyone in the room smile.
Alex sat down, placing the crutch against the table and lifted his arms in defeat, “No judging. I appreciate it and I appreciate you.” The smile that lit up his face made Forrest want to grab his face and kiss him. As they started eating their dinner, Forrest couldn’t stop staring at his boyfriend.
“I love you.”
He said it. After five months of going back and forth with his feelings, he knew he loved this man.
Alex, who was in the middle of eating a forkful of pasta, froze.
He slowly swallowed his food, took a sip of his beer and smiled.
Hey, if you feel like writing a Forlex prompt I was thinking Buffy didn't just eat too many treats but is actually pregnant. So Forrest calls Alex in the middle of the night and Alex thinks booty call but Forrest just wanted Alex there for the birth of his fur babies. Your fics are a gift and always cheer me up 😘
Hello friend! Thank you so much! This idea is so effing cute, I just had to give it a shot! (I wrote this directly into Tumblr, so sorry if there’s any spelling errors in this)
Alex flopped his hand out of his blanket cocoon and tried to find his buzzing phone without opening his eyes. His fingers grazed the recangular shape and he managed to grab it. He swiped his thumb over the screen (hopefully on the right side) and put it to his ear.
‘Y’ello?’
‘Alex you should totally come over right now-’
‘Forrest?’
‘Oh yes. Hi, this is Forrest, I know it’s like- oh shit is it that late already? Damn sorry. Uh, right. Well-’
‘Is this a booty call?’ Alex asked, his eyes still closed. He’d recognized Forrest’s voice almost immediately. After that awkwardly amazing slam poetry thing he’d done the other day, his voice seemed to be on loop in Alex’s head.
‘What? No, no, no. No, that’s not- nope. Look Buffy, my dog? The Slayer?’ Forrest prompted and Alex smiled involuntarily.
‘I remember your dog. Cute as a button, kinda chunky.’ Heavy as hell. Bad for Alex’s back.
‘Yeah well, the chunk wasn’t just because she eats too many treats- I mean she does but that wasn’t the only reason- anyways, she’s having puppies. She’s giving birth to puppies. Right now.’ Alex finally blinked his eyes open.
‘Right now?’
‘Yes, and you mentioned the other day that you had been thinking about getting a dog of your own and then I got to thinking, maybe you want a puppy and maybe you would want one of Buffy’s pups. I would totally give you one of my fur babies, you would treat them well, I trust you and that would be so cute, like you could visit Buffy with one of her kids and I’m rambling again because I’m kind of super nervous.’ Alex pushed himself into a sitting position.
‘You want to give me a puppy?’ He was feeling more awake by the second.
‘Well, once they’re old enough to leave their mom of course, but yeah.’ He could tell Forrest was grinning. ‘And I realize now that it’s insane to ask you to come and drive out to mine in the middle of the night and I would not have called if I’d realized what time it was, but maybe you would want to come over in the morning? You could meet the wriggly little shits?’ Alex ran a hand through his hair, a little laugh forced its way out of his mouth.
‘Yeah. Yeah, I’d love to meet the wriggly little shits.’
‘Awesome, okay. So I could cook you breakfast tomorrow? 9am maybe? Is that okay?’
‘Yes, that sounds great.’
‘Good, great. Sorry for calling so late.’ He could hear Forrest flinch.
‘It’s fine. Puppies are something you are totally allowed to wake me up for.’ Alex smiled. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow morning.’
‘Yes, I’ll see you tomorrow.’ Forrest said and then the line went dead. Alex had to just laugh with himself for a second. What a guy.
Five times Alex surprised Forrest and one time he didn’t
Final two Chapters!
Not gonna lie. I literally cried when I finished this. And I vowed to myself that I’d NEVER write a multi chapter ever again.
But anyway, I FINISHED IT. I feel so proud of myself. Also, I now realize that I’m not a writer, like at all. To quote Mr Alec Lightwood-Bane, “I dabble”.
Chapter 1 Chapter 2
Chapter 3 Chapter 4
5.
Forrest’s lease was up in two weeks, and he hadn’t even tried to look for a new apartment yet.
Thing was, he and Alex were practically living together, they just spent their nights alternatively in his apartment or Alex’s house, depending on their work schedule or the mood.
Besides, Buffy OWNED that couch in Alex’s house at this point. No lie, anyone who wanted to sit on that couch needed to ask for her permission, Alex included.
But Alex hadn’t asked him yet. And he knew about the lease thing, Forrest made sure of it.
So here he was, blew off Alex’s dinner request and sat in wild pony, alone and miserable, just because he didn’t know if his boyfriend, who he had dated almost seven months now, wanted to take the next step with him or not. It was a little pathetic to be honest.
“Maybe I should just ask him”, he murmured to himself, needing the outspoken words to give himself courage.
“Ask him about what?” Isobel suddenly appeared to his left.
“Jesus”, he was startled, and a little bit embarrassed. He and Isobel were sort of friends now, but talking about boy problems with each other? They were so not there yet. So he deflected. “What are you doing here? I thought you and Greg were going out tonight.”
Isobel considered him for a moment, eyes insightful. Forrest sometimes felt like she could see right through him, it was unsettling to say the least. But she played along, dropping the topic.
“Gee, what are you and Alex? Teenage besties? You tell each other every little thing in your life now? Including who one’s brother goes out with on any given day?”
“Pretty much, yeah.” Forrest replied, deadpan, “What else would we talk about when we go to the bathroom together, hand in hand?”
Isobel snorted. “Well, Greg had to bail on me because his brother was feeling alone and insecure tonight because he said, and I quote, ‘it’s our six months anniversary and I planned the whole thing but he chose today of all days to blow off our date. Is he gonna dump me oh my dear brother?’”
Forrest frowned. “What are you talking about? Our six months anniversary was almost three weeks ago. We had a nice dinner, we exchanged gifts. Well, I gave him a gift, he gave some toy to Buffy, but you know, PRESENTS were involved.”
“Don’t look at me. All I know is that I’m here and Greg is there. When we could’ve been having a MUCH enjoyable time right now if not for your issues, no matter what they are.”
Forrest couldn’t help himself at that point.
“If he cared so much about me, why didn’t he want me to move in with him?”
Isobel froze at that. But she recovered quickly. “Are you sure you want to talk to me about this, Long? I’m sure our friendship is so not there yet.”
He KNEW this. He just didn’t care anymore. “Why not? It’s not everyday I can talk about my boyfriend issues to said boyfriend’s ex’s sister, is it?”
Isobel sighed. “When you put it that way, it’s almost like we’re family. So go ahead. But I gotta say, I don’t know why you’re so upset, it’s only been six months. It’s within reason that he didn’t ask you to move in, no?”
Forrest shook his head. “Normally I’d agree. But for the last month or so, we haven’t spent a single night apart. We’re either in my apartment or in his house. And the lease of my apartment is up in 2 weeks. He knew this, because I TOLD him last week, but instead of asking what my plans are, he changed the subject, rather smoothly I might add, but it was still a very abrupt move.”
He went quieter. “I haven’t gathered the courage to bring up the topic ever since. And it’s not only been six months, it’s six months and three weeks.”
“Well”, Isobel also went quieter. “I don’t know much about your relationship status. But I want to quote the thing you just said, you should ask him. And maybe sort out the whole different dates on the anniversary mess?”
Forrest stared. “You are absolutely no help.”
She drank his drink, patted him on the back, and left.
Really. No help at all.
——————————————
When he parked in Alex’s driveway, Greg was already gone. Perhaps went to the ENJOYABLE TIME with Isobel. Which, eww.
He went in, using the key Alex gave him. (He had a key for god’s sake, didn’t that say something?) Buffy was lying on HER couch, not even spared a glance his way. So she took Alex’s side. Great.
Then he was met with candles and roses and wine and cold homemade meal, and a visibly upset and a little sad Alex.
OK if he was Buffy he would probably take Alex’s side too.
He felt guilty but also angry because he had done nothing he should feel guilty about, so he blurted out the first thing that came to his mind.
“It’s not our six months anniversary.”
Alex looked confused. “What? It’s definitely six months since I kissed you and we went on our first date that night.”
Forrest was cold all of a sudden.
“Wait. I thought our first date was the paint ball date?”
Now Alex was the one looked guilty. “I don’t consider it the beginning of our relationship, because at that time, I hadn’t moved on from Guerin yet. But the night when I sang that song...”
“You mean that song you wrote for him, sang it in front of him, hoping he would take you back, but got rejected, that song? So what, you think our relationship only began after you knew he was no longer a possibility?”
Forrest never hated himself more in his whole life. He was being petty, he knew. And he was hurting the love of his life for being petty. But whatever’s said, couldn’t be unsaid.
Alex’s knuckles turned white from gripping the kitchen table. He said in a controlled voice. “I think our relationship began after I was sure I wanna move on. Yes, the reason I wanted to move on was because I thought there was no chance between me and Guerin anymore. And yes, if he had not walked out of that song, you and I might not have entered our relationship. But he did walk out, and I decided to try it with you. I’m glad I made that decision.”
He took a calming breath. But his voice shook a little at the end of his words. “You know all this. I’ve been nothing but honest with you. I told you my history with Guerin, you said you wanted to fight for us. What changed?”
His greedy heart was what changed, Forrest could at least admit this to himself. He had this constant fear, always looming somewhere deep in his heart, that if Guerin ever wanted to fight for Alex back, he would WIN.
He didn’t want to acknowledge that fear to Alex though, so he asked instead: “Why haven’t you asked me to move in with you? You knew my lease status.”
Something flicked through Alex’s eyes then, something like panic and afraid. But he was never one to avoid confrontation so he braced himself and said, “Because it’s a big step and I don’t think we’re there yet.”
Well if Forrest had ever thought he’d experienced the worst pain, he’d be wrong.
His voice was broken alongside his heart. “We’ve been living together for a month now, Alex, just in two places. I don’t understand, what more do we need to take the step? Where is this THERE?”
“I don’t know!” Alex seemed heartbroken too. Damn him. “Moving in together means we’re going steady. But I’m not steady and I can not offer steady at the moment!”
“What the fuck does that even mean?” Forrest was angry now, because what Alex said was just total bullshit. “You are the steadiest person I know! And I don’t know if you noticed, but we’ve been going steady for at least four months now!”
“Not that kind of steady!” Alex continued to not making any sense, “the kind of steady that I can share everything with you, that I know where I’d end up, that we’re having the safe and happy future we both want!”
“Wait, back up, what?” He was utterly lost. “What do you mean, end up? You told me you are very unlikely to get relocated. And after this term of your enlistment, you’ll get out and find a job here. And more importantly, what the fuck do you mean, safe? Why shouldn’t we be safe?” He didn’t want to touch the “share everything” part, not just yet.
Alex shut his eyes. “I can’t tell you that.”
So literally “can’t share everything” huh, well it hurt like a bitch.
To add salt to the wound, because he was apparently asking for pain at this point, he asked, “Is it about Guerin?”
Alex didn’t answer that. He just stood there, eyes teary and pleading.
“So let me get this straight. You can’t move in with me because you can’t promise that we’d have a future together because you may end up dead or something, and the reason you might be in trouble even danger some day is because you are doing something for Guerin, which you can’t tell me about.”
Alex still said nothing.
Forrest should just leave, take Buffy and never turn back. But he had been a pathetic loser for Alex since day one, so he asked a last question, he practically begged: “Is there a time frame of this thing you do for him? Because I can be patient.” He even tried a lighthearted smile, he failed spectacularly.
Alex seemed SHATTERED by that. But he still shook his head.
After that, there was nothing left to say.
————————————
Turned out, it was really easy to find a new apartment in Roswell, New Mexico.
————————————
He was writing a poem in Crashdown when Guerin showed up. He was writing a lot of poems these days since Alex and he had the argument the other day. (He hadn’t seen, talked to or heard from Alex for three weeks now, but he still refused to call it a breakup.)
So he was writing his poem and had every reason to ignore Guerin, even if he sat in the opposite seat of the booth, directly in front of him.
Guerin seemed he didn’t really want to be there either, because he cut to the chase rather quickly.
“Alex re-enlisted because he wanted to protect me and my family from the government agency that is hunting us.” He said in a rush, voice so quiet Forrest thought he must’ve misheard him.
“What?” No, that was not quite enough, “What the fuck?”
Guerin cursed under his breath. “You are not stupid and you are not slow. You understand perfectly what I said. So ask a question that has some meaning instead of just being dense.”
Fuck him. “Why are you hunted?”
“I can’t tell you that.”
Great. Time to leave.
“Wait!” Guerin half shouted, frustration evident in his voice, “Do you care more about this or do you want to know what type of trouble this could bring to Alex?”
He stilled. And sat back down.
Guerin pulled his hair, hard. “Honestly, I don’t know that either. But I know I would do everything in my power to prevent any type of danger heading his way.”
Forrest laughed, humorlessly. “No offense, but that does not assure me, like at all.”
“What do you want me to say?” Guerin was angry now, “The GOVERNMENT is hunting us. Alex was already involved, we couldn’t get him out now even if we tried. And honestly, he wouldn’t want to get out, he is stubborn like that, even if he’s now suffering from it.”
“Because he wants to protect you.”
“Because it’s the right thing to do!”
They glared at each other, both angry and hurt.
Guerin backed down first. “He wants to protect me, and my family, yes, that is a factor why he is doing this. But not the only factor. He also wants to create his own legacy, and really, it IS the right thing to do.”
Somehow, Forrest believed him. He didn’t like him, but he believed him.
“Why are you telling me this?” He needed to know.
Guerin looked like he’d rather die than say the next bit, but he still said it. “Like I said, he’s suffering, because he thought he lost you over this.”
He then stared right into Forrest eyes, as if daring him to look away. “And I could swallow a lot of things if it means he’d be happy, you of all people should understand this, shouldn’t you?”
———————————
He left Buffy with his cousin because he wanted to have an uninterrupted conversation with Alex. She wasn’t happy about it.
But when he stood in front of Alex’s door, he suddenly lost all words. He even lost the courage to KNOCK.
The last three weeks had been the most miserable days of his life. He was only keeping himself together (barely) by insisting to himself that it was only an argument, not a definite ending. He didn’t know what he’d do if Alex decided it was in fact done and over.
He didn’t know what he’d do if those three weeks would turn into the rest of his life.
Panic struck him all at once, and he was ready to turn around and flee, when the door opened and Alex stepped out.
And he looked terrible.
He was losing weight, eyes bloodshot, hair a mess. He looked exactly like Forrest when he looked in the mirror these days.
He had so many things to say, to apologize, to blame, to yell, to beg. But no words came out. He stepped forward, as if being pulled by some invisible force, and next thing he knew, he was clutching at Alex, totally engulfed by his embrace.
He vaguely thought about loosing his grip a bit because it was really too desperate, but he was also having a little trouble breathing from Alex’s tight hug, so he let it go.
————————————
He didn’t know how long they stood there and hugged the fuck out of each other, but by the time they sat down on Buffy’s couch, he felt like a new man already.
They were sitting side by side, not exactly touching, but Alex’s hand rested beside his, he only had to move a fraction so that their pinkies would touch.
He moved that fraction.
Alex looked down, to their now touching pinkies. He smiled, moved his hand even further to Forrest so all of their fingers entwined.
Then he said, ever so soft, “I missed you. I missed you so damn much.”
Forrest wanted to cry. He wanted to say it didn’t matter anymore. He didn’t want to know anything beyond the fact that he loved Alex and Alex loved him. He would be happy as long as he could have Alex by his side. He didn’t care about moving in or being steady. He just wanted Alex back.
But Alex surprised him by pulling him up and to the bedroom. There, in the corner, was a small bed.
A dog bed.
Forrest was speechless. Fear and hope clogging his throat.
“I purchased it the day you left after our fight”, so he thought of it as a fight, not a breakup either. They were both idiots. “I knew then I wanted you and Buffy to move in, but I thought I couldn’t have that. Like Guerin told you, we’re up against the government, I don’t even know if I can get an honorable discharge, I can’t promise you a bright future.”
He took a deep breath. “But now I want nothing more than to ask you to move in with me.”
He should be happy, he shouldn’t ask any questions anymore. But he just needed to.
“Why? What changed?”
Alex didn’t hesitate. “The last three weeks happened, and they changed how I see things.”
“How?”
“I realized I couldn’t live without you. I also don’t want to.”
Forrest thought he could burst from all the love and happiness he felt at that moment.
Alex tightened his grip on Forrest’s hand, he was sweating a little, which meant he was nervous as fuck, and said in a tentative voice.
“I still can’t tell you what is it about Guerin and his family, not without his permission, or how long this hunting will continue, and I still can’t promise you I’ll be safe and sound for our future together. But I’m willing to fight teeth and nail so I’d come back to you, to our home.” His voice broke, “So will you move in with me?”
He had no choice but to say yes.
+1.
He proposed on a Saturday morning, when they were in bed, tangled up, changing smiles and kisses, after Alex told him the danger was no longer there and Guerin and his siblings were in the clear. He simply took out the ring he had bought three months ago, and asked.
“Marry me?”
And when Alex said yes, he wasn’t surprised at all.
